Still, unbelievably upset.
I am so tired, I must be dehydrated.
To clarify the reason, I heard President Trump give a specific number was a way of speaking through actors. James Franco being brown-haired, brown-eyed. They want me to believe in that man by the side of the road. I cannot anymore.
I cannot when I have been so deceived.
It appears to me what has happened was not actual events taking place in real time rather more like a video being displayed and shown in my head. Otherwise, what was the point of making me so terribly ill and sick that lasted so many days? If not to incapacitate or influence my brain and mind.
My desire for food has left me entirely. Therefore, I am not really living anymore. This was done purposefully. Because I was writing to men. Although not every writing was just to men, nonetheless, I was writing to men.
I have been segregated from the human population since before 2012. I have been denied male companionship and male relationships since 2012. Of course, my whole being, and body is in such need and want I cannot put the feeling and emotion into words.
There is no reason I should be separated or segregated from the entire human population and male relationships. None. It is immoral.
I will not apologize for deleting apps or devices or games that used me to control my purchases and freedom of choice.
Every day I go to work to be yelled at, made fun of, laughed at, put-down, made to feel less than, treated as though my life is meaningless while being denied human relationships, my animals, and male relationships.
I do not have a choice.
You do.
Life is meant to be enjoyed. No, I do not want to hurry up. I want to enjoy my life, my work, and what I am doing.
Can you imagine this – this has been my life since 2014. Hurry up, be a race car driver – now. Hurry up, be an actor – now. Hurry up, be a comedian – now. Hurry up, be a detective – now. Hurry up decode – now. Hurry up, be an activist – now. Hurry be, a leader – now. Hurry up, be an artist – now. Hurry up, and cry – now.
At the drop of a dime I have been expected to change from one “role” to another as if that is at all possible.
For instance, if a person is a race car driver they live on the track. Spending time there. Mentally preparing. Training and so forth. A person does not fall in and out of a career path, or job like you are changing the subject in a conversation.
It is the same if a person is a leader, manager, or any other job.
Truthfully, I am not interested in writing at the moment about the black truck I saw on my way home from work yesterday. Not enough has been done for me. Showing me a civic in a garage is not enough.
This idea of not really communicating does not work in this capacity. It never has.
This is nothing personal Barack Obama. I am simply demanding I receive more acknowledgement, credit, and the right to my own life and opinion.
I am beyond tired of being turned into a yelling machine.
What I see anymore is the only reason for persons to be placed in my vision is to create this false immersion experience that tries to make me believe I am participating in a movie or experience that I am not, and to sway my movie purchases.
I see no reason anymore for privileged conversations.
Talking Computer: Privileged Communication – June 13, 2018
- I am here at my computer because I have nowhere else to get rid – if nothing else – of this information.
- If I see any more pictures and so on like my post about Religious Experience I do not feel it is in my best interest to share on my blog. However, I want to share it. Otherwise, what is the point of seeing it.
- I am at a loss again because it seems I am the only one who does not understand what is going on. I don’t like this. I never have.
- Now, I am having a problem with the head gear. Did I arrive at that conclusion or did someone place it in my head? The past I can be certain of because your mind tricks were not there. So, I am unable to fully appreciate, grasp, feel compelled, or believe.
I believe I did say it my head that the hunched or turtle-backed man seemed grateful. He was the man on the left in 12 Strong and the man at the meeting was on the right. I saw this burden for his people similar to a robe – not a bathrobe, a royal robe, draped down his back past the sides and back of his body. He has a great love for his people. I saw rocks in the landscape of his country, I could almost see the shape of his country. The rocks were pitted with holes, burrows, wind and water erosion, of this like. I saw there must be natural beauty, with water.
I believe that was his daughter that I saw. It was a close match, but not really. I saw bubbly, light things, like pop culture. However, it is not in any dismissive way. She is educated. I just saw things she is interested in. How much she is shielded from the problems and hard decisions.
Was this real or put into my head?
The other man, I felt he was studying me for some royal reason. This made me a little crazy. Looking at me to see and judge if I could be related. I didn’t respond to the black and white motorcycle jacket because it was too vague its meaning could not be certain.
Now, I believed it was he who used the “helmet” for lack of a better word that felt like I had been lifted up a few inches or I was standing taller and it was – serene. He did so, I believe, to show where he thinks from. It demonstrates great purposeful thought. Also, what he has and who he is goes beyond loyalty or duty.
I always return to if I was any good. If I was special I wouldn’t be where I am.
June 15, 2018 – 4:15 am.
Conspiracy Theory: A reason for a good news story would be able to divert attention and resources away from another story or event from being interfered with. Such as the Casey Anthony story that doesn’t make sense to me. The Boston Marathon bombing. Lots of stories that don’t make sense to me. They could be true. I just don’t understand them.
Conspiracy Theory: Because it does not make sense that Princess Diana’s driver was allowed to drink alcohol. It appears as if no one was supposed to survive that crash. So, if no one was supposed to survive then it would be a suicide car killing. Who would have anything to gain if they were killed? None of it really adds up for me. I could not see anything from the crash photos because they are soooooooooo – touched – for lack of a better word. Because the driver was allowed to drink alcohol it implies complicity. How is it that the driver was not watched or governed? Unless, the driver never had any alcohol and it was placed by some other means into his system.
A head on crash, where there were no cars impeding traffic. I remember something about motorcycles, however that seems so unlikely to be able to cause a crash. It looks deliberate.
This is just a theory and thinking through thought and nothing more. Don’t get carried away.
WE - DO NOT AGREE! 