Author: You didn’t pull! You don’t understand! You do not own my accounts! Perceived control!

Love is not love.

A person could claim love when in truth and rea!ity it is harmful, hurtful, and destructive.

All manner of persons could say it is love.  It is still a lie.

That was the wrong call and you know it.

That was the wrong deliveries and delivery person and you know it.

The time for a go-between, proxy, or human vessel have been over for many years.

Weight-gain and obesity are health problems.

They falsely tampered with my Prime purchases.  What are you going to do about it?!

They want me to wash the wheels of my car.  I have decided I have other priorities.

Take off the black headphones and stop lying.

I must live in my well of truth.

 

With the sound of children playing outside my window.  With children’s voice talking outside my window they come to my bedroom and head as I am trying to sleep to try and make me masturbate!

It is beyond disgusting!

Who in their logical mind would use children and the sound of children?!

I have no more words for this!

Is there anyone else in the entire world that has to live this way?!  Constantly having to prove themselves?!  For what?!  What did I ever do to deserve this?!  Cut off from the entire world not able to have any male physical relationships?!  For what?!

No longer will I masturbate!

No longer will I let them virtually finger fuck me!!

If you haven’t figured it our I am NOT playing it my numbers!  How could I?!  Is there anyone else in the entire world that has to live by numbers?!  Oh, no, I can’t buy that product because it doesn’t have the right numbers or the correct amount.  As if my own mind is unable to like products based on how they work rather than a NUMBER!

Are there special rules that only apply to Cherith and no one else?!  Are there special rules at her employment that apply to her and no one else?!  Like Cherith is only allowed to wear certain underwear or her food and supplies are weight controlled?!  Or Cherith MUST MASTURBATE IN THE SHOWER OR WATER OR HER FOOD AND SUPPLIES ARE WEIGHT CONTROLLED?!

I would rather die!

Since I am not allowed actual male flesh, male penis penetration I would rather die than live like this!

IF YOU HAVEN’T FIGURED IT OUT I AM NO LONGER MASTERBATING!  THERE IS NO LONGER A POINT OR A REASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You sick fucks!

If you thought you could weigh me down, call me fat, bullying me into feeling ugly, fat and disgusting – for a number?!  You fucked with the wrong woman!

I would rather die!  I would rather die than have anything to do with any of those three men!

If you thought you could weigh me down, so you could feel superior – you fucked with the wrong woman! 

If you thought you could weigh me heavy so you could have a war?!  You have no comprehension of humanity!

If you thought I would buy into your fake wars, you fucked with the wrong woman!

There is nothing wrong with me!  There was nothing wrong with anything I do!  There is nothing wrong with being physical!  There is nothing wrong with calling out when there is something wrong!

If you thought you could make me heavy just so you could get a purchase, you are not a good broker, man, or persons.

I am not a stock.

I am a human being.

Not a product.

The destructive nature living this life has had on my mind, my brain, and my body.

Would you like to live a life where every non-clocked in minute is spent in bed rest?!  Unable to enjoy life or the world?!

Locked away, cut off from the world?!  It is not worth living.

 

No, I will not take down the photos of my cats.  I am so grieved.

No, I will never love David ever again.

Such plans I had for this place and my life when I moved here.  All the things I was going to do.  Plans to make this place a home.  Plans to do all the things I hadn’t been able to do because I was taking care of my mother and family – are gone.  Have been gone and destroyed when I discovered all the cameras.  Gone when I discovered it was not possible for me to have a moment, not one moment 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year of privacy.  I am not able to have any privacy whatsoever.  At all.

In addition, I am left for years and years without any love or the possibility of ever being loved in the flesh.

You are not sorry.

Stop lying to me.

I am nothing but dollar signs to these people.

I want you to consider the fact that these people have gone unchecked for decades.  It is more than possible that their brain-waves and thinking is what actually interfered with me when I was just eighteen.

It could have been their notion, their idea, their assessment, their conclusion that made its way into my thinking rather than the other way around.

You need, and they need to consider, be more careful, and remove themselves.  They know not the possible and probable harm that could happen just by thinking around me.

Because this keeps coming back to me.  It seems you are on to a false lead.

It looked like weather.  That is not what it is.

There is a hurry. (?)