Every morning when I go to make coffee, there is Lambert talking and talking. Still the skinny boy begging for food on the street. Lambert lives off of love. Truly what he lives for is love and to be loved.
He and I are not that different. The only difference being I have gone my whole life without being loved. I have only been able to give love. I have yet to receive love. My whole life.
I want my life back. Virtual partners, virtual boyfriends, virtual is not living. Virtual never works. Not in the capacity that I have had to endure.
Dies = side
In all the writing I did in the last few days that is basically demanded of me and not of my own desire what I get in return is more demanding.
Seven feet tall? I wish my vision had been better. Something has to give way when so much is demanded everything is not possible or the world would be a different place. It is as if those in charge how no understanding that time exists and takes – time. It is not a video game.
Seven feet tall? He was exceptionally tall. As I was driving they were trying to make me laugh, I said no. Why I had been thinking about Cirque du Soleil in Orlando, and the strong man, I have no idea. He was my favorite. I have no idea why. I used to just watch him. The movement. How does someone come up with such a character? There must be something else to him. Had I known my brain and what it was capable of I might have had better understanding. He is not an obvious choice for a favorite. Then, he went away and was replaced with another man who was not the same for me.
I believe he is Russian. The strong man that I thought was so interesting to watch.
If you do not see the connection it is because I watched Stargate where reading and writing were not allowed, and I had not yet written about Cirque or the strong man.
They want me to write about Tuesday, she loved Bear. Tuesday used to let Babee Bear bathe her like a mother cat would do. It was somewhat difficult to watch at times. Tuesday loved Bear, almost devoted to Bear. Must have been a protector and provider kind of thing, or simply because he had so much person about him.
Babe Bear was my cat. He was entirely devoted to me. Walking the perimeter of our house chasing other cats off his property.
Because Bear was so important to me Thursday made sure he was friends with Bear too, he also loved Bear. Bear was always patient with these two younger kittens. Even though he was in a great deal of pain. It was not just in his walk, I could see his pain.
Bear was not the most photogenic, I think because he was looking at me and not the camera. Thursday knew the camera was ok. He said its fine, take a picture. He was my brightness.
Not every person has a human animal bond experience and until you have you will never truly appreciate it and its loss.
I am not interested in giving attention to those I believe are unworthy of my time and attention. I will not write about either of them.
Full Sail University = FSU = Florida State University believes they are doing something clever, I find it dangerous and unwise. I will write no more.
Taliban = IT, AL, Alabama, al – Ladysmith Black Mambazo, Paul Simon, ban = denied access.
I miss writing in food. I am too heavy. No desire for food.
If you have missed it two men are out of my mind, heart, and life for me.
Problems have consequences. Men who allow problems and consequences of no merit – Someone has to be held responsible for what happens to me. When all that I do is what is asked of me and I am too sick and disheartened to continue writing the rest of the sentence.
The brown-eyed man on the side of the road, it is final for me. I cannot pretend anymore.
The wax-man, it is the same. I am tired of being lied to and mind games that were not real.
What is the point of these people if I can see without them? You chose wrong. It will never be sports.
Did I or did I not see Marcel Marceau? That is a relative of his? Did I not see that? Or did you?
You must confess and admit my vision far exceeds what you think is vision.
People do not look to a television program to tell you the truth of the reality. It is only entertainment.
He, Marceau wanted to entertain and have a conversation at the table. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. Because that would be entertaining and interesting.
I want my life back.
WE - DO NOT AGREE! 