What must it say to a man that a young woman, at a time when email was still fairly new, not everyone had an email address, chooses an email atypical from the bubble gum generic email everyone else had?

What must it say that a young woman researches, goes through name books, only to choose a Russian family name that by definition means without fear, unwavering faith?

For when I read that name, and the names meaning – without fear, unwavering faith – I thought to myself, well, that’s about right.  Please do not address that comment as such.  I went out of my way to find a name with meaning not only to me, but to others.

What must it say to a man when a young woman’s voice does not match her body?

I know what it says to me.

What does it say to you?

Anything?

Not everyone goes out of their way to work as hard as I do.  There is nothing wrong with that either.

Captain American Underpants – Fire Him!

Baby Vader – Fire Him!

Female Father – Fire Her!

Envision – Fire Them All!

Orange Tire – Fire Them Both!

Bi-lingual – Fire It Forever!!

The Marriage Proposal – Fire It!!!

Edison – Fire and Kill Him!

David Kahit Wolfe – Fire Him!

James Franco – Fire Him!

You lying deceiving manipulators creating an environment of terrible-ness, of untruths, of years of fingers, of sex that I never agreed to, of never allowing my words to be spoken and heard.

NO MEANS NO!

How do I get rid of you David Wolfe, for the rest of my life?!

You will never be able to repair the harm you have done to me because of this house, because of Edison, because I’ve had to work for you!

I believe with all my heart that what I saw at the hospital and on the street was nothing more than a fabrication from you and your friends.

I no longer believe it was an Angel.

Do you know David, you never made me laugh – ever.

I want to be rid of you.

I am going through real trauma, real pain, real hurt, and what do I get in return?!  The lights on IN MY HOME THAT I DID NOT LEAVE ON!  HAIRS IN MY SINK!!!

THIS IS NOT FUNNY TO ME!

I will never watch Grand Tour again!  The only way that ACTUALLY works is if I walk in the green door which I did not!

I am out of options as far as the Post Office, I cannot go to Lakeland because it is either Watson Clinic or One Blood both of which are heavy and cause damage.  I cannot go to Plant City because it goes by Winn-Dixie which is HEAVY.  I cannot go to Riverview because it is not functioning.  I cannot got to Brandon because of smile wright.

I would rather die than have to see you again David.  I will never get gas there again.

You are on my list of worst people I know.

You are the worst employer I’ve had to work for.

I cannot forgive you for exposing my most painful stories.

How dare you!

I can’t go to a doctor because a doctor will be played by an actor?!  How dare you!!!  This is not acting on my part!  I am truthfully hurting and struggling emotionally!  What do I get?!  Pressure washing!  Heavy food!  Heavy soap!  Heavy sheets!  Heavy clothing!

I want to be rid of you David Wolfe for the rest of my life!

I will never feel the same way I once did about you ever again!

Take your eyes off of me, so I can mourn.

I am mourning.

I am mourning not only for all the loved ones, family members, friends, and animals you have killed and taken from me, I am mourning for the losses of what will never be.

I am mourning the loss of never again being able to bear children.

I am mourning the loss of my mother.

I am mourning the loss of never being able to say good-bye to her.

I am mourning the loss of all the friends I used to have because I was a good friend and people liked me.

I am mourning the loss of a sex life I will never again be able to have.  With that surgery you took away feeling, sensitivity, and the ability to be fully penetrated.  Sewn so tight it is nearly all together closed.  You took away the natural slide in and out.  It was one of the biggest reasons I lost weight, sent my mother to a nursing home, and went back to who I was before.

Our lives should never have intersected, I wouldn’t be here if they had.

Leave me alone, I am mourning.

Plus, the food control should be punished and locked away – they are a disgrace to their sex.

You will never understand me.  You might be able to see events that affected my life, but you will never understand me.

I am mourning.

Why send me there?

Why send me back to a place, to a man when in light of everything that has happened I will never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never allow it again.

Guinness is one of my favorite beers.

