AUTHORIZED ACCESS ONLY!
July 2, 2019
There is a difference. Yes, I got mad at David, it’s perfectly logical. How many decades have I known him? I’m upset by things that have happened. This is a big difference. David, you upset me, so I let you know, I told you. Yes, I flipped off David because I am upset by things he has done. It’s reasonable, logical to let the person know whose upset you, that, they’ve upset you. I am hurt by his actions, so I told David.
Here is the difference.
What Courtney did by telling me I am on a final written warning – there must be audio of this – she was using me, hurting me because she was mad and upset with herself about her own sexuality problems she hadn’t admitted to yet. She was not standing up for her man by writing me up. She needs more counseling. I am not interested in that woman, I never liked her to begin with. I am not interested in being friends either, she has already proved she does not possess the powers to be considerate.
All these years you’ve had the Weapon of Mass Destruction and what have you done with her, me? You’ve tried to chemically induce sexual arousal in me with another woman?! How is this appropriate in the workplace at all? You people are disgusting!
You would have to be the world’s worst reader if anyone thought or believed that when I dated that man, I was doing anything else other than making someone else feel better about themselves, again. He is not an honorable man, he is not a respectful, or a respectable man. He has been riding in my glory without having done any work all these years, and it shows.
I actually am a reader better than most people have given me any credit for.
Here’s the difference, FBI man, if you were placed in my life it was for me to see in you that where your real happiness is, is not in the line of work, such as, FBI. Don’t get me wrong, he does good work. He won’t like to read this, so I am sorry if this stings, as in hurts to read, he has a stopping point in him. I see it in his brain. He goes so far, and then his brain stops. Not that he purposefully does anything to prevent work from happening. He stops himself in his work. It looks to me like he has never really been loved, and that saddens me.
If you were placed in my life, it was for me to read in you that you would be happier in a line of work, such as film production. He is very creative. Things like having him, and David, and my boyfriend lying down so I could not see them, in a vehicle as it drives past me, knowing that I would know they were all three in the vehicle, is very creative. He was trying to have fun and be funny, it’s not work, it’s very creative. There is nothing wrong with that.
What they wanted me to see was that I was in the movies, by reading you. No big deal.
Have I thwarted today? Then, no wonder I am not happy. Have I made a military map or planned strategy today? Then, no wonder I am not happy. Have I interpreted any languages today? Then, no wonder I am not happy. Thwarting probably is my favorite. Military strategy is fun. Fun. This is not stressful to me; strategy is fun to me. How many people say thwarting is one of the things they like to do most?
There wasn’t really a sort of non-violent protest going on in prisons and detention center around the world for me was there? I heard it. I see them. The shirt is now changed. Do you know why, these men want to only talk to me.
I’m bad fucking news, this line of dialogue from the movie, Zero Dark Thirty, this is how it reads to me, this is the FBI man, and people could not tell the difference between the FBI man, and that police officer you showed me today. Meaning that police officer has subverted the works of others by harming my mother. Is he actually responsible for watching my mother suffer a stroke, and NOT call 911? That’s a serious mistake. He had no idea who was watching him.
That police officer is a real piece of work, a slime ball, and that’s being kind. I would never trust that man, I would never put that man in charge of anyone, I would never allow that man to work in any law enforcement, he is a disgrace.
I’m bad fucking news, I am not your friend, the bad news is a reference to the 9/11 attacks, I am not your friend, could just mean that stupid policeman who cannot see them they way I see them. Genocide is not an answer. And, he looks sick. Mentally deranged to do something like placing weight on me because of my brother. He is unwell. Cruel. I would consider not letting him live. I don’t have time to write everything he has done. I do not take kindly to subversion.
Who ordered the code red? From the movie, A Few Good Men, and the comment about the general’s underwear being a state secret is about my former fiancé, it is a clue, is all. About the damage that relationship did to my head and brain. It is referenced in the movie, The Green Mile, with Percy Wetmore torturing a man at his own execution. It basically reads, look at what this man did to her head, mind, and brain.
