October 26, 2019: READ: WARNING: FBI: Brianna

October 26, 2019



That is a pretty accurate profile picture of how Brianna sees me in her mind, as a grossly overweight singer.  If that is the same person, I’ve been having to deal with all day today with the constant brain pushing of shoving food into my face, if this is Brianna, you have a real problem on your hands.

That’s a real psychotic problem.

Is she responsible for my hysterectomy?  If so, she needs real help.  I am not certain at this moment, if she is able to receive help.

She just doesn’t listen.

She’ll look like she is paying attention, she’ll probably agree, yet her mind, in her mind, she is plotting.

That’s a real problem.

Be real careful, it looks as though she is real close to being, off the charts.

October 26, 2019: READ: WARNING: Ban Impeachment News Stories

October 26, 2019


That’s a cautious look.  Do you think this man is really Russian?  Or British?

The Vietnam priest is not a bad thing.  It’s a man who is now thinking.  Thinking abut religion and his beliefs.

I’ll explain.  It just doesn’t live in my heart.  I have many men to thank for that.  I have many good people I’ve known to thank for that.  When I write I have many men to thank for that, these are men who saw me in my mother’s womb and made me family.

Yes, the body being thrown off the roof in the movie, 13 Hours, with Jack Silva’s character turning towards the camera, dry heaving, nearly vomiting at the sight of the desecration of a dead body of someone who was just living only moments ago, is a real read of not just me, lots of other men who have worked with me, it is a very real emotional response, yet, the dialogue, now is not the time, is also a real read of me.

Some people might think I am in shock.

These are all allegations at the moment.  It would be wise for all persons to take responsibility for their actions.  I did not give either Brianna or Courtney the means to be able to hurt, harm my family – or be involved in my life, in any way.

None of these women and persons, like Edison, should have ever been involved in my daily life.  .

I really do not like any other persons impersonating my real brother or my real father either on the phone with me, through emails, or in person.

Be aware, my brother grew up like a string bean.  Skinny, straight up and down.  Like a string bean.  He wasn’t gaunt, he was just thin.  He is in so many family photographs in California and Oregon, thin, like a string bean.  It’s what they call it.

Listen up world, you should all be paying attention to this impeachment news story, and every news story involving impeachments of the President of the United States, why?  What the fuck are they really doing?

It’s a cover story.  It’s classic.  It’s a classic (that’s being nice), and typical ploy.  Divert the public’s attention this way, and they won’t be looking where the real problem is.

Yes, that does suggest, what they just showed me, Brianna is one of the people responsible for wiring another household’s electric bill to our house and address in Plant City.  Probably just to be vindictive, not knowing our house was also being used for intelligence, like the CIA.  Therefore, she, along with everyone else would be responsible for holding up funds and work orders destined and meant for Washington, DC.

There is more than one flaw in using my houses in such a way to understand intelligence and get work orders to Washington, DC.  I will remind you; they follow me.  If it is known that persons follow me, why would you not be paying attention to the things, I want in my home.  Instead of the other way around.  Like my garden, walkways, paths, and so on.

David is here every day with me.  He isn’t going away.  Personally, I think he would be better in person than through, I don’t know what to call this?  Talking through walls?

David is not to blame, for Brianna and Courtney.  It doesn’t look like it.  However, you have Brianna and Courtney both looking like, I’m not as bad as Brianna, I’m not as bad as Courtney, each about the other.

Do I really have to wear the same t-shirts every day – just to have boundaries?!  Why else do you think I am over and over again repeating myself with no to this person, no to this, no to that?  Why am I the only one able to place boundaries upon people?

This Englishman also isn’t going anywhere either.

Yes, that is the drug that was given to me on election night, 2012.

Heart internal bleeding.  I saw this from someone’s mind the other night.  Boyfriend, possibly you could explain or figure out what it is supposed to mean.  I saw the wall or valve of a heart – bursting.  Inside someone’s body.  It appears it is a means to create a death that will appear from natural causes when it is chemically induced.

Could someone please explain to me why everyone around here is acting like they are all on high alert?  Like a known person is within our borders?

Boyfriend could you please explain to me why I have a boulder in my belly?

Also, it does suggest that this FBI man believes he is being blamed for things that are not his fault, like my weight gain that happened from last year, 2018.  It suggests he believes Brianna and possibly, Edison are to blame for the massive weight, not him.  And, that another female person is to blame for weight gain on me when I moved to Plant City.

Boyfriend why is someone trying to put me to sleep already?!

Other FBI man, I have no idea why I’ve been “taught” to drive only one direction in my own neighborhood, and also, why I am only supposed to drive down the middle of the road, just because there are lines on the asphalt from where there used to be visitor parking places.  I don’t think they have a real or logical explanation for it.

This is just a detail, I really don’t think it is very useful; however, the best gift Michael ever gave me was a plant.  It happened to be a zebra plant.  It thought it was so neat.  David tried to give me the bear, I am not sure he knew at the time, why it was supposed to be a bear.

October 25, 2019: READ: WARNING: Riding My Bike

October 25, 2019



Yes, that was the same, if not similar feeling I had that something big was going to happen when I emailed David, I was selling our home and wanted to move to California, when my mother’s stroke happened in 2005.

This should surprise, and shock him, this man who lives in a multi-million-dollar home.  I used to ride my bicycle around Walden Lake.  I like bike riding, its fast.  The wind cools you as you go and riding your bicycle outside is not the same and riding a stationary bike just like running outside in the fresh air is not the same as running on a treadmill.

I used to ride my bicycle around Walden Lake.  It is probably why there is a lake scene(s) in the movie, Enemy of The State.  There are bike and trail paths that meander and wind up and down Timberlane drive.  Timberlane, Timberline Lodge, one would almost think they purposefully named the road Timberlane just to get me to live there, in Plant City, in Walden Lake.  Dyslexic (?).

One afternoon (Good afternoon, my name’s Russell, UP), I took my bike to the lake, and was aware, very quickly, I had a tail.  I mean a tail, another person on a bicycle, following me, and I mean on my back tire like they were only inches from me.  Uh…I ain’t slowing down.

