Looking at my Lambert this morning, he is still a skinny kid on the street begging for food.
If you have ever been poor, if you have ever been really poor, gone without food for days – it never really leaves you.
Thinking that if I waited until morning to write this I would have cooled down. That is not what has happened.
I want another job.
I am fucking pissed.
I want another job.
I want another job.
I want another job.
I want another job.
I want another job.
I want another job.
I want another job.
See, if my posts change any time soon. This is all you will see here anymore.
The events of last night mean nothing to me after placing my job in jeopardy. It is ALWAYS how I see, it is known, I have written about it since the first time it happened.
I was told to make a purchase, now I am penalized for it?!
Do you think I am going to sign up for the blood drive now?
Do you think I am going to buy toilet paper now?
Do you think I am going to buy a t-shirt now?
Whose money is it anyway?!
I have a right to decide what purchases I want to buy!
This man I saw on the side of the road. This man that comforted me. We are through. You will have to win me back. It will NEVER be virtually.
I have said and written and written and said since this started back in 2013 – IT WILL NEVER BE VIRTUALLY.
Follow this thinking – I have faith. I believe in God. I DO NOT have a sexual or physical relationship with him.
It is a huge fucking difference.
A physical relationship – is physical.
They played Justin Bieber on my tablet when I arrived home – BJ = blow job. I am not impressed. I am beyond not happy.
Worlds happen for me in less than a moment and you expect a paragraph of a few words to be sufficient?!
I am fucking pissed.
CARE = CA = California, ER = emergency room. Because I was born in California to two white parents, my mother and father – Not a black woman. Not an African-American woman. I know my own parents. I am 46 years old, I do not wear diapers, I am not a baby. I am more than mad.
You can take my name, my first name and my last name, they equal sixteen letters. It is the first password at The Container Store.
You can take my first, middle, and last name, they equal twenty-two letters. Somehow, I am supposed to believe this means after my Tuesday. I called her Tu-Tu. 22. Tuesday had the killer instinct. Thursday wanted to show me animals he found.
Thursday used to catch tree frogs from inside the garage, put them in his mouth without harming it, mewing to me the whole way, plop it on the floor, as if to say, look, see what I found. Most times the frogs survived Thursday playing with it. Putting his boo-boo paw on top of the frog, proud and satisfied that he had done a good thing.
I am not impressed.
What are my ex-neighbor’s doing in the building?!
What are my ex’s doing in the building?!
Forget the wax-man, I will not be writing that story.
Forget any of the men and people who have inspired me to write, I will not be writing any of those stories.
I am at a creative stop-hold.
I will not now nor ever watch a movie and change my attire!
I will not now nor ever watch a movie or listen to a song and believe it is about me!
I will not begin to describe what they do to my beauty products. They do so that no man will find me sexually desirable.
I want another job!
I feel like nothing more than a sex slave!
I want another job!
There is no reason why I cannot have a job that can pay me enough money that I can live. I am making the same pay rate I made when I was eighteen years old! 28 years later I am still making the same wage?!
There is no reason for that!
I want another job!
Yeah, I have zero tolerance. I will not apologize for that.
Zero tolerance. Proven. Take away your mind tricks, I still have zero tolerance. PROVEN!
I will remind you, my blinds being closed – not a good sign. Not all clear.
If I go a day without writing – not a good sign. Not all clear.
Creating more work, more problems, more barriers for me to work around?! NOT ALL CLEAR!
What a terrible way to manage when things are not working just keep pushing work, pushing work, more work, more work, more work, more work, and expect the same result?!
I will remind you, a person cannot marry themselves?!
A person cannot marry a car?!
A person cannot marry a tire?!
I will never again believe this marriage lie!
I have simply NOT BEEN ALLOWED TO MEET MEN!
Love, emotions, they cannot exist in a vacuum.
You cannot have a love story with multiple men pretending to be one man!
IT WILL NEVER BE A WOMAN!
I have a right to decide who I want in my bed!
This is like telling a gay person that they are only allowed to sleep with straight people. It is the equivalent.
I will remind you, since I have said and written these multiple times – nothing that has happened in my bed has ever made it to my heart.
You believe me simple and dumb. I am not. It will NEVER happen virtually!
I am done, done, done, done done, with that man on the side of the road. He will have to win me back. Although, I will never believe it, I know what I look like.
Since, I have been followed since I was a teen-ager it is known that I will always – let a man go. So, do not be surprised. They set it up this way. They staged “romance” that was never real, so there could be a break-up that is also not real.
Whose lame-ass idea was it to make me sick?! So, you could have a contest to see what medicine I would buy?!
I am not a game!
My heart and mind are not a toy, a game, or a contest!
I want another job.
I reserve the right to be angry and upset about being made fun of, ridiculed, mocked, laughed at, and seen as simple and dumb in the press.
You cannot force a story to be written. You have no right to demand or require it of me at my paying job. You cannot demand or force someone to write – FOR FREE!
This is what they expect of me, work a 10-hour shift, drive an hour each way there. A 12-hour shift that I only get paid for 10. Then, go home and write for 5 or 6 hours for free, and want for nothing else in your life. This life has been going on since 2012. Six years going on seven, I have a right to want something different.
I want another job.
I will not apologize for deleting the apps and not reading the news because of it. It is not the same in any way as reading news stories, hearing gossip and being able to dismiss it. Because these news stories have an effect on my personal life, my bank account, and my mind.
I will not apologize for it.
I will not apologize for my language or use of the f-word.
I want another job.
MAGA – Make America Great Again. I cannot believe someone thought this through or was a good idea. Do you have any idea what it implies?! MAGA?! So, America has somehow fallen on hard times. This picture that is created with this slogan is that America is a lame and crippled country trying to get back on its feet rather than a great country capable of great work throughout the world.
Rather than creating a picture of America being the country that EVERY country in the rest of the world – NEEDS. I will say and write no more.
I will remind you my name is NOT America.
I have said this for months and months, the numbers are too high!
I will not go and stress over the numbers – THAT ARE NOT REAL!
There is no reason WHATSOEVER I should have to worry about my job! Let me get another job then!
What is with the cock-watching anyways?! I do not have to look at a man’s crotch when I can look at him and have no question about his equipment.
I am fucking pissed!
I want another job.
I want another job.
I want another job.
I want another job.
I want another job.
I want another job.
I want another job.
I want another job!
I want another job!
I want another job!
I want another job!
I want another job!
I want another job!
I want another job!
WE - DO NOT AGREE! 