February 22, 2019: READ: I AM TOO HEAVY!

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February 22, 2019

Somebody should find out why my real father is unhappy.  My real father I know has not been for at least a few weeks, been happy.  He is in fact upset with people and things that have happened with my writing and my employment.  People have gone out of their way to upset my real father, and I do not like that.

If the David team is responsible, I am so beyond any feelings for David anymore.  I more than want to move on.  We are never getting back together, we were never really friends to begin with, were we?  The whole thing was faked and staged?

I am accusing David of purposefully weighing me fat and heavy, so that his wife can feel better about herself.  So that she is not threatened by me when she has been forced to work with me.

Let’s be clear, I want nothing to do with either of them.  It’s basic human psychology.  I go to the beach summer 2014, so I can get fresh air and walk, and David and his wife place themselves in the water, making a scene kissing, to what?  Show off?!  To show off his perfect wife’s body?  Degrade me?!  Demoralize me?  Send me into suicide depression because I realize I am no longer able to make any decisions or am in control of anything anymore?!

It’s basic human psychology.  What reaction did they actually think I would respond and have?  A person can only withstand so much.  Knowing that I will never again be able to talk with a real man, have a conversation with him, date him, get to know him, learn what he likes and dislikes, be in a relationship with a man, do all the things real couples do together that make them a couple without another person in their ear telling them what to do and say?!  It’s basic human psychology.  What other reaction did anyone think I could possibly have?

No, I do not believe that David loves me, I have wet and soggy underwear as a constant anymore proving he does not.  Among the other long list of complaints and evidence I have written about proven there is no love there.  If there ever was it ended long before there could be a possibility.

I have no idea anymore what to make of that theater group.  It is beyond disheartening.  This life is so dishonest, so depressing, so unrealistic, so shameful, so unrealistic.