Declassified Files: A Series of True Events Being Brought to Light

I have to stop for tonight as I am beyond struggling.  I feel doped and drugged.  It must have been something someone put in my food.  I am unable to think, or move, or function.  I am looking at seven products on my desk that I have to return which does not include the items from a few days ago I had to return, or the items I’ve already thrown in the trash.  It is just sickening.  I can barely keep my eyes open.  I am not sure I will be able to sleep this off, I feel so drugged.

August 30, 2017

To David Wolfe, whoever is in charge in this virtual reality I am living:

I don’t know where to begin.  I don’t know what happened tonight.  Was I supposed to stay or was I supposed to go home?  To begin with can I just say how much I do not enjoy having to explain myself like this in this manner.  It makes me feel like a child asking for permission.  I am a grown adult.  I am just so sick of all of this nonsense, living like this year after year.  The rate is too high.  It is impossible to be held responsible for problems beyond my control.  The rate is too high when all that happens every night is a shut-down of the line.

What is my job?  I don’t know.  Just like I’ve not known what my job at Home Depot, Disney call center DRC.  Just like I had no idea what The Container Store was after discovering everything is faked. 

By my calculations I should still be above the goal.  However, the rate is completely unrealistic.  I was about the have my say so, but something else that happens EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY is being slowed down, held back in traffic when I would otherwise make it to work on-time! 

I walked out the first day for this reason only – I receive this down my line all the time – Virtual Reality 4, A Thief’s End, naughty dog.  I would just like to say how much I despise being treated as an animal.  I am not a dog, a cat, a horse.  I am me and no one else.

I hear this in my head too.  They would rather get rid of Jeremy than get rid of you, Cherith.  I don’t know what’s real anymore.  There is too much talking in my head that is not my own voice or opinion.  But, this constant struggle FEELS exactly like they want to get rid of me. 

So, let me go if you don’t want me there anymore.  Leave me alone.  Let me get another job if you don’t want me there.

I have no choice anymore, I must stop at the stop sign on Painted Turtle because I do not enjoy this experience at all.  I never wanted to live my life completely ALONE!

I cannot stand being constantly told who and what I am!!!  When to do something, given a task list to complete every day after work!  Like any person would enjoy more work after they have already finished 8, 10, or 12 hours of work?!!!!!

I constantly feel like I am being shoved out the door!

I constantly feel like I am not wanted or welcome.

James Franco is an asshole!  I wish I had never met him.  I would say tell him I said so, but I believe he already knows.  He wouldn’t know how to run a business even if the whole world showed him how to do it. 

I don’t care for him at all since I DO NOT KNOW THE SOB!!  After the picnic in the park with Mark, I went for a coffee, a black motorcycle just on the other side of the street.  I felt like that person was staring at me with so much hatred and anger.  I have no idea why someone would be looking at me like that?! 

Do you know how absolutely miserable it is living here?!  Why did I just hear in my head climate control?  Can you imagine living in a place knowing every single day strangers enter your home only to torture, torment, and make fun of you at work.  Can you imagine what it feels like to not have one place of your own?  This feels like prison.  Even when I am here I am not alone.  People talking to me outside, strangers talking to me in my head.

Writing as I am doing things, I had to delete the heart 2 heart.  2 is simply not an option in any way.  That stupid fuck-head James Franco!  What a fucking moron!

Do you know I could be working somewhere making $20+/hr. somewhere?!  If I only had the access to the outside world, or the rest of the world.  I wouldn’t have to be going through bankruptcy.

Do you know, that I personally over the years probably spent more than $15,000.00 on my home in Plant City?!  Creggan said he wanted to retire there.  Creggan loves living in Florida, he never wanted to move.  I have always wanted to be somewhere OTHER than Florida since moving here.  I spent the money because I believed it was an investment in the property.  As long as someone in the family was going to keep it.  He should have fixed the roof instead of moving.  It feels like I was forced to move because of the neighbors.  I had an outside there, I don’t have any outside here in this house because the moment I walk outside it is a virtual reality set.

I don’t know who was to the left of me tonight.  I had an image of rain dog when I saw him tonight which reminded me of Aaron Paul.  I feel like I’ve seen him before driving nearby, he looked like he was having fun, laughing and smiling.  I heard in my head tonight that we’ve met before.  Maybe it was at TCS, I don’t recall.  Home Depot?

