Declassified Files: True Events Being Brought to Light

I still miss my cats Tuesday and Thursday.  The loss of my mother is beyond words, so much so that I have had to put it aside so that I cannot access it.  But, to lose my innocent cats…beyond grief.

2/22/2016

Today was not an all clear day.

Yesterday was bad, bad, bad.

I had to forced myself to get out of bed this morning.  It was so bad I could not open the blinds for anything.

Work was so bad – a kind of hell I can’t describe.

I feel trapped.

I feel trapped by that car.

I feel trapped in that car.

I feel trapped in this life where people can electro-shock me and worse on their whim.

When I worked at Disney before I felt I made a difference.  I believed I actually helped people and connected with people not just with their resort vacation packages and planning, but I got to speak to people as people and get to know them.  My current experience with Disney is so disturbing, disgusting, wrong, so unnatural, so bad, so perverse it is the exact opposite of Disney what I believe about Walt Disney World.  Instead of being a business that I believed in it has become nothing more than fast passes and forcing junk food on me or going out to eat and spending money – activities which are not a part of who I am.

I used to feel freedom when I drove – now it is depressing just to think about it.

Coming home to a piss-stained house is a tipping point.

My life is so bad and terrible I don’t want to be alive anymore.

I don’t want any more lime in my life.