You want to believe I am choosing a man when I purchase something.  So, I will say this again, in case you didn’t fucking hear me the first time.  Regardless of what I purchase, it will NEVER be for David Wolfe again.

Can we please give this gay marriage situation a rest!

How many more years of the same thing is it going to take before someone and something finally corrects and changes this problem?!  What never was, will never be.  Regardless of how hard you try.

Kindness and tolerance for human beings – this is me, and always has been.  I will say no more.

Be sure you notice what it not being written in this post.

I believe I have proven I will never allow my dating life to go public again.  For, I never agreed for it to be public to begin with.  You will never be able to take away, or heal the humiliation, and  damage caused by placing me to be viewed by men and probably women, for your critique, enjoyment, and assessment.

You have doomed me to a life of dying alone.

So, I walk up to a bar an order a Guinness, for myself.  I said what I said at the bar, for myself.  It is best you understand the difference.  Because I know the difference.  What moments in the past that were real, were real, and happened to me.  Those two men moments were real to me, and nothing else.

It is a huge difference.

I need this unbelievable fake love story to end.

I never willingly speak to David Wolfe ever again.

Do you have any idea what it is like to go to work after having slept with Edison, to help a customer who goes off in the middle of normal dialogue into a story of having dolls and how they made her feel icky and dirty?!  What the fuck?!  Do you have any idea what it is like to wait on customers for months who speak to me that way?!

You have doomed me to die alone.

Send me to a gas station because the name Wolfe’s Produce is on a sign, I am only doing what I am told, and nothing more.

How many more people, animals, and family members are you going to kill in my life for your enjoyment and entertainment?

You need to understand, I do not believe anything I watch at a movie theater – it is Just A Movie.

You need to understand that doing what I am told to do, and believing in something/someone are two very different things.  A flaw in your logic in creating this, placing your definitions, meanings, theories, and guidelines above my own personal beliefs.

You need to understand I do not believe in the fake family story.  I am simply doing what I am told to do.

I am so over showing my work to teacher: I have a painting hanging on my wall of a child wearing a blue dress hugging what appears to be her mother.  This is not an important painting to me.  I have simply had it as long as I can remember.

In case you hadn’t noticed, I am not interested in looking like Jennifer Lawrence.

I am only interested in looking like Cherith Gjestland.

This is several days behind in my schedule, however I am only one person.  No one quite understands the strain upon my brain, nor the damage the eyeglasses do, have done, and continue to do.  Those eye glasses are fucking killing me, man.

If you are tired of eating from vending machines, convenience stores, fast food, snacks and junk food, and enjoy real food – keep reading.

This series is for all those persons – like me – who are unable to be with loved ones, friends, or family.  Since, I am unable to have a real relationship with a man, I have to imagine what it would be like for me to finally have a real man in my life, who would love me so much he would want to make me his wife – not his ghost, not someone who lives in the ceiling, for the rest of my life.

Doomed to live apart from the rest of the entire world – we’ll see how long they can keep me alive this way – I’m imagining a date night when it happens in a marriage where you have to reconnect with each other.  Where you have to remind each other why you married each other to begin with.

A man should be so lucky to have me as his wife for the rest of his life.  He and the world would never be the same again.  Love is very powerful.

My love is a very powerful thing.

The disgracing shame is no man has ever been able to have my love.  Not yet.  Not all of it.  I’ve loved men, but it has never been taking the vows love.

So, this is a date night I’m imagining where you better take a nap, for I believe it has been well documented, I will keep you up all night.  Well, that is the person I used to be anyway.

So, this is an evening starting off slow, talking and reconnecting.  Remembering the parts you see in each other, the parts only shared between the two of you.

This is an example.  If I were allowed to have a man in my life it would just be he and I, and are choices might be different.

Starter: Thin slices of red apple served with thin slices of Gjetost, cashews for some crunch, plated.  Also, I woke up with some disagreement in my head.  So, perhaps there would also be another starter of, thin sliced salmon on a – this is very hard for me as I do not have access to good food, information, or the rest of the world, so there might be a better way to write this, I just want to be exact and descriptive – hearty almost dark or rye bread-like cracker, chive cream cheese and capers, and chopped garlic, pan cooked in an oven with butter and seasoning until its toasted, sprinkled on top.  Served with a slightly dry, nice white wine.

