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September 20, 2018
NO, YOU GOT ANOTHER PROBLEM THERE! GET HER OUT OF THE PICTURE!
EVERYTHING YOU HAVE GET HER GONE! NOW!
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September 20, 2018
SEIZE THAT SLIMY MOTHERFUCKER NOW! DO NOT WAIT! GET HIM NOW! I REPEAT DO NOT WAIT! DO NOT DELAY! GET HIM! NOW!
USE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AND GET HIM!
DO NOT STOP THE CHARGES! EVERY LITTLE ITEM CHARGE AGAINST HIM! DO NOT DELAY!
EVERY LAW BROKEN IN EVERY COUNTRY USE! DO NOT DELAY!
NOW!
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CODE: PNG
September 19, 2018
Items to be cleared up. I have been told in my head to only write Coffee and Breakfast’s. No other titles. Perhaps because it has the word fast in it. Perhaps because of a food program. I will no longer fulfill this request.
Let me explain; stand still envision a radius around yourself at the horizon. Then add 360 degrees in circumference in your mind, body, and sight. Then, have a person – this is what it feels like – fling information, images, people, persons, actions, vehicles, employments, offices, colors, nationalities, clothing, gender, sex, religion, and more. Then, process the images and information and speak the truth either in your head or out loud as to what you see – as soon as you see it. It feels like someone throwing in every direction – constantly.
Nobody in their own mind has a constant inner monologue. Nobody says in their mind, I am going to turn the light on. You just do it. Nobody says in their mind, I am going to raise my arm, I am going to walk these steps, I am going to sit down with this and that. You just do it.
I merely wanted to slow it down and nothing more. No other slights to any other persons. I merely wanted it to slow down. I do not do guess, and I do not like being worn to a nub.
My once sharp mind. I used to take care of my finances by myself. I used to take care of my father’s finances by myself. I used to take care of my mother’s finances by myself. I used to take care of all the household finances by myself. All the passwords, all the usernames, all the details of every bit of information relating to the household and my family, by myself. I never needed to write any of it down to remember it, my mind was that sharp I could remember and randomize without thinking about it. Now…damage has been allowed and done.
Think about that for a moment. Think about the ability it takes to keep track of that amount of work, keep it organized in your mind, and never worry it will be lost.
It is not the image of a filing cabinet with endless length that stores my brain information. My brain is much more efficient than a filing cabinet. There is not an image that I could write correctly.
These nameless persons have never seen me, they did not think it through before they started.
It feels personal. What I felt about last night is that it is personal to him and has become a personal matter. Not just for myself. For humanity. Good.
They should be fired, immediately. They are a team that should be removed from the building immediately.
She has been creating this diversion to unsettle me, attempting to create anxiety in my person so that I will not be able to do the real work. It is not my fault that I am better than she is. It is not my fault that I am able to do more than she. It is not my fault that I am the person that I am without her, her help, or her team.
I find it mortifying and disgusting that a compulsive liar with an alcohol and sex addiction has been allowed access anywhere near me. It is beyond disgusting if it is true that she has been allowed to look at me naked, or film me having sex, or while masturbating. Beyond disgusting. Beyond mortifying.
Beyond repulsive that I am having to write about my sex life, the lack of it, and the type of sex. Beyond repulsive. There is no other person who must do such a thing.
I heard my brother, he had no idea. Had he known their intentions, their plans, what they were going to do, the extent of their persons and character, he would never have helped them or given them any information. None. My brother is not that unintelligent.
I want you to think about the seriousness of their actions. Since this has been going on for me since 2012, yet their surveillance has been going on for decades. Think about what sort of person does these actions and their behaviors. Think about how you would feel if this was done to a family member of yours. How would you feel about it? What would you do about it?
Annoying was the word I used when I saw her. Annoying. Hardly an insult. If a person is not able to withstand the word annoying – THEY SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN ALLOWED!
Or, must I remind you how FOR YEARS IN MY HEAD I HAVE HAD TO TELL PERSONS THE PROPER WORDS TO USE IN MY OWN BRAIN!
I will remind you it is their jobs to keep me employed, not to drain my entire paycheck before it is in the bank! It is their job to keep me employed as a true family and not as a homeless addict and vagabond!
I will say this work should be done and completed at once, so he can return to his cleaned and correct angle. I am not interested in endless washings. I am not going to wash, and then rewash, and then rewash, and then rewash, and then rewash. I am waiting for the work to be done first. Like any smart person would do.