Do you know I am just now reminded of a time at TCS when it was a terrible rain storm which kept customer away, I had a long conversation with a man who was doing a reno on his kitchen, I think, and house(?)?  He was a lovely man, it was a lovely conversation.  I used to enjoy being able to do that at TCS, having conversations.

Do you know how disturbing it to be told how and in what fashion I am allowed to have or not have pubic hair?!

Do you know that I believed when I wrote things like – Luxury of Simple Things – that my experience would have spa items in the totes and tray, or food items after the food day I wrote about.  Do you know how boring it is to always receive cat litter, cat litter, dog food, dog food, diapers, diapers, dog food, dog food.  I thought more of my writing would be incorporated somehow.

Do you know it is impossible for me to place everything in my garage on one side?  Do you know that somethings only fit on one side?  Do you know I find it completely ridiculous to constantly correct the right side that is not valid, not now, nor has it ever been?  He should move not me.

Do you know I believed the announcement that Nights were being shut-down?  Meaning there was going to be an end to entering my home with the Privacy locks.

Why did you ruin the Bio-freeze?  I still need and want it.

It looked like a family member of Vincent Cassell that I saw on my drive to work today.  I am simply holding off on certain purchases until my next paycheck.

Yeah, I remember talking to my brother about how (I’m sorry, I am trying to write as fast as possible, I don’t know her name. The woman in GOT who…now, I forget entirely, she struggled…oh, I think is it because it was such a masculine role(?)…struggled with the perception of her femininity) Fuck you, Franco!

Do you know I remember at Home Depot and…I would say African- American gentleman, but I think I know better needing help with a drawer being put back together pulling too hard and it came apart…and, yeah, he was with an African American female?  Then, all of a sudden Cast Away shows up in my DVD collection.  I was looking for it after all that driving.  If I could I would punch Franco in his face! 

BTW, Tommy when he was Franco, shook hands, I exclaimed I hope I didn’t break your thumb, and Dave Wolfe after he hung up the phone, held his hands because he was moving them so much – were both men – I don’t believe there was any facial hair involved in that one.

Do you know how much I miss chewing gum?!  It’s bad!  I want gum back!  I want allergy-free gum back!!

Do you know what you have done to my body…to my vagina?  Do you know it feels like it is sewn up, or grown back together?  It is so revolting.  It is so dehumanizing.  The experience is so much worse than I can express in words.

The only reason I took my shoes off to get the mail is this: JB Hunt semi-truck., and the Dick’s Sporting Goods job application, and the unfairly low number.

I meant to add water to my alcohol purchase since it seems the only way to keep things from being HEAVY.

I meant to change the locks before anything arrived.  I chose to wait because my Chrome lock – one screw is becoming stripped and I did and do not want to have to replace it.

I am only one person.  I can only do so much, and the effect that all of this has on me should be looked at quickly, actions should be taken to correct things that should never have happened, that were never valid, and never an option!

LET’S GET THIS STRAIGHT RIGHT NOW!  IT IS MY OPINION THAT MATTERS MOST!  IT IS MY MIND THAT MATTERS MOST!  WITHOUT MY BRAIN, WITHOUT MY MIND NONE OF YOU WOULD BE HERE NOW! 

I AM GROSSLY UNHAPPY WITH THE LOCKS!  I AM GROSSLY UNHAPPY WITH MY WEIGHT!  I AM GROSSLY UNHAPPY WITH BEING HANDLED!  I AM GROSSLY UNHAPPY WITH BEING TREATED AS A “THING” AN ANIMAL, A BABY, A SOMETHING TO BE TAUGHT TO BEHAVE IN A CERTAIN MANNER!  BECAUSE AGAIN I SAY WITHOUT MY MIND NONE OF YOU FUCKERS WOULD BE HERE!!!!!!!!!!

I CARE NOT FOR ANY OF THIS!  I CARE NOT FOR TRYING TO BELIEVE THAT I AM ON TELEVISION, OR THE RADIO, OR IN A FILM, OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU TRY TO MAKE ME BELIEVE!  I AM SO MUCH GREATER THAN ANY OF THIS, THAN ANYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED, OR YOU WOULDN’T FUCKING BE HERE!!!!!!!

I CHOOSE!  I SAY!  I SAY WHO AND WHAT I AM!  YOUR STORY AND PLOT LINES ARE TIRED AND WORN OUT SINCE NONE OF THEM CAME FROM MY MIND!

THE WAY YOU TRY TO SUCK UP TO ME WHILE I AM AT HOME, THEN RIP ME TO SHREDS AND APART AS SOON AS I GET TO WORK AND THAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING TO ME FOR YEARS REGARDLESS OF WHERE I WORK!!!!!

