Author: endthefalselife

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February 24, 2019

Do not trust your own government.  It turns out the United States government does not protect its own citizens.  It turns out the United States government allowed this citizen, Cherith Joelle Gjestland to be operated upon, placing implants and devices placed in her without her consent or knowledge to be used for the express reason of using me against the United States government.

They have no excuses.  Where and how is it ever allowed for a citizen to not have disclosure of procedures.  Who else have they done this to?

The only reason I believe anymore that the surgery was done at all was to try and use me against the United States government.

The better comparable is a one of a kind super car (me) being given to agency persons that they then used like a vending machine.

I hope you all enjoy this world when I am no longer living in it.

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February 24, 2019

Watch out Star Wars!  Watch out!  The white female proxy you have in that building has a death wish.  She wants to be dead.  Watch out.  She wants me to get so upset I send people after her and many others to kill them.  She wants to be dead.

I did say that out loud at work!  Before you can send me to HR for – SPEAKING!

So, watch out!  It does look like it can be arranged.

I hope you all enjoy this world when I am no longer living in it.

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February 23, 2019

If you don’t want to know the information I have, don’t read.  If you don’t want to believe me, don’t read here.  I am not able to not write.  That is the information that has been presented to me, do not write anymore about another family’s tragedy.  I am very sorry for their loss; however, I will write the truth.  Believe in me or not.

The color of the woman’s hair is wrong.  What I saw in the parking lot at Lowe’s was a false accusation.  Knowingly a false accusation.

With what has been presented, it appears that Steve Irwin was killed because someone in television did not like my brother.  I do not believe that is good enough for an arrest.  There is a real problem somewhere in television, past and present.  I see nothing wrong in the Irwin family.

My mother was going to name my brother Terrance, Terry for short.  She talked about it.  Terrance and Terry.  She talked about it before.  Since Steve Irwin’s wife is from Oregon that would be the connection; however, all I see is that someone did not like my brother.  It is not good enough for me.  I am not seeing enough of the real problem and the real problems in television.  It could be the reason they placed David’s wife in television.  I am not David’s wife, mistress, lover, or friend.

There is real criminal activity at top levels in television that would be the connection.

Are you actually bringing foreign nationals to the US with my purchases?  What would be the purpose of that?  I hope he shows you how to respect and treat a woman.

I am still sick in my intestines.  The chest of drawers is hazmat.  It is completely contaminated.  It is full of death to me and others.

The fastest way I can write this, liking your employer, your job, you work, your company is like an invisible shield in the world that protects.  I talked about this better before, but your demands on my time are too much.

It shows all over me how unhappy I am.

These foreign nationals simply cannot believe how meager I live, how poor I am.  Wow.

I am too sad anymore.

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February 20, 2019

Our Father

Who art in Heaven

Hallowed be thy name

Thy Kingdom come

Thy will be done

On Earth

As it is in Heaven

Give us this day

Our daily bread

Lead us not into temptation

But deliver us from evil

For thine is the Kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever, Amen.

Most people know and can recite The Lord’s Prayer, now look at it again, look at it the way I see it.  Take the time to look at this, not so quickly.

Our Father

Our Father.  Not her father, not his father, not their father, not my neighbor’s father, not my father, our father.  Who does that exclude? 

Who art in Heaven

Who art in Heaven, He lives above us, he resides in Heaven, He is not of this Earth.  This is a very full sentence or thought.  Why is In God we trust on the back of our currency?  God is above our government, only God is above our United States President, our United States government.  It is also to say, our US leaders, elected officials, President answer to a higher calling, God.  It would be a reason for a friendship to be made between my parents and the Cash’s.  Art and Nancy Cash.  Of course, my mother and father would not have been bothered or concerned or worried about the color of their skin, and these men, these agency men would have known that, and counted on it, depended upon it.  This friendship was before us children.  God is above our government, God is above our President because of it because of the wisdom of our forefathers because of the actions they took for our country, in its conception, great and powerful, and mighty things have happened.  Great things, most of us ordinary citizens will never know or learn about, and there is nothing wrong in that.  Every day citizens being able to live their lives free and unencumbered, is power in and of itself.  Who is in Heaven?  Our Father.  Who’s Father?  Our Father.  Who’s Father?  Our Father.  It is powerful, it is mighty.  Just in saying that alone.  Who’s Father?  Our Father. Say it again, who’s Father?  Our Father.  Where is He?  In Heaven.  Where is that?  Above us.  In the Heavens.  Reach for him.