There is nothing like Gjetost cheese.  If you have never had this goat milk cheese before, you are missing a lot.  I grew up on food like this.  Simple, good food, like pomegranates – something else I am not allowed to have again – this life has taken it from me.  Gjetost paired with red apple tastes like a caramel apple.  It is not the same caramel apple that you get at a circus or carnival event.  It is not the over-sugared, high fructose corn syrup, vats and vats of caramel-like flavored goo you can get anywhere.  It tastes like a caramel apple without being overly sugared.  It still has a sweetness, but it does not over-power the palate.

Dinner: Braised beef tips cooked in a burgundy wine with mirepoix, parsnips, chopped fennel, you could add mushrooms, I am not partial, simmered for hours until the meat is falling apart.  Served over mashed potatoes, oven-cooked in a mold with a slight indentation in the middle to allow for more stew, so the mashed potato is slightly crisped and stands up, and not mushy like mashed potatoes.  Topped with a dollop of finishing butter just before serving.  A rich, deep, complex red wine to drink.

Dessert: Now, I haven’t thought of the exact best dessert to go with this meal, but I have made this before.  Unfortunately, for me I posted it on Facebook, and it was discussed at The Container Store.  I have made sweet, cherry pie, homemade, from scratch before – it is so, so good.  Served with homemade vanilla ice cream with real vanilla, not the alcohol flavor-like quality you get at the store – the real stuff.  Perhaps, a cappuccino, followed by more wine afterwards, and for the rest of the night.

Who’s hungry?

Your rules, you do not follow yourself.

I purposefully chose red which means – CLOSED.  Yet, still I find upon my return home that someone has placed goo all over my scale.  Taking close to a half an hour to clean off.

I purposeful chose the orange tire because it means – Do Not Enter.  Yet, still I find someone has entered my home without permission, authority, damaging my home. Continue reading “How Dare You”

I CHALLENGE YOU!

I challenge you, that if I knew and understood what was going on as it was happening, I would win every single time!  No question.  I would win.  If I understood what was at stake, what was the win or gain, what the consequences would be, what would be the outcome, what the eventuality would be, if I understood any of it at all – you would NEVER win.

I would always win.

But, you lie.  You never tell the truth.  You wait until after the fact, after the damage is done before you “show” what happened when I made a choice.  Only a coward hides in a corner, behind a facâde, behind glass, behind family members, behind friends, behind black paint, behind a disguise to speak, or interact, or fuck me.  I challenge you to meet me head on as an equal without any guise, without any pretend, without any gimmicky game, without false reality, and speak to me as an equal pairing.

I am not a hillbilly.  I never was, I never will be.  I am not from Florida.  I am not native.  I am a transplant – it is the term when a person moves from another state.  I am a west coast girl, and always will be.  However, I am meant to live abroad.  I was never meant to live in New York.

If anything, I was meant to live in San Francisco for a while.  I can barely see his face anymore, however I thought it might have been David Wolfe at the airport in San Francisco walking in the opposite direction from me, so I could see his face while in disguise.  After, I had visited The Art of Shaving – it is a real store.  After, I received a tea sample from David’s Teas.  I could go on an on.

I had the most fun walking everywhere in San Francisco.  I am too broke to afford a taxi everywhere.  I stayed at Japantown for Roy.  Wonder why that is?  Oh yeah, this house is alive.  Otherwise, I would have travelled alone, and hopefully had a travel romance with a real man.  For, I wanted to stay at the Hilton at Fisherman’s Wharf which is where I should have stayed if I understood how far away and small Japantown is.

Walking into a bookstore to see what they have, walking to an antique store, walking into a bar for a bite, walking into a local pizza shop for a slice and a beer, walking into an ice cream shop, walking into small businesses that is the backbone of America.  Amazingly it was warm weather and I didn’t need my coat.

