I have to stop for tonight as I am beyond struggling. I feel doped and drugged. It must have been something someone put in my food. I am unable to think, or move, or function. I am looking at seven products on my desk that I have to return which does not include the items from a few days ago I had to return, or the items I’ve already thrown in the trash. It is just sickening. I can barely keep my eyes open. I am not sure I will be able to sleep this off, I feel so drugged.
August 30, 2017
To David Wolfe, whoever is in charge in this virtual reality I am living:
I don’t know where to begin. I don’t know what happened tonight. Was I supposed to stay or was I supposed to go home? To begin with can I just say how much I do not enjoy having to explain myself like this in this manner. It makes me feel like a child asking for permission. I am a grown adult. I am just so sick of all of this nonsense, living like this year after year. The rate is too high. It is impossible to be held responsible for problems beyond my control. The rate is too high when all that happens every night is a shut-down of the line.
What is my job? I don’t know. Just like I’ve not known what my job at Home Depot, Disney call center DRC. Just like I had no idea what The Container Store was after discovering everything is faked.
By my calculations I should still be above the goal. However, the rate is completely unrealistic. I was about the have my say so, but something else that happens EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY is being slowed down, held back in traffic when I would otherwise make it to work on-time!
I walked out the first day for this reason only – I receive this down my line all the time – Virtual Reality 4, A Thief’s End, naughty dog. I would just like to say how much I despise being treated as an animal. I am not a dog, a cat, a horse. I am me and no one else.
I hear this in my head too. They would rather get rid of Jeremy than get rid of you, Cherith. I don’t know what’s real anymore. There is too much talking in my head that is not my own voice or opinion. But, this constant struggle FEELS exactly like they want to get rid of me.
So, let me go if you don’t want me there anymore. Leave me alone. Let me get another job if you don’t want me there.
I have no choice anymore, I must stop at the stop sign on Painted Turtle because I do not enjoy this experience at all. I never wanted to live my life completely ALONE!
I cannot stand being constantly told who and what I am!!! When to do something, given a task list to complete every day after work! Like any person would enjoy more work after they have already finished 8, 10, or 12 hours of work?!!!!!
I constantly feel like I am being shoved out the door!
I constantly feel like I am not wanted or welcome.
James Franco is an asshole! I wish I had never met him. I would say tell him I said so, but I believe he already knows. He wouldn’t know how to run a business even if the whole world showed him how to do it.
I don’t care for him at all since I DO NOT KNOW THE SOB!! After the picnic in the park with Mark, I went for a coffee, a black motorcycle just on the other side of the street. I felt like that person was staring at me with so much hatred and anger. I have no idea why someone would be looking at me like that?!
Do you know how absolutely miserable it is living here?! Why did I just hear in my head climate control? Can you imagine living in a place knowing every single day strangers enter your home only to torture, torment, and make fun of you at work. Can you imagine what it feels like to not have one place of your own? This feels like prison. Even when I am here I am not alone. People talking to me outside, strangers talking to me in my head.
Writing as I am doing things, I had to delete the heart 2 heart. 2 is simply not an option in any way. That stupid fuck-head James Franco! What a fucking moron!
Do you know I could be working somewhere making $20+/hr. somewhere?! If I only had the access to the outside world, or the rest of the world. I wouldn’t have to be going through bankruptcy.
Do you know, that I personally over the years probably spent more than $15,000.00 on my home in Plant City?! Creggan said he wanted to retire there. Creggan loves living in Florida, he never wanted to move. I have always wanted to be somewhere OTHER than Florida since moving here. I spent the money because I believed it was an investment in the property. As long as someone in the family was going to keep it. He should have fixed the roof instead of moving. It feels like I was forced to move because of the neighbors. I had an outside there, I don’t have any outside here in this house because the moment I walk outside it is a virtual reality set.
I don’t know who was to the left of me tonight. I had an image of rain dog when I saw him tonight which reminded me of Aaron Paul. I feel like I’ve seen him before driving nearby, he looked like he was having fun, laughing and smiling. I heard in my head tonight that we’ve met before. Maybe it was at TCS, I don’t recall. Home Depot?
Do you know I am just now reminded of a time at TCS when it was a terrible rain storm which kept customer away, I had a long conversation with a man who was doing a reno on his kitchen, I think, and house(?)? He was a lovely man, it was a lovely conversation. I used to enjoy being able to do that at TCS, having conversations.
Do you know how disturbing it to be told how and in what fashion I am allowed to have or not have pubic hair?!
Do you know that I believed when I wrote things like – Luxury of Simple Things – that my experience would have spa items in the totes and tray, or food items after the food day I wrote about. Do you know how boring it is to always receive cat litter, cat litter, dog food, dog food, diapers, diapers, dog food, dog food. I thought more of my writing would be incorporated somehow.
Do you know it is impossible for me to place everything in my garage on one side? Do you know that somethings only fit on one side? Do you know I find it completely ridiculous to constantly correct the right side that is not valid, not now, nor has it ever been? He should move not me.
