Coffee and Breakfast: July 8, 2018

Day 1,560.

I am not eating.  Have whatever you would like to eat.

Tired of cleaning.  In my mind I am letting someone else clean, tired of the task, and tasks.

I am sick with upset and sadness because how many years must I live like this?  Without a man, living with me, taking care of me, sharing a life with me?

I feel like a prisoner and nothing more.  When I have done nothing wrong.

There is no reason, none, for me to live all alone like this for all these years.  There is no reason I have been made to live alone for decades.

I am angry with upset.

How many more years?

How many more years must I be alone?

This woman cannot live alone her whole life, she never has wanted to.

This woman cannot live in her head all alone – only.

Sick to death of being made to swallow for no reason.

Barney, best gentleman of a cat lived to be 21.

I don’t know how many years I must say this, it doesn’t work in my head alone.  Never has.  Never will.