November 2, 2019: READ: WARNING: DEATH!

November 2, 2019

BE ADVISED: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.

It’s counterproductive.  Creating an obstacle in my nose to expand the size on me, it counterproductive.  Causing me to take massive amounts of diuretics to then flush it out of my system is counterproductive.  I obtain no nutrients from any food.  I am not able to absorb nutrients and food.  Living off of water – is not living.  It is death.  Living off of water only, is death.

That was Courtney tonight creating death, wanting death, wanting me to dead, to relieve her guilt.

The broken ice machine and water says either intentionally or they read it wrong, they were preventing me from stopping terrorism.

It is also possible that the danger in the movie Frozen they are referring to is persons such as this other FBI man or other good people who seemingly suddenly commit criminal acts, and misreading it as my effect on people, and it is simply not true.  It’s a matter of fact, the brain, the mind, simply doesn’t work like that.  It’s been proven – all my life.  At the expense of my life.  At the loss of me being able to live my life.

I have never seen my father so fat, bloated, and heavy, in all my life.  What have you people done to my father?!

My father has never looked like that in all my life!  What did you do to my father?!

I HAVE NEVER SEEN MY FATHER LOOK SO FAT AND BLOATED IN ALL MY LIFE!  WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM?!

SEND THEM ALL TO JAIL FOR HURTING MY FATHER!  AND DON’T LET THEM – OUT!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!

YOUR WEAPONS – ISN’T WORKING!

WEAPONS – ISN’T HERE!

YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES LOOK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN DOING NOTHING OTHER THAN EXPERIMENTING ON ME, MY FATHER, MY BROTHER, AND YOU FUCKING KILLED MY MOTHER!

Enjoy living without me, when I’m dead, as you count your millions of dollars.

November 2, 2019: READ: WARNING: THIS HOUSE IS NOT A SAFE HOUSE!

November 2, 2019

BE ADVISED: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.

 

I WILL BE REPEATING THIS FOR A WHILE BECAUSE IT SEEMS PEOPLE HAVE BEEN UNDER THE WRONG IMPRESSION SINCE, 2012.

THIS HOUSE, THIS RIVERVIEW HOUSE, IS NOT, I REPEAT, NOT A SAFE HOUSE.

IT’S NOT.

THE ORIGINAL INTENTION OF THIS HOUSE HAS NEVER BEEN FULFILLED.  I DO NOT HAVE THE FUNDS AND MONEY REQUIRED – THAT WOULD GIVE YOU THE INTELLIGENCE, TO MAKE THIS HOUSE SAFE FOR YOUR AGENTS AND OPERATIVES. 

IT IS NOT A SAFE HOUSE.

MY BRAIN IS SAFE.  THIS HOUSE IS NOT SAFE.

THE WAY YOU’VE BEEN USING THIS HOUSE, IS ALSO, NOT SAFE.

I’LL REPEAT THE WAY YOU’VE BEEN USING THIS HOUSE, IS NOT, HAS NOT, BEEN SAFE.

SINCE THE MOVE TO THIS HOUSE, IT HAS NOT BEEN SAFE.  MEANING IT IS NOT UP TO MY – STANDARDS.

As a detail, the one level home, the Pulte home, my mother tried to purchase, the gray home, reminded me of my Auntie Lila’s home.  She was (Sherlock) not my real aunt, by blood, or relation.  She was the wife of a firefighter, I do not remember him, and she did write to me after seeing me on WORSHIP in 1993.

Auntie Lila’s house in Simi Valley, California was neat, tidy, kind of dark in the front of living areas, and there’s nothing wrong with that, to me is says, I like the house, cool.

She did have that huge glass jar of gum, that to me said, money.  Wow, how much gum did she have to buy to make such a full jar of glass?

If anyone is connecting or figuring it out, that big glass jar of gum goes together with – surfing.  Meaning, thwarting terrorism.

Also, I just don’t believe the stories about the fires in California.

WHATEVER PROFILE YOU MADE ME LIVE THROUGH YESTERDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 2019 LEFT ME FEELING TRAUMITIZED.

I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A SAFE HOUSE.

November 2, 2019: READ: WARNING: God Is Logical

November 2, 2019

BE ADVISED: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.

 

You people still haven’t figured it out.  It has to speak to me.  It literally has to speak to me in way, most of you, will never understand.  That’s ok.  Preventing me, from a purchase, or an order because someone else wants me to buy something different those are acts of treason, manipulation with intent, malicious and wanted acts, subversion, I could go on.

Throw the book at these people who have been preventing me by telling me this is just for a television show.