I AM SO APPALLED AT THE WASTE OF MY TIME AND YEARS SPENT AT THIS!  I COULD BE LEARNING ANOTHER LANGUAGE, LEARNING TO PLAY THE PIANO, STUDYING GEOGRAPHY, PLANNING A MOVE TO LEAVE THIS PLACE, PLANNING VACATIONS, PLANNING MY LIFE INSTEAD OF CONSTANTLY CHANGING MY LOCKS, STARVING MYSELF TO KEEP MY WEIGHT WHERE I WANT IT BECAUSE I AM NEVER GOING BACK TO THE CHERITH DAVID ONCE KNEW, THROWING AWAY FOOD, THROWING AWAY CLOTHING, THROWINIG AWAY PURCHASES, WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME!!!!!!

I AM SO ASHAMED OF MY LIFE – IT IS COMPLETELY EMPTY – MY MOTHER WOULD BE SO ASHAMED OF THIS PERSON SOMEONE PERVERTED AND DRAGGED INTO THE PUBLIC.  I AM SO ASHAMED BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING LEFT ANYMORE.

THIS DELAPITADED SYSTEM OF CONTROL NEEDS TO BE REPLACED.

IT IS BEYOND STUPID, IT IS BEYOND INTERESTING, THERE IS SUCH A BETTER USE OF EVERYONE’S TIME AND ENERGY!  MINE MOST IMPORTANTLY!  BECAUSE I WILL SAY THIS OVER AND OVER WITHOIT MY MIND YOU WOULDN’T FUCKING BE HERE!

DO YOU KNOW IF IT WASN’T FOR THAT CAR CRASH, THE CONTAINER STORE WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED?!  I STILL DON’T KNOW WHY THE CRASH HAPPENED TO BEGIN WITH.

I play music on the other computer because this one is not loud enough to be heard.

Sephora –  As much as I want to wear make-up again even a little bit to look better, I will not open my Sephora package until I am certain privacy will keep people from harming my products.

F-Series – I am now uncertain about this lock.  For me the radio and everything once played in my car and on the radio no longer applies since I have shut it down!  For me, since it is my mind and my opinion that matters I understand it only to mean that family matters, families are important whether they are by birth or relationships formed so close they are like family.  They are not permitted into my home, nor are they allowed to alter products to play trick in my home.  I am simply making the statement that one cannot live entirely alone.  Everyone needs someone, everyone needs people.  Also, my family should never have been taken from me.  No one should have anyone taken from them.  No one should have their family taken from them.

BTW, no one has their vision changed overnight.  A person’s vision does not change in a day.  I want my vision corrected back!

Willis/Dr. Carter/Google play – I remember Willis point in Georgia, I remember Google play on my phone when I was at the Pilot gas station in Georgia where I then went to the Jimmy Carter museum.  I was talked out of going to the World of Coke in my head which is where I wanted to go and was headed for before someone in my head not to go there because of Joe.  I remember the paperwork from my car accident which had the name of the doctor as Dr. Carter which always seemed strange to me at the time.  I remember seeing JJ Abrams – full beard – on Google.  The connection being made was Google.

Do you know the only reason I ever liked HBO on facebook was because of the Weinsteins?  I thought they had good taste, careful in their selections, and smart politically, and strategically in their Hollywood decisions.  Of course, the new air, diaper training, dog pad training changes my opinions on everything.

 

Grand Tour – Here is a problem because I love those guys, I love that show, and Amazon was smart to acquire them.  However, I am upset with feeling tricked, manipulated, and deceived into sitting on Roy’s side at their wedding.  So, I am at a loss.  I am upset with the way things are being handled and managed.  So, I am at a loss.  Because for me in my mind – which is of course the most important or you would not be here – David is Amazon, and not Rick AKA James Franco.  So, I am at a loss.

This leaves me wishing and wanted to walk away from it all because so much of it if not all of it was never real nor ever applied.

Creggan needs to divorce Roy.  It’s not real.  It shouldn’t have happened in my opinion.  And, I can speak better than you allowed me to speak at their wedding.  I know control was used to make me appear nervous and unpolished in my speaking.  This person should never be allowed in my head, or life.  Period.

