Day 1,569.
No, Hollywood I will not be responding again, how can I help.
Video conferencing or a monitor, how many miles and miles away does a person have to be to be heard? On the other side of the globe?
I know what was being asked of me this morning, let me respond in this way instead: Jesus Take the Wheel is a true story for me. A literal and true story that happened to me. It was a bright and sunny day after it had just rained. Get ready for this. I was driving a Bronco, the vehicle hydroplaned. I literally closed my eyes. While driving, I closed my eyes. There was a response. When I opened my eyes, I had made it to the side of the road in between two light poles. With my eyes closed.
There is a famous trial about a murder, and a former football player in California.
A news story about blow jobs.
A school newspaper photograph of my brother while attending school on campus.
A newspaper photograph of my brother playing Jesus at a church Christmas pageant.
The View, a certain host spoke about an affair with an African-American man.
My real father has a saying in response to how are you. Four words.
There is a better way to keep wrinkles off a woman’s face, she does not have to be shrouded in cloth for protection. Call something for what it is, do not propagandize it. Believe me I will tell you so in the appropriate setting.
No, I am not Marilyn Monroe in Bus Stop because thinking in this way does not get me excited, I get calm, mellow not quite serene, but close in manner.
Enterprise – Star Trek, ten-ER-rise. President – dent, resident. Side of my vehicle.
Now, I have always been of the understanding that items, movements, clothing, placement of people in movies has been taken from me first. The parking spot I parked at, or the exit I took, or the way I did something and not the other way around. It is the abuse of power and information turning it the other way around that I am then made to believe I should follow after I’ve seen a movie. When it was me all along. I believed the intention was to make me feel involved somehow. The problem is, it has not. It has had quite the opposite effect. It could have something to do with the amount of time this is taking secluded from the entire world.
It is a matter of scale.
Very valuable information has been too easily placed in the wrong places and people. I am keeping my writing as specific as possible within the allotted timeframe. Those who know and understand are the only ones that need to be concerned or involved. I am at an end for spelling every detail out.
Want to eat something?
Next to my outdoor dining room, I have a separate building with a kitchen I use for making big meals, parties, or trying recipes. A place where I can make a new meal, or dish and I can feed the leftovers to the birds, or the animals I have on my imaginary property. The kitchen has a great island that could have seating, or they can be taken away depending on the function. There is a television, and the assorted gaming, X-box, Wii, what have you. Just like I used to have. There is seating, a covered patio that tables and chairs could be placed depending on the function.
Let me preface the meal with how embarrassed I feel about my lack of knowledge and exposure to different food, combination, and cuisines.
This is a more relaxed and casual dinner for lethal men.
Veggie burgers, turkey burgers, beef, perhaps buffalo, portobello mushroom burgers, chicken burgers, your choice cooked however you want. Made to order. I have homemade pretzels, and buns. The buns are of specific proportion. I dislike hamburger buns with so much bun at the top. It is too bready. I am thinking a better proportion will have a better bite of ingredients ratio. Grilled vegetables. Artichokes, squash, onions, assorted grilled vegetables drizzled with olive oil and seasonings.
At the island are all the accoutrements for the burgers. Lettuces, sprouts, turkey bacon, avocado, onion, tomatoes, apple slices (chicken burgers?), and cheeses. Sharp cheddar, Vermont white cheddar, Jarlsberg, Swiss, and Bleu cheese. Somewhere in here is some truffle oil either with the burgers or something.
Homemade chips with rosemary, thyme, perhaps truffle oil, and kosher salt.
There is a bar area separate from the island, stocked with an assortment of alcohol for mixed drinks, and this is a beer night. Beers from around the world, your choice. Whatever you want, feel like, and want to enjoy.
You can take your meal with you outside to the dining room, or a few small tables have been set up in the covered patio. There are places to sit in the kitchen building, but not real proper table and chair.
Dessert is homemade cherry cobbler with homemade vanilla ice cream or real whipped cream. Sprinkle some cinnamon or chocolate shavings. Coffee, espresso, or lattes.
Enjoy.
For me I feel the only way I get to do things the way I used to, or feel better, or good at all is to remember or imagine it.
While mingling let me tell you how Lambert talks to me. Every morning when I walk through the door he starts talking to me. Any time I go to the garage, Lambert says, I’ll go. Once in the garage, he inspects everything saying to me as he jumps on my car, what is this? Paw-paw. Is this why you are gone so long? Paw- paw. Is this the front end or the back? Paw-paw. This thing must be important if Cherith is in it. Paw-paw. Wonder why it takes so long. Paw-paw. Placing his lion paws all over my car. Then he and Maurice roll around on the cement. Rolling their loose fur off just like brushing their fur. Murphy doesn’t believe he needs to do that. He is not as interested in the garage, he is a bit of a city boy.
Another one. Pebbles and Bam-Bam. Here I am trying to talk to David Wolfe and it feels like bam, bam, bam, bam. This is how I felt he communicated back to me, bam. Bam.
Because Thursday, who was my brightness, had separation anxiety and stress I purchased a cat product, a spray to help him. As a way to move it through the air rather than simply spraying I, I would walk and spray at the same time. Also, as a way of him associating me with calm and help.
There is a reason why I talk to my cats and animals in a certain way and tone. For my cats they will be able to discern and understand when I am talking to them or someone else. If they hear their tone they know I am speaking just to them.
I believe one version of this story-telling is better than the other. Better, more interesting, involving, and better.
Running.
Complete darkness.
My eyes are closed.
Running.
Panicked breathing and breath.
Up and down. Jostling.
I am being carried while they are running.
I open my eyes. Blood runs in my eye. Darkness.
Open my eyes, an Emergency room. Lying down on a gurney. People around the gurney. Then, the doctor lowers toward my face. Darkness.
I couldn’t have been more than four or five playing in a neighbor’s yard with my brother and the neighbor. They had a Great Dane. While I was playing on the swing-set my brother and the neighbor were off talking, playing with the dog.
I could see the dog was unhappy. They were talking to each other and the dog. Either I called the dog over or he walked toward me, either way I knew I could talk and play better with the dog. Talk to him and make him feel better. I went to put my hand out to pet him when he bit me. It is surprising to me that I passed out from it. It shouldn’t have been so much trauma that I passed out, but I don’t remember anything else.
It was not the dog’s fault. Him biting me. This is how I saw it at that age and now. My mother felt I should be frightened by dogs. It didn’t faze me.
It might not have been the boy’s fault entirely either.
Poke a stick at an animal long enough it will eventually react.
I felt the dog was agitated and didn’t understand me because of how the boys had talked to him.
This is why boys need kisses. Lots and lots of kisses. They already have that tough stuff, boy stuff, they need to know kisses. So, they will learn about joy.
Here is the other version. The quick version.
A dog bit me when I was a child. I didn’t think the dog understood. Now I have stiches.
Which is the better version of events and storytelling?
I believe my way is better.
They have messed with the natural organizing of my brain. For instance, I preferred to use the very most left hand turn near my home. It has been taught out of me. Just as my driving has been taught out of me. My car being more important than me. It is just a short distance, and if I am already in the correct lane then I do not have to zig-zag or change lanes in traffic. This leaves my brain available for more important things because I have already prepared my path.
I’ve noticed recently, that I’ve stopped listening because there has been too much interference. Wrongness. Not to mention the amount of work and work load.
Whose fault is that?!
It was known that my destination was not going to end in Seattle, I wanted to go to BC. It was known. Interference was involved. In this home, in my devices.
WE - DO NOT AGREE! 