It’s what it read like, it’s what most other people would have done, stopped, let the other person pass, or perhaps this person wants or wanted to talk.  Some people will truly be able to understand that sentence – alone.

No, I didn’t stop.

No, I am not stopping.

No, I went faster.  And, I kept going faster from my home to where the entrance to the park at Walden Lake is, to nearly half-way around the lake, I kept going faster because this guy behind me, was on my ass.  Finally, when I reached about half-way around the lake, it stopped.  I looked behind me.  He was gone.  So, I stopped.

It’s in the movie at the beginning of the movie The Bourne Legacy, as me the director of the CIA, telling this man, you’ve got a real problem.  Looks like I’ve saved his life, more than once.  Please don’t tell me his house is not – brick.

Since, let ‘em come, 13 Hours, and so many other references to my home are made in movies, let me tell you how this man’s house – reads, it’s also seen in me and read from me, in another movie, I forget the name of it, I believed Hugh Jackman had been the lead, it’s about a kidnapping of his daughter, and his daughter dies, there is a tree in this film in from of his home, I believe there was a van in the scene also, it’s in the tree, there is something in the film really of him in the tree, it’s not complimentary.

His house reads, as a scream.  Want to know why?  Nothing ever changed.  The façade never changed, the trees, landscaping never changed, there was never any life around, no people, ever inside, outside, walking to and from cars, never Christmas lights, never decorations, never anything, or any sign of life – ever.  Uh, something’s wrong, then.  Is it a house, or is it a front?  Look too inconspicuous, and then you do look conspicuous.

Kevin on the roof in UP, that’s me, placing Christmas lights all over our house.  I had a star of Bethlehem in a tree in our front yard, with reindeer.

And yes, it really was beyond my comprehension that people were not only out to get my house, attempting to kill my brother, and REPEATEDLY killing and attacking my mother, over and over again.  I mean, for chrissake, I was working for Disney.  Disney.  It’s not like I was working as a receptionist for anything else that would read as, watch your fucking back because if you work for us, people will try and kill you.

Unfortunately, the threats, none of them, none of the strokes on my mother, my mother’s car accident, with the exception of some involvement in my brother’s car accident, none of them – none of them – look, foreign.  That’s really sick.

Do you believe in God, from Angels and Demons, I have always found this scene, and this line of dialogue alone, unusual.  As though the writer, author himself, placed himself, in the scene.  It says, the author does believe, almost obviously, in God, yet he questions and wonders, why does God allow such atrocities to happen, to such wonderful people?

Is this conscience, deliberate, or happen-stance?  Do you believe in God code, do you, BIG.  Big meaning first, the store Big Lots.  This is a shoe purchase, I made in the early nineties, they are seen on Emily’s character in Crazy, Stupid, Love, in the parent-teacher conference scene.    A shoe purchase near Big Lots at a store that was affiliated with Sam’s Club, Bud’s.  Sam’s brother.

Emily’s character is dressed, casually, yet stylish, chic, it’s close to resembling me.  I wore these shoes with a car-wash skirt (it really is the term and name for it, probably why Creggan had a gift card that I used for a car wash in Plant City), to the formerly-named, Pleasure Island, at Downtown Disney, in Orlando, someone saw me walking from our car to the entrance.

Do you, Big, also references the movie, Big.  It also references, do I like large men, fat men, and also, why is Cherith so overweight.

Real or not?

No, I ain’t slowing down, I ain’t stopping, and this goes together, most likely, with the movie, The Peacemaker.  That bomb, that this FBI man is seen as escaping the bridge and truck being blowing up scene in The Peacemaker, that’s me, resigning from working at Dillard’s.  So, what actually happened once I left?

Let me explain, I don’t have a favorite – chocolate.  Other than I prefer dark chocolate to milk chocolate, and milk chocolate to white chocolate.  There will be few people who will read this, as it is in my head.

Dark chocolate, if all you look at are the ingredients, dark chocolate has less ingredients, it is less tainted, more authentic, or pure.  Also, it reads, I am a connoisseur, or truthfully, if there is another word that means something greater, or finer, than a connoisseur, that’s me.  Exceptionally rare (Aladdin).

Michael used to say this all the time, I never believed Michael, or anything he did as very smart, or intelligent, champagne taste, Dr. Pepper pocketbook, about me.  I was way too good, for Michael, and it was such a waste of my talent, allowing Michael to happen.  That is my mother dying and that is also me, seen in the actress dying on the houseboat in the movie, Munich.

I don’t know how actresses are able to do nude scenes.  It’s a really difficult scene for me to watch.

You’ve been reading it wrong, the only reason Avner’s character smells perfume in the hallway before he discovers the dead body of Carl, this is meant for me to tell this other FBI man, it’s a warning.  A death threat.  A warning, for him.

I do not have a favorite chocolate; this goes together with my mother’s favorite chocolates were dark covered orange peels.  This is a brain memory I have of my mother and me at the Godiva store in Brandon mall.  It would be why one of my trainers at Disney “used to” be the manager at the Godiva store in Brandon.

Here is my brain memory, while my mother and I were at Godiva there is a transaction taking place, not because of me or for me, it is connected to the loading dock at Dillard’s, a transaction taking place in the office of the jewelry’s store sort of to my six to eight o’ clocks, behind me.  It goes together for the reasons there were trucks in the movie, The Peacemaker, and they have nothing to do with nuclear warheads.

You’ll need a compass.  At the loading dock at Dillard’s.  It requires a compass, so there are coordinates still to be found.  It is still active and present.

I would have to watch the movie, again.

I did not work the loading dock at Dillard’s.  There were only certain people who unloaded the trucks, placing those items from boxes or cartons (Zohan) to racks that were wheeled out onto the sales floor.

There is also significance to the store manager incinerating (compactor) inventory when an inventory or audit was being done of the store.  It could just reference Dachau, in connection to whatever else was going on at the loading dock.