Game of Purchases – I am appalled at the abuse and over-use of my money and paycheck.  I need to stick to a budget.  Do you know why a reality show such as Amazing Race or Big Brother only shoots for a few months?  Because that is the only way it works.  How else can I possibly explain in an email to my lawyer why my food budget is so high other than to say I have a bug problem.  Since, so much of my food has to be thrown away and replaced.  It is appalling to me that this reality has taken the low road and not the high road as far as my purchases, my treatment, and all ways concerning me.  Big kid is NOT FUNNY!  The entire world is funnier than that FUCKO FRANCO!!!

Liz Earle/Apple/Neutrogena – I am tired of constantly having to change every single thing.  When something works you stick with it.  I am tired of having my opinions changed because others alter my products.  I adored Liz Earle products for their attention to detail.  The tiny seals on ALL of their products, the ingredients, the careful packaging.  I noticed it all and appreciated it.  Plus, I thought it was a superior product.  I am disgusted that my products were intercepted and the seals removed.  Plus, I am disgusted that my emails were intercepted trying to make me believe they no longer add seals and such to their products.  This type of behavior is unacceptable!!!!!!

With my first purchase of an Apple product I was in awe.  I am a loyal person.  I am a brand loyal person when a product and company are worth my time and money.  I opened my shuffle, I could not believe how much thought went into the specific and careful packaging of the product.  It felt like opening a ring box.  Plus, the ease of use makes a customer want more.  I fell in love with Apple and my shuffle that quickly.  I was specific in my choice of inscription on my shuffle.  What to do with the time that’s given.  For, I felt inspiration to apply that to my life at the time.  There was so much of my time that I was NOT allowed to do things because of taking care of my mother, so what could I do while taking care of her which is why I spent so much time watching movies and reading books.  I can write about that at another time.  However, know this what I wanted, what I was searching for are those Master class moments that simply happen.

Neutrogena – Again, a great product for the price, simple and clean.  I am sick that you have ruined it!  I want this type of behavior to stop.

The stupidity of all this being created upon my driving route, locks on my door, clothing choices, hairdo’s, etc.  It is so dumb to me given it has been going on for so many years now.

Writing and not reporting – I am sick and tired of all the time and energy I have to spend to report all the problems I have.  I could be writing.  I could be developing stories and story lines instead of having to go to the bathroom all the time, or storming off to my car, or fixing problems you’ve created in my house.

 FIX IT!!!!

CHERITH J GJESTLAND

Declassified Files: A Series of True Events Being Brought to Light

August 28, 2017

David Wolfe:

Don’t even have time to tell you I wore the green shirt under my “People ruin it for me t-shirt” in protest to the abuses and torture I suffered.  I wore the patch on my Levi’s as a way of protest and straightening the horses out.  I wore my thong sandals as a way of protest being told how and what to wear and the stupid, fucking baby business.  You, stupid fuck, Kahit!  I can’t believe you!  To me of all people!  What the hell?!  I wore the hat as a protest against my treatment too.

Got it?!

Cherith J Gjestland

Declassified Files: A Series of True Events Being Brought to Light

August 28, 2017

David Wolfe – or to whomever since I do not wish to speak to David:

Jesus Christ!  You got to be fucking kidding me!  I get time off from work, and what do I get to do?  Take a nap?  Relax?  Enjoy myself?  Nope!  I’ve been working since I got home!  Vacuum the floor, steam the carpet, vacuum again!!  Why, because you guys are fucking assholes, that’s why!!  Clean out my fucking dryer because someone came in here and FUCKED IT UP!!!

Do I get to write?  Do I get to plan anything?!  Do I get to even take a shower?!  Nope!  Because you fucking assholes fucked that up too!

That took me nearly five hours just on the bankruptcy information.

The rate is too high!

I cannot stand being told who and what I am!  I cannot stand being told what to do all the time!  I cannot stand being told how to spend my money!!!

I am so fucking pissed off!

I don’t even have the time to tell you I only went by way of Belmont b/c I was made to believe it was Tim Wolfe.  I have no idea why they do this stupid fucking shit!  None of it makes sense to me.

Or, tell you I was forced into selling my Ralph Lauren red linen shirt for a few dollars.

Fuck off! 

Cherith J Gjestland

Declassified Files: A Series of True Events Being Brought to Light

August 21, 2017

David Wolfe:

David,

I am no longer able to share or participate any longer in what I wanted to start as far as A Smile Series: Thank You, or Forever moments, or Notes From the Director.  Because of what happened to my hands I had to cease all communications.  My hands have healed since then, but my spirit is beyond repair at this point.

Understand this, I will never take the opportunity to see or communicate with you again.