If you fucking morons cannot remember so far back as to – just a few days ago – when I do approve of someone, IT IS BECAUSE THEY WILL RETURN, COME BACK, AND BE SUCCESSFUL!  YOU STUPID FUCKING DUMB-DUMB WOMEN!  YOU STUPID FUCKING MORONS!

That held over for murder plot is real, and it is comprehensive, meaning there is a lot and a lot of people connected and involved in it.

If the only reason you had David post pictures of himself and Brianna on-line was for me to read, you’ve wasted a lot of people’s lives, and time, by not doing it correctly.

When David was in college with me, he was close to a precipice, or a turning point.  You took a man, who had talent, in his body, and he was physically able for me, and – you let him go to waste.  Truthfully, that is what he says in every one of his photographs, you let him go to waste.  His mind, and his heart were not connected, he was making bad decisions, and he was working harder than he needed to be.

If a person is working too hard, or harder than they need to be, they are not working smart.

I honestly, have no idea how he ever had sex with Brianna.  Eeww.  Gross.  Truthfully.  Gross.  Sick.  Disgusting.  What a turn off just to see David with Brianna.  It makes me want to get as far away as possible.  IMMEDIATELY!

Let me write that again, David and Brianna together scream, run for cover, hide, get away.  Danger.

She thinks she is harmless.  I’ve seen her, for how many years now, trying to convince me she is harmless and meaningless.  I DON’T BUY IT!  I NEVER HAVE!  NOT FOR A SINGLE MOMENT!

YOU FUCKING MORONS HAVE BEEN WARNED MORE THAN ONCE BY ME ABOUT USING BRIANNA!  SHE’S GOT TO BE OUT OF HER FUCKING MIND, TRYING TO CONVINCE ME!  MY DEAD MOTHER IS PROOF – SHE SHOULD NEVER BE USED, AND SHE MIGHT NOT EVER BE SAFE TO BE AROUND OTHER PEOPLE!

You people have got to be fucking stupid if you’ve purposefully placed bad women in David’s path – just for me – to read on him.  As a way to try and bring him back to me.  You gotta be fucking stupid!  This mentality, this thinking, has no military understanding, work, workability, or military strategy – at all.

David and Courtney having sex, this actually – gets worse.  He literally looks like he was not present in his own mind and body at the same time when having sex, or in his relationship with Courtney, and that’s really not good, or wise, nor does that look – anything like love.

I’ll write it again because I see how people do not get enough detailed information from paragraphs I write, and that means – they’re not smart enough.

David not being present in his own mind and body at the same time, is a little close to having – split personalities.  I am not suggesting that David in any way has a split personality.  I believe, you’ve managed him – to look and appear as so, and it probably sent his head and mind into – further hating himself.  Because that is not who he really is, on the inside.

If you follow that, it would be – and this is also not wise – why James McAvoy was seen by me, as a David proxy, in the goddamn building, and my fucking car!

And, I wouldn’t do that to David.  Do you know why?  It’s completely illogical.  Illogical.

Let me explain illogical because I am surrounded by dumb-dumbs, if it is illogical it serves no purpose, no function.  If something serves no purpose, no function, it is about the same, or equal to, slamming your head repeatedly against a concrete wall, and expecting – an outcome.

It just doesn’t compute.

It’s like taking a calculator, punching numbers into the calculator, and expecting it – to rain.  It just won’t happen.

So, let me explain it – again.  God is logical.  Although it requires faith, something that cannot be seen, God is – logical.  God created everything, every animal, everything around us – with a purpose.

The leaves on a tree, consume the carbon monoxide, we humans exhale, carbon monoxide.  We breathe, humans breathe, and the trees, lives, plants live, plants give oxygen to the air, and we humans breathe it.  Get it?  A purpose, a function.

God isn’t some lunatic creating useless items that no one, no animals, as a nothing to be un-useful or unhelpful.

I actually cannot believe I am having to explain God in this way.  This is such kindergarten stuff, that most kindergarteners already know.

I’ll write it again, I’ll explain it, again, David had talent, he had potential, and you so much as dumped him in a wasteland, all by himself, just to see if he would survive, or could survive.  I would never do that to him.  I wanted to love him.

If this is truly the work of the FBI man, I have no idea what the fuck he was doing!  Truthfully, it looks inept, so the blame cannot fall completely upon him, it just cannot.

It does suggest, he was never able to read me, the way a lot of the Englishman have been able to read me, and that just says his talent, is elsewhere as it pertains to me.

Did you people really and truthfully fire me from Amazon because of the message you thought you could decode, the message Benedict Cumberbatch was sent to give to me, and you believed, it was a death threat – to me?