So, I challenge you to take down the heavy pressure, take down the barriers, undo everything you have done these last few years.  For it is not for YOU that you are here, it is because of ME.

The reimagined show is NOT the only television show, film or movie I have created.  I told my Obama computer of another television show featuring a garage.  A television show, half-hour would be best taking place in a garage with customers interrupting the garage mechanics and workers.  It’s a good idea and it would have been a popular show too.

This all should have ended in November of 2014 when I was first told it was supposed to end.

I am not putting that mirror up in my bathroom which shares a wall, so that you can spy on me from the other side again.

 

I have to stop for tonight as I am beyond struggling.  I feel doped and drugged.  It must have been something someone put in my food.  I am unable to think, or move, or function.  I am looking at seven products on my desk that I have to return which does not include the items from a few days ago I had to return, or the items I’ve already thrown in the trash.  It is just sickening.  I can barely keep my eyes open.  I am not sure I will be able to sleep this off, I feel so drugged.

August 30, 2017

To David Wolfe, whoever is in charge in this virtual reality I am living:

I don’t know where to begin.  I don’t know what happened tonight.  Was I supposed to stay or was I supposed to go home?  To begin with can I just say how much I do not enjoy having to explain myself like this in this manner.  It makes me feel like a child asking for permission.  I am a grown adult.  I am just so sick of all of this nonsense, living like this year after year.  The rate is too high.  It is impossible to be held responsible for problems beyond my control.  The rate is too high when all that happens every night is a shut-down of the line.

What is my job?  I don’t know.  Just like I’ve not known what my job at Home Depot, Disney call center DRC.  Just like I had no idea what The Container Store was after discovering everything is faked. 

By my calculations I should still be above the goal.  However, the rate is completely unrealistic.  I was about the have my say so, but something else that happens EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY is being slowed down, held back in traffic when I would otherwise make it to work on-time! 

I walked out the first day for this reason only – I receive this down my line all the time – Virtual Reality 4, A Thief’s End, naughty dog.  I would just like to say how much I despise being treated as an animal.  I am not a dog, a cat, a horse.  I am me and no one else.

I hear this in my head too.  They would rather get rid of Jeremy than get rid of you, Cherith.  I don’t know what’s real anymore.  There is too much talking in my head that is not my own voice or opinion.  But, this constant struggle FEELS exactly like they want to get rid of me. 

So, let me go if you don’t want me there anymore.  Leave me alone.  Let me get another job if you don’t want me there.

I have no choice anymore, I must stop at the stop sign on Painted Turtle because I do not enjoy this experience at all.  I never wanted to live my life completely ALONE!

I cannot stand being constantly told who and what I am!!!  When to do something, given a task list to complete every day after work!  Like any person would enjoy more work after they have already finished 8, 10, or 12 hours of work?!!!!!

I constantly feel like I am being shoved out the door!

I constantly feel like I am not wanted or welcome.

James Franco is an asshole!  I wish I had never met him.  I would say tell him I said so, but I believe he already knows.  He wouldn’t know how to run a business even if the whole world showed him how to do it. 

I don’t care for him at all since I DO NOT KNOW THE SOB!!  After the picnic in the park with Mark, I went for a coffee, a black motorcycle just on the other side of the street.  I felt like that person was staring at me with so much hatred and anger.  I have no idea why someone would be looking at me like that?! 

Do you know how absolutely miserable it is living here?!  Why did I just hear in my head climate control?  Can you imagine living in a place knowing every single day strangers enter your home only to torture, torment, and make fun of you at work.  Can you imagine what it feels like to not have one place of your own?  This feels like prison.  Even when I am here I am not alone.  People talking to me outside, strangers talking to me in my head.

Writing as I am doing things, I had to delete the heart 2 heart.  2 is simply not an option in any way.  That stupid fuck-head James Franco!  What a fucking moron!

Do you know I could be working somewhere making $20+/hr. somewhere?!  If I only had the access to the outside world, or the rest of the world.  I wouldn’t have to be going through bankruptcy.