Cherith J Gjestland

Declassified Files: A Series of True Events Being Brought to Light

 

August 20, 2017

David Wolfe:

Goddamn you David!

I should feel rested after the days off from work, but even when I am not punched in I am still fucking working for free!  I fucking cannot stand the goddamn projects that get fucked up around this house for me to fix!  I cannot stand the fucking lock problems.  I cannot stand the constantly entering my house to fuck things up.  It is so fucking depressing.

I will never stop asking for my life back.  I will never stop going to the stop sign!  Jesus Christ, is this supposed to go on indefinitely?!  Am I never supposed to have a life of my own ever again?!  Is that really what you think of me?!  I am such a bad and terrible person I never for the rest of my life deserve any sort of happiness or life I can share with a man I love and who loves me?!

YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! 

FUCK YOU, David!

Cherith Gjestland

 

Declassified Files: A Series of True Events Being Brought to Light

August 19, 2017

David Wolfe:

David,

Do you know I have no time to write because all I can do is scream my fucking head off at you!  You had no right to do what you did!  I am so appalled by you!

It needs to be said that I never wanted a new phone back in 2014.  My new phone with the 949 area code, I was talked into.  My internet or my computer, I don’t know which kept giving me that option, I had to keep changing it back to 813.  Because I had no idea what was going on anymore, I thought I was supposed to use that number even though it did not make sense to me why I would have a phone number in a place where I didn’t live.  Also, I was shamed and judged for not waiting and being waited on in the store.  I went to the Verizon store to try and purchase a phone – something I would never have done before – nothing in the store made sense to me because I would never have done that.  I didn’t understand how people were being waited on, the people in the store didn’t make sense to me, the grease trap in the parking lot didn’t make sense to me, I didn’t understand what the fuck was going on at least that has never changed I still don’t understand what and why you fucking people are doing this to me, so I left and ordered the phone from my computer exactly as I would have before.  They were playing football in the street outside my house.  I was constantly being told to look out the window – that is the only reason I ordered that phone.  I tried to return it.  I tried to return the football phone, but I don’t know how they did it, they deactivated my old phone.

Do you not understand that I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO TALK TO YOU EVEN TO TELL YOU ALL THE FUCKING WRONG THAT YOU HAVE DONE ME?!

All I wanted was to be able to start my life with a man who loved me and I loved in return.  All I wanted was to give love and receive love in return.

I understand you called me crazy because you didn’t want to be my friend or talk to me anymore.  How does that give you the right to deny me sharing my life with a man I could love?!

YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!

A whole year of dates and dating men that were sketchy, oddly matched, in disguise, and you wonder why I felt FORCED to have sex with Edison?!  Do you know one date I felt panicky the whole time, either because of the mind control Bluetooth or my own instinct, but all I felt was he was not being truthful.  The first words out of my mouth were not hello, but how old are you really?!  He didn’t look underage, but nothing matched up.  Do you know after the dinner with Mark, who I was not attracted to but I needed to date it was and is important to me to be seen as sexually desirable to men, even though it was a lovely dinner, I got to wear a dress, make-up, have my hair done, he gave me a rose which was nice, I couldn’t help but notice the man sitting at the bar who was paying more attention to me and I could tell he was listening?  Finally, on the drive home, I broke.  I couldn’t keep up the façade that I was unaware of being seen, that something about the date was not right, and I couldn’t figure out why this was happening to me, and I cried the whole way home.  Because it wasn’t real.  I felt nothing for Mark.  I felt bad because it made me feel like I used him for a good meal.  I just wanted to date.  Because I believe I am good enough and deserve to have a man of my own to share my life with.

I am not sure I said this correctly before, the performance I gave with Edison I felt I had to prove that I wasn’t so obsessed with you that I couldn’t find a man of my own.  I am sorry that I ever messaged you again after you basically told me to go to hell on facebook.  Now, it seems I have no choice but to address these things to you since I have no idea who else I can fucking SCREAM AND YELL at for misjudging me, and for my overall treatment in this life that is not real, nor one I want.

But, then again going back to Edison, I guess how could it not feel a bit like a performance since you were also in the room?!  Sometimes, it felt like I could almost see you because I could definitely hear you.

Having sex with Edison took me too long to figure out something was wrong.  It was just sex and nothing more.  I know the difference.  I did not need any training wheels, or education in how to date.  I believe there was a lot of mind control going on during the sex, as well as, other times.  Because I felt blinded.  I am unable to recall things and details I would normally have noticed and understood.  The sex was never satisfying.  Did you think you could continue with the “fake” dating after Edison?!  Once, I realized Edison was wearing a skin-suit, either through mind control, the Bluetooth, or my own instinct my whole entire being was filled with such shame and mortification I have never recovered.  Nor, do I have any hope of ever recovering from that occurrence. 