Please don’t tell me that is actually the truth.  Please don’t.

The message with the time-delay.  The gift tag, that read, Do not open until Christmas.  Please don’t tell me, you didn’t understand it.  Please don’t.

I can’t write this enough.  Please don’t tell me this was the real reason, for telling me this is the reason they used the words, I failed to meet safety.  Please don’t tell me this.

I just cannot write this – enough.  Please don’t tell me this was the reason?  His message, alone?  His messages that you could not decode or understand?!  Please don’t tell me this.

If this is in anyway, true.  If this is the real reason, they fired me from Amazon because some moron believed they could decode – a message?!

I am sorry to tell you this, you will be so sorry.

Not a joke, if that was the real reason, you will be sorry.  Not me.

I responded effortlessly, without panic, and I responded correctly.  I can read, faster than – humanly possible.  And real people, know it, and have known it.

You will be so sorry.

Not me, I didn’t fire myself.  Whoever is responsible for firing me, you will be sorry if this is true.  You set about a chain of events, a ripple effect, that you are completely unaware of, and are not capable to manage, control, or understand.

You will be sorry, again.  Not me.  I didn’t do – anything wrong.  Again.

It’s actually really disheartening to me, to see someone have to suffer, for their own, incompetence.  I wouldn’t do that to anyone.  That’s why they follow me, that’s why they’ll follow me anywhere, that’s why they want to work with me, that’s why I’ve been given what I’ve been given, although, I’ve never asked for it.

Choked by news story just says women plotting against Rob at The Container Store because he was – a man.

I’ll explain again, plotting against men because their men because Cherith likes men because Cherith gave approval to men because Cherith enjoys and likes what she likes – is completely illogical.

It’s about the equivalent of placing a death threat and murder plot on my person.  Just by preventing me to be around the men I want, for whatever reason.  THE MEN, I WANT.  FOR WHATEVER REASON.

You would have to be a complete simpleton, to think, or believe that I have given up on my boyfriend in any way just because of a t-shirt.  Obviously, when I made my boyfriend, my boyfriend, I said yes.

If a couple is married, and one takes off their wedding ring, does that mean they are no longer married?!  It’s really repulsive to me to see these women, these people, as such morons.  Repulsive.

Below, Buffy, that code, I’ll repeat and write, again.  It had no sexual overtures, undertones, connotations, innuendos of any sort.  None.  If anyone believed or placed it there themselves, that’s on you, not me.

It’s like an abused child thinking every person wants to place their sex organ on them, or in them, or abuse them with it.  It’s really not mature, and its really not smart.  By – a lot.

Since there was no sexual advance in the message, no sexual overtures, no sexual innuendo, there was nothing wrong with them being – pants, or legs.  Get it?!

Not every man in the world is after – only sex with me.  I don’t think like that.  That’s someone else.  And, um, it’s gross.

It’s so stupid, so idiotic, so appallingly lacking in any moral function, moral decision-making, moral compass, moral ability – at all, I just really can’t speak to it.  It’s beyond mortifying.

I don’t trust any of the neighbor’s here.  None.

I don’t trust this complex.  That’s what you’ve done here.  This is not a safe house, a safe building, or a safe complex.  If you think because it’s in Zero Dark Thirty, those safe houses, that safe house, has never been present here, and it gets worse – every day.

Putting a camera at my door, is someone else’s idea, this house has never asked it of me.

This house has never asked me to replace – EVERY SINGLE LIGHT BULB IN THE BUILDING!  This house never asked that of me, you people FORCED me, to replace every light bulb.  That purchase only wasted my money, it wasn’t intelligence.

What a fucking waste of my life!  I should never, I would never have given up the care of my mother, if this was going to be my life!  The rageful anger it creates in me, is beyond words I can describe!  Years of my life – wasted because you are all simply waiting for me to die.

None of you are working real intelligence or working me intelligently.  You are all waiting for me to die!

Hunger strike!

November 1, 2019: READ: WARNING: No Paint

November 1, 2019

BE ADVISED: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.

 

This house, has never asked me, never asked it of me, to paint it.  Not anywhere.  Not once.  That started after 2014, and now damage has been done to my home while I’ve been at work, damage that has caused me to paint, or touch-up, and so on.

This has never read or asked – to be painted.

That is someone else’s idea, it is not intelligence.

November 1, 2019: READ: This House

November 1, 2019

BE ADVISED: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.

 

Let’s save time, by having me tell you by writing it, how this house reads to me, spoke to me, before my surgery, how the purchase following had been used going back to before my family and I ever lived in Plant City, Florida, before Germany.  So, no one else is guessing, how it works, used to work, or what has worked, and what has been done before.  This house is almost nearly – empty.