Before I walked to get my mail. It is exercise, it is fresh air, it reduces the use of natural resources, it is smart. Before I got my mail when I was out running. It was never just one action alone. Like most people. Now it has become a lock problem. Because someone thought it would be fun to play house rather than allow me to live my life to its fullest.
If I were you, I would fire them. I would get different workers.
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FEDS Work
September 19, 2018
Something is very unsettling about. Something about my car. I am not able to see what, however there is something going on. Perhaps it is only the workers, or there is another plan going on. It is unsettling to my person.
Did I actually…did a she actually get sent back to rehab not voluntarily? Because if so, I told you. She needs psychiatric help. Not from me. There is an obsession there that goes beyond obscene for me.
For me, the proof was in what happened at work tonight. They would not have been completely prepared and they would have had to go back again. It is worse than you believed. The quality of the preparation was not thorough enough for me. I am being careful to not write wording that could be misconstrued.
Unsettling within my well.
Disclaimer: Men Born Male Only, No Gays, No Skirt Wearing Fairies, No Transgender, No Tires, No Women Allowed! No African-America men, no black men. This is about properness and correctness .
September 18, 2018
Sometimes it is not the message, it is the messenger. Sometimes it is about not going through the proper persons and what was allowed to happen while employed and the role they played.
It is not about numbers for me. I am worth more than a number on a screen.
It is not about the handshake. I place value in manners, civility, and cultural customs that allow decency to prevail in everyday life.
I have not now, nor have I ever placed any merit in a hand off of any sort. My mind goes beyond, sees more, does more – everyday – to be bothered with such an inconsequential action. It is as if to say, I do not wear pants anymore because I no longer laugh anymore.
It has been more than four years since I’ve laughed. Know this, it is about the quality of love and love-making. It has made me feel as if I am not worthy of being taken seriously enough to be touched and loved for real.
I have stopped food writing while working any more. I am no longer able. If the last time I thought about food and a man was talking with James Franco, I have been dealt a heavy penalty for months because of it. I know he has nothing to do with diapers. Because he is not a woman. We’ve met. Worse there is something that has been done, done in my head that has quite literally stopped creative process.
I am unable now to write this in a cleverer way. He has been here with my hands, however – this is so humiliating to write about – there has been too many alone years and too many men that I do not know. So, again, it has left me feeling that I am not worth being loved for real. It was not special enough for me to save it as a memory. The shoulder was a memory. My brother had a reaction to formaldehyde, I have not.
I was listening at work. Of course, I did. Why wouldn’t I? There was nothing wrong there. I was merely surprised he was there, willing to be there, and the interest in my person. But then, strategy does not always arrive in the form that is scripted.
Perhaps he was there because of the good police work that was done, London time, as I saw it. Good police work. I told them so in my head while working. Without the help of my manager, I, Cherith, if I didn’t help, I saw, watched, and listened. Cherith did. No one else. Good, solid police work.
Know this, I have my reasons for not changing my shoes and it has nothing to do with the brand. It has to do with knowing that illegal entry has been allowed while I was at work and my shoes have been altered without my permission. This is not a war, this is a working relationship that is more than policy. It is a strong foundation for the world.
I heard and felt that he saw in me that I am worth more than a number on a screen. What I am able to see in others is of more value than a number on a screen.
Is there anyone else that can drive past a vehicle going the opposite direction knowing that a body part that is being used in a criminal investigation is in that vehicle? Because I did.
Is there anyone else that can see a picture on the ground, take it apart, and know that it is from a property in that has a marijuana business where there are illegal guns with multiple hidden locations on the property of money, guns, and drugs? Because I did.
I used to be an appreciator of the arts. I used to beg films, movies, literature – give me a moment! Make me stop, make the whole world stop, let me be sent beyond to where there is something so wonderful I will never in my whole life forget it, and it changes everything because I experienced it, I saw it, I felt it, and I know it is more than all the money in the world because it exists! I have written about this thinking multiple times. When I was talking about it in my head at work last night, I heard, confirmation.
How it is a confirmation, I am not certain. But, it was a confirmation for someone. If not several persons.
I am out of time for lots of what I wrote about in my head while working last night, I am tired of yelling about the injustices done to me while I am at work.
I do apologize, I am going to be late – again – today. It is this task list of chores that I must check off before leaving for work, it is the race that scripts the work that conflicts and causes more errors and wrongs than they are worth to me.