There is a hidden meaning in the conversation at The Container Store about something in her files, being a problem.  It goes back to at time when I worked at Hilton and was asked to assist the secretary of (I forget her correct title) the head of the site with filing paperwork.  This goes together with the back breakroom that was added after I was employed there, and it is in the glass, a wall of glass, that was filtered, so you could not see out, yet allowed the light in the room.  It goes together with a real magazine company in London, and I’ve been in the office before.  It’s seen in the scene in The Bourne Identity with the man crashing through the windows in Jason Bourne’s Paris apartment (details).

One reason my boyfriend is seen in Sherlock as, it won’t affect the little ones, meaning Cherith will still be able to have children, and Hugh Laurie being in Home Depot when I was there means, the real Hannibal Lecter, my boyfriend will be able to help and solve these medical, seemingly, “natural causes of medical conditions”, mysteries, or death threats, or kills, and medical messaging.  It’s probably why Hugh Laurie was cast in the television show, House.

My boyfriend will probably be able to read this best, I used to have severe occurrences of vertigo, or extreme dizziness.  Movement of my head, and all of a sudden, I could not move.  I would have to lie down, close my eyes, hold my head, often for as long as fifteen minutes or a half an hour before it would go away.

My mother had me go to our chiropractor for it.  My chiropractor looked at me, at my face, first, as though she was checking to see if I was demon-possessed, obviously not.  She asked me what I ate, was eating.  What I remember was eating macaroni and cheese, the instant kind, it’s only about 300 calories, and that means diet food, if you read it correctly.  After telling her, the vertigo stopped.

It looks like, this FBI man, or someone working thereabouts, probably female, not getting inaudible responses from me when they attempted, took revenge, or took it out on me.  This is somewhere between the years of 2000 to 2005, before my mother’s first permanently damaging stroke.

A detail that could be of interest or important, is I misspelled Halloween at a spelling bee in my classroom in West Gresham Grade school in Gresham, Oregon.  At the time it felt like, did I really misspell that word?  I remember looking to my right of the classroom, so someone else was there, somehow.

Also, the movie poster for Point Break, over the shoulder to the left – that’s me, in Germany, in Dachau.  The kill is at my three o’clock, the crematorium is at my six, my mother is at my nine, with the museum, mostly at my twelve.

Don’t get it confused.

Disney dining plan with wine.  This was for me, when I was working there.  Meaning, there were people using the Disney dining plan with wine as a message, and I truthfully, could not sell it very well.  I did not have much reference to it since every time I went to the Parks, I went with my mother.  No, I didn’t drink any alcohol while I was caring for my mother, such as in public, or very much at all.  Very rarely.  To me, it is about the same as drinking on the job while in a hospital as a nurse.

No, I don’t do that.

Again, “Nicole” who was always in the same “community” (their terminology) as me as long as I worked there before 2009, sold multiple platinum packages – a day.  I never once, as long as I worked there, ever sold a platinum package.  Not ever.

It’s about the equivalent to ordering Carte Blanche at the theme parks and Resorts, or a personal Black American Express card.  It’s suspicious.  That’s a lot of money.

The restaurant bombing scene in Zero Dark Thirty is my real kitchen in my Plant City home.  Social, code, so, CAL, Crazy, Stupid, Love, this means this other FBI is probably the only other man or person with information that is still needed.

The brown-haired actress pours the wine, incorrectly.  Is this done on purpose?  Was this direction from the director to the actress on purpose?  It has always bothered me.

This other FBI man will want to know this detail also, I had to start writing down every single reservation number of packages I sold or were on hold while working at Disney.  In a review, at the beginning of my employment, they would give a report of such and such numbers that were how much I sold or made money for the company, and I had no way, whatsoever, to confirm their numbers.  It felt – made-up.

If anyone had access to overhead camera’s they would be able to see my notepad, and numbers, and numbers of other reservations.

Also, this looks truly gruesome, this is what it looks like while I was working at Disney, there were top people aware my mother was suffering from a stroke, they had – no joke – several, multiple, top-level people, brain-speaking to me about, in so many words, I needed to stay employed, stay working, stop listening to the voice inside my head alerting me to, danger, danger, danger, danger, problem, problems, danger, danger.

This is what I felt like while taking phone calls, knowing my mother being unresponsive to my emails, was in trouble, it felt like – you’re a bad employee if you leave before the end your shift.

That is truly gruesome, manipulation.  It’s unspeakable.

If this is in any way true, what would the purpose, the logical purpose be of not assisting my mother to get emergency medical help while suffering from a stroke?  These are the roadblocks, or traffic as seen before the restaurant bombing scene in Zero Dark Thirty.

What could possibly be the logic?

There is none.

This goes together with a person that may or may not be still alive, from my employment before 9/11.  Standing, sitting, watching the planes crash over and over again into The World Trade Center, doesn’t make sense.  I also, should have known, is what it feels like.  Something, a clue, a hint, something, and there’s – nothing.

It means they were in the building with me, almost all of my employment at Hilton.  And that means, they were working against the United States government.

It’s in the scene in Sherlock with the dog episode, Sherlock in an upper booth, talking and manipulating Watson’s emotions.  It reads, be real careful because it is NOT Patel, another person of unscrupulous means, for money, manipulating phone calls and data while I was employed.  For money, Zero Dark Thirty.

Also, for money, in Zero Dark Thirty, is also referencing this man, in his multi-million-dollar home.

I think, the real reason they shut the power off to the whole neighborhood, so I would remember the night, and being the one who got them the information and location of Osama Bin Laden, it reads, people were aware, that neighbors were manipulating – data.  Like our electric bill.  Our electric bill was way too expensive for a house our size.

Some months it was nearly five, get it, five hundred dollars.  That doesn’t add up for a house of our square footage.  It just doesn’t.  So, what else were they manipulating?  That is close to extortion.

Probably, the only reason?  As a means to financially cripple my family, so intelligence could not use my family to get work orders to – Washington, DC.  That’s subversion.