Do you know, that I personally over the years probably spent more than $15,000.00 on my home in Plant City?!  Creggan said he wanted to retire there.  Creggan loves living in Florida, he never wanted to move.  I have always wanted to be somewhere OTHER than Florida since moving here.  I spent the money because I believed it was an investment in the property.  As long as someone in the family was going to keep it.  He should have fixed the roof instead of moving.  It feels like I was forced to move because of the neighbors.  I had an outside there, I don’t have any outside here in this house because the moment I walk outside it is a virtual reality set.

I don’t know who was to the left of me tonight.  I had an image of rain dog when I saw him tonight which reminded me of Aaron Paul.  I feel like I’ve seen him before driving nearby, he looked like he was having fun, laughing and smiling.  I heard in my head tonight that we’ve met before.  Maybe it was at TCS, I don’t recall.  Home Depot?

Do you know I am just now reminded of a time at TCS when it was a terrible rain storm which kept customer away, I had a long conversation with a man who was doing a reno on his kitchen, I think, and house(?)?  He was a lovely man, it was a lovely conversation.  I used to enjoy being able to do that at TCS, having conversations.

Do you know how disturbing it to be told how and in what fashion I am allowed to have or not have pubic hair?!

Do you know that I believed when I wrote things like – Luxury of Simple Things – that my experience would have spa items in the totes and tray, or food items after the food day I wrote about.  Do you know how boring it is to always receive cat litter, cat litter, dog food, dog food, diapers, diapers, dog food, dog food.  I thought more of my writing would be incorporated somehow.

Do you know it is impossible for me to place everything in my garage on one side?  Do you know that somethings only fit on one side?  Do you know I find it completely ridiculous to constantly correct the right side that is not valid, not now, nor has it ever been?  He should move not me.

Do you know I believed the announcement that Nights were being shut-down?  Meaning there was going to be an end to entering my home with the Privacy locks.

Why did you ruin the Bio-freeze?  I still need and want it.

It looked like a family member of Vincent Cassell that I saw on my drive to work today.  I am simply holding off on certain purchases until my next paycheck.

Yeah, I remember talking to my brother about how (I’m sorry, I am trying to write as fast as possible, I don’t know her name. The woman in GOT who…now, I forget entirely, she struggled…oh, I think is it because it was such a masculine role(?)…struggled with the perception of her femininity) Fuck you, Franco!

Do you know I remember at Home Depot and…I would say African- American gentleman, but I think I know better needing help with a drawer being put back together pulling too hard and it came apart…and, yeah, he was with an African American female?  Then, all of a sudden Cast Away shows up in my DVD collection.  I was looking for it after all that driving.  If I could I would punch Franco in his face! 

BTW, Tommy when he was Franco, shook hands, I exclaimed I hope I didn’t break your thumb, and Dave Wolfe after he hung up the phone, held his hands because he was moving them so much – were both men – I don’t believe there was any facial hair involved in that one.

Do you know how much I miss chewing gum?!  It’s bad!  I want gum back!  I want allergy-free gum back!!

Do you know what you have done to my body…to my vagina?  Do you know it feels like it is sewn up, or grown back together?  It is so revolting.  It is so dehumanizing.  The experience is so much worse than I can express in words.

The only reason I took my shoes off to get the mail is this: JB Hunt semi-truck., and the Dick’s Sporting Goods job application, and the unfairly low number.

I meant to add water to my alcohol purchase since it seems the only way to keep things from being HEAVY.

I meant to change the locks before anything arrived.  I chose to wait because my Chrome lock – one screw is becoming stripped and I did and do not want to have to replace it.

I am only one person.  I can only do so much, and the effect that all of this has on me should be looked at quickly, actions should be taken to correct things that should never have happened, that were never valid, and never an option!

LET’S GET THIS STRAIGHT RIGHT NOW!  IT IS MY OPINION THAT MATTERS MOST!  IT IS MY MIND THAT MATTERS MOST!  WITHOUT MY BRAIN, WITHOUT MY MIND NONE OF YOU WOULD BE HERE NOW! 