Hallowed be thy name

Hallowed be thy name – reverence.  Just by speaking the name, commands reverence.  Speak His name, and things happen, speak His name and believe in Him, and things happen.  Reverence.  It is a mind-set when approaching – anything. 

Thy Kingdom come

Thy Kingdom come – Who’s Kingdom?  Thy Kingdom.  Who is our caretaker?  Who is in control?  Who is overseeing all?  God.  It is His Kingdom.  It is His country.  We are His people. 

Thy will be done

Thy will be done – this is not as simple as it seems.  This is a theological discussion.  There is more than God at work.  I do not believe that everything that happens, for instance, a car accident, is God’s will.  I do not believe God plans and divines some things.  There is more than God about in the world.  Most certainly it would have been the reason when I was begging God in prayer at my mother’s hospital bedside, He brought an Angel to me.  For me to see.

On Earth

He reigns, He resides in Heaven, He works on earth, for us, His children.

As it is in Heaven

Give us this day

Give us this day – is an ask.  Do not let us suffer, let us be able to support ourselves, let us have dignity in our lives, let us not suffer through hard labor.

Our daily bread

Our daily bread – Let us be able to feed, clothe, and provide for our needs.  Let us not wallow, be ashamed, let us have purpose.

Lead us not into temptation

But deliver us from evil

For thine is the Kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever, Amen.

Really, the moment I was thinking about this is gone from me, I do not feel I have written it very well.  There are, again, only so many hours in a day.

Be aware, I felt I had no other choice than to order nose plugs.  To stop them.  It is not something I wanted to do.  Then again, I am beyond my end with sadness and depression about this life I do not like and want to live.

Torture and suffering, that is all my life has become.

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February 22, 2019

Why does this picture of Jeffrey Epstein with the caption, I was wrong, look like the FBI man?

Who is that FBI man standing in front of?

Why does this picture make it appear that the FBI man is sorry?

Why does this picture make it appear that the FBI man not only wants this reality television to end, he wants me to have my life back without people telling others what to say to me in their ears, and he wants me?  More importantly, he wants me to be able to choose for myself.

It couldn’t possibly be just because of how I look people in the eye.

It makes it look as though he actually wants me to have a legitimate governmental job offer.  Legitimate job offers working for the FBI, CIA, and so on.

Who did they bring along on the ride, outing, store going, and so forth?!  How many did they bring along?!  How many?!

What is this really about?

Why is that window in the picture too?  Why does it have a hinge?  Why is there gold painted on the walls?

Why does it look sort of urgent for the reality television, the 360, and this fake and false life, why does it look urgent for it to truly end?  What happened?

You do realize, of course, that in the movie, Miss Congeniality, the transformation or make-over of the FBI character is not really about her character not having the knowledge or ability to do her own hair, make-up and so on, it really and truly is about – money.  It takes money to go to a salon, buy beauty products, buy clothes, and accessories.  It takes money.  So, if anyone thought that movie was about me not having the ability to present myself like a movie star, or a Miss America, then you were wrong.  They (because it is a plot of sorts) have purposefully kept, not allowed me, to have a job that has paid me enough – money.

Yeah, Terminator is about me, they are really all me, defending my father, and people, and so on because there was and is this plot against my father, my brother, and my mother.  Obviously, I don’t believe these people should have done these things and been allowed to do these things to not only me, but others.

If anyone thought, I was supposed to have machine parts placed in me, they were – WRONG!  Really it is about advancements in medicine for body parts, like hip replacements, knee replacements, shoulders, and so on.  Using more durable, stronger materials that do not break down that then require more surgeries to replace the replacements.  It really isn’t about the future being about cyborgs.  Use cyborgs as a metaphor, it is about humanity and feeling, and the great importance the we never lose our humanity.

If that movie has not been edited at all, she really is wearing the same dress I wore to Medieval Times.  No, I really don’t think these men who were there then were thinking about anything other than who I would be when I was of legal age.  Legal.  They did not…they were thinking about me in the future.  And, yeah, people really got mad, upset, that it so messed with my head to have that relationship with Michael…it…a lot of places where I look people actually look desperate…for help…for me to recover, and so on.  They were going to extreme means to get my attention.

Wow, I really and truly did a lot of good things.

I see a lot of…oh, never mind.  I can’t keep writing the same things over and over again.  They were upset I wasn’t responding or recovering fast enough, and they needed help.