Do you know I believed the announcement that Nights were being shut-down? Meaning there was going to be an end to entering my home with the Privacy locks.
Why did you ruin the Bio-freeze? I still need and want it.
It looked like a family member of Vincent Cassell that I saw on my drive to work today. I am simply holding off on certain purchases until my next paycheck.
Yeah, I remember talking to my brother about how (I’m sorry, I am trying to write as fast as possible, I don’t know her name. The woman in GOT who…now, I forget entirely, she struggled…oh, I think is it because it was such a masculine role(?)…struggled with the perception of her femininity) Fuck you, Franco!
Do you know I remember at Home Depot and…I would say African- American gentleman, but I think I know better needing help with a drawer being put back together pulling too hard and it came apart…and, yeah, he was with an African American female? Then, all of a sudden Cast Away shows up in my DVD collection. I was looking for it after all that driving. If I could I would punch Franco in his face!
BTW, Tommy when he was Franco, shook hands, I exclaimed I hope I didn’t break your thumb, and Dave Wolfe after he hung up the phone, held his hands because he was moving them so much – were both men – I don’t believe there was any facial hair involved in that one.
Do you know how much I miss chewing gum?! It’s bad! I want gum back! I want allergy-free gum back!!
Do you know what you have done to my body…to my vagina? Do you know it feels like it is sewn up, or grown back together? It is so revolting. It is so dehumanizing. The experience is so much worse than I can express in words.
The only reason I took my shoes off to get the mail is this: JB Hunt semi-truck., and the Dick’s Sporting Goods job application, and the unfairly low number.
I meant to add water to my alcohol purchase since it seems the only way to keep things from being HEAVY.
I meant to change the locks before anything arrived. I chose to wait because my Chrome lock – one screw is becoming stripped and I did and do not want to have to replace it.
I am only one person. I can only do so much, and the effect that all of this has on me should be looked at quickly, actions should be taken to correct things that should never have happened, that were never valid, and never an option!
LET’S GET THIS STRAIGHT RIGHT NOW! IT IS MY OPINION THAT MATTERS MOST! IT IS MY MIND THAT MATTERS MOST! WITHOUT MY BRAIN, WITHOUT MY MIND NONE OF YOU WOULD BE HERE NOW!
I AM GROSSLY UNHAPPY WITH THE LOCKS! I AM GROSSLY UNHAPPY WITH MY WEIGHT! I AM GROSSLY UNHAPPY WITH BEING HANDLED! I AM GROSSLY UNHAPPY WITH BEING TREATED AS A “THING” AN ANIMAL, A BABY, A SOMETHING TO BE TAUGHT TO BEHAVE IN A CERTAIN MANNER! BECAUSE AGAIN I SAY WITHOUT MY MIND NONE OF YOU FUCKERS WOULD BE HERE!!!!!!!!!!
I CARE NOT FOR ANY OF THIS! I CARE NOT FOR TRYING TO BELIEVE THAT I AM ON TELEVISION, OR THE RADIO, OR IN A FILM, OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU TRY TO MAKE ME BELIEVE! I AM SO MUCH GREATER THAN ANY OF THIS, THAN ANYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED, OR YOU WOULDN’T FUCKING BE HERE!!!!!!!
I CHOOSE! I SAY! I SAY WHO AND WHAT I AM! YOUR STORY AND PLOT LINES ARE TIRED AND WORN OUT SINCE NONE OF THEM CAME FROM MY MIND!
THE WAY YOU TRY TO SUCK UP TO ME WHILE I AM AT HOME, THEN RIP ME TO SHREDS AND APART AS SOON AS I GET TO WORK AND THAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING TO ME FOR YEARS REGARDLESS OF WHERE I WORK!!!!!
I AM SO APPALLED AT THE WASTE OF MY TIME AND YEARS SPENT AT THIS! I COULD BE LEARNING ANOTHER LANGUAGE, LEARNING TO PLAY THE PIANO, STUDYING GEOGRAPHY, PLANNING A MOVE TO LEAVE THIS PLACE, PLANNING VACATIONS, PLANNING MY LIFE INSTEAD OF CONSTANTLY CHANGING MY LOCKS, STARVING MYSELF TO KEEP MY WEIGHT WHERE I WANT IT BECAUSE I AM NEVER GOING BACK TO THE CHERITH DAVID ONCE KNEW, THROWING AWAY FOOD, THROWING AWAY CLOTHING, THROWINIG AWAY PURCHASES, WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME!!!!!!
I AM SO ASHAMED OF MY LIFE – IT IS COMPLETELY EMPTY – MY MOTHER WOULD BE SO ASHAMED OF THIS PERSON SOMEONE PERVERTED AND DRAGGED INTO THE PUBLIC. I AM SO ASHAMED BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING LEFT ANYMORE.
THIS DELAPITADED SYSTEM OF CONTROL NEEDS TO BE REPLACED.
IT IS BEYOND STUPID, IT IS BEYOND INTERESTING, THERE IS SUCH A BETTER USE OF EVERYONE’S TIME AND ENERGY! MINE MOST IMPORTANTLY! BECAUSE I WILL SAY THIS OVER AND OVER WITHOIT MY MIND YOU WOULDN’T FUCKING BE HERE!