I AM GROSSLY UNHAPPY WITH THE LOCKS!  I AM GROSSLY UNHAPPY WITH MY WEIGHT!  I AM GROSSLY UNHAPPY WITH BEING HANDLED!  I AM GROSSLY UNHAPPY WITH BEING TREATED AS A “THING” AN ANIMAL, A BABY, A SOMETHING TO BE TAUGHT TO BEHAVE IN A CERTAIN MANNER!  BECAUSE AGAIN I SAY WITHOUT MY MIND NONE OF YOU FUCKERS WOULD BE HERE!!!!!!!!!!

I CARE NOT FOR ANY OF THIS!  I CARE NOT FOR TRYING TO BELIEVE THAT I AM ON TELEVISION, OR THE RADIO, OR IN A FILM, OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU TRY TO MAKE ME BELIEVE!  I AM SO MUCH GREATER THAN ANY OF THIS, THAN ANYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED, OR YOU WOULDN’T FUCKING BE HERE!!!!!!!

I CHOOSE!  I SAY!  I SAY WHO AND WHAT I AM!  YOUR STORY AND PLOT LINES ARE TIRED AND WORN OUT SINCE NONE OF THEM CAME FROM MY MIND!

THE WAY YOU TRY TO SUCK UP TO ME WHILE I AM AT HOME, THEN RIP ME TO SHREDS AND APART AS SOON AS I GET TO WORK AND THAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING TO ME FOR YEARS REGARDLESS OF WHERE I WORK!!!!!

I AM SO APPALLED AT THE WASTE OF MY TIME AND YEARS SPENT AT THIS!  I COULD BE LEARNING ANOTHER LANGUAGE, LEARNING TO PLAY THE PIANO, STUDYING GEOGRAPHY, PLANNING A MOVE TO LEAVE THIS PLACE, PLANNING VACATIONS, PLANNING MY LIFE INSTEAD OF CONSTANTLY CHANGING MY LOCKS, STARVING MYSELF TO KEEP MY WEIGHT WHERE I WANT IT BECAUSE I AM NEVER GOING BACK TO THE CHERITH DAVID ONCE KNEW, THROWING AWAY FOOD, THROWING AWAY CLOTHING, THROWINIG AWAY PURCHASES, WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME!!!!!!

I AM SO ASHAMED OF MY LIFE – IT IS COMPLETELY EMPTY – MY MOTHER WOULD BE SO ASHAMED OF THIS PERSON SOMEONE PERVERTED AND DRAGGED INTO THE PUBLIC.  I AM SO ASHAMED BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING LEFT ANYMORE.

THIS DELAPITADED SYSTEM OF CONTROL NEEDS TO BE REPLACED.

IT IS BEYOND STUPID, IT IS BEYOND INTERESTING, THERE IS SUCH A BETTER USE OF EVERYONE’S TIME AND ENERGY!  MINE MOST IMPORTANTLY!  BECAUSE I WILL SAY THIS OVER AND OVER WITHOIT MY MIND YOU WOULDN’T FUCKING BE HERE!

DO YOU KNOW IF IT WASN’T FOR THAT CAR CRASH, THE CONTAINER STORE WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED?!  I STILL DON’T KNOW WHY THE CRASH HAPPENED TO BEGIN WITH.

I play music on the other computer because this one is not loud enough to be heard.

Sephora –  As much as I want to wear make-up again even a little bit to look better, I will not open my Sephora package until I am certain privacy will keep people from harming my products.

F-Series – I am now uncertain about this lock.  For me the radio and everything once played in my car and on the radio no longer applies since I have shut it down!  For me, since it is my mind and my opinion that matters I understand it only to mean that family matters, families are important whether they are by birth or relationships formed so close they are like family.  They are not permitted into my home, nor are they allowed to alter products to play trick in my home.  I am simply making the statement that one cannot live entirely alone.  Everyone needs someone, everyone needs people.  Also, my family should never have been taken from me.  No one should have anyone taken from them.  No one should have their family taken from them.

BTW, no one has their vision changed overnight.  A person’s vision does not change in a day.  I want my vision corrected back!