I do not like being late. It is more than disrespectful to me, my time, my worth, my value, to write a script in this way before work. It is mismanagement. I will say no more about it. If you are not able from what I have written today to understand the misuse and mismanagement of me, my talent, and my worth than I see no point or reason in continuing.
There is nothing wrong with apologizing when it is appropriate.
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September 17, 2018
No, Teacher I will not be washing my car, garage door, and sweeping my garage today! Fuck you! I am more important than a piece of machinery or vehicle!
If you haven’t figured it out yet, my blinds being closed – still – is NOT GOOD!
Since last Thursday, since the last food at my door, I have seen nothing but death for me. Snipers, bullet-wounds, gun-shots to the chest, the head, versions of suicide, no future only death. I have gotten to the point that I no longer can see much past it. I have accepted it and prepared my last will and testament.
Military, you will have to leave to my left and my right. And, The White House pressure is not worth the name.
Disney you will have to leave to the left and to the right – it is…there is just no way.
Do you understand they made a test of the Secret Service Police?! They did not get very far, yet still?! You allowed this?! I was beyond upset for days about it. A POW, a detainee, I felt was killed almost instantly. Random killing of children and innocents. My family. Not to mention the White House. Fucking UNACCEPTABLE!
No, Donna Branda. My mother would not be proud of me. My life is not real. Some things are more important.
The first thing this person does after being released from rehab is to go for my hair?! This person wants to see me bald and bawling?! And you allowed it?! Fuck you!
This person tried to get me to think that Tim could not read me, thought I was nothing more than a fat lesbian that would be content to live alone my whole life. I know better. He is smarter than that. He may not have thought that David and I were supposed to happen. But, he is not that dumb.
Do you understand we are talking about vaginal reconstruction?! Is that normal procedure for a hysterectomy?! I don’t think so. A woman who has never had children before would have no need to have reconstructive surgery of her vagina. Do you understand the damage they did in that surgery that someone else paid for?!
No. That movie is a fucking movie it has nothing to do with cleaning. Or did you think I forgot how I was lied to for years about my mother’s death?! It has nothing to do with hands and editing. You fucking MORONS!
Do you not understand?! I see them. I see the sick obsessive, perverse, desire and wanting to control – me. About my body. They fondle me visually. The lines and curves of my body.
Do you not understand, you allow this?! It’s gross and disgusting!
I was being a good citizen. A person who would visit a person in jail or prison they knew. No. No alarms went off. No wonder when he was faking and pretend acting. He never was in jail or prison or arrested or convicted. He was never guilty.
Of course, we were not buddies after his release. Why would I do that?!
I guess someone thought I needed the exposure. Because as he saw when I was talking with him, children do not willingly seek out a person wanting to do them harm. Do they?
Do children run up with their arms outstretched to a person who wants and desires to hurt them?! No! You sick fucks!!!!!!!!!!
How many years and decades have they seen and witnessed the expression on the faces of people of all ages who have never met me before? They have no excuse. No excuses.
This is not that difficult. I cannot believe someone thought there was a difference other than, modes of transportation, places I’d rather be other than where I was, and me, me and my animals, my love for animals, and my ability to communicate with animals.
Real or not, who knows. They do not do enough to keep me informed on my correct thinking and vision: Wisconsin. A serial killer over many decades. Perhaps had been many years ago. He looked similar to Robin Williams in One Hour Photo. Able to hold an hourly job, yet off enough to keep people wary. Been off the grid before if not numerous times. Worked at a retail store. Skinned, flayed, and dissected his victims. Making things from his victims. Blood and tree sap into objects. Intestines dried and strewn throughout woods and tree tops for wildlife to finish where there would be no evidence. The blood. How he loved the blood. The warmth, the tactile of the blood. He has a tendency to panic. Become panicky. Jerky. Nervous. Trying to escape. It is his tell. I told them a few weeks ago, if you find him, approach him, question him, and he becomes panicky trying to make excuses to leave, look further because it could be him.
Or, Cherith is crazy. One or the other.
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FEDS Work
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September 11, 2018
There is a very big problem for me about. I am very unhappy, so I am not writing nor am I reading. Because the teacher is still about. She and they are still about. I am greatly, greatly, greatly unhappy, very, very, very unhappy.
