Rachel,
You are no longer a friend of mine, and you know why. I would never do to you what you have done to me and the things you have done to me.
I am guessing that when we met at work it was not by accident. It seems someone is very protective of brother.
I have a picture of you and I taken at the back break room. I wore a navy dress with a pink cameo and pearl necklace, and a great smile as I glowed. It was my birthday, I wanted to look nice when I went to school later in the day. I think there was pizza with black olives back there.
My smile had nothing to do with you, or me, or my birthday – I was going to see David. It was a feeling that could not be contained, concealed, there was no way for me to disguise it. I went to Kazbor’s with David and friends that night for my birthday. It was one of the last real birthday parties I’ve had as lame as it was. More than twenty years ago.
I guess you got the job at Progressive in 2012 because I applied for it and never got hired. Just like Alisha getting hired at Macy’s because I applied for the job in 2012. Just like I am still denied access to real employment. And, last time I checked President Obama is no longer in office.
I believe I understand in some part why you never invited me to your home.
However, you were a friend, I believed. A friend I travelled with. A friend that I cheered for and encouraged to pursue promotions at our job. A friend I encouraged because that is the kind of person am. I would have had your back if someone made fun of you, or put you down because I am THAT kind of person.
How many times since moving here did you ask me if I wanted to take up acting, and mysteries, and so forth. My answer was always the same – NO! I was and still am middle-aged, I have spent my life entirely alone. I wanted to finally have a man in my life – that was what I wanted more than anything. Because a life without love is meaningless.
After my surgery – that never needed to happen – you visited me in this house. I have no idea what you said during the visit. To me you spoke like you were on speed – not like I would know. I have just now understood how easy it is for those in hospitals, nursing homes, and even in your own home to be taken advantage of – for you took advantage of me. At the most you should have only stayed for a half an hour. I was delirious. I was not on pain medication, but I was in so much pain I couldn’t even ask you to leave when I wanted to scream to get you out of my house. I was in so much pain I couldn’t move let alone think. I was falling asleep in front of you. It was clear I was not enjoying the visit and you continued to stay. I am making this point for a reason.
You took me to that stupid bar in Sarasota where you introduced me to a puny man called Ben. The whole time I felt like his mother encouraging him to be a better person. In a million years, or if he was the last man on the planet I would and am NOT ATTRACTED TO THAT MAN!!!!!!!
I have no idea why I am being punished with this imprisonment which you have been a part of, Rachel.
I will say this, you crossed the line at Krav Maga. Perhaps it was not your choice, but you could have said no. You crossed the line and I do not need to say anymore about it. I wanted to learn self-defense because I wanted to travel – alone.
You worked for Cox and Kings, right?! Also, not true. I guess that is why you had a secondary Facebook account because I had one at one time. I did nothing wrong. I did nothing improper. I simply wanted to be prepared for what was going on in the world. I wanted to make sure I did it right, so that I didn’t hurt David’s feelings again. I think it is a very difficult relationship for people to understand.
There is no longer a way back for he and I, but if you think for one minute that I am going to deny David for a set of tits, you got to be kidding me.
I will not deny him not just for me, I won’t deny him so that others might have the possibility of knowing what something fantastic really could be. Even, if I will never know that again. It is something I’ve learned over the last several years. Just look at my face. It is not the face of someone who enjoys or is happy with their life, or what they are doing.
I remember when you fell down the stairs as we were all loaded into the car to go to a soccer game. I felt so bad for you, I started laughing. It was a painful, uncontrollable laugh, and I tried. Perhaps that was also, not true your fall might not have been an accident.
You will see, I have to actually stay alive in order for everything to continue since it seems I am never allowed to have my life back. I hope it was worth it to you. I know you would not visit me at my funeral.
Who knows who you really are.
What I know is you are not a friend to me.
We are not friends.
WE - DO NOT AGREE! 