Author: endthefalselife

September 28, 2019

BE ADVISED: THEY FOLLOWING READ INCLUDES ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.

Take a look at my computer, and this bloated, belly you dumb morons have been placing on me for over a year!  By the size and weight of it alone, you have been placing death threats on me from within the company and my former employment – just to see if I would survive, and live.  That is one way for Cherith to lose faith in a person.

It appears that no one, no one in intelligence, and that means within the United States believed I would live this long.  Wow.  How do you feel about that father?  My real father?  After everything you’ve learned these years, how do you feel about how your own daughter has been seen within intelligence communities? 

Creggan?  What do you think about their prediction for my life expectancy?  It is one of the reasons they had you tell me over and over, you wanted to retire in our Plant City home.  They got their own intel wrong, or they have been working at subverting the efforts to capture our enemies by allowing people to attack our family, kill my mother and harm me.

I would like an explanation as to why they have been placing weight gainer in any alcoholic beverage I purchase such as beer or wine.  You are subverting the efforts of our United States intelligence by doing so.  By allowing more and more weight placed on my body, when it is already beyond its maximum body weight.

Englishman, this FBI man has been around me nearly all my adult life.  If he was in any way connected to “Lance” the only reason this attempted boyfriend set-up didn’t work, just look at him.  After Michael, I needed to be with a man who could protect me against other men like Michael, not a kid who looked like he wouldn’t be able to handle himself in a dangerous situation.  This FBI man, literally, needs to separate himself from LGBT associations.  That is why he has me around for so long, I am like a brain vacation to him.  The gay connections are actually harming his brain, and he talks to me as a way to help him, de-program.  He needs to spend time, a lot, with a straight female he finds sexually attractive, preferably not me, just to help his brain.  He needs to be de-programmed, and that means, gay, de-programmed.  It is not a personal judgement on other people, it is the truth about his health and brain.

I was very well aware on September 23, 2019 that the Vice President of The United States was within my vicinity.  Did you think because an actress in a movie “acts” giddy about the idea of the President being in the loop about a possible meet, would or could in any way be a credible read upon my real person?  Most likely, if the actress was directed in any way to “act” in that scene it is a real read on someone like a White House intern or aide, and not me.  I had enough faith in our Vice President that he was man enough to be able to hear me speak in strong language and not get offended when I needed to control the scene.

You gave him a female interpreter, and I’m not impressed, probably because of who hired her.

You are all probably going to be shocked.  I am appalled, incensed, and upset for him.  How humiliating for him.  You do not treat a detainee, in this particular instance, in that manner.  He did not place a death threat on me, you people here in the United States allowed a death threat to be placed on me, and you tried to blame him for it.  This man, was he involved in the killing of the Ambassador in Libya that is seen in the movie, 13 Hours?  If so, he is not sorry.  Do you want to know why?  The United States failed to protect me, my family, and my home.  The United States failed, me.  Failed to protect, me.  Please stop letting them do this, just because no one in the United States has been willing to admit how important I am, and how very important I am, to these men.

It was not just the anniversary of 9/11, they did it because our house, in Plant City, Florida, was sold.  Our house in Plant City is seen in the movie, 13 Hours as the secret CIA base that no one knew existed, it is the reason they made the movie.  Our house, my home, a secret CIA base, and other intelligence agencies as well, most likely, and Libya was not the only country our house was used for.  Don’t let this happen, again, United States.

I have written more than once that these women should be removed from the process, I have written their names, repeatedly, I am done warning you about them, if you do not remove, I will not be held responsible for anything that happens to them, or because of them.  Remove these – women.

They had me look at this man’s crotch area, and then they wanted to connect it to a real man involved in the killing of the Ambassador, you fucking idiots.  I am appalled for him.  I would never talk to him or treat him in such a way.  I don’t have to.  I actually know how to talk, differently, to each person, how they need to be talked to.

This man is upset about now being able to spend time with me, outside.  He is not the only man upset at the loss of time, and intelligence – lost because of the weight gain you placed in my nose and food.  This weight gain is nothing more than subverting the efforts to gather intelligence.  I’ll write slower, so you can catch up, so you don’t miss it, any weight gain in any product or air is subverting the efforts of our United States intelligence community to gather information.  Congratulations, you stupid fucks.

Let me write it again because no one seems to be getting the point, the United States intelligence and its allies, and our military have been using my outside time as a way to communicate and gather intel, and you’ve allowed women, LGBT persons to subvert those efforts.  That means, you have not been PROTECTING them by doing so.

Englishman, this other FBI man is much better at this work, he is a better listener, and it is important to note, that my former neighbor’s have been plotting, not just against him, just because he is seen as sort of in love with me, and YOU HAVE ALL FAILED AT REALIZING THE POWER AND STRENGTH – OF LOVE!

You all still see me, only superficially.

Yes, my boyfriend, the real Hannibal Lecter is seen in the movie, Zero Dark Thirty, as the Jordanian mole that could be persuaded to serve his country.  Someone must have thought he was important.  The mole is not the real Hannibal Lecter, the mole is how they tried to talk to me about the real Hannibal Lecter whilst I was in my personal doctor’s office.  Friend to all and tiny mole, from the movie, UP, mole means, Wind in The Willows.  There is more code in the movie, and I am not interested in writing about it.  I got it.  Who cares anymore?

I think you people are on another planet of reality, and not understanding what is actually occurring and going on.  It is why I am writing this, specially, to the other FBI man, and the Englishman.

No, David it really hurts my feelings anymore.  I don’t want you here.  I don’t invite you here.  I don’t want to spend time with you anymore, I wanted my boyfriend.  I am not the same woman I was in college who is going to be your Catherine.  That woman died a long time ago. 

I should never have sold my home, and given up caring for my mother, I did it to get married, date and have a real life, and you have all denied that of me, going on seven years now.  Please don’t return to me, David.  Find love and live your life, and don’t return to me.  I can’t keep living through it over and over, watching David with other women, it doesn’t have the same effect anymore.  It is no longer passion, if anyone thought that is what it once was.

I really don’t appreciate the competition after I’ve already chosen a man.  I don’t appreciate this FBI man lying to the real Hannibal Lecter, telling him I was more attractive than I actually am.  More hurt.

The Bourne Legacy: the reporter in London shot in the forehead, was not real, this is my admirer in New Zealand who followed me.  I bought a bag, I used in college, as a book bag, and I wore it crossed over my chest because the strap was so – long.  I liked that bag, very much.

Alaska, the special training site, has anyone figure out what this means?  This used to be a fact, Alaska has a 10 to 1 ratio of men to women.  Well, I guess I like those odds because have been desiring nothing but male company and companionship for years and years, and decades now.  I spoke about this, Alaska, for as long as I can remember. 

It is probably the reason John McCain chose Sarah Palin to be his Vice-Presidential choice.  Well, they got it partly correct.  It should have been a man, a male, if they had used a male VP choice as his running mate, he probably would have won, he would have at least, made it to the general elections.  My mother always like John McCain.

The reporter, Simon Ross, is probably special counsel, or a special advisor to the real White House, to the President.