I have no idea why they started towing vehicles from along side the drive or road here in front of my current house.  It makes no sense.  A vehicle pulled over to the side, in front of houses, are not blocking traffic.  If a house has a visitor and the driveway is in use, it only makes sense for the visitor to park in front of the home it is visiting.

The towing of vehicles because they are not parked in visitor parking places, truthfully, to me, just says it’s a means and a scam to procure money, for the towing company.  Nothing more.  There is absolutely no intelligence to it, whatsoever.  Or, any other real communications.  Just like a lot of “other” occurrences here involving the HOA, and former friends speaking to me.

I won’t love him less.  David.  I won’t necessarily love him more, but I won’t love him less.

Tea towels at the Polo House.  This is for the bike-riding man, he will probably be surprised, and you will still get intel from it.  That is the name of the house in Walden Lake, it is called the Polo House.

The City of Plant City had a Christmas tour of homes, I forget the year.  It was a purchase.  We paid money to tour the homes, my mother and I went.  One of the houses was the Polo House.  One bathroom had wood sinks.  Wood sinks?!  How does a person care for a wooden sink?  I thought that was an interesting choice.

However, the towels in the Master bathroom, on the towel rack…um, what?!  Blaringly in my face.  They weren’t hand towels, or bath towels, or wash cloths, they were tea towels that were so worn out they were close to being rags.

Do you really want to tell me that the owners of a multi-million-dollar home dry their hands after using the toilet, with those towels?!

To me it says, someone believed I would understand and believe I was meant to go out and buy new towels.  Because some of the towels in our home were as old as our Simi Valley, California home from 1978.  I didn’t.

He should be able to tell you why I made the correct decision.  About not purchasing new towels.

It says, don’t touch, cowboys.  It looks like allegiance, if you use it wisely.

Somebody lost their mind, a little bit.  Meaning, they took offense for me because my reaction to Courtney being responsible for my mother’s execution and murder, was too controlled, meaning, I earned respect, immediately.  For him.

Boyfriend, these young men are glad they have a purpose.  People don’t let it go to their heads.  They are still young of mind.

And, this other mother, that my boyfriend wanted to have communications with, this other Christian mother, singer, and woman; he wants her to know, he really likes her, and it doesn’t matter to him what she looks like.  That is for her to know, from him, a murder, the real Hannibal Lecter, my boyfriend.


Family fears news story is false.

Yes, my Apple shuffle was stolen from this house, my brother replaced it with another as a birthday present.  Mine had the inscription, what to do with the time given.  He’s inscription says, Happy Birthday.

Also, after Edison, summer 2014, one afternoon attempting to go to the grocery store, a man stole my Coach (Eric) wallet from my purse, so I could not purchase my groceries.  I had to go home without food, to discover my wallet on my dresser.

It says, he (Edison) would never have been able to get near me, without help.  Be careful.  I am Keyser-fucking-Soze, I have real allegiances of real criminals behind bars who are not bothered by committing more crimes.  Don’t be stupid.

Drug mule cat gets caught is a real and true story.

What you just showed me up my nose is that Courtney enjoys the killing, killings, manipulation, and will do it – again.  At present, non-rehabitable.

This photo of the colonial shows that Vietnam war generals, military men were hatching, hacking, wounding, hacking to death our POW’s.  It goes together with the scene in Spy Games of the sniper, in real life, it was a kill, by way of me, of a real Vietnamese general (probably) responsible for torturing our POW’s.

This also goes together with the reporter of the Guardian being shot in the head in the movie, The Bourne Legacy, that goes together with my mother driving our family van in California, in a shopping mall parking lot, before seatbelts were required by law to be worn, and the dent my head made in the dashboard, as my mother had to brake suddenly, probably because someone was trying to leave too quickly after having been spotted by me as a child, and that goes together with the eyeball scene in Point Break, and Fried Green Tomatoes with the young woman stealing Evelyn’s parking place.

Also, I’ve spent a lot of money over the years on every one of my vehicles for – brakes.  It goes together, Eric, with this dialogue, from 13 Hours, he’s trying to rip me off, and my white Mitsubishi Galant, and vehicle work done on the car including, a brake job.

US girl wins her case story is, false.

African fashion models are, trouble.

Eric is right, he is correct about Courtney.

Trump critic news story is ok, and that means the man not in the photo.

Humble judge is ok, and that means the man not in the photo.

Yeah, I wore my no black sir t-shirt to protect Kanye West, and I don’t have to explain the reason – why.  Got it?!

The sunglasses scene in Zero Dark Thirty of the CIA bombing, does suggest that Michael and this man in LA that used me for intel at the restaurant, worked together when I lived with Michael.  No, I did not approve either of them.

Dreaming of making food for men last night, I made a recipe of a graham cracker crust, a portion of pumpkin pie on top, then dipped in dark chocolate, cooled, served bite size, or a slightly bigger than a bite size.  Does that sound good to anyone?

Also, what about – pumpkin balls?  Pumpkin pie, melon ball sized covered in a sweet batter, deep fried, sprinkled with powered sugar?  Does that sound good?

Too bad I have no men in this house, to feed.

October 24, 2019: READ: WARNING: Edison, FBI

October 24, 2019



Whatever they gave me man, it feels like two different events.  The sort of stroke from the two Spanish girls, and my mother’s last stroke.

It does confirm with what was shown to me today Edison is responsible for my mother’s last stroke, and he did know he was going to cause harm.  He was not simply following orders without knowledge, he knew.

That also shows, Courtney has a history of erratic or odd behavior from her childhood to present.  She is a multiple offender, and she is not going to stop.

Edison, as I have said and written for years, is of huge concern.  It will take years to stop, prevent, and undo all the things he has done and had access to all these years.

There is something wrong in the Drake food.  Had I ordered it you would have found out what it was after the damage had been done.  There is something wrong in it, I saw it the other day.

I am extremely unwell, woozy, difficult to concentrate, having trouble staying awake, and difficult to think.  This is what they gave me in the – air.