The humiliation has killed off a great part of me.  It has caused me to NEVER AGAIN look at you the same way – EVER!!!!!!!!!!

I still don’t have any idea why it happened other than to think you and James Franco believed I was some kind of pervert.

It never should have happened in that way, you disguising men to fake date me.  You had and have no idea the effect it would and did have on my psyche. 

Did you honestly think I could go on after that?!  Did you honestly think I could continue the same as I had before?!

If it were up to me, James Franco, Knight Electric, West Tampa glass, all of it would move out.  If it were up to me, the garage code would be taken off my neighbor’s garage and the hole in the asphalt would be filled in.

All I wanted after caring for my mother – and my family as well let’s not forget that point also – was to start my life with a man who I could love and give my love to and would love me too.  I never wanted to be a star, famous, or act, or anything anymore.  I had given that up years ago.  Because I was never any good at any of it anyway.  At my very best, I have been nothing but average.  And, that’s the truth.  The point has certainly been made well aware to me.

I don’t know why I am actually spending all this time writing.  It is one thing to write as a means of journaling, and another to write actual stories.  It takes so much more time to write, flesh out details, and form a well thought out story.  Do you know that I used to write while I went running?  It helped me to clear my mind.  Do you know I can no longer run because the of the air violators?  Because I am not allowed to leave this townhouse, or my job site? 

Do you actually think I care for James Franco whom I do not know, who has done nothing but humiliate me, who is only using me?!  Just like you are doing, David.

Do you know, how long it takes to write, clean this townhome – which for some reason takes three days to clean up after four days of working and I still do not have a set routine considering I have been working there for a year and a half.  You know what, I am sick to death of yelling at you for something you should have known better.

I miss my house.  I miss the outside spaces.  I miss the flowers and the trees, and everything I created there.  I miss my pool.  I miss my ponds.  I miss that sunroom and the view it gave.

I believe you took all my female organs from me because you thought I was a bad person, a pervert, and you want me followed and watched for the rest of my life.  All I want any more is to kill myself.  Because this is not a life worth living.  Because I will not date again after the violation of Edison.  You have sentenced me to a life of celibacy and solitude.  You have sentenced me to a life not worth living, for I am barely alive.

Do you not understand that I re-use partially used paper towels because I cannot afford it?!

Do you understand that I just don’t think like you perverted people?!  I don’t even know where it came from as far as who started all the sick, gross connections and associations.  But, it is destructive to be so juvenile.  I left childish-ness a long time ago.

Do you know that I read an article – who knows if this is really true since I believe my computer back from 2009 was probably monitored, honestly what did you expect to find – about how UCLA was giving their patients Arnica after surgery which proved to give their patients better and faster healing time from surgery.  Do you know how much less expensive Arnica is than drugs?!

David, did you know that when I went to the Busch Gardens audition I didn’t understand what was going on when I arrived?  I felt I had been duped and tricked into being unprepared for the audition.  I left only because I had been tricked so many times previously, I thought and believed people were trying to help me when I believe they were keeping me from EVERYTHING!  The drive, what went on in my head, all of it I didn’t – still don’t – understand, so I left.  I still don’t know what to make of that event.

Do you know the only reason I did not get off the bus in Las Vegas at the Grand Canyon at the first stop where there was a man in a lime-ish colored blazer was I wanted to see the other stop on the tour?  But, it wasn’t worth the time or humiliation of disembarking at the second stop.

Do you know I want to live – at least – for a time in Ireland?  And many other countries.

I just realized I am actually journaling at the moment.  From now on I am going to be more careful with what I write.  Because we are not friends.  I do not wish to talk or write any more to you than I am truly being forced to do.  

Cherith J Gjestland

Declassified Files: A Series of True Events Being Brought to Light

August 18, 2017

David Wolfe:

David,

A few other things I forgot to mention.  Back in December of 2014 after that trip that went nowhere because I never wanted to return here.  As I said before I have been trying for years to get away from you, so I never had to see you again.  In December 2014, I was told in my head and by means of looking out the window, seeing an orange motorcycle and other vehicles repeatedly that part of the purpose of all of this was in the end a man would wait and was waiting for me.  I knew it to be a lie at the time.  I had no choice but to half-heartedly play along.  I never believed it.  So, I play that stupid fucking song because I was forced to buy in and believe that lie!

