Cotton Batting

I want and need to wrap cotton batting around my head.

How can we break Cherith’s brain today?

This is what I endure every day.

You cannot see the damage that was done to me, to my head and brain last Tuesday.  However, as my blinds attest this is a slow recovery from the damage done last Tuesday.

As I was finally able to stop from the list of “chores” and “homework”, I am still hurting.

How would you be able to handle and manage if your every day life was filled with an unending procession of people with the intent to break your brain?

The best way I can describe it is this: I was in a decompression chamber, so I would not get the bends when someone cracked the glass allowing air to escape.

They created pressure within my brain, then watched and did nothing.

They are too rough on me.

It is not a matter of me being tough, strong, or firm.  They are too rough on me.  It is a brain after all not a car engine, not a piece a metal, not a storyline to recreate.  It is my brain.

I know events took place last Monday.  I am aware of all the persons and puzzle pieces painted that went into the events.  However, I am unwilling to half-ass the account.  As always.

When brain damage has been created it works throughout your whole body.  As all injuries are not a single occurrence.

Mind and body connection.

I need to say and write it again – I will never love him.

I will never love any of them.

I may have fucked them, but I will never love them – ever.

Each of them fucked up.  They cannot take it back.  They have never tried to apologize or make it better.

So, until I feel myself healthy, strong, and able – not sweating abnormally, no soggy crotch, I will not share how fast my brain works and paint the picture you cannot see.

It is a shame – you would be so amazed at how I see people.