I want to know why it looks like someone got a hold of a spies or intelligence man’s information, or journal entries, or estate.  It looks like someone got ahold of a dead man’s possessions and they have been trying to piece together all the bits of information.  They are, of course, getting it wrong.  Because it wasn’t meant for them among the other reasons, mostly because they are incapable.  He looks dead, deceased, possibly killed.  This information they got a hold of being the reason for this place and the dating experience to figure out the clues and notes of this dead man.

No, I do not believe this story about a serial killer being interviewed without a guard in the room.  Dead is dead.  Dead cannot become undead.  Dead is dead.  Dead does happen within a matter of seconds.  So, I do not believe that story – at all.

Yes, it is quieter in my head around here when I am around people where English is not their first language.  It is actually quieter for me to be around people who do not speak English as their first language.

Great Expectations – If Pip is, these are all metaphors, if Pip is a metaphor for the country of England, and UK, the convict is the island of Australia with the specificity of sending convicts.  Then, Miss Havisham is also England and its people being, this is so sad, unable to love.  The reason Miss Havisham never marries because the country has no understanding of love.

It is the notion of a stiff upper lip people being more concerned with appearances rather than the connection and emotion.  And the author believing that England failed its peoples many times over.  So, the reason the author did not allow for Pip and Estella to marry is this, you cannot marry a non-person.  Estella is amendments to (this is the fastest way I can write this because I do not know the correct word) the constitution, and so on.  There is a lot of story-telling, of course; however, there are great metaphors in the book.  It would take a long time for me to write about it properly.

There really is great sadness in Charles Dickens’, and he thought people and the country itself should be more positive.  I am at a loss for time to write better and more correctly.  I feel I am not doing a good job of writing about Great Expectations properly.

There was a man who was brought along for the drive who had been incarcerated, and they wanted me to say whether I believed he was innocent or guilty without actually talking to me.  So, let me respond in this way because I did not say he was either, I said he was both.  However, think about this, when a FBI, CIA, or any governmental agency person is doing their job in the field where they are making decisions that could technically be committing crimes, like shop-lifting; however, in context of what they are doing, given the circumstances, they are not convicted, or thought of as criminals, or crimes.  In context.

It does send a very terrible and dangerous message, do not trust your own government.  Why?  Because I went in to a meeting and waited, and told people how to demolish brain research, and what happened?  My mother was in a car accident that left her in pain for the rest of her life, they attacked her for decades until they killed her, they gave my Aunt a stroke, my Grandmother a stroke killing her, my Grandfather they had killed, then they attacked me taking apart my body and giving them the ability to hear my thoughts.  It sends a message to not trust your own government.

Why does that picture of Jeffrey Epstein look urgent for this life to end?  Urgent.  Why?

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February 22, 2019

Somebody should find out why my real father is unhappy.  My real father I know has not been for at least a few weeks, been happy.  He is in fact upset with people and things that have happened with my writing and my employment.  People have gone out of their way to upset my real father, and I do not like that.

If the David team is responsible, I am so beyond any feelings for David anymore.  I more than want to move on.  We are never getting back together, we were never really friends to begin with, were we?  The whole thing was faked and staged?

I am accusing David of purposefully weighing me fat and heavy, so that his wife can feel better about herself.  So that she is not threatened by me when she has been forced to work with me.

Let’s be clear, I want nothing to do with either of them.  It’s basic human psychology.  I go to the beach summer 2014, so I can get fresh air and walk, and David and his wife place themselves in the water, making a scene kissing, to what?  Show off?!  To show off his perfect wife’s body?  Degrade me?!  Demoralize me?  Send me into suicide depression because I realize I am no longer able to make any decisions or am in control of anything anymore?!

It’s basic human psychology.  What reaction did they actually think I would respond and have?  A person can only withstand so much.  Knowing that I will never again be able to talk with a real man, have a conversation with him, date him, get to know him, learn what he likes and dislikes, be in a relationship with a man, do all the things real couples do together that make them a couple without another person in their ear telling them what to do and say?!  It’s basic human psychology.  What other reaction did anyone think I could possibly have?

No, I do not believe that David loves me, I have wet and soggy underwear as a constant anymore proving he does not.  Among the other long list of complaints and evidence I have written about proven there is no love there.  If there ever was it ended long before there could be a possibility.

I have no idea anymore what to make of that theater group.  It is beyond disheartening.  This life is so dishonest, so depressing, so unrealistic, so shameful, so unrealistic.