Don’t like red, like blue. Don’t like blue, like this. Don’t like this, like that. Don’t read that news, read this. Don’t use this picture, use this. Don’t wear that, wear this. Don’t do that, do this. Don’t do it the way you like, do it this way. Whatever it is I like, I enjoy do it another way. Don’t walk this way, walk that way. Don’t go that direction, go this direction. Don’t walk how you want, walk this way. Don’t place the stickers how you decide, do it this way. Don’t go here, go there. Don’t write beards and men or with authority, write like this. Don’t do this, do that. On and on. Without an end? Ever?!
Will there ever be an end to this mindlessness? To this mindless drivel?
I am so very, very unhappy.
I could say it was the leaves that caught my attention first, but that would be inaccurate. It was the rose that caught my attention first, and the color. Wow! Really and truly, wow! Personally, wow! I have yet to have the time to enjoy them. Still, wow! How very lovely. What a lovely gift.
How a small gesture can make all the difference in the world. How a small gesture can create a tipping point in events.
I am not able to work any faster than I am. I am unable to turn myself into this version of the teacher – let me show you the picture I see from she and them, half-crazed, unwashed matted hair pulled up, dirty-faced with no make-up, sweating, panting like an animal, unable to think for myself.
Let me remind you it is their job, her and their job to keep me employed. Not to be coached by she, and her, and them.
I am unable to pay attention by being written up at work – ever again.
She is not a reflection of me. I see her. I see them standing behind her. She tries to put on a front of congeniality, upbeat, she is a buffer and a front.
Last night, I see them gleefully happy at my being so worn-out, worn down to a nub, so tired from lack of sleep to accomplish a task list of chores, racing against a clock, so that I can hardly move a muscle, or pick up my feet, or move – or think.
Why?
Because I was helping. I was working with people with governments, agencies, law enforcements, official personnel, or I was not. Either I was helping them search through locations, or I was not. Either I assisted, or I did not. It is either one or the other.
It takes time to go in my mind and brain and look, see, picture, and then say, answer, or show what it is I see. It cannot be rushed. For a reason.
My job will not require a purchase to stay employed.
I am so very, very, very, greatly, greatly, greatly upset I am sick.
It is obvious to me what needs to be done. I am sick with having to buy products this way or another, or a teacher task list, or a drive route weaving. I have reached my end.
Because I stood up for Jeff Bezos as the real owner of Amazon, at work it has been turned into a heavy weight pressure against me. Because Jeff is not a she.
I am sick.
I am just so sick.
I am so upset with sick I am no longer going to write.
My brother, as I have seen him most recently is scared. He looks scared. I don’t like that.
I do not bring these world leaders, I do not go to them, they are brought to me. They are brought to me for a reason. They are placed in front of me. I do not go to them.
Either I warned people – for real – of real danger and real threats that were eliminated, or I dd nor. I am not seeking this out. I am not doing it for fame or glory. I would rather never be in public view ever again.
David, you have never loved me the way I loved you. I loved you enough to want nothing but your happiness and have love. You have denied me and not allowed me to have love or be loved by a man who loves me for real. For years, and decades. I loved you enough to want nothing but the best version of yourself. Greater than you thought or could imagine because I believed in you. You have not done the same for me. I am forever changed in how I feel about you because of these years.
I am not able to play pretend couples anymore. I am not able to lie about this and these men. I want them to go back to their wives and stop trying to play at stories that could never be. I am not able to look at a proxy and pretend that it is another man and that we are involved or a couple.
I will have it for real or nothing at all. This and I have not change since this became known to me in 2014.
I am too sick with upset to write about my cats.
I am too sick to think in food at work anymore.
I am too sick with upset to write anymore.
She told me she coded my time. That tells me she could not figure it out. Good. For it, I was written up, punished, penalized, and I am sick.
She must pay for what she has done. I am forever changed, my body is forever changed, she and they have taken something from me that is not ever able to be corrected.
You should have seen the look on my face when a nurse asked me if I was going to freeze my eggs when they were getting about to cut me open because I knew that she knew there was no way I could afford such a procedure.
I am just so sick.
She says last night, I brought this present. As if she could ever be me. How many years must I say she is not capable. I have quite literally blown them out of the water with what I have done.
Either I was helping London with solid buildings that in my mind I cold only describe as hot because it was bing, bing, bing, ping, ping, ping all over the place, or I was not.
Because she and they saw me driving with the radio on full-blast in my car for years and years believed that was the extent of my value and talent. My car is an office now. The radio has been removed because of it. It is an office I do not get paid for. Either I do the work, or I do not.