October 24, 2019: READ: WARNING: Courtney

October 24, 2019


With what they just showed me, people believe that Courtney is responsible for my mother’s death, execution, murder, and killing.  If this is in anyway true, she needs and must confess immediately before any more time goes on.

Every person involved in her nursing home care must confess immediately.

If this is then any way true, she then went on television, laughed and joked with people as though she had done nothing wrong, for years.

I am at a loss for words.

October 24, 2019: READ: WARNING: Hunger Strike: Day 11

October 24, 2019



Yep, that’s him alright.  That’s a real man they brought for me to read, and it is the same man as is seen in Zero Dark Thirty in Maya’s dialogue, I don’t really care if your men get sleep or not.  That Maya is not me, Cherith Gjestland, Weapons.

That Maya is seen watching me, struggling to care for my mother all day, all night, literally so tired I could not make it under the covers in my own bed, sleeping with all my clothes still on, and doing it every day, over and over, again.

So be real careful, desperate for my attention, Sherlock, not a good thing.  Including a consultant criminal in Sherlock with desperate, means – no joke – real United States intelligence officials, officers, agents, person – will be doing jail time when it is discovered – how they mismanaged – me.

And it is about fucking time!

Let me explain to you what this looks like to anyone of any real intelligence: if an op, an operation, a mission, a military operation, operation, is successful, especially if it is so successful, not a single man is injured and returned home, safely – make certain you remember, Zero Dark Thirty, combat interpreter, go back to your homes, they will KILL you, that’s me, from MY home, in Plant City, if it is real from the movie, at all – if it is so successful, it could be considered nearly impossible to not only have been completed, but been successful, if you then do something so stupid as to implode from within, such as, ending friendships, terminating employments, giving information to persons so they send physical harm to another, like causing strokes, or financially disable the very means that GOT AND GAVE the information, that you would never have been able to do on your own – IT’S WEAK. 




Let me explain it again, every US intelligence agency and US military and its allies should be able with conviction and determination be able to stand, and say, if American’s are harmed, killed, or murdered, you are not only not welcome, you are not coming back.

If you cause harm, kill or murder American’s it is not a survivable situation.

If you did not pull the trigger, but gave the orders to cause harm, or murders of American’s, be advised, THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS I’M HERE, THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS WHO I AM.

It’s very devious, David and Courtney, devious.  Most likely, you’re the director of the CIA, act like it (The Bourne movies), is more than just me.  I would never allow a director of the CIA or other intelligence agency to allow themselves, by their action plans, to appear, not only to American’s, to every country and nation around the world – AS WEAK!

Let me explain it again, it is like a self-fulling prophesy.  Either the person is aware of it, or they are not, meaning sub-conscientiously corrupting their own work and data because as it is in Zero Dark Thirty, they don’t believe in it, enough.

Have you ever slept with your eyes open?  Some people will know what this feels like, I, for most of the years I took care of my mother, 2009 to 2012, I sat in the chair next to her bed, and slept with my eyes – open.  That’s more than tired.

It’s comparative to being in battle or war for all those years I took care of my mother.

Probably the very reason former President George W. Bush used in his speeches, things like, crossing the line, it is possible I could have given better speech advice because it does look like they read my determined spirit and person, was to take a harder, or stronger stance on diplomatic relations.  And, there is nothing wrong in that.

We are the United States of America, I have no idea why anyone wants or wishes to appear as though WE ARE ASKING PERMISSION – TO BE A GOVERNMENT!  FREE AND INDEPENDENT.

Don’t tell me that they manipulated the purchase of this home, on purpose?!  For the front porch, alone?!  So, that other people could figure out, what they were not classified to know, how the United States killed Bin Laden.  It’s very unwise, and unscrupulous.

My front porch was my front porch, and not to be shared.  Stop giving credit to others for the work, I’ve done.

The proof of that is how they had me driving around, Painted Turtles drive or road, as if looking at the townhomes there with their own private porch would in anyway, access my brain, to remember.

I believe they purposefully sabotaged the purchase of this home, so they could wire the entire house for cameras.  Not for my protection, not for my safety.  And, its perverse.  They already had me monitored and watched when I lived in Plant City from the outside, every day.

It shows intent to cause harm, with the intentions of death to me, Cherith.

I am on a mission; it shouldn’t take more than two months to lose ten or fifteen pounds.  It shouldn’t be taking this long.  It feels like the only reason it is taking me so long to lose weight, to protect and spare someone else’s – feelings, at the expense of my own.

It’s the same thing all over, again.

If you have people either currently, or previously been involved and its been discovered they have a chemical dependency, or mental health problems they are dealing with – they MUST do that on their own.

Using me like a crutch, is not to their advantage.

Let me explain, because I wrote that an author had a preoccupation with death, they created and manipulated the virtual reality around me by placing upon me a profile (most likely) of a person who was more than preoccupied with death.

Do you know what you dumb-dumbs look like?  You look like because Cherith was able to accurately read a person who is not alive, and dead, you were not creating a means within which I could therefore give more details, or be more descriptive about her person, you look like you were trying – yet again, to kill me.

I am aware, are not all of you, that we do not live in the same times as Victorian writers.  Guess what?  A lot of advancements like sanitation have taken care of a lot of problems that could be used, been a factor, in creating something like a preoccupation with death.

It does make a difference.  It does have an effect upon a person’s ability – sanitation.

She wanted to know why her mother died, the author, she wanted to know why so many women died giving birth, in those times.

It was also the mind-set of the medical profession, I believe, at the time.  Just accept your malady and succumb to it.

I place no judgement upon Bronte for the age at which she died.

I’ve written similar health problems that have since been resolved in modern times with sanitation regarding, Melville.  Herman Melville.

They’re using reporters as proxies.  Are reporters’ soldiers?  Do they go into combat and fight?  Do they go into foreign lands and do anything else other than report on the actions taking place?