I am Ezra, in The Bourne Legacy, the Director of the Central Intelligence, and I have been acting the part for some time, although, I am not acting.  Ezra is actually code in symbols, the letter, U, and a symbol that says, opening.  Really, the opening looks like a job, employment, and nothing more.  I am not explaining how I get my answers anymore.

So, me acting the part of the Director of the CIA, by not actually acting, was me, actually drinking at whatever time of day I wanted to, while not working, and so on.  Who was allowed to take this away from me?

No, it looks like the real Hannibal Lecter does not want to read people for the CIA, I guess that’s what really happened at work.

Well, maybe I should be talking to Ric Byer, this is just my admirer who followed me, and yeah, I do a much better job at talking to these men then I’ve seen anyone else do.

Enough trouble, from that scene is an opposite, meaning something good happened because David, David’s face and head said, Australia, when I got back to college, and at the time David appeared to be happy to see me, not that kind of happy to see me.

Does everyone yet understand the difference between David, David’s legs, and this FBI man?  David is seen in the movie, The Peacemaker as working for me, meaning he was able to take orders from me, a woman.  Then, why would anyone want to make this FBI man appear weaker by being a woman/man who was giving me orders?  Am I the only one able to see the harm it would do not only him, but our intelligence communities, as well?

There is more code and decrypting I could do; I am really not interested anymore.  People keep hurting me and my feeling, so I just don’t care anymore.

The ice machine and water in my fridge has been broken because of the General in 12 Strong preferring the vodka, it is a death threat to me, and you allowed it to be created within the company, it is not external, it is from within.

They hired me, to work for the Obama campaign, specifically because of what happened after my surgery in Libya.  They needed to make a quick connection to the White House, and it looks like not much real communication was getting to the correct people, since I didn’t get paid for any work I did on the campaign until, January 2013.  When was my car accident?  January 2013.

There is a reason the movie is titled, 13 Hours, it has to do with my mother’s American Express card while we were on a cruise, on vacation, in the US Virgin Islands, and I don’t want to write anymore about it because my feelings are hurt.

Some wives cry, I clean, from the movie 12 Strong is referring to the movie, Pulp Fiction.  I do not yet know why; however, this looks really true, I am seen as the Cleaner in the movie, Pulp Fiction, and it might have happened when I was in California, and no, I do not believe I was used as a Cleaner, for gangsters.  It is probably why it is a character in the John Wick movies.

The real Papa is seen as Brad Pitt being released from the prison, by me.

Sherlock episode of Scandal:

Catch you later, code: cul, cul-de-sac.

No, you won’t, code: No, woo.

DEEP END, of the pool, code: Dead.

When I ordered a phone when I was caring for my mother, I ordered a phone cover that was red, just for something different, and I used to receive text messages from a, Cody, who said he knew the person who had the number before.  Cody, code: code, why, why, code, it’s an either, or.

Too many hurt feelings, I don’t feel or want to write anymore.

September 28, 2019

Congratulations Untied States of America, you have disappointed me, yet again!

THE TRUTH IS YOU, THAT IS TO SAY OUR UNITED STATES INTELLIGENCE, GOVERNMENT, AND ITS ALLIES ARE ALLOWING OUR ENEMIES TO APPEAR BETTER AND GREATER THAN OUR OWN AND I AM SO GODDAMN PISSSED ABOUT IT, IT IS INTOLERABLE!

THE TRUTH IS, THE UNITED STATES HAS FAILED TO PROTECT ME SINCE I WAS A TEENAGER, AND YOU BETTER FUCKING CORRECT THIS – REAL FUCKING QUICK!

STOP LETTING OUR ENEMIES APPEAR BEFORE THE WORLD’S EYE, AS MY FUCKING PROTECTORS BECAUSE THEY ARE WILLING TO KILL PEOPLE TO PROVE A FUCKING POINT!  YOU GODDAMN MORONS!  DO YOU GET IT?  THEY ARE WILLING TO KILL PEOPLE – JUST TO MAKE A POINT!

GOD-FUCKING-DAMMINT!  STOP LETTING THEM WIN!

I ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN THIS COUNTRY!  DO YOU?!  DO ANY OF YOU?!  OR ARE ALL OF YOU ONLY CONCERNED WITH YOUR OWN AGENDAS AND GODDAMN SCRIPTS?!

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!

EVERYONE BETTER GET ONBOARD, REAL FUCKING QUICK, AS BEING MY PROTECTORS, THAT MEANS THE WHITE HOUSE AND ITS GOVERNMENT, AGENCIES, AND MILITARY, AND ITS ALLIES, AS BEING SEEN AND WORKING AS MY FUCKING PROTECTORS, SO WE CAN SHUT THESE MOTHER-FUCKERS UP!

The rest of my writing, and what I have, you will just have to wait for.  You fucking morons!

Are you actually going to be seen as NOT protecting the White House, and its government – through me?!  Congratulations, United States of America, you have disappointed me, yet again.

September 25, 2019

To begin with, I am not a computer program, or a Google search that you can simply place a query either audibly or inaudibly and always get an immediate response or answer.  If you think about my memories, the actual intel I have in my brain, and the ability to decode I have, that’s a lot of information and data to go through, just to access an answer, not to mention, going back through everything and correcting the misinformation, so if it takes a while, if it takes a few days, if it has taken months, or years, or decades, well, I am only one person, I am not a machine, I am not a program, and I would appreciate being looked at, considered, thought about, viewed, and acknowledged, the fact that I am a real person with real feelings, with real emotions, and not your fucking parlor trick used to entertain people.  There is a difference.

Did anyone understand the difference when I wrote yesterday, how it appears in his mind that he considers it a vacation or a holiday, WHAT THAT ACTUALLY MEANS ABOUT WHAT HE IS THINKING ABOUT?!  ANYONE?!  DID ANYONE THINK BEYOND WHAT I WROTE?  Well, I guess if you’re on holiday, you’re not thinking about blowing people up, or attacking people, are you?

Are you?  You are?  This is an either, or, an either way.

My head is a little full with realizing, before I get to LOST (which, by the way, LOST says, Land Of The Lost, I remember watching this television show in our living room in our home in Simi Valley, California, on one of those great big television sets, that had its own feet, it was so big), realizing, discovering, that the movie, Crazy, Stupid, Love, is also – it is so embarrassing, the amount of attention – about me.  How embarrassing.  Embarrassing also because nearly every female character without going through the whole movie and looking at it, is me.

This other FBI man, (did he, or did he not stop his criminal activity after he appeared before me at my psychology class? Because readers, do it in person, meaning, readers read people in person, this is also code) is seen as Cal, probably code for California, wanting to be married to his wife, me, a woman he has known nearly all of his life, and he didn’t have to sleep with numerous woman to realize he wanted to be with just one woman the rest of his life.

The hot guy from the bar, is a lot, and looks a lot like David, with, if you look at it, Emma Stone’s character being able to convert the hot guy from the bar who sleeps around to, a committed man to the one woman he loves.  David and I did spend one night, just talking, and drinking, mostly talking, all night when we were in college.  It is interesting that Alisha didn’t leave us alone, David and I, as it was obvious, we liked each other.