Willis/Dr. Carter/Google play – I remember Willis point in Georgia, I remember Google play on my phone when I was at the Pilot gas station in Georgia where I then went to the Jimmy Carter museum.  I was talked out of going to the World of Coke in my head which is where I wanted to go and was headed for before someone in my head not to go there because of Joe.  I remember the paperwork from my car accident which had the name of the doctor as Dr. Carter which always seemed strange to me at the time.  I remember seeing JJ Abrams – full beard – on Google.  The connection being made was Google.

Do you know the only reason I ever liked HBO on facebook was because of the Weinsteins?  I thought they had good taste, careful in their selections, and smart politically, and strategically in their Hollywood decisions.  Of course, the new air, diaper training, dog pad training changes my opinions on everything.

 

Grand Tour – Here is a problem because I love those guys, I love that show, and Amazon was smart to acquire them.  However, I am upset with feeling tricked, manipulated, and deceived into sitting on Roy’s side at their wedding.  So, I am at a loss.  I am upset with the way things are being handled and managed.  So, I am at a loss.  Because for me in my mind – which is of course the most important or you would not be here – David is Amazon, and not Rick AKA James Franco.  So, I am at a loss.

This leaves me wishing and wanted to walk away from it all because so much of it if not all of it was never real nor ever applied.

Creggan needs to divorce Roy.  It’s not real.  It shouldn’t have happened in my opinion.  And, I can speak better than you allowed me to speak at their wedding.  I know control was used to make me appear nervous and unpolished in my speaking.  This person should never be allowed in my head, or life.  Period.

Game of Purchases – I am appalled at the abuse and over-use of my money and paycheck.  I need to stick to a budget.  Do you know why a reality show such as Amazing Race or Big Brother only shoots for a few months?  Because that is the only way it works.  How else can I possibly explain in an email to my lawyer why my food budget is so high other than to say I have a bug problem.  Since, so much of my food has to be thrown away and replaced.  It is appalling to me that this reality has taken the low road and not the high road as far as my purchases, my treatment, and all ways concerning me.  Big kid is NOT FUNNY!  The entire world is funnier than that FUCKO FRANCO!!!

Liz Earle/Apple/Neutrogena – I am tired of constantly having to change every single thing.  When something works you stick with it.  I am tired of having my opinions changed because others alter my products.  I adored Liz Earle products for their attention to detail.  The tiny seals on ALL of their products, the ingredients, the careful packaging.  I noticed it all and appreciated it.  Plus, I thought it was a superior product.  I am disgusted that my products were intercepted and the seals removed.  Plus, I am disgusted that my emails were intercepted trying to make me believe they no longer add seals and such to their products.  This type of behavior is unacceptable!!!!!!

With my first purchase of an Apple product I was in awe.  I am a loyal person.  I am a brand loyal person when a product and company are worth my time and money.  I opened my shuffle, I could not believe how much thought went into the specific and careful packaging of the product.  It felt like opening a ring box.  Plus, the ease of use makes a customer want more.  I fell in love with Apple and my shuffle that quickly.  I was specific in my choice of inscription on my shuffle.  What to do with the time that’s given.  For, I felt inspiration to apply that to my life at the time.  There was so much of my time that I was NOT allowed to do things because of taking care of my mother, so what could I do while taking care of her which is why I spent so much time watching movies and reading books.  I can write about that at another time.  However, know this what I wanted, what I was searching for are those Master class moments that simply happen.

Neutrogena – Again, a great product for the price, simple and clean.  I am sick that you have ruined it!  I want this type of behavior to stop.

The stupidity of all this being created upon my driving route, locks on my door, clothing choices, hairdo’s, etc.  It is so dumb to me given it has been going on for so many years now.

Writing and not reporting – I am sick and tired of all the time and energy I have to spend to report all the problems I have.  I could be writing.  I could be developing stories and story lines instead of having to go to the bathroom all the time, or storming off to my car, or fixing problems you’ve created in my house.

 FIX IT!!!!

CHERITH J GJESTLAND