Stop getting it confused.  I know the difference and they know the difference.  They report, and I know.  And, no, I am NOT putting their lives at stake, for a story, or a news report.

You dumb-asses purposefully place threats on people for the only reason that it looks like, you have no idea what you are doing, or what else to do.

Shouldn’t reporters, just be reporting?

Are you really going to allow yourselves to look as though any person, regardless of their employment, such as a reporter, to be connected in any other manner?  I really don’t appreciate you allowing myself, and others to appear simple-minded, ding-dong dumb, and without intelligence.

What did they think was going to happen after Libya with the use and creation of Edison other than to incite people?

I am at a loss as to why people allowed my mother to die and didn’t tell me about it for years.

I am not going to apologize to anyone for making it appear, what I do, as so simple, so easy, so un-stressful – anyone could do it.

None of you have asked me what I want.  What I want to do.  Do I want David, or whatever his name is, around?  Do I ever want to talk to him, again?  No.  Do I want this FBI man?  No.  Do I want Edison?  No.

You’re still pushing your own agendas.

Just do it, or else!  While someone else gets the credit, and income, for the work and intelligence, I’ve given them.

I am not really interested in writing about a known person, that never believed in me, or believed that I would be able to figure any of this out.  Shame.  Shame on them.

Don’t tell me you did something so stupid as to use David, so I would touch him, covered in black skin, at Home Depot, saying we’ve met, to discover my mother had already died, and have a woman back up and say, so not a leader, wondering if I would see the code as, so not LA.

David is not the love of my life, nor is this FBI man.  And I can no longer trust this FBI man if he used Edison as a proxy, and because I believe he has been responsible for the years of 2014 to 2019.

No, I really would have preferred to have never been abused by Michael.  No, this LA man who used me in California in 1989, I really don’t want to work with anymore.  He does not have my approval.  Nor does the FBI man, nor does David.

It’s never going to happen, David.  It will never be real between us, ever.  Never again, they will never allow it.  They all prefer to see me dead, then to see me in love with a real man.  Including, my boyfriend.  I mean flesh to flesh without cameras, without script, and everything you’ve done in this building.

It will never happen.

This is for the other FBI man, since it seems he is the only FBI truly doing any real work.

That real estate agent in Tuscaloosa, Alabama took us to lunch, mother, brother, and me at a local fast-food, taco drive-thru.  It tells me, he was aware he was being photographed with us in the car.  There might still be photos, or not (detail, could be useful).

My mother was aware there was a USPS problem in the nineties, she got a PO Box in Valrico, Florida because of it, then in Sydney, Florida.  All our bills went to those addresses because of the mailpersons.  She knew and had knows things were suspicious, not right, not correct, and people were willing to watch her die, for their jobs and careers.  True.

These two events took place in the very early morning hours, I believe, during my Hilton employment years.

One was a car crash in front of me.  The car in front of me was stopped at a flashing light inter-section at MLK and Forbes.  The car on MLK, turned off its lights before the intersection, something Michael used to do, when the vehicle turned off its lights, the car in front of me entered the intersection and a crash occurred.

I did not stop.  I did not call either.  Immediately.  There was a gas station in front of the accident.  I should feel bad about that, yet I don’t.  I did not stop or call.

The day after Thanksgiving, the morning after Thanksgiving, on my drive to work, same route, there was a group of people, 3, 4, 5, that appeared to have been walking home, from a neighbor’s house, of celebrating and drinking into the night.  That one, bothered me.

Also, no one has been asking me to read people.  Just remember.  It is difficult for me to tell if either were supposed to be something for me to share with someone, like law enforcement, or just something for me to – remember.

It’s a big difference.

They both look like, remember.

How disappointing.

Cherith is the game-changer, Crazy, Stupid, Love, game-changer, Cherith Gjestland, and none of you have proven yourselves to be worthy.  Every one of you have done nothing, but harm and hurt me.  None of you have proven yourselves to be providers or protectors.  And, I am no longer in college.

Allow me, to flick your face, Sherlock, AM.


October 23, 2019: READ: WARNING: Hunger Strike: Day 10

October 23, 2019



He’ll want to know this, this Englishman, will want to know.  Confirming the product purchase of my order for Osama Bin Laden, so the orders could be sent to Washington DC, goes back to my mother.  In downtown Plant City, there is an Historic district with buildings that us, Americans would consider – old.

Remember we, as Americans, do not have the same presence of history about us, as the Europeans, or British.  Buildings that have been destroyed in wars and rebuilt.  We, America – don’t have that here.

I mention that because it is…it has an effect on a person, persons, on their mind, and brain, they carry it with them, it is in their thoughts, it is ever-present although, they might not ever speak about the atrocities of war, they’ve lived through, seen, heard, and – survived.

It could at times be considered, adolescent of mind in respect to other persons, cultures, nations, countries, and – governments.  An unappreciation for their history, as well as, ours.

Unappreciation is the best word for it, and I will not apologize, or reconsider this word choice, it very much represents a part of who I am, and if anyone has ever, or will speak about this word in reference to me, well – I had it first.  The rest of you, have – followed.

The buildings in Downton Plant City, Florida, do have names attached to them, on plaques, most of them, names of citizens, names of Plant City citizens that would or could be considered go-to persons if the city was ever in crisis, or peril, or needed advice, be considered a leader; mostly these persons, what these persons in any town or city, do – they create a presence, it is similar to creating a border.

And, I do really enjoy and quite like, the quaint-ness of little towns, historic districts, our past living in the present day on the facades of buildings, like an old friend.  Just as much as I like and enjoy the hustle and bustle of big cities, fast-moving, sleek, and modern, full of all sorts of fun and things that cannot be found in a little town.

There used to be an antique store, if it is still an antique store, it has changed names, now.  An antique store, Frenchman’s Market, that had a small restaurant or café in the middle, toward the back of the store.  How unusual.  A restaurant in an antique store.  Yes, I still remember it.

My mother took me for lunch one day, could have been a Saturday, for no particular reason.  She asked me if I wanted, coffee.  She, being a tea-drinker, and never coffee, ever, it was a gesture.  She made a gesture to me.  Yes, I’ll have coffee.