The two girls that John Coffey is sentenced to prison for killing in the movie, The Green Mile, is a real crime, a real murder of children, I’ve seen this man, it is truly gross what this man did to children. Really gross. Really upsetting. Gross.
If I haven’t written this yet, I have written this in my head for quite some time, Michael Clarke Duncan’s death was supposed to tell me, send the message to me, that I should not have my hysterectomy. The timing of his death is too close to the timing of my surgery. Do you know what the doctor told me after my hysterectomy? If I hadn’t had the surgery, I would have been in an Emergency Room in a year. This is subversive-speak.
If anyone wants to know. I worked in my garden today. I cutback the crotons along my path because they were not proportionate. It is basic gardening design, the plants in front should not be taller than the hedge behind them. I removed some of the other plants because they are a plant – what’s the word again? – that sends runners (actually what they are called), runner roots, creating more plants. It is better to remove them so that you don’t have plant on top on plant. It was too crowded for the plants; they were so crowded they were on top of one another. This is the difference between a gardener and lawn maintenance. A gardener weeds, cuts back, reorganized if necessary and so on. Lawn Maintenance just cuts the grass. What people have a gardener? Wealthy people.
If you go through my phone calls from when I worked at Disney the first time, it shouldn’t be that difficult to go through the reservations I made that had the dining plan, it would be in the word choices, probably in the notes. It is something I started doing after problems, I wrote in the notes everything a person in Guest Services told me to either tell the guest, or what the policy would be, Guest Services most often did not take over phone calls, they relayed messages. Word choices. I was consistent with word choices. Not as a copy, look at it more like policy.
The bomb strapped to the leg of the man in the movie, Zero Dark Thirty, what does this tell anyone? Do you think it is a bomb? Code: socks, argyle socks. Not a joke, this is what it tells me and reads to me argyle socks. Pastel colored, subdued in tone.
If you think a man had more than a crush on me (this is different from the movie in Leap Year) it would be from the photograph that was taken of me, my mother, my brother, a French tour escort, and some exchange students. I wore white shorts, a mauve-ish short-sleeved t-shirt, sunglasses, and shoes that looked white however, they were metallic, a light silver, that looked like spun metallic thread, I got them because no one else had something like them. They were a Ked knock-off style with a pointy toe. This photo was on the key chain that had the key to our safety deposit box.
My mother bought honey in New Zealand, different types of honey, one of them was a powered honey. They pulled my mother aside at the airport, I think she had to mail the honey.
Santiago, from the movie, A Few Good Men, his name is code: S, like an S hook you hang plants from, AN, my father’s initials, TIA, Tampa International Airport, go, as in go, it can also be crossed out it is not always used.
Has a little thing for her, bless him, he has learning difficulties, from the movie Leap Year, this is about the man that is also in the movie at the airport in the beginning sequence of the movie, Love Actually, he is referenced too often for it not to be true, as in he believes in me, believes I do good work, he reads people, and they read in ways that is not always something that can be described in words. My reaction to him without watching the movie again is pretty close to how I would have responded to him in real life, it is seen in the movie, The English Patient, between Hana and Kip when he lets his hair down. Isn’t it in a church? When he lets his hair down?
The English Patient, I mean honestly where would the movie industry be if they did have me in everything, The English Patient is about the burn I got on my leg that my cat Barney (the most proper, dignified, and respectable Englishman if ever there was a cat) healed, or at least helped me, after I sat down in a chair after my leg was wrapped in gauze and he sat in my lap with a knowing and almost like a timer went off in his head jumped down off of my lap, and I never had any pain from the burn.
Don’t confuse the storytelling of movies with actors’ real lives. When Almasay tells Katherine Clifton his favorite body part is at her neck, and places water there – this is a cup, like the holy grail.
I feel our talks have become a burden to you, from the movie, The Remains of The Day is about me wanting to – again – change shifts from nighttime to daytime.
I am tired of writing, at present.