This house reads to me, as if it is actually asking me in words, for a lot of purchases.

It’s asking for the carpeting to be replaced with hard wood floors.

New furniture, in nearly every room.  Furniture, specific to this house, this location.  To fit the house, at this location.  That means, no joke, smaller sized furniture.  This is not a large home.  The rooms are small.  It’s asking for room-sized appropriate, functional, and organized to this home.

Doorknobs, door handles, or pulls on – all the cabinetry in the kitchen, and bathrooms.

The house didn’t ask for drapes, until, every window had, a peeping tom.  I’ve been taught or talked into, in so many different ways, to black out the windows, with curtains or drapes.  It never spoke to me that way – before.

It’s asking for personalization like the entryway, door accessories, plants, and so on for personality, function, purpose, life, and distinction.

It’s asking for storage and organization in nearly every room and garage because the storage here is nearly, non-existent.  A lot of organization.  A lot.

And, some additional lighting, specifically, on the stairwell.

The patio or balcony has never spoken to me, really, mostly because it’s just not big enough for much – function.

It has never asked me for numbers or the address to be displayed on my door.  That is someone else’s idea.  It has never said that to me.

Storage, storage, storage, that’s organization.  This house must have organization and storage – in every room.  And, I mean, a lot.  It’s asking for clever ways to store and organize household items, in every room.

It didn’t ask me for new closet-systems, until I got to The Container Store, and I just couldn’t go that much further in debt, without being able to have the re-sale return on it.

New flooring, new furniture, those are big-ticket items.  Especially, being unemployed at the time.  For months.

It’s probably asking me for about – nearly thirty thousand dollars, once completed.  And it was asking me for that in 2012.  It was asking me to have it done in a few months, in 2012.

That amount of money, that’s a lot of money, that’s probably, a completely new agency outpost, or office, set up.  And, more.

I don’t understand what you’re doing up my nose outside since about 2017.  All it tells me is you are punishing me for – being alive, still.

You’re punishing me up my nose, for being alive.

How many different ways and days and nights must I say and write the same things over and over, Casey will never have my approval.  Brianna will never have my approval.  Courtney will never have my approval.  1989 California man will never have my approval.

Punishing me for thinking about the future, and planning.

Looks like, I’m dead.

November 1, 2019: READ: WARNING: CIA Clowns

November 1, 2019

BE ADVISED: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.

 

I got as far as the Wagon Wheel motel in Cars, and I had to turn it off, stop watching.  It’s very sad to me.  That Wagon Wheel motel is a real home, somewhere in the Clearwater/Oldsmar, Florida, area before Michael, before my family moved to Plant City, Florida.  It was another home that my mother tried to purchase, and for some reason, that never happened.

It had a Spanish courtyard at the front yard, inside the stairs were to the right and the garage door, with the living/family room to the left, kitchen and breakfast/dining area beyond the family room, with French doors that opened to the backyard with a pool.

The upstairs had a slant in the bedroom that would have been mine, and the upstairs felt a little unsteady to walk on.  I don’t remember any other bedrooms.

I saw how they were going to replace some of the neighbors within a few years after us moving in.  It was close, about 10 to 15 minutes, just like Walden Lake, to the major roads, like US 19.  I didn’t really like the street it was on, yet it felt okay enough.

The dialogue, in Cars, of this place, is hurtful to me.  It’s a least one person’s real response, probably after seeing my mother’s driver’s license, meaning they didn’t think she was very attractive in the photo.  And, that hurts.

It hurts because they weren’t able to see all the work my mother had to do just because we were in Florida, now.

Her driver’s license photo is not how she normally looked.  Her hair wasn’t styled, and she wasn’t wearing any make-up.

My mother, in Oregon, before we moved here, worked – a lot.  She has several jobs, at one time.  She worked for Mt. Hood Community College, helping refugees, orienting them to, how things worked in America.

I’ve written this before, it was frustrating to her, to speak with some of them who believed or gave the impression that all American lived like – Dallas.  Like the television show Dallas, with million-dollar homes, expensive cars, without understanding a lifestyle like that means, those people don’t really own their home.  Meaning credit and credit cards, as this was the eighties, credit was a foreign concept to some.

My mother worked with bringing exchange students over, usually for about a month, sometimes for a year at a time, going to high school here.  When she worked placing students in homes for a month, sometimes she had several groups at one time, usually a group was about thirty students.  So, sometimes she was placing and finding homes for nearly a hundred students.  That’s a lot.