I can’t remember exactly when it happened, but I am aware you have left my heart for good.  You no longer reside here, or have any place in my heart.

Cherith J Gjestland

Declassified Files: A Series Of True Events Being Brought to Light

August 17, 2017

David K. Wolfe:

You fucking asshole Kahit!

Woke up today with eyes nearly swollen shut.  Do you want to know why?  I know you could care less, somethings never change.  I fell asleep dreaming of pouring lighter fluid on myself, then setting myself on fire.  Why?  Because then my body would melt together into one charred piece and no one would be able to violate me there anymore.  Like you did, Kahit.

You had no right to do want you did.  There is no way to make it right between us again which is the whole point.  So that, I would never again believe in you, or ever want to see you again.

What I believe the point and purpose of this whole fake reality is nothing more than a suicide pool.  Betting on how long it will take for Cherith to kill herself because no one ever liked her.  Didn’t Conan O’Brien say it in my living room, America’s least favorite or most hated person – meaning me, Cherith.  I have a name.  Can you possibly imagine what that would feel like to have someone talk to you like that in your own home?  When I never asked nor wanted any of that attention?!  Nor did or do I ever want to be a star!

Do you know this whole experience has dumbed me down?!  Being trained as some sort of animal instead of simply following me around?!  Oh yeah, but wait a minute, I never wanted this to begin with!  Forcing me to go somewhere, or be somewhere, or act fucking angry and mad all the time!  Do you know how fucking sick and tired I am of having to be angry all the time?!

Do you know it took me nearly four fucking hours just to order instacart?!  And, nearly two hours just to order privacy film for my home?!  Why?!  Because this whole thing is sooooooooooooooo over-complicated!  Scrutinizing the descriptions, and wording, and pictures, and on and on and on!!!  OMFG!!  It feels like nothing more than a way to trick me!  Jesus Christ, WHY?!!!  Just so that other people can have a job?!  Because it must be someone’s job to work the internet, websites, and so forth.  Jesus, just let them go.  I have said this from the beginning, there is a much better use for all this situation (money, exposure, fuck, I don’t know what to call all of this), reality.  This stupid fucking reality!  God, I cannot stand how fucking dumb it is!!!!!!!!!!!

I used to be able to create words in my head.  I used to be able to form sentences in my head.  I used to be able to create and be creative.  You have taken it all away from me!  You fucking ASSHOLE!!!

Playing stupid food games!  Playing stupid maze games!  Playing stupid driving games!  Playing stupid copy games!  Dumb, dumb, dumb, so fucking dumb!!  Any and all of these stupid fucking games have a very limited feasibility.  Jesus Christ, what fucking moron do you have in fucking control over there?!  Some fucking CHILD?!!  Send them home without pay!  I guarantee you I could have created something better.

I’ll tell you what this is, Kahit!  This is nothing more than a show to make others feel better about themselves by ripping me apart and making me look and feel small, dumb, and stupid.

For fuck sakes, man you had the ability to create a show to highlight humanity, expansion of the human mind, love and devotion so great it sacrificed all.  You fucking MORON!!!!!!!!

Are you so small minded that you are incapable of understanding the difference between short-term gain and long-term accolades?!  Can you not understand investing and creating something unparalleled in its ability to create and evoke emotion that you would be creating something greater than a television show?!  You would be creating something that could change the world.  Because if you change people’s minds and opinions you can change the world.

You’re a fucking moron for letting them NOT have input and access to change the manner and way in which things operate, function, and are directed.

Jesus Christ, even you know I have directed things before.  Perhaps Reg was just being kind to me before, but he never changed anything I did – not blocking, direction, or notes.  I think it used to make him feel unwanted.  Because his expertise was on par with my own, or if I am being honest perhaps superior to his since I did not have a degree in theater.

I have no idea why I write to you?!  You don’t fucking help!  You don’t change things!  You don’t give me back control!

I bought the Savannah film because I thought it was pretty.  It looks like flowers in water.  I am so sick and tired and FUCKING PISSED OFF at constantly being tricked!!!!!!!!!!!  I don’t fucking think like this!  Jesus Christ Almighty!!!!  It is such an unbelievable waste of time and money that could be used for a much better cause!!!!!!  I am simply unable to get over the stupidity of it all!