They served my brewed coffee in an antique cup and saucer.  I thought it was very special.  I love that stuff.  I never get enough of that stuff.  Coffee in an antique teacup and saucer.

It wasn’t the best coffee I ever had, but I did, make a memory of it, in my mind.

The coffee is not the most interesting item I had for my meal.  This, this, is the real item, the real, thought-connector, and the real catalyst I ordered – vegetarian nachos (Zohan).

Coffee and vegetarian nachos probably do not sound like the best combination, yet it was more of a brunch than lunch.

Vegetarian nachos, with Morningstar meat-less crumbles, it was on the menu.

I used to buy all sorts of Morningstar products, my favorite, their breakfast sandwich, I am no longer allowed to have, buy, or get access to.  You people have been doing it wrong, something is successful, and you immediately close it down, stores – going-out-of-business (Zohan), end friendships, make me find new jobs, and so on.

The whole country knows you’re here, 12 Strong, do you really think the country they are referring to is Afghanistan?  I was seventeen years old, in Germany, the whole country knew I was there, and they were – excited.  Excited, (elated, Frozen) to have me.  Why, I have no idea, I am just Cherith.

Let me explain, as it appears things have been moving too fast, for too long, and the details that really smart, bright minds, understand without having to show their work, in an instant, to take into stride (Frozen, in the music, Snowman) that immense amount of work, at the high level it was, not entry-level beginner stuff, take into stride, with ease and unaffected naturalness, does not happen very often (Mulan).

MY mother would have paid for the meal with her American Express card, probably, Optima.

What a lot of fuss you people have made – over nothing, really important.

I’m the motherfucker that found this place, Zero Dark Thirty, reads, I’m the (Cherith), motherfucker, is my real father.  It means my real father probably gave real classified information, passed it onto to someone else, someone else he spoke to, by repeating something I would have said.  Something like a word, that would seem meaningless, unless you had access to the other classified information.

I am not sure my father will remember what he spoke, it has to do with the pressure washer we, or my father, borrowed (a cup of sugar, UP) from our next-door neighbor, and our deck, in the back yard.  The pressure washer – broke.  Stopped working.  I was using it on our deck and it broke.

I told my father to take it back to him because I did not like him that much and did not like or want to speak to him more than necessary.

He’s a bit of a fixer-upper (Frozen) code, He’s, SH, (Sherlock), a bit, (bridle for a horse), of a (Alabama), fixer-upper (fuck you) means or suggests that people were aware that there was a plot and scheme to stop and prevent Cherith from getting married, dating, or being seen with men, just to hurt me, or worse.  And, you are all still doing it.

It doesn’t have to be a snowman (Frozen), with the lyrics in the keyhole, is not what you think it is.  In Gresham, Oregon, I put sparklers in the lock on the door of our vehicle because I did not like holding onto the sparklers, while lit.  When I went to remove the sparlers before they burned to the end, I burned my hands.  It’s just a detail, and not that important.

It goes together with neighbors of my brother’s in Tuscaloosa, Alabama telling me as, my mother asked me to visit with them, some kids set off fireworks in a garage.  It’s just a detail.

That goes together with, I wish you would tell me why (Frozen), this German man trying to get all the details, of what went wrong.  And, this Germany man, this German man, is a really, a no pressure kind of guy and man.

Elated or gassy (Frozen) says, egg.  How do New Zealander’s pronounce the word, egg?  Really uninteresting to me.

Okay, bye (Frozen) reads, Obi-Wan-Kenobi, meaning being able to see the unseen.

As I have not really watched the Fixer-Upper scene in Frozen yet, it is actually, really disturbing.  It’s not what you think it is.

Creggan, I never liked the real-estate agent that sold you your home in Tuscaloosa.

Scene: at a table in the real-estate agent’s office, me on one side of the table, the real-estate agent opposite me, my brother at the end of the table, or head.  It is seen in the movie, The Lovely Bones, with the dollhouse (my mother had a dollhouse, in our Plant City home, on the plant shelf, above the kitchen cabinets, and there was an electrical outlet) scene, and the police officer.  I am the police officer.  My brother is placed as the murderer, or Stanley Tucci’s character.

Do you want to know why?

This real-estate agent would not have known this, someone altered his clothing.  It is also, in the, I am Sherlocked scene in Sherlock, there is something in their clothing that cannot be detected by seeing.  A person who is able to see the unseen are the only people who would be able to know, or do, brain work.  I am not the only one.

It is in his shirt and pants.  It is why I wanted to snarl at him all the time.  It was my reaction to him.

At the time, I could not believe how my brother was able to speak and manage speaking to this real-estate agent.

What was in his shirt and pants, is mostly, classified.  It is not just crime scenes.  It’s intel and information.  I found it difficult to speak to him.

The first house he showed us, me, my brother, and my mother, in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, was more than a fixer-upper, and my mother was furious, that they would present my brother with such a house.

It was meant for me, Creggan, not you.

That house, that first house, that fixer-upper, goes together with the garage-style building in Gresham, Oregon that was used to lure children, and its connection to the Salmon murders in The Lovely Bones.

The reason this dental assistant repeatedly talked about her husband renovating their kitchen?  They had placed crime scene evidence of one of these children, Salmon murders, in – an upper cabinet, in the kitchen.

That is not the most gruesome part, the gruesome part of that home – was all over the – walls.

As a matter of national security, a crime that is in the past, has already been committed, cannot be undone.  And, the criminal, did not survive.  I look to the future, not the past.  As a matter of national security.

It’s gruesome because I actually see it, and I actually feel it.  I actually see the suffering, hurt, harm, the agony of these victims, and they were children.  It’s really, gross.

And, some people, were again, trying to get me and my family out of Florida because it was killing my mother.

This is a detail, there is a photograph of my mother and a male Spanish exchange student that was visiting with my mother in our home in Plant City, Florida, I took the photograph.