Do you know a hundred people who would be willing to have company, a foreign person, someone that didn’t know, for a month?  She made a lot of phone calls, to people, to place exchange students in homes.  It was a lot of work.  In Oregon.  That’s one reason they wanted to change her career.

She also, went to school part-time, at Mt. Hood Community College.  She also, sold make-up, and had a baby-sitting, sort of service, for free.

She was extraordinarily – industrious.

When we moved to Florida, her exchange student job moved with her, except, it got so much more difficult to find homes for students, my mother took I don’t know how many other jobs, trying to make ends meet.

I mean, her exchange student job, was so much more difficult, it must have been on purpose.  It’s actually very cruel.

Just think about it, how would you go about, if it was your job, finding people that would allow a foreign person into their home, have it be a decent home because it was required, have a coordinator to manage the families, students, and activities, coordinate the transportation for excursions like tour buses, and to and from the airport, and manage all the stress that goes with it?  How would you do it?

My mother chose churches, as the point of contacts for every one of the groups.  Churches.  And, at least on one occasion, she used a Buddhist temple, in Brandon, Florida.  Every other time, they were Christian churches, from many different denominations.

Is anyone making the connections, yet?  Because I’ve told and written about this, for years now.

I’ll write it again, there is no logical explanation, why anyone, in any intelligence position and job would purposefully be trying to financially disable my mother, especially if they were aware, they were following my mother, and her purchases.  Intelligence men were following my mother.

I didn’t like the street that the Spanish courtyard house was on; however, it probably would have changed, when the neighbors changed, and moved out.

There is another house I was reminded of while watching cars, a Pulte home, I believe was the name.  It was a model home, so in Florida that means the garage door was replaced with sliding glass doors, using the garage as a sales office for the subdivision.  I believe it was a grey house, and there was lots of shade from trees, yet beyond the street at the backyard, there was at least one person, if not persons, who were depressed, or depressing.  YUCK!

I don’t like depressing people.  Get it?!

It doesn’t take a real genius reader to see, I am not, have never been – friends, with any people of a depressive personality, just like my mother.

It’s possible those people might have moved away, also.  My mother liked the location of the home, mostly, and I could tell, she really wanted out of those apartments in Oldsmar, and into her own home.

When that house, also, didn’t go through, do you know what I had to do, again?  Shield, and place protection all around us, in our apartments.  I see it, now.  I didn’t really think about it then, I just did it.

Because in an apartment, the same thing you’ve been doing in this house, an apartment does not belong to the renter, and a landlord can come and go into your unit, without your knowledge, or permission.  It is very obvious these people, had no idea what they were doing.  They were all in, way over their heads.

Watching that Wagon Wheel motel made me very sad.  And, it’s very hurtful.  I really miss my mother.  And, its very sad and painful for me to see neither of my parents have been loved, or had love, in all their lives.  They’ve been married, not loved.  I’m not sure I’ve ever seen them, in love with each other.

I believe the reason two people are married is because they love each other so much, they want to be bound together.  If, they aren’t in love, then they should divorce, so each person, can find and have love.  Get it?  God is love.

It’s just very painful.  Every day.

This Russian man finds this to be of interest, or I probably wouldn’t be writing anymore today, there was someone else on my HCC Brandon campus, I have not seen – since.

I gave a speech in my Speech class on the movie, The Usual Suspects, and J-e-s-u-s fucking Christ, if that didn’t just set off all sorts of commotion and activities.  This other FBI man got involved, surveillance increased, orders were given, all sorts of things – happened – because I spoke about – The Usual Suspects.

My Speech teacher I liked, she was kind of nerdy, the nerdy was supposed to make her likeable to students, younger students, spoke really loud, tall, married to a man, blondish hair, sort of decisive, giving the impression to people, she knew what she was doing.

I have no idea why I was in her office speaking with her, after I gave my speech on Unusual Suspects, obviously unimportant or I would remember it, probably, just a reason to get me to see what was on her wall because although she and I were talking, and I was listening, I did not take my eyes off of her Pierrot clown picture, framed on the wall.

I had Pierrot clowns, I wanted to collect them, Pierrot clowns were very popular in the eighties, I had one that was a mask, probably the reason the movie, The Mask was made because it does involve, a bank, and I had a figurine, of a Pierrot that was black and gold accents.

The street signs at Walden Lake, were black and gold, for a long time.  I believe it is also in Twilight, in Edward’s bed.

The Pierrot picture on her wall, she was unaware of, and it has been removed if it was really there at all.