You fucking knew me better!  You fucking asshole!!  I KNOW WHEN YOU LOOKED IN MY EYES TOO, YOU FELT THE SAME THING I DID!  THE WORLD STOPPED!  IT WAS JUST YOU AND I!  THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE!  YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!  YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD THEM IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A PERSON OF POOR CHARACTER, OR A PERSON CAPABLE OF A CRIMINAL ACT TO CREATE AND SHARE THAT KIND OF A MOMENT WITH YOU!!!!!  You know that’s true!  You know that’s the truth!

When I started talking to the other computer, I thought and believed it was going to Jeremy Renner which I soon discovered it was not.  I told the other computer, I need emotional support.  It is still true.  You have left me so unbelievably alone in this, it is worse than keeping a prisoner in solitary confinement.  I have no idea how you could possibly allow me emotional support since I am not allowed any contact with the rest of the world, no friends, no boyfriend, no family, nothing.

Do you know, I spend more money on booze than food as a way to cope?!  In part because YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE play tricks with my food that I am supposed to figure out INSTEAD OF JUST LEAVING IT THE FUCK ALONE!!!  Just let it be!  Just let it go!  I know how to control my own weight all on my own!  I know how to eat well!  I know what I want!  JUST FUCKING LET IT GO!  You FUCKING PRICK!!  GODDAMN YOU!  Also, as a way to deal with the fucking blue-tooth!  Do you have any idea the kind of pressure it feels like TO NEVER HAVE A MOMENT’S REST?!  Which is what this feels like!!

Plus, you have me writing these deeply personal, emotionally charged subject matter stories, and you don’t give me any fucking support or time to FUCKING RECOVER FROM IT!!  You got to be fucking kidding me!  You, stupid mother-fucker!

Yeah, I remember you telling me the definition of MILTF.  You had to tell me because I just don’t think like that.  I remember you could barely speak the words.

Wasn’t that you, David at Cypress Point park on my lunch break dressed as an old man with a bicycle with the Google glass?!

If it were up to me I would start with a fresh slate.  I would start with a fresh slate of characters as the whole premise feels thought up by some child, juvenile, teen-ager.

I know the stories I write are not perfect in their grammar.  I will always need an editor.

Here is something else I told the other computer, since my current router fucking yells at me all the time I thought the Norton router would be a good idea.  However, since then it was posted in the bathroom about the purchase of a router which made me re-think the idea.  I cannot tell you how dumb it is to have my purchases judged, scrutinized, and turned into something it is not nor could EVER be.

I wanted to write about what I saw at work when I looked at someone.  However, because of the Bluetooth I am not even sure it’s real anymore.  When, I looked at him I saw the laughter.  I saw a picture in a picture of years of families, and generations of laughter, and genuine good-heartedness.  It brought tears to my eyes to see such beauty and beautiful people.  Even as a homeless person in Las Vegas telling the police officer, are you serious – Jenny McCarthy.  Melissa McCarthy pretending to be Tammy Hoskins on the phone while I was driving and again when I worked at Home Depot looking for plastic shelves.  Both of those memories are meaningless and unimportant to me.  Nothing compares to what I am able to see in people.  But, I am not even sure that was real.  Yet, it was still a most beautiful picture to see the laughter in love.

I cannot stand the constant returning and reporting of problems!!  It is so fucking dumb, dumb, dumb.  It is so fucking juvenile!  It is a stupid waste of time and money.

I am so sick of you, right now!

I want nothing more to do with you!

Cherith J Gjestland

Declassified Files: A Series of True Events Being Brought to Light

August 16, 2017

David Wolfe:

David,

If you want me to write more I am going to need more money and time.  I cannot write if I have nothing to eat.  I cannot take off time from work if I do not have enough money and supplies.

Do you know I cannot stand daylight anymore?  Being outside during the daytime is too bright anymore.  It is painful.

Can I tell you I remember walking out of the liquor store at Winn-Dixie and watching walk away from me?

Can I tell you the reason I remove the Kleenex from the hand towels at work is because of what happened to my hands?  If it were up to me I would not move or remove anything because I find it childish and dumb to play such a game.

Can I tell you how much I despise the graffiti work on my granite counter tops?

Can I tell you how much I despise being locked into these numbers and descriptions on websites?!  It leaves me with no variety, not does it truly give me the ability to choose what I want.

More than anything David, this life you have forced me to live is just not worth living.

I would rather shove a knife into my cunt until I am dead than continue living in this way.

This will never change anymore – I never want to ever see you again.  I wish I had never met you.

Cherith J Gjestland