This kitchen I have does not function. It has no pantry that can hold anything more than a few things. It is not designed with the ease of use. There are odd corners, barely any storage, and not enough counter space. Not to mention the lack of privacy.
I dream in food and of food anymore.
I miss my house. I miss the house I spent twenty plus years in for a few reasons. My brother said he was going to retire in that house. My brother loves Florida, and has wanted to remain in Florida. I am of a different opinion. However, because my brother always said he wanted to retire in that I house I spent money on that house I never would have otherwise. If it was going to remain in the family then, it was an investment I could live with. Over the years, I probably spent more than $20,000. on improvements to that house. There was a sunroom in the back that had windows on three sides, so when watching television you never felt shut out from the rest of the world. You could take a moment to watch the birds, or the squirrels, the scenery was always in view. There were skylights in that house. There were windows all around, so there was light, and a view in every room, I had a fireplace, and a pool, built-in shelving in the pantry, hallway, bedrooms, and garage. There was an attic that was accessible.
I had trees. I planted a birch tree, and an almond tree. We had a camphor tree, a grapefruit tree, a mandarin orange tree, a lemon, a kumquat, a loquat tree. We had creeping fig, a root beer plant, and a dragon fruit plant. Azalea’s all around, so there were colorful blooms nearly year round. Plumbago, a china doll tree, juniper, crepe myrtle, creeping peanut, day lilies, gardenia’s, jasmine, pineapple, oak trees, an Angel’s trumpet plant, a dogwood tree, and a Golden Rain Tree.
We had multiple ponds with Koi fish. One pond had a creek that trickled into a waterfall falling into another pond with a swing to sit by. There were clusters of trees that we designed each section be different, so each one felt like an outdoor room with a bench or swing to sit.
Tons of wood decking to walk, or place chairs, and a built-in bench to sit.
We had honeysuckle – which is delicious to eat, gladioli, night-blooming cactus that we used to give people cuttings of because all you had to do was stick in the ground and it grew, so many different bulbs I can’t remember all the names and they were always a surprise when they would emerge from the ground.
I had birdhouses, and bird feeders, and birdbaths to be viewed by a window from inside the house. So, there were endless blue jays or scrub jays, cardinals, morning doves, mockingbirds, titmice, squirrels, and finches. I got to see a Mr. and a Mrs. Painted Bunting one winter which was the most beautiful sight I nearly screamed and dropped what I was holding in my hands.
I miss that house. Mostly because I thought I needed to start a new life from that home, but this is not worth living. It was not worth giving up what I invested especially since my brother always said he wanted to retire in that house. It sat on a cul-de-sac higher than the other streets.
I miss my Thursday and Tuesday. I miss my Fuzzy-One-Kenobi, my Pumpkin pie, my Senor Fluffy Pants, my Lambchop Legs, he was my Thursday. I miss Tuesday, Too-Too, Princess Too-Too. They were not fat cats to me, they were my cats. I stroller trained them, I leash trained them. I feel I have been lied to, tricked and manipulated. It is still more than a year and a half later and it is still hurtful and painful. I have a Maurice The Handsome, a Lambert The Good, a Murphy The Magnificent, but I should still have my other two cats. If only there was a man in my life half as good as some of the animals I’ve known.
It is beyond depression living with such loss.
So, I dream in food to stave the depression and thoughts of suicide.
I want breakfast for dinner, scrambled eggs and bacon, toast with butter and fresh jam, strawberry jam, blueberry jam, blackberry jam, orange marmalade, lemon curd, apple butter, honey butter, honey butter with cinnamon, omelets filled with vegetables and cheese, salsa or hot sauce or top, or fresh sliced tomatoes, pancakes with butter and syrup, french toast with sausage, swedish pancakes plain or with peanut butter and syrup, or filled with fruit, veggie-sausage and biscuits with gravy, fresh scones with currants or any other fruit made with cold butter so they have the right consistency, all served with fresh fruit, fresh brewed coffee or hot tea with sugar and cream – a must.
I make the best Dagwood sandwiches with potato chips in them piled high and not anything you find in a restaraunt.
I make the best salads with everything in them but the kitchen sink. Lettuce, tomato, chick peas, cucumber, sprouts, cottage cheese, sunflower seeds, sesame crunchy sticks, red onions, peas, bean salad, served with fresh crusty bread you can either have with butter, or olive oil and spices. And white wine.
I make the best desserts. Chewy Gingersnaps are my favorite to eat, they are not like the hard taste-less gingersnaps you buy in a box at the store. Mine actually have flavor. Lemon criss-cross cookies with raisins and a sugar crust, Molasses cookies, Super cookies that have everything butterscotch morsels, M&M’s, etc., Nanaimo bars, What cake, Blackberry cobbler with ice cream or fresh whipped cream, sweet cherry pie, cheesecake, blueberry pie, all with fresh whipped cream, pumpkin pie with eggnog, pecan pie, puffed-wheat squares, but everyone loves my rice krispies treat for some reason. I make the rice krispies squares and a Christmas wreath made with corn flakes and green food coloring. Every gathering I have ever brought them to one person in the group will eventually hoard the dish to themselves. One person told me they had green poop following their indulgence. I don’t know why people go crazy for it other than I don’t follow the recipe exactly, I use my nose until it smells the way I want it to.
I love baking bread. I enjoy kneading the dough. It’s a certain kind of pleasure and stress reliever in kneading dough. Dill bread is one of my favorite recipes it is a little hearty and less crusty. It is so good with Welsh rarebit, sprouts, fresh sliced tomato and salt and paper. You eat it with a knife and fork. It is delicious. Serve it with beer.
I love Thanksgiving dinner. One year I splurged and bought an Organic turkey – it cost about a weeks groceries, but the flavor was different from anything before.
Colcannon with cabbage and rutabaga. Yum. Mint peas, curried peas, creamed onions, honey carrots are some of my favorites.
Swedish meatballs with dill sauce and green beans. Yum.
Plus, it is a must to serve with meals pickled beets, cocktail onions, and olives to add to your plate.
I dream of a simple meal of fresh green salad dressed with a light oil sprinkled with salt and pepper, and topped with shaved parmesan. A crusty bread to dip. Olives of all sorts, cuts of cheeses, some drizzled with honey. And white wine to be followed by red wine served at an outdoor table, and talking the night away.
I have a feeling I am going to be sharing more food stories.
But, I want it to be said – I know this is out of context – I am not a fan of actors, or films, or television. I am an appreciator, and this is a huge difference. And, BTW chickens are male and female. All birds are male and female.