I have not seen this man before or since, this, Pierrot.  It is along the lines of the movie, The Thomas Crown Affair.  Meaning what was on the back on this picture was a design, a plan, on how to steal something very valuable, worth millions of dollars, sort of like the Crown Jewels in Sherlock.

And this man’s work is really exceptional.  Like a specialist.

I don’t think any of you knows who he is.  That, in and of itself, should tell you something.

I didn’t want to take my eyes off of it.  He’s got a really amazing, interesting mind and brain, and none of you knows who he is?!

This other FBI man, I believe is upset about this, these plates that I have here in my home, these blue and white plates, were bought at a Tuesday Morning store, our cat Tuesday happened after the plate purchase, that you thought said made in England, most likely, that was replaced after that dumb fuck, moron, Edison.

My mother purchased those plates, and set, in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, and we brought them to Florida with us.  They probably have – children, attached to them, you fucking morons!

There are probably real crime scenes, and, or real children’s LIVES, you stupid fucks, attached to them!  Probably, with me as – their protector.  So, doing something so dumb as blowing my belly out of proportion, would and could; therefore, place their lives in harm’s way.

Goddamnit!  I really can’t stand – incompetence!

I see where they did a lot of the same to me, speaking to her, she made and had a lot of purchases, that were irregular.  We had a lot of taper candles from when we lived in Oregon.  Jars of jams and jellies are some of the things I remember.

We did also, buy allergy-protector covers, for pillows, on the same trip as the blue and white plates.  The allergy non-sense that you thought you knew what you were doing and what it meant, to me says, brain research, and it looks like they’ve combined it with brain palace thinking.

Did any of you even know why you were saying and talking about – allergies?!  Or, did you all guess it had to do with Denver, Colorado?!

Because I saw those plates, I went around the house here, and there’s more.

I have an espresso set, that my mother bought me as a gift from the cruise she went on, and it says, the movie, UP.  It goes together with 13 Hours, and the Italian beanery scene, it was meant for me to know.

I have Sushi plates that were bought at JC Penny.  What’s-her-name Blanc from The Container Store talked about making sushi, I tried to get her to be a wingman, and then, she quit.  Suspicious.

I have light grey and gold dishes, and a Tiffany-style lamp, purchased at – where?  Penny’s.  That’s the other name people refer to JC Penny.  Penny’s.  Just like Penny from The Rescuer’s, that could go together, if only in theory, to seeing my grandparent’s camper, in California.  Anything from Penny’s.  being able to spot people, like that.

Before I went to work at Dillard’s my mother bought a lot of name brand dishes at the sort of outlet store, Dillard’s had at Eastlake mall (email, Zero dark Thirty).

I used to cook or microwave Morningstar bacon on the Corelle dishes I still have in my home, they’ve probably been altered or corrupted since.

The poster I have of the Chat Noir, to me says, Anastasia, our cat, Anastasia, and I called her, Ta-shee (Tay-zshee).

I gave nicknames, or codenames to all the Florida Troopers, when I worked at Dillard’s.

What they were doing before was attaching intelligence, usually, after the purchases were made.  Telling what and only what to buy and purchase, is not really helpful, or understanding the process that worked, before.

The word, throw, in the Fixer Upper song, from Frozen, does reference, this Russian man.

These are details, Nicole Cabot, did drive really fast, she was not cleared (Bourne movies) to have a conversation with me about Germany, and the difference is, when driving on the Autobahn, it’s not really fast, it’s appropriate for the road.  Driving fast on a road with a speed limit, is not appropriate.  To me, it says, something off, wrong, or, out of place.

My mother really liked the singer, Sheryl Crow, it, or she, doesn’t say anything to me.

Me being a vehicle or equipment with no personality or character in Cars says, you have a Ferrari, and you don’t know how to drive it.

Wow, Elsa, you look different, that’s Cherith with make-up on, not dressed for going to work at Disney.

They did attach a dislike for things of Hollywood or actor’s while at Disney’s employment, and it probably goes together with not understanding the event of 9/11.

What’s the issue, dear, from Frozen, it’s not really flattering, it’s stereotypical.  What’s the issue reads, WIC, like food stamps, at a grocery store.  The proof is while I was moved here, my brother told me to get financial assistance like food stamps because I was that poor, and I just – couldn’t do it.  I just couldn’t do it.  It felt – wrong.  Like sending a wrong message.

The WIC reference just says, people still had questions as to what happened with my pregnancy, it goes together with Sherlock, sorry to hear, and the rest, you’ve been hurt, is a real read of the Englishman as soon as he saw me.  They’ve hurt Cherith, physically hurt Cherith, and it is all over her, like a bad suit.

