A great uneasiness is wearing on me.  An uneasiness I can’t quite explain nor understand.

It started sometime yesterday that had nothing to do with the brilliantly minded pizza delivery man.  He is a bit off the charts, isn’t he?  He is in a spectrum and stratosphere unlike anything I’ve seen or have been around recently.

What must that be like to be so high on the IQ numbers?  Does the rest of the world seem dull in comparison?

The closest way I can explain what I saw – if this is real – is his brain, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, his brain neurons firing in every direction at once and he is able to watch, look, see, and understand it all at the same time.  Magnificent.

Please do not take “bing” and turn it into anything other than a sound effect or visualization.

Can we please stop being dumb?  Dumb = B, mud.  Sorry, I am working on too many things at the same time.  I mean nothing serious by the code.

As I am looking up the word neuron to make sure what I mean is the actual meaning because I can understand things, words, theories, etc. without the education.  I can understand things I shouldn’t based on my education, background, and experience.

I remember my mother remarking about it when I spoke about something when I was still single digit young.  This is a good example of how the public-school testing failed me, as well as, teachers failed me.  Too much to share now.

Either this is real or it is not.  They do a lousy job of letting me know when I am right.  When I am correct.  I go to work only to be yelled at for doing the correct thing.

No, I don’t want to go faster at work.  The numbers are too high.

There was no reason for me – EVER – to be yelled at or any negative communication whatsoever!

Need I remind you I am the reason any of you are here to begin with!  Not the other way around!  It is my brain FIRST!  Not the other way around!

They do a terrible job of communicating with me to me when I am correct!

I am standing in my doorway trying to remember the tip I had already calculated when I stop because I want to know who this pizza man is.  It threw me for a moment since he works to capture very dangerous people.

So, either I did that on my own, or they did that.  Which is it?!

If you saw them, these very dangerous people you would see how Hollywood has nothing on the real thing.  Acting is an art.  Dangerous people are criminals.  They are worlds apart and a huge difference to be made.  They are not the same thing.

Somebody needs to start telling me – truthfully – rather than trying to skew the response or results.

To be clear, I am not taking God out of the equation because He is real.  God does exist.  The fact that they have a sign that says “You belong here” has nothing to do with a shirt I own.

Let me explain, “It’s a brain thing, you wouldn’t understand” has to do with “you” = Universal.  Universal is where I received my license plate DJD G13.  Going back to a bad dating experience that never should have happened, I will write more about it in another writing.

DJD G13 – should never have happened.  You’ll read about it.  What a terrible injustice that has been done to me.

You do not have to believe me when I say God exists.  But, He does.  He knows me.  We’ve talked.  We talk all the time.  It’s just…that…we used to talk better before moving here and everything that has gone on with it.

I didn’t want to do this because I do not believe in it anymore.

I do not believe in my work anymore.

However, last Tuesday night for me, June 19, 2018 what a terrible person.  Either I heard the behavioral psychologist, or they told me that is who he was when I heard his voice.  His voice was Monday, June 18, 2018.  Then, I hear, no – I know based on how I feel not a good person is sharing my brain.

You do realize I do not get to say no?!

It takes several minutes.  10?  15?  Or less?  Time is so meaningless since it is so long during the night.  I cannot determine an exact number.

When…

SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE.

If this is real at all this one was different in that this person wants…I said she wants to hurt herself.  While at work I said in my head, she as I believed it was a woman, wanted to kill herself.  I said it was gruesome.  I said I hope she is not around any children because that would be a bad thing and dangerous.

However, this is not the complete truth.  I felt she wanted to kill herself because she wants to hurt and kill others.

I don’t know if she has a specific person or persons, she has “this” in her that she cannot get rid of and she believes harming others and harming herself is the answer.

It is NEVER the answer.

Never the answer in reference to the “this”.  Some people will understand “this” I cannot go on a 100-page dissertation about the exact meaning of one word.

This woman needs help.

God help us.

God help us all.

Either it is real, or they place it all in my brain.

If it is real – I want some goddamn credit!

Or, leave me alone!

An uneasiness.  I want it gone!