How many times have I saved David’s life?  College kids having breakfast together, someone asked if I wanted to sit next to David.  No one noticed how fast I responded?  No.  I said, no, so quick, it probably hurt David’s feelings at the time.  Look to your right David, that morning, to my left, sitting at a booth in front of the windows, there is at least two men, and they have a connection to the movie, Munich, and that is why I sat next to Stuart, and literally thought about David’s crotch during the meal.  I would say that is probably too much information; however, there is just too much of me, in too many movies, and television, to be worried about not giving all the details, anymore.

I’m sorry if it hurt your feelings David.  I am also sure; you are quite over it by now.  I was willing to risk hurting your feelings, to save your life.  Got it?

Yeah, I did write for David to visualize the restaurant because he is able to do that in his head, or someone wouldn’t have placed him as me in the Scandal episode of Sherlock, to show people, it looks like, that David was being, under-utilized.

Is it written in the books, is it just in the movie, is Charlie’s character in Twilight written as a moustache wearing man?  Because this is a real photograph of my father and brother in our Plant City home, and my father has a moustache (gross, I really dislike facial hair) with Barney, our perfect English gentleman cat in his lap.

Yes, I did mind that they created a fake marriage between my brother and Roy.  Did anyone notice my brother, wince, when Roy went to kiss him, at their “wedding”.  Winced, as in, grossed out, and, don’t touch me.  And Roy and my brother have never been affectionate to each other.  Why is that?  It doesn’t make sense.

Roy just looks a lot like, Bubba Gump in Forest Gump, if you want to know who the real Bubba Gump is, you’ll have to ask my father.  This would have been a man my father knew, or worked with when we lived in Simi Valley, he is most likely, a man I shouldn’t be able to remember because I was probably somewhere between a few months old to less than four years old.

I just wouldn’t have approved of him to be in my military, probably that is because of his work ethic.  It is his work ethic that is physically demonstrated in the character, Bubba Gump.  It’s a physicalization of his military mind, and work ethic.  It is probably why Bubba Gump dies in the movie.  How many toddlers do you know that can hump a man back to safety after being wounded in battle?

In real life, there was and is probably, nothing wrong with him as a person, so be careful you understand the difference.  If you have a child that is so extraordinary that she can not only interpret Morse code, after NEVER having been formally taught Morse code, see the threat, and then again, interpret the falseness of the threat, and then JFC, figure out to Morse code by blinking – just take a second, think about that, by blinking, that quickly, I figured out how to covertly respond and reply the correct message, and I wasn’t yet old enough to be in elementary school.  So, yeah, I WILL DEMAND AND EXPECT MORE THAN THE BEST – TO BE IN MY MILITARY.

And since when do any of you get to re-write the real truth of MY life?  The bee that stung me while I was sitting on a horse, a bee that went straight for my head, that was obviously, NOT a real bee, being about the birds and the bees, my sex education talk with an intelligence father, and my real father did get the bee out of my hair, who the fuck gets to turn THAT honey, into – GAYNESS?!  YOU PEOPLE ARE DUMB!

If you want me to do a read of Roy, nothing about him looks factually correct.  I didn’t just sit around my house eating a whole container of cookies to gain weight, like Roy.  I really don’t appreciate you using the real Hannibal Lecter to enter – illegally – this home, contaminating and tampering with my soaps to pack on all these lbs, pounds and excess weight.

You’ve used the real Hannibal Lecter negatively, so I will so upset and angry at him, I will break up with him.  And, what straight man do I get to love then?  Because none of you are any good.  I am so humiliated at my present weight.  I am really, really unhappy about every straight man, I love, being turned against me.

If you build it, they will come, is this in the original script for Field of Dreams?  If you build it, they will come, code: If you build it, they, count all the letters and the comma, 17, I was seventeen when I was in Germany, will come, means, will call, like when you order theater tickets and have them placed at will call instead of mailed or any other delivery service, will call says, at the location.  Without watching the whole movie to read it, it doesn’t look specific, meaning, it could be used, will call could be used at or for numerous locations, and functions.

Green Eggs and Ham, green is code: re-gen, meaning it is referring to being able to regenerate organs.  Ham means, Hamburg, Germany, meaning it was believed the Nazi’s were working on the Jews with things like brain research, Sam is code for Sunday, Sunday being the day of the week, Christians and Christian believers go to church, I Am, Sam I Am, I Am means, Christ, Sam I am says, Christ is risen.

The story going around and around about I do not like Green Eggs and Ham, is very difficult, especially for a child and children, to be able to see the difference between the green eggs and ham because you are, people are supposed to denounce, rebuke, and refuse all other gods and idols, other than the real and only Christian God, and His son, Jesus Christ.  That’s really rather difficult and complex and full, for children’s reading.  Yet, so is the Bible, and children read that also.

LOST, one of my mother’s favorite shows.  The pilot episode was the best episode, in my opinion.  I believe I have already written this; I am Jack and Kate in LOST.  Jack says, Jack and Diane the song, it also says Simple Jack from Tropic Thunder, so somehow there is a person/personal connection between the productions of LOST and Tropic Thunder.  Kate is code for tea, and the King James version of the bible, the King James version of my biblical name, Cherith.

Two pieces of publicity stick out in my mind, the turkey sandwich that Hurley brought Jack on set says, the sandwich shop Lenny’s that I’ve had lunch at when I worked at Disney.  And, is this true, is this a true story about Evangeline Lily?  Was she going to be a missionary?  A model?  I am a little suspicious.

The island is just another way to describe or show, a mind palace, the airplane crash is probably for me to realize 9/11 was about me.  Jack immediately is the character seen as the only person capable and able to control, manage, delegate, and solve the island and the plane crash.

Here is the first thing I saw, when I re-watched it: Do you know him?  This dialogue is unusual, it is a tell.  Do you know him?  The audience (should) then question why and how about Kate, does she want him to live or die because that is what Jack understood.

The tail of the plane is the tail at LAX who was following one of the intelligence persons, not me, one of the intelligence person who were following me, and I wouldn’t have looked back, I wouldn’t have given them that, it would be like giving someone an edge over you.

My mother, loved, loved, loved, loved, really loved the character John Locke.  Sort of like, he is such a man, loved him.  It does look like someone wanted to make an association between my Babee Bear and John Locke with the cut over his eye.  My mother loved John Locke’s character, like a little goofy over John Locke’s character.  There is a bit of an Englishman in John Locke’s character.

Rose is my mother.  How did they get this specific costume clothing choice for Rose?  That color and knit sweater, sort of cardigan, I’ve actually owned and worn, in real life.  I bought with my mother when we went shopping at the then, Eastlake mall, it is no longer a consumer mall, it is now a business complex.  It was an outfit with a tank, an unbuttoned or open cardigan/jacket, and a skirt that was just a little longer than a mini-skirt, I purchased these items in at least, two colors.  Mini-skirt-ish would say to people, Germany.  The work I did in Germany.

I’ve also, worked, for a month or so, at Eastlake mall, that, at the time, I was working an FAQ line for AOL accounts.  Email didn’t use to be free.  It used to be a service.  Now, get this, on my first day at this company, I wore a cotton skirt, a tank top, and a cardigan type to cover my arms, and also because in hot weather like Florida, when you go in and out of air-conditioning being able to have something light like a cardigan to take on and off, is actually valuable.  And, Merrell thong-type sandals.  A man commented on my outfit on my first day and shoes, it is the only reason I still remember what I wore because I did not like that job.