You’ve been hurt, Sherlock, goes together with the CIA trained killer, and that’s my German man.  Without re-watching it, really that’s all it says.  Sherlock would be Michael, not knowing the code, how to talk, or work with Cherith.  And, I am paying no attention to the intelligence affiliation.  It’s why the CIA man speaks so harshly to Sherlock in that scene.  They’ve hurt Cherith.

Something happened when I was going to the movies, before, 2017, 2018, the weight gain started adding on, and that prevented me from attending the movies, and making a purchase(s), at the movie theaters.  It looks inadequate.

Someone around here thought the code meant – to sit, from Frozen, it doesn’t.  I didn’t start talking until aged, 2.  That goes together with the movie, Johnny Mnemonic.  Downloading all that information, knowledge, language, intel, and so on.

Grab my butt, Frozen, grub, goes together with the snack bar or cafeteria being closed to me at HCC campus, Brandon, because it closed soon after I was able to get to campus.  Meaning, I had about 10 minutes to park my car, walk to campus, get to the cafeteria or snack bar, order and purchase something, with not enough time to eat it then because you are allowed to eat in class, so hold onto the food, while in class, and then eat it after class, when it’s cold?!  It doesn’t make sense to buy hot food, to eat cold, so what would I be purchasing?  Chips?  Something from a vending machine?

It looks like a manipulation of funds.  What would have happened had I purchased, food on campus, probably, no joke, funding for the campus, and college.  Really dumb.

The military calf muscle goes together with the movie, City Slickers, Norman being my father, and in City Slickers it does not mean the same as Zero Dark Thirty, being cowed and afraid.  The characters Bonnie Rayburn, and Nancy in the movie, tell me, without re-watching, they aren’t supposed to be in the movie.

I am Curly, in City Slickers, I crap bigger than you for breakfast.  Look what it did for his career.

The Calf muscle, Norman, City Slickers goes together with – the day managers at the Tex-Mex restaurant.  Allow me, from Sherlock, they would have avoided me, I worked on the night shift, it was my second job, I walked to it from Visionworks.  Meaning, the day-shift managers at Tex-Mex were a problem, and you probably really still could get information from them.

I always liked the HCC bookstore in Brandon.  It’s in the building.  I always liked it.  The Dale Mabry campus bookstore said, problems here, problems there, problems this way, problems over there, about the same as the selling drugs on the corner, in her kitchen in California – problem.  It spoke all over the place.  The Ybor campus, was ok.  I liked the bookstore at USF when Creggan first went to college there in the eighties.

My mother did plant honeysuckle by the hose connection that was her bedroom wall, with the round window.  The fact that she made a covering for the window, is a tell, she didn’t feel – safe.

These conversations I write about, only take a few minutes to – say, yet to write, it takes – hours and hours.

Buffy is the word, in code for, below.  It’s meant to fool and catch those persons who think they are something, they really aren’t.  It’s meant to trick you because the words were brought to me by way of Benedict Cumberbatch, and isn’t he very handsome, smart, and good-looking?!

There is absolutely no sexual innuendo, or connotation to his code, whatsoever.  That is actually, incredibly smart of him.

The truth is, it just means and says, Buffy.  Why would you read more into something, if it – isn’t real.

He should like that.  Me, writing about how his code was meant to read, or be read, he should like that.

It is also, not a good sign, if this FBI man’s former partner is seen as this African American woman in the background in The Peacemaker with David and I talking, that’s not really about David and me, or this FBI man.  It suggests, a lot.  In the movie, she looks, cocky, uninformed, and sort of, just playing a part.

It really is a sad day for intelligence.  I offer it – freely.  I give you information – freely.  Because it is the right and correct thing to do.  I have yet to be repaid, in kind.  By anyone.

If his former partner, was known, or appeared to have a romantic thinking, or flirting with me, you’ve read it wrong.  She’s been raped or sexually abused, hadn’t she?

To me she looks, really hurt, and she was over-compensating for it.  There is really nothing wrong with that, that can help people sometimes; however, no one noticed.  I’ll write it again, no one noticed.  She didn’t want to have sex with me, she was trying to be me.

It means, she was trying to be – straight.  Meaning, she believed, she should be straight, and in a straight relationship.

It should have read as a warning, if no one could talk to her, about it.  Meaning, it was so painful, no one could talk to her, with her.  She looks, really, really unhappy.  The films she is in, unhappy, unwise, not smart, and working against her own, truthfully.

Working against your own, is not the same as being willing to be seen as the bad guy, to catch the bad guys.

That’s really sad.