There is an iced tea glass in the photo, and the poster on the wall, I purchased at the Hobby Lobby in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.  I had been pondering this purchase at the same Jo-Ann fabrics store that I was looking for archival boxes to store my mother’s wedding dress bodice in 2012.

Elsa’s dress in Frozen, Let It Go, is very similar to the same color of my archival boxes I purchased at The Container Store.

Why my mother was attacked with a something that looked similar to a stroke, yet not a stroke while working at Disney, and it was allowed to happen, I do not understand.

Another detail that could be of interest to someone, I purchased a white terry-cloth robe, at a store in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.

I am greatly upset, as I have been for the last several days, or since being fired.

I do not appreciate someone stealing my Private Property, No Trespassing sign.

I am so angered at having to call the Sheriff’s department for the last two nights, I have turned off all news reporting agencies and networks.

David, I hope you and your new girlfriend are happy together, leave me alone.  I don’t love you like that.  Not for a long time.  Break my heart so many times, its human nature, to protect yourself against – such a threat and pain.

Harry, I don’t love you.  Leave me alone.

Englishman, I don’t love you.

FBI man, I don’t love you.  Leave me alone.

Other FBI man, I don’t know you to love you.

You are all confusing work, with a real relationship, and love.

As soon as I formed an attachment to my boyfriend, you all tried to take it and him away from me.

Why the real Hannibal Lecter hurt me with PID, I have no idea.  I did nothing wrong.

FBI, you let the real Hannibal Lecter, get to me.  And, hurt me.  Physically.  Then, you let him hurt me, emotionally.

No wonder, I don’t want to work with you, or any of you.  Any intelligence.  And, now, that includes, the military.

So, all of you, have done nothing, but hurt me, and hurt me, and hurt me.  How else am I supposed to feel?

Why this was brought to me yesterday, I do not know.  Someone wants me to believe that former President Carter understands why they used the pilot to guide me to the Carter museum in Georgia, in 2014.  Believing I have the makings of a Politian.  However, they should have let me – choose.  Because their predicting of the outcome has not proven to be the best.  And, they’ll never know now, what benefit could have happened had I gone to the Coca-Cola location in Atlanta, Georgia.  Real or not this is what was brought to me, yesterday.

Too angry to cry.  Too hurt to let you do it, again.

October 22, 2019: READ: WARNING: Hunger Strike: Day 9

October 22, 2019



I have an excellent memory.  True.

I am more than super angry.  I am more than angry about the prank call to the Sheriff’s department here at my home because of my door.

Super.  Angry.

I have the right, meaning, not to my right, I have the mind and brain ability to determine – my own body.

Super.  Angry.

I asked and wrote for restraining orders about people and persons, and you have not done so.

You dare question me, Ammar?  Zero Dark Thirty, you are still questioning me?!  And, Dan, is this other FBI man, not the David/FBI man combination.

Yeah, I have the fucking nerve, I have the fucking balls, I have the absolute fucking WILL to tell you, I KNOW BETTER!


But you lost her.  Really dumb.  Super.  Angry.

You lost me, by NOT following my orders.  You, all of you, every one of you here around, in the news, on television, celebrities, are NOT WILLING TO FOLLOW ME AS A PERSON AND A WOMAN!

Let’s be certain everyone is aware, the only reason the Washington Post is mentioned in Zero Dark Thirty is because I was in New Zealand, I took a photograph of a tiny bird, on a post.  A bird that flew down to me, as if to say, we’re all talking about you, we heard Cherith was here, a little Cinderell-y.  Some people will know and understand what that is, what that is like, and some will not.

Probably the same reason, they’re all cowed, Zero Dark Thirty, I took another photograph of cows in a field that was next to the store that I took another photograph of me and an angora white rabbit, a rabbit that was bigger than two of my cats combined, these cows were all facing the other direction from me.  I spoke to them, and every single one of them, turned their heads to face me.  Not just one, all of them.  I took a photograph.

American you need a history lesson, Zero Dark Thirty, Zero Coca-Cola, in war times, in Europe, food was being rationed, and lots, if not most people, lived off of tea and not much else – food.

Today, most of us have no idea, no comprehension of what it was like to live through war times and being rationed.  And, having to change our lives from what it was before the war(s).

Now days, our military goes off to war, to fight in wars, or missions, in other places of the world, and we, who are not in the military, go about our daily life without it affecting us at all.  Perhaps all of us, have been too cavalier with respect to our military and what our men and woman go through – for all of us.

The wealthy Libyan family, 13 Hours, goes together with Zero Dark Thirty, about not being interesting in the neighborhood.  My subdivision in Plant City, Florida, has different areas, each with its own name, all falling under the subdivision of Walden Lake.  There are homes in Walden Lake, worth millions of dollars.  Multi-million-dollar homes.  One section had its own entrance – gate, coded.

If you’re only job is keeping us alive, were dead men for sure, 12 Strong, goes together with if your only job is to maintain you job as a career, you’ve just sent military men and intelligence men – to their graves!  I didn’t.  Because I WOULDN’T!

I am so disgusted by you people.  I am so disgusted by the prank at my door.  Disgusted.

Should I call the Sheriff’s office every time, I have people slamming doors outside my home?  Or, car alarms?  Or, horn honking?  Or, slamming garbage bins?!  All these things they have used to communicate with me?!

Super.  Angry.

I order people away.  And you people are not following my orders, and then you have the NERVE to write news stories about female empowerment – AND NONE OF YOU ARE FOLLOWING – ME!

I am supper pissed Eric team.  Did you like that?  Did you like getting punched in the face?!  Did you like me slamming your head into the ground?  Do you think you’re the first?!  Because I’ve vanquished more men than you have ever seen on a battlefield!  I guess, that’s why they allow you to work for me.  And not the other way around.

Whatever it was they brokered with the weight of my body, is a surrender to me.  I am unwilling to allow myself to surrender under such terms.  You are mistaken.  I have not seen anyone as good at this – as I am.

A very serious mistake has been made.