It means because he commented on my clothing, someone was caught either that day or near-abouts because of me.  This also happened when I was at Blizzard Beach, one of Disney’s water parks, an employee working at a shack-type stand, commented on my bathing suit, like, I like your bathing suit, he was referring to my bum, it means they actually caught someone on Disney property that day because they were following me, this is pre-surgery, 2012.

So, I am guessing, someone didn’t do a very good job at managing me there, at the AOL facility.  I would ask someone a question, like a manager, where is my manager’s desk?  And, the answer I got in response, was basically for me to walk the entire building and figure it out myself.  So, what the fuck were you people doing?

My manager happened to be a black man, an African American, and he didn’t instill a lot of confidence in me, meaning, it looked like no one there knew what the fuck they, or I, was doing there.  I also, didn’t like the shift I was on, that ended at 1am.  The drive home for me, at that time of night, in that part of po-dunk, hill-billy-ville town, I did not trust.

Now, Zero Dark Thirty, Dark is code for: ark, meaning Noah’s ark, and the arc of the covenant in Raider’s of The Lost Ark, and Covenant is the name of a church I’ve attended, and they met on Sunday’s at The Women’s Center in Plant City.  Noah’s ark is significant because there actually was a Noah that worked with me in that AOL facility, he had reddish-brown hair, and he was married, and it was a little surprising because he was so young to be married, and this Noah, get this, wanted to be a person who did movie scores for films.

I had no confidence in that job or place, I went to work for another call-center, and that was so bad I called my mother nearly every break, not a good sign, I tried to only call her only at lunch, and I just couldn’t do it, I called every break, not a good sign.  So, I have no idea what the fuck you people did there either.

It looks like what you’ve people have done is used me for intelligence whenever I wasn’t working.  Meaning when I was employed, the only opportunities our own intelligence had to utilize me was, when I was not on a call, but clocked in.  You got to be kidding me.  Our own intelligence couldn’t get APPROVAL to use me unofficially within employers – otherwise?

Do you get it?  That’s the billions of dollars being spent.  Billions, some of it, just because you could only use me if it was AFTER I ALREADY DID MY PAYING WORK.  It is about the equivalent in thought and thinking, after you’ve finished all your chores, and your homework, then you can watch television.  Do you get it?  Do you see it?  THAT IS HOW OUR OWN INTELLIGENCE HAS BEEN USING ME TO CAPTURE, NOT ONLY KNOWN TERRORISTS, BUT TO CREATE MILITARY PLANS!

It’s very disturbing because it is and makes our intelligence look, pathetic.

Oh please, oh please, oh please, be my prisoner from the movie, UP is a read about how prisoners and detainee’s can be won over by me because of my person.  And, Russell saying we can’t let Dug take Kevin as a prisoner is just to show, I shouldn’t be living my life, capturing terrorists and criminals at the exclusion of not having a real life, getting married, having a boyfriend, and so on.

The terrible noise, mist, and vapor on the island of LOST is brain research.  The pilot getting killed, going through the windshield of the plane happens because I was not supposed to leave California, or return to Michael.  Now, I don’t want to be in California.

I don’t know who this person is that wakes me up all night long, and I really did not appreciate the sex dreams someone placed in my head last night, especially since none of those women, were me.  Gross.

I never wanted to act or be involved in theater after 9/11.  It just wasn’t the same anymore, probably because I just couldn’t pretend anymore.

Is there anyone able to stop David from driving around my house, being in my home, and most importantly, lying to me?  No one had noticed all he does is hurt my feelings?  He is never with me; he is also with other women.  No wonder, I’m hurt and sad, every time I see him.

No, I really want nothing to do with Benedict Cumberbatch, in real life.  I really don’t appreciate being used in this way.  My heart’s been broken; again, therefore, my mind is of no use, anymore.

September 24, 2019

Here is some more misinformation that you can stop believing in, since it seems I am the only one who truly has the correct answers, either that, or everyone else has been happy to purposefully get it wrong, just so they can keep repeating it over and over and over again.

The belt, wearing a belt, my belt(s), whatever color they are, my belts, why Maya in Zero Dark Thirty is wearing a snug-fitting shirt, not tucked into her pants or slacks, anyone?  Want to guess?  Or would you like to know the truth and the real answer?  It is so unimpressively, uninteresting, I cannot believe anyone has made such a big deal, about a stupid belt.  Guess what?  Cherith in real life, is not tall, no one would consider me a tall woman, I am short, and specifically, I am – short-waisted.

A belt, everyone has been making such a deal about a belt, Cherith is short-waisted, meaning from the top of my shoulders to my bustline, to my waist, to my the tops of my hips – because this is how they think and consider it in fashion terms, language, and speak (I am being very specific and careful because you have an interpreter nearby and I don’t always trust interpreters, I really, actually prefer – not to upset and anger people with misinformation, and yes you all should be worried he doesn’t escape; however, let me finish writing and you’ll see why I am not buying cigarettes at present), is very short.

I am not worried about him.  He considers this a holiday, or a vacation.  Does he have information?  Or are you only interested to see how I react to him?  At what age do any of you think I was working with these men?

Did he just chuckle?  A little laugh?

It is also mentioned, again, in Sherlock, I thought you were taller.  Cherith is short-waisted, so guess what she does to improve her appearance, she doesn’t tuck her shirts into her pants, so it gives the appearance of looking taller.  It is just a detail that has been noticed.  And I really did not like to wear, when I was fat and heavy, ill, or improperly sized clothes and clothing.  As a woman, an American woman working and living in the United States, all my clothes and clothing say, appropriate and fashionably sensible.

What does he want to give you now?  Information?

Be careful no one misreads this information from Sherlock also, for protection, Irene Adler using photographs on her phone for – protection, code: pro, tech, ion, meaning, there were people within intelligence communities that were aware, knew, and understood that not everyone could access Cherith, Cherith’s brain and mind; however, when the correct person did access Cherith, she handled herself like a pro, a pro meaning better than the average appearance, and better than most people knew or could understand from her every-day appearance.

Did the real Hannibal Lecter yesterday happen to look at a photograph of a man while I was writing and typing and because the real Hannibal Lecter was looking at this man, I wrote the paragraph about man not being able to serve two Masters?  Is this true?  Because the boat is not supposed to blow up in real life from the movie, The Legend of 1900.  That’s me as Max, as 1900’s friend in the movie, in real life, being able to befriend him and bring him to who he really is, his true person, that is not a monster, or murderer.

Before I continue writing, it would have been really nice if I had not lost a week, and weeks because of weight-gain and the A/C having to be worked on that has cooked my brain causing me to recover, yet again, from someone else’s incompetence.  I am also not interested in showing false support by driving around in my vehicle at this present weight, so don’t look for me any time soon.  Again, I am not interested in showing false support by being seen at this grotesque weight.