Now, I am not able to purchase bacon or fake bacon because of a game?!
Either it is real, or it is not.
If it is not real do not present yourselves at my person anymore.
If it is real, I am too sick with upset anymore.
I will not write any more. It could be a permanent change. It could be a forever change.
I am just too sick with upset.
I am not writing anymore.
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FEDS Work
September 9, 2018
Watch, she is going to try and write me up because I didn’t do something on her chore list like replace the batteries in my fire alarm, or vacuum, or something like that.
Is he really about?! Read on.
He brings me coffee in bed because I am too worn out. And because he is here in my life in my bed sharing life with me, flesh to flesh, my mind gets to working. Just some coffee and soon I am off thinking and making lists of things I want done around the house to make it a home. He is off around the house doing whatever he wants and needs to do. For I am not that difficult of a person.
A person should not be difficult to love. If a person is too difficult to get to, or unavailable emotionally, or too strict, or too much, you stop wanting to love them. In fact, you don’t love them.
Soon, I give him my honey-do list of things I need. He will get them. He thinks I have good ideas too. And, he wants a home as much as I do.
It is Sunday, Family Day in my mind. So, we have a get together of all our families. Belgium waffles with maple syrup, European butter, or Irish butter, your choice. Sliced strawberries and blueberries, and whipped cream, your choice. I have such expensive taste. Fresh-squeezed orange juice, coffee and espresso, cream and sugar, and still water. Turkey bacon and turkey sausage. Sliced oranges, and sliced strawberries. Enjoy yourselves.
It is the person I used to be, eating as such because I used to be able to go running outside whenever and however I wanted, and I used to be able to work out how I wanted to as well.
We are having fun you and I, so we decide together to spend another day with just each other going to a local museum like Ringling or Chihuly, and we are going to spend the day at Sanibel Island. Sanibel is so great. It is so wealthy, yet it is still old Florida. Old pines, scrub oaks, and it is not so developed with sky-scrapers that is has lost its soil. I have no idea how long it has been since I’ve been to Sanibel.
Going through the town and shops arm and arm, my arm hanging on to your elbow to keep you close, so I can keep touching you. As gentlemen are always supposed to stand on the left of a woman. We go to the beach, sitting, reading, frolicking, and looking into each other’s eyes.
We go to the Dairy Queen as we walk, just for fun. We share some ice cream. Then, have a nice dinner in a local restaurant.
New Year’s Day 2013. David in disguise as an old man. Another younger man trying to get my attention, he did to a point. Because I saw him. I saw him and I. And I knew I was better, and worthy of more.
My whole adult life they have kept men away from me.
I knew I didn’t need to play pretend with a boy who was not bad yet was not capable of being with me fully. Because I could have mopped the floor with him without thinking.
Because I am a sexually confident woman, a self-assured woman however the number of men. They tried to pawn me off to a man and men as training wheels. As if I needed the experience, guidance. They are so wrong.
I never needed training wheels.
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FEDS Work
September 8, 2018
I did not want to sit here and write this today. No, you do not get an all-clear. No, you do not get a-go. The extent of my upset, I am so very discouraged by placing my time and energy into so very many people.
You allowed a game, a video game, and games to have control and access to me, my address, my purchases, and my home. It has been allowed that games over the express and direct communication from world leaders as to the importance and value of me and my work, allowed disruption, shut-down, and the impendence of me, my person, my health, and the world as we know it.
My real mother is not from Georgia. This has nothing to do with the President of the United States, this about an imposter. A person trying to play at presidency. I will not stand down my address from the very, very dangerousness of this disguise.
I am the credit from my real mother and my real father. I am who I am because of them. I am who I am because of me.
Grade yourselves. Look at the physical appearance of me, my hair, my face, my body, the shape and size of my person and grade yourselves. What grade would you give yourselves after what I have done for all of mankind?
Because I would fail you.
It is not a matter of recognition. It is about contempt, disruption, and violence towards me. Must I again remind you, I was purposefully punched in the face while at work. At this moment I will not write about what I saw a couple of days ago. I have my reasons.
There is a very real work about in regard to the destabilization of the United States and Western civilization. I’ve seen it in many ways.
So, what work do I really go to everyday? Purchases and projects? Or, the real work?
I think the real work is of greater value, more important, and what should be done.
WE - DO NOT AGREE! 