It looks like the alcohol did help her, yet that says, she was not meant to work in intelligence.  She looks like she is trying or was trying to prove a point.  If you have to prove something to someone else, then you really aren’t that person.

She could have been something like a high school principal, and this was spoken to me by a Christian girl, Amy Buckmaster, I worked with at Hilton, so, this is also someone’s notion of her, a Principal over children because she wouldn’t have wanted young people to be harmed, and a Principal allows an authority.  And, that’s really what her heart was looking for.  Authority.

She got lost in her mind because she believed having authority over others was punishing people who did bad things, meaning the people who did bad things to – her.  That isn’t how authority works or is supposed to work.

Gay community do not let your sex be an excuse, for – behavior.  Be smarter than that.  Don’t let it be an excuse.

Sona, how can I help, in 13 Hours, is not a good sign.  If she has to ask, then she doesn’t know.

If you can’t, if you cannot, there is no shame in that.  There is nothing wrong with that.

I am something special, as unique as a star in the sky, or a snowflake.

You weren’t meant to.

You weren’t meant to and be glad of it.  Life is full of so many other things, than Cherith.

You just weren’t meant to.

November 1, 2019: READ WARNING: Daggers In The Heart

November 1, 2019

BE ADVISED: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.

 

Daggers in the heart.  That is what my life feels like from November 1988 until today.  Like daggers repeatedly thrust into my heart, one on top of the next, on top of the next, over and over, until my body is so top-heavy from the weight of the daggers in my heart, I can barely stand up straight.

Cherith you aren’t making your numbers at work, regardless of the employer – daggers in the heart.

Cherith you aren’t going fast enough – daggers in the heart.

Cherith you haven’t written – enough – you haven’t written every moment of your life since before you were born until every breathing second, write again, write more, YOU HAVEN’T WRITTEN ENOUGH – daggers in the heart.

Cherith, (this actually is true people have done this to me since November 1988) you aren’t pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, attractive enough, financially able enough, good enough, ENOUGH OF ANYTHING – daggers in the heart.

Cherith you gave information that allowed a successful military operation, so we’re going to cut you open, gut you like a pig, and take away your female organs – daggers in the heart.

Cherith, you lost weight, so that your mental image looked almost like your physical image, WE’RE GOING TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU – daggers in the heart.

Cherith, you love your mother, so we’re going to kill her – daggers in the heart.

Cherith, doesn’t want to live in Florida, so were going to take away BY ANY MEANS POSSIBLE, her ability to live, ANYWHERE ELSE – daggers in the heart.

Cherith, you love men, so were going to make sure a man never loves you, for real, ALL YOUR LIFE – daggers in the heart.

Cherith you love a certain kind of man, a physical kind of man, we’re going to make sure YOU HAVE TO SETTLE, for something YOU’LL NEVER HAVE WANTEDEVER – just because you want to me be loved by a man and men – daggers in the heart.

Cherith, you don’t ever want to have anything to do with acting, Hollywood, or anything of that sort, ever again, SO, WE’RE GOING TO MAKE SURE THAT IS ALL YOU WILL EVER BE AROUND – AGAIN – daggers in the heart.

Cherith you don’t want to be around women, so that’s all were going to allow you to be around – daggers in the heart.

Cherith, you wanted to get married to a man, have children, so were going to make sure you never have that all your life – daggers in the heart.

Cherith, this is the lesson you’re meant to learn, David never has and never will love you, or he wouldn’t have left, wouldn’t have married another woman, wouldn’t have been in other relationships, David doesn’t love you, and you’re all alone – daggers in the heart.

Cherith, David is going to chase you out of a store while you are shopping for your mother, and then when you go and visit your mother in the nursing home, we are going to replace her with an actress, and you will never see you mother alive again – daggers in the heart.

It’s probably the real reason why the military man wipes up the blood off the floor in the movie, Black Hawk Dawn, it’s a read about how I felt having done any work, for any of you.  Like daggers in my heart, bleeding, and dying, from lack.

I think you are a little premature in let the healing being in the Land, you are still working me, unpaid, as a machine, and not a living, human being with feelings and emotions.

The Turkey news story reads as trouble, meaning, somebody might not live.

Why did I ever give them any information whatsoever, all my life?  All they have given me in return – for any of it, is daggers in my heart.

October 31, 2019: READ: WARNING: NECROPILIA!

October 31, 2019

BE ADVISED: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.

 

The person who spoke the word Pygmalion to me believes you have someone on your team, in the area, involved in the process who is truly interested in necrophilia concerning me and myself.  Meaning they are seeking a way to create sexual contact and intercourse with my dead body.

Arrest them!  Place a restraining order against them!  Find them!