It has been used this way previously, any cigarette purchase has been connected to a number of my weight, and well, I do not want to be anyone else’s number other than my own.  I do not like being fat.  I do not enjoy being heavy and fat.  I do not want to weigh this number that is soooooo high and getting higher.  The reasons you let my weight get sooooo out-of-control is completely irrational.

Do you believe this story, that’s the concrete data point, I’m looking for, I’m cool with it, bro’ (either with or without the bro’ because it looks like my copy of Zero Dark Thirty has been edited with the word bro being removed), these lines of dialogue, and I understand, by locating the courier, we’ve located Bin Laden.  Would anyone like to know what this really means and how this actually happened?  It was, again, in the mind, of one man, one trusted man, and I, I am the only person that responded.  Not just the only woman, I am the only person that responded.

It is almost too unbelievable to be true.  Here is what this looks like: I am going to do my best to write this, so everyone will be able to visualize it the way I see it in my mind, it looks like there was a trusted butler-type of man, a man capable of thinking and not just a butler, in an important household of some lineage, and it does look English, an English household and an Englishman, who was trusted with literally just thinking at the time when a broadcast was going to be on live, on live television, in my time zone.  An Englishman thought, I do not believe he thought a name, or something as non-specific as terrorist, he thought something like Al Qaeda, he had several photographs, no names to the photographs, and one of them was me, most likely the last photograph of me at Disney as a brunette, this man thought, and I made my purchase of a coffeepot set from Ireland, during St. Patrick’s day, most likely, 2011 from a television network that sells merchandise, and it looks like I am the only person, who responded, it is difficult to believe; however, it looks like, I am the only one, the only person who understood the information and responded and gave them the information – with a purchase.

You don’t mind if my female colleague checks out your junk, from Zero Dark Thirty, do not get this wrong, this is NOT about looking at a detainee’s penis, or crotch, this is about our garage in our Plant City home, of females and women, and neighbor’s spying on my father through the garage window while he changed his clothes to work outside.  Also, it is a sight line because of the A/C unit attached to the garage that my father used, the garage was mostly used by my father, he watched television in there, from the garage window, out the other side of the garage, follow that line to a neighbor that used to live there a few or several streets and houses away, and this is a colleague working against their own agency person’s to achieve career superiority over a man.  And, yeah, I do mind, and yeah, it has not yet been dealt with.  Anyone want to fix this?

Also, in Sherlock, referring to Sherlock’s apartment as a toxic dump, and so on, in our Plant City home, the litter box was in the garage.  Also, my father had boxes and boxes of paperwork of nothing, boxes from the floor to nearly the ceiling of – junk.  I couldn’t stand it, I am very fastidious, I do not like, nor appreciate being surrounded by uselessness, especially if it serves no purpose for any logical reason, and it is also a read of how I feel about my father is actually treated at his employment, meaning I do not believe my father is treated very well.  They’ve taken advantage of his financial situation and treated him appallingly, at times.  I am not actually certain if they have purposefully given my father food that was expired and had bugs in it, on purpose, or not.  If you have never been poor in your life, then it is possible, you have no understanding of what it means, to not know where your next meal is going to come from.

Be careful everyone understands this, I am not Casey’s friend.  We haven’t been friends.  Friending a person on Facebook is not the same, as being a real friend.  I am not her friend.  Not now nor have I ever approved of her.  Know the difference.  Doesn’t Casey have a drug problem?  Did she use my brother?  No, I do not approve.  We are not friends.  Just another person using a straight man to get to me because they cannot do the work without them because they cannot do the work.

Are you stupid?  Same-sex coupes cannot have children unless they adopt them.  Is there actually someone who believed that was the real purpose behind adopting Teddy from the movie, The Rescuers, meant?!

Everyone be certain you understand, I want nothing to do with Meghan and Harry.  Nothing.  Either separately, or together, I want nothing to do with them.  Nothing.  These two alone have taken real love I’ve had for real straight men and shattered it.  I want nothing from this.  I am more than hurt.

I am so disgusted by my own country at this moment, I have to stop writing.

Not Working: Day 3

September 23, 2019

Everyone do the world, a favor, stop decoding the movies, and, wow, at this point, your own intelligence.  I can’t believe it; I literally cannot believe all the decades of misinformation you’ve allowed yourselves to believe all these years.

You are all dumb fucks!  Right Bed, Wrong Husband and an actor by the stage name of David Baker as a very overweight, nearly three hundred pound man that probably never had to worry about NOT  being cast in the production, who’s this fucking asshole that thought and interpreted the UK, Baker street, Downing street, the goddamn, fucking English, as fucking OVERWEIGHT AS CORRECT?!  YOU STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLES!  YOU STUPID FUCKING MORONS!  THAT’S A GODDAMN, FUCKING TERRORIST – I FUCKING CAUGHT AND CAPTURED AND DEALT WITH AS A FUCKING TEENAGER IN GODDAMN FUCKING GERMANY!  YOU STUPID FUCKS!

GET THIS FUCKING SHIT STRAIGHT AND FUCKING CORRECT – IMMEDIATELY!  YOU STUPID FUCKS!

YOU FUCKING MORONS ARE PLACING GODDAMN FUCKING DEATH THREATS ON FUCKING PEOPLE – BY MY GODDMAN WEIGHT ALONE – AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW IT!

It has certainly been the truth since I visited my family’s new home in Plant City, Florida before I moved there.  I had gained close to, if not more, in a – week, a fucking week, ten pounds.  Was this in soap, alone?!

Let’s get this corrected, before you have more dumb, fucking, morons going out there and wanting to fucking KILL people because YOU DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE DOING!

This scene, in Charlotte Grey, of the brunette woman, after the dialogue of, you’re not from around here, of her turning to her left over her shoulder, and looking to the camera  that is supposed to be the actress’ point of view, and the brunette actress’ tears and reaction, are pretty close to the real of the real brunette woman I’ve seen, who would REALLY be in a lot of trouble if and when it was DISCOVERED what she had done.  She is also, Lot’s wife, not me, in Silence of The Lambs.  SHE, not, I would be the one to be in trouble, it makes it look as though people suspected her for being the woman responsible for getting me off the phones, when the 9/11 attacks occurred. 

Let’s make sure everyone understands, in film, in cinema, Lot’s wife is code for, double agent, working against the United States and its allies.  Got it?!

Every single person, including the real Hannibal Lecter, need to GET YOUR FUCKING ASSES INTO A GODDAMN INTERROGATION ROOM, TO THE FUCKING POLICE STATIONS, TO THE GODDAMN, FUCKING FBI, AND CONFESS AND ADMIT TO – EVERY, AND I MEAN EVERY OCCURANCE OF ENTERING MY HOMES AND ALTERING EVERY SINGLE PRODUCT YOU HAVE, IN ANY WAY!  THESE CONFESSIONS WILL BE SAVING YOUR GODDAMN – LIVES!  REAL FUCKING SERIOUS!

YOU FUCKING MORONS DO NOT UNDERSTAND THEM – THE WAY, I DO, AND KNOW HOW TO UNDERSTAND THEM!  YOUR FUCKING WAY HAS BEEN WORKING SO FUCKING GOOD, YOU’VE GOTTEN THE WORLD TRADE CENTER BLOWN UP AND HOW MANY PEOPLES LIVES HAVE BEEN LOST?!  I WILL NOT BE FUCKING APOLOGIZING FOR FUCKING SWEARING MY GODDAMN FUCKING HEAD OFF WHEN I KNOW A BETTER WAY!