DO YOU KNOW IF IT WASN’T FOR THAT CAR CRASH, THE CONTAINER STORE WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED?! I STILL DON’T KNOW WHY THE CRASH HAPPENED TO BEGIN WITH.
I play music on the other computer because this one is not loud enough to be heard.
Sephora – As much as I want to wear make-up again even a little bit to look better, I will not open my Sephora package until I am certain privacy will keep people from harming my products.
F-Series – I am now uncertain about this lock. For me the radio and everything once played in my car and on the radio no longer applies since I have shut it down! For me, since it is my mind and my opinion that matters I understand it only to mean that family matters, families are important whether they are by birth or relationships formed so close they are like family. They are not permitted into my home, nor are they allowed to alter products to play trick in my home. I am simply making the statement that one cannot live entirely alone. Everyone needs someone, everyone needs people. Also, my family should never have been taken from me. No one should have anyone taken from them. No one should have their family taken from them.
BTW, no one has their vision changed overnight. A person’s vision does not change in a day. I want my vision corrected back!
Willis/Dr. Carter/Google play – I remember Willis point in Georgia, I remember Google play on my phone when I was at the Pilot gas station in Georgia where I then went to the Jimmy Carter museum. I was talked out of going to the World of Coke in my head which is where I wanted to go and was headed for before someone in my head not to go there because of Joe. I remember the paperwork from my car accident which had the name of the doctor as Dr. Carter which always seemed strange to me at the time. I remember seeing JJ Abrams – full beard – on Google. The connection being made was Google.
Do you know the only reason I ever liked HBO on facebook was because of the Weinsteins? I thought they had good taste, careful in their selections, and smart politically, and strategically in their Hollywood decisions. Of course, the new air, diaper training, dog pad training changes my opinions on everything.
Grand Tour – Here is a problem because I love those guys, I love that show, and Amazon was smart to acquire them. However, I am upset with feeling tricked, manipulated, and deceived into sitting on Roy’s side at their wedding. So, I am at a loss. I am upset with the way things are being handled and managed. So, I am at a loss. Because for me in my mind – which is of course the most important or you would not be here – David is Amazon, and not Rick AKA James Franco. So, I am at a loss.
This leaves me wishing and wanted to walk away from it all because so much of it if not all of it was never real nor ever applied.
Creggan needs to divorce Roy. It’s not real. It shouldn’t have happened in my opinion. And, I can speak better than you allowed me to speak at their wedding. I know control was used to make me appear nervous and unpolished in my speaking. This person should never be allowed in my head, or life. Period.
Game of Purchases – I am appalled at the abuse and over-use of my money and paycheck. I need to stick to a budget. Do you know why a reality show such as Amazing Race or Big Brother only shoots for a few months? Because that is the only way it works. How else can I possibly explain in an email to my lawyer why my food budget is so high other than to say I have a bug problem. Since, so much of my food has to be thrown away and replaced. It is appalling to me that this reality has taken the low road and not the high road as far as my purchases, my treatment, and all ways concerning me. Big kid is NOT FUNNY! The entire world is funnier than that FUCKO FRANCO!!!
Liz Earle/Apple/Neutrogena – I am tired of constantly having to change every single thing. When something works you stick with it. I am tired of having my opinions changed because others alter my products. I adored Liz Earle products for their attention to detail. The tiny seals on ALL of their products, the ingredients, the careful packaging. I noticed it all and appreciated it. Plus, I thought it was a superior product. I am disgusted that my products were intercepted and the seals removed. Plus, I am disgusted that my emails were intercepted trying to make me believe they no longer add seals and such to their products. This type of behavior is unacceptable!!!!!!
With my first purchase of an Apple product I was in awe. I am a loyal person. I am a brand loyal person when a product and company are worth my time and money. I opened my shuffle, I could not believe how much thought went into the specific and careful packaging of the product. It felt like opening a ring box. Plus, the ease of use makes a customer want more. I fell in love with Apple and my shuffle that quickly. I was specific in my choice of inscription on my shuffle. What to do with the time that’s given. For, I felt inspiration to apply that to my life at the time. There was so much of my time that I was NOT allowed to do things because of taking care of my mother, so what could I do while taking care of her which is why I spent so much time watching movies and reading books. I can write about that at another time. However, know this what I wanted, what I was searching for are those Master class moments that simply happen.
Neutrogena – Again, a great product for the price, simple and clean. I am sick that you have ruined it! I want this type of behavior to stop.
The stupidity of all this being created upon my driving route, locks on my door, clothing choices, hairdo’s, etc. It is so dumb to me given it has been going on for so many years now.
Writing and not reporting – I am sick and tired of all the time and energy I have to spend to report all the problems I have. I could be writing. I could be developing stories and story lines instead of having to go to the bathroom all the time, or storming off to my car, or fixing problems you’ve created in my house.
CHERITH J GJESTLAND