I LITERALLY CANNOT STAND THIS DUMB STUPID NOTION, OF ANY POLITICAL FIGURES AND WORLD LEADERS BEING SEEN AND CONNECTED TO DIAPER WEARING – OR ANY FUCKING MORONS, I DO NOT APRROVE OF!

HEY, GUESS WHAT?  TAKE A FUCKING BREAK!  STOP WORKING SO GODDAMN HARD!  I FUCKING GOT IT NOW!  SO, WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING BEFORE – KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!  I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK, I‘M DOING!

FOR INSTANCE, stop working the real Hannibal Lecter, as a monster.  A Monster.  Just because it is in the movie, Silence Of The Lambs, in dialogue, he is a monster.  Do you know who this really is?!  The real monster that is spoken about in dialogue, FBI, it is not the real Hannibal Lecter, it is Charles Manson, and Charles Manson is seen as Aaron/Roy in the movie, Primal Fear.

Charles Manson really is not that smart.  Any person who wants to follow after that idiot, you’re stupid!  Why this moron decided to “create” this Charles Manson persona, is not very interesting.

The fact that Edward Norton, an actor, I like, and believe is a very good actor, did not act very well (my opinion), in that movie, is very telling.  It means there are problems, or were in that movie, and Edward Norton’s conscience did not allow him to give (unless he was otherwise directed) a more credible, or believable performance.

The Legend of 1900 is supposed to be about the real Hannibal Lecter.  Tim Roth and the playing love scene, are significant, Tim Roth being an actor who, previous to the Legend of 1900, if Tim Roth was going to be in a movie, you knew there would be dead bodies, near him because of him, or somehow dead bodies would appear in the film.  Tim Roth was not usually cast as a romantic lead. 

The piano playing is just a metaphor, or visual, for brain-thinking, and mental ability.  The scene with 1900 and Jelly-Roll Morton (pay not attention to the word Jelly-Roll, it is not code for anything) is to show that the real Hannibal Lecter has such a great mind, and not many, if any people can out-think him in real life.  The boat is just a reference as prison, meaning the real Hannibal Lecter is never getting out of prison.

Why David played “Cruz” at The Container Store, I have no idea.  Why a woman dressed up as David as “Cruz” at The Container Store, I have no idea.  Neither of them are in any way a proxy to the real Hannibal Lecter.  None of them have the thinking ability the real Hannibal Lecter has.

Why they FUCK HAVE YOU GODDAMN MORONS BEEN WORKING HIM, THEY WAY YOU HAVE?!  HE IS A PUSSYCAT FOR ME, AND HE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE!  SO, IF YOU CAN’T DO IT!  IF YOU CAN’T TURN MEN LIKE THE REAL HANNIBAL LECTER INTO PUSSYCATS – GET OUT OF MY GODDAMN WAY!  BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN!  GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY GODDAMN WAY BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN!

If David and/or Brianna in any way did things like putting weight-gainer in my personal soap or grooming products it means he was trying to humiliate me, for him, David, having feelings for me.  David being a man unable to deal with his own feelings, one reason he has a Wilt Chamberlain complex.  Wilt Chamberlain complex meaning, one woman will never be enough to sexually satisfy him, David.  No wonder I don’t have romantic feelings for David anymore.

None of you have understood that it is simply not possible to place a man in front of me and tell me, in any way, they, the man has feelings for me, or loves me.  As if then, I am supposed to have feelings for the man because the man has feelings for me.  Who is this person that has no understanding of real love?

If David, was so stupid as to place weight-gainer in anything, at all, it is no wonder he has had death threats placed on him.  He did it to himself.  And anyone, like Brianna who might have helped him, helped in placing death threats on David.  Not me.  I have been saving your lives.

Laughing at me, laughing at me because I am so fat and huge, is extremely hurtful to me, still.  From every person that I see it from, I am still hurt.  No one has asked for forgiveness in the harm they have caused me.  Including, the real Hannibal Lecter.  Being sorry and asking for forgiveness are not the same thing.  I wrote, I would have, would have approved, I didn’t say or write, I had already given my approval.  I had to see and work with the real Hannibal Lecter for me to give approval.

Because you have blown up my body size and weight these last few weeks, I am beyond in my pain and hurt, and emotional distress.

Man, cannot serve two Masters.  In case anyone fails to understand that, it also means women, cannot serve two Masters.  Whom do you choose?  God?  Revenge?  Hate?  Cruelty?  Anger?  Crimes?  Retaliation?  Murder?  Suicide?  Apathy?  Ignorance?  Whom do you choose?  Who do you love?

I need four safe houses, this scene from the movie, Zero Dark Thirty, is not just referencing my real father, it says, I’ve done this before, as a wee, little girl, I’ve saved grown men as a child before, so, have a little faith.  Cherith knows what she is doing.

If the real Hannibal Lecter is nothing more than a monster to you, then you are doing it wrong and not looking at him the way I have and would, so why is that?

Is this man, after the California restaurant, did he actually send me back to Florida, on purpose?  One thing it says is that he is afraid, or was, of being a better man.

Bella yelling at Jacob for imprinting on her daughter in Twilight, is, my mother, my mother didn’t like David.  Obvious now, why my mother didn’t like David, she might have liked him had he gotten to know her, and he never did that.  And now, he can’t, anymore.

If the only reason you placed David at Home Depot and said, so not a leader with him in black paint, and then recreated the scene at my current home with renovating the balcony and creating a light that will no longer turn on and off, unless it is fixed or repaired, just says there was a death threat, most likely, when I lived in Plant City and my mother had a handyman place a bolt, on the sliding glass doors of our home before we had a pool and sunroom.  He drilled a hole and placed a pin bolt, on a chain that could be placed from the inside of the house through the two doors, so the sliding glass doors could not open more than a few inches.

Have you been wicked, your highness, from Sherlock, code: HUB, this is the computer program Disney employees used when I worked there, for information and news, Have, You, Been: HUB.  Wicked, is for George W. Bush, I voted for Al Gore’s ticket.  Your Highness, this is just to show I was helping BOTH HOUSES, BOTH THE US AND THE UK.  BECAUSE IRENE ADLER AND THE RED-HEADED WOMAN ARE THE SAME WOMAN – ME!

She prefers, Dominatrix, code:  She prefers.  Period, all-stop.  That is the end of the sentence.  She prefers, and you are then supposed to place the correct she in that sentence.  If you thought Dominatrix is code for the actor Dom De Luise, well, follow that if you want to, it will get you – nowhere.

I am so grossly upset angry about my weight and it not being what it was, 109, for so many years.  Angry.  Mad.  How dare you treat me this way.  Mad.  I’ve done nothing to deserve this.

Not Working: Day 2

September 23, 2019

Everyone do the world, a favor, stop decoding the movies, and, wow, at this point, your own intelligence.  I can’t believe it; I literally cannot believe all the decades of misinformation you’ve allowed yourselves to believe all these years.

You are all dumb fucks!  Right Bed, Wrong Husband and an actor by the stage name of David Baker as a very overweight, nearly three hundred pound man that probably never had to worry about NOT  being cast in the production, who’s this fucking asshole that thought and interpreted the UK, Baker street, Downing street, the goddamn, fucking English, as fucking OVERWEIGHT AS CORRECT?!  YOU STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLES!  YOU STUPID FUCKING MORONS!  THAT’S A GODDAMN, FUCKING TERRORIST – I FUCKING CAUGHT AND CAPTURED AND DEALT WITH AS A FUCKING TEENAGER IN GODDAMN FUCKING GERMANY!  YOU STUPID FUCKS!

GET THIS FUCKING SHIT STRAIGHT AND FUCKING CORRECT – IMMEDIATELY!  YOU STUPID FUCKS!

YOU FUCKING MORONS ARE PLACING GODDAMN FUCKING DEATH THREATS ON FUCKING PEOPLE – BY MY GODDMAN WEIGHT ALONE – AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW IT!

It has certainly been the truth since I visited my family’s new home in Plant City, Florida before I moved there.  I had gained close to, if not more, in a – week, a fucking week, ten pounds.  Was this in soap, alone?!

Let’s get this corrected, before you have more dumb, fucking, morons going out there and wanting to fucking KILL people because YOU DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE DOING!

This scene, in Charlotte Grey, of the brunette woman, after the dialogue of, you’re not from around here, of her turning to her left over her shoulder, and looking to the camera  that is supposed to be the actress’ point of view, and the brunette actress’ tears and reaction, are pretty close to the real of the real brunette woman I’ve seen, who would REALLY be in a lot of trouble if and when it was DISCOVERED what she had done.  She is also, Lot’s wife, not me, in Silence of The Lambs.  SHE, not, I would be the one to be in trouble, it makes it look as though people suspected her for being the woman responsible for getting me off the phones, when the 9/11 attacks occurred. 

Let’s make sure everyone understands, in film, in cinema, Lot’s wife is code for, double agent, working against the United States and its allies.  Got it?!

Every single person, including the real Hannibal Lecter, need to GET YOUR FUCKING ASSES INTO A GODDAMN INTERROGATION ROOM, TO THE FUCKING POLICE STATIONS, TO THE GODDAMN, FUCKING FBI, AND CONFESS AND ADMIT TO – EVERY, AND I MEAN EVERY OCCURANCE OF ENTERING MY HOMES AND ALTERING EVERY SINGLE PRODUCT YOU HAVE, IN ANY WAY!  THESE CONFESSIONS WILL BE SAVING YOUR GODDAMN – LIVES!  REAL FUCKING SERIOUS!

YOU FUCKING MORONS DO NOT UNDERSTAND THEM – THE WAY, I DO, AND KNOW HOW TO UNDERSTAND THEM!  YOUR FUCKING WAY HAS BEEN WORKING SO FUCKING GOOD, YOU’VE GOTTEN THE WORLD TRADE CENTER BLOWN UP AND HOW MANY PEOPLES LIVES HAVE BEEN LOST?!  I WILL NOT BE FUCKING APOLOGIZING FOR FUCKING SWEARING MY GODDAMN FUCKING HEAD OFF WHEN I KNOW A BETTER WAY!

I LITERALLY CANNOT STAND THIS DUMB STUPID NOTION, OF ANY POLITICAL FIGURES AND WORLD LEADERS BEING SEEN AND CONNECTED TO DIAPER WEARING – OR ANY FUCKING MORONS, I DO NOT APRROVE OF!

HEY, GUESS WHAT?  TAKE A FUCKING BREAK!  STOP WORKING SO GODDAMN HARD!  I FUCKING GOT IT NOW!  SO, WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING BEFORE – KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!  I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK, I‘M DOING!

FOR INSTANCE, stop working the real Hannibal Lecter, as a monster.  A Monster.  Just because it is in the movie, Silence Of The Lambs, in dialogue, he is a monster.  Do you know who this really is?!  The real monster that is spoken about in dialogue, FBI, it is not the real Hannibal Lecter, it is Charles Manson, and Charles Manson is seen as Aaron/Roy in the movie, Primal Fear.

Charles Manson really is not that smart.  Any person who wants to follow after that idiot, you’re stupid!  Why this moron decided to “create” this Charles Manson persona, is not very interesting.

The fact that Edward Norton, an actor, I like, and believe is a very good actor, did not act very well (my opinion), in that movie, is very telling.  It means there are problems, or were in that movie, and Edward Norton’s conscience did not allow him to give (unless he was otherwise directed) a more credible, or believable performance.

The Legend of 1900 is supposed to be about the real Hannibal Lecter.  Tim Roth and the playing love scene, are significant, Tim Roth being an actor who, previous to the Legend of 1900, if Tim Roth was going to be in a movie, you knew there would be dead bodies, near him because of him, or somehow dead bodies would appear in the film.  Tim Roth was not usually cast as a romantic lead. 

The piano playing is just a metaphor, or visual, for brain-thinking, and mental ability.  The scene with 1900 and Jelly-Roll Morton (pay not attention to the word Jelly-Roll, it is not code for anything) is to show that the real Hannibal Lecter has such a great mind, and not many, if any people can out-think him in real life.  The boat is just a reference as prison, meaning the real Hannibal Lecter is never getting out of prison.

Why David played “Cruz” at The Container Store, I have no idea.  Why a woman dressed up as David as “Cruz” at The Container Store, I have no idea.  Neither of them are in any way a proxy to the real Hannibal Lecter.  None of them have the thinking ability the real Hannibal Lecter has.

Why they FUCK HAVE YOU GODDAMN MORONS BEEN WORKING HIM, THEY WAY YOU HAVE?!  HE IS A PUSSYCAT FOR ME, AND HE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE!  SO, IF YOU CAN’T DO IT!  IF YOU CAN’T TURN MEN LIKE THE REAL HANNIBAL LECTER INTO PUSSYCATS – GET OUT OF MY GODDAMN WAY!  BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN!  GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY GODDAMN WAY BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN!

If David and/or Brianna in any way did things like putting weight-gainer in my personal soap or grooming products it means he was trying to humiliate me, for him, David, having feelings for me.  David being a man unable to deal with his own feelings, one reason he has a Wilt Chamberlain complex.  Wilt Chamberlain complex meaning, one woman will never be enough to sexually satisfy him, David.  No wonder I don’t have romantic feelings for David anymore.

None of you have understood that it is simply not possible to place a man in front of me and tell me, in any way, they, the man has feelings for me, or loves me.  As if then, I am supposed to have feelings for the man because the man has feelings for me.  Who is this person that has no understanding of real love?

If David, was so stupid as to place weight-gainer in anything, at all, it is no wonder he has had death threats placed on him.  He did it to himself.  And anyone, like Brianna who might have helped him, helped in placing death threats on David.  Not me.  I have been saving your lives.

Laughing at me, laughing at me because I am so fat and huge, is extremely hurtful to me, still.  From every person that I see it from, I am still hurt.  No one has asked for forgiveness in the harm they have caused me.  Including, the real Hannibal Lecter.  Being sorry and asking for forgiveness are not the same thing.  I wrote, I would have, would have approved, I didn’t say or write, I had already given my approval.  I had to see and work with the real Hannibal Lecter for me to give approval.

Because you have blown up my body size and weight these last few weeks, I am beyond in my pain and hurt, and emotional distress.

Man, cannot serve two Masters.  In case anyone fails to understand that, it also means women, cannot serve two Masters.  Whom do you choose?  God?  Revenge?  Hate?  Cruelty?  Anger?  Crimes?  Retaliation?  Murder?  Suicide?  Apathy?  Ignorance?  Whom do you choose?  Who do you love?

I need four safe houses, this scene from the movie, Zero Dark Thirty, is not just referencing my real father, it says, I’ve done this before, as a wee, little girl, I’ve saved grown men as a child before, so, have a little faith.  Cherith knows what she is doing.

If the real Hannibal Lecter is nothing more than a monster to you, then you are doing it wrong and not looking at him the way I have and would, so why is that?

Is this man, after the California restaurant, did he actually send me back to Florida, on purpose?  One thing it says is that he is afraid, or was, of being a better man.

Bella yelling at Jacob for imprinting on her daughter in Twilight, is, my mother, my mother didn’t like David.  Obvious now, why my mother didn’t like David, she might have liked him had he gotten to know her, and he never did that.  And now, he can’t, anymore.

If the only reason you placed David at Home Depot and said, so not a leader with him in black paint, and then recreated the scene at my current home with renovating the balcony and creating a light that will no longer turn on and off, unless it is fixed or repaired, just says there was a death threat, most likely, when I lived in Plant City and my mother had a handyman place a bolt, on the sliding glass doors of our home before we had a pool and sunroom.  He drilled a hole and placed a pin bolt, on a chain that could be placed from the inside of the house through the two doors, so the sliding glass doors could not open more than a few inches.

I am so grossly upset angry about my weight and it not being what it was, 109, for so many years.  Angry.  Mad.  How dare you treat me this way.  Mad.  I’ve done nothing to deserve this.

Not Working: Day 2

September 22, 2019

Yeah, I am still fucking pissed about my weight; however, I cannot just NOT write this information when I know the answers to the questions, and guess what?  Zero Dark Thirty, is not yet over.  Although Bin Laden is dead, I wouldn’t still – it’s not over.

On 9/11/2001, they would have had help from within my employer at the time, without realizing the implications of their actions.

When this man spoke the word, try, try and have a nice day, he was not brain-speaking to me, he was thinking about what was going to happen that day, and THAT’S why my fucking alarm went off in my head.

Understand, I wasn’t going to go to work for Hilton, it was too far of a drive, too far away.  THEY wanted me there, they told me so in the group orientation before my interview.  THEY FUCKING SOLD ME ON WORKING THERE, by selling me on PAYING FOR MY COLLEGE EDUCATION.  THIS IS BIG, BIGGER THAN ANYONE HAS GIVEN NOTICE ABOUT.

I was off the phones when the attacks happened – ON PURPOSE!  SO, WASHINGTON, DC COULDN’T REACH ME PERSONALLY BY PHONE!

I was in a training room, been trained on a new program, I happened to be THE PERSON who alerted the trainer about a message of planes hitting The World Trade Center, and the trainer, a woman, disregarded the information I gave, and continued with the training.

When training was over and EVERYONE got the message about the planes, I WENT STRAIGHT TO THE BREAK ROOM AND STARTED WATCHING THE NEWS!  A message was sent to me through a man I liked at work, who had a brother that also worked there, and he told me, after reading his personal phone, that it was terrorists that hit The World Trade Center, I am about to blow your mind because I didn’t believe him.

Want to know why?  Because the truth is, it wasn’t terrorists, it was businessmen.  I spoke with a businessman over the phone, and there is a whole lot of money going around that is not strapped to C-4, and other explosives.  I believe them to be businessmen, not radical terrorists.  It’s a difference.

So, be careful you don’t put them all in the same pile, as – terrorists. 

Businessmen.

And, for the love of God, it’s a bit rude that noise, from Sherlock, JFC, this is just about men, noticing me, hold on, sighing, sighing on the phone, or sitting waiting for calls, it’s just a goddamn sigh.  It means, I’m exacerbated, I’m frustrated, I’m dealing with a lot of emotions, of lot of strain upon my person, and I sighed – a lot – at Disney.  It means, let me explain further, YOU AREN’T FUCKING HELPING ME, IF I AM FUCKING SIGH!  YOU ARE MAKING IT WORSE!  SO, GET OFF THE FUCKING TEAM!  WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU HAVE PEOPLE AROUND ME TO MAKE THINGS WORSE RATHER THAN FOR THE BETTER OR GOOD UNLESS YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES, WANT THE TERRORISTS AND BUSINESSMEN – TO FUCKING WIN!  GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT!

STOP LETTING THEM WIN!

I don’t care if no one believes me, I know the truth; they slaughtered our forward deploy, from Zero Dark Thirty, this is referencing what they DID to my mother, and my cats.  I should never have given up caring for my mother.

Not Working: Day 1

September 22, 2019

Since you’ve all failed to notice how unappreciative I am that you delivered DEATH to my door by excess weight and fat upon my body, I am not writing anything until I am the body size I want to be!

Fatty, fatty, two by four – CAN’T GET THROUGH THE KITCHEN DOOR!

Fat, fatty in NOT nourished!

I was HEALTHIER BEFORE YOU FUCKS TURNED MY BODY INTO A LAB EXPERIMENT!

No, I really NOW, do not wish or want to meet the California man who is seen in the movie, Meet Joe Black.

At this moment, I am not sure either David or the real Hannibal Lecter can ever make it up to me.

GET THESE GODDAMN STARS OFF MY FUCKING PROPERTY AND THESE GODDAMN BORIS JOHNSON MOSQUITOS!

FUCKING FAT AS HELL AND HUGE AS HELL!  I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF YOU!

FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT WITHOUT ME!   YOU’RE ALL SO FUCKING SMART!  RIGHT?! 

IF IT’S NOT ONE WOMAN I AM ATTACKED BY IT IS ANOTHER WOMAN!

GO AWAY DAVID!  GO AWAY THE REAL HANNIBAL LECTER!  GO AWAY ALL OF YOU!  I WILL NOT THANK YOU FOR HURTING ME AND MY FEELINGS!

NO LONGER WORKING: DAY 1

September 21, 2019

Be aware, be advised: I don’t love you California, not anymore.  You’ve made a fatal mistake.  I don’t love California anymore.  A very, real, and serious mistake has been made.  I don’t love California, like I used to.

All the years of my boyfriend laughing at me because I was so fat and overweight, this truth, is unbearable, and truly hurtful.

The fact that people keep pushing this weight gain as a means and way to try and get me killed, are beyond reproach.  It means “honest”, “law-abiding citizens” have found themselves, wanting me dead, and using criminals, and pushing their buttons as a way, for me, to die, and to be dead.

The love I once had for you David, is gone.  How dare you chose, Brianna and Courtney over me.  You are disgusting.

My former boyfriend, the real Hannibal Lecter, I, just, cannot, anymore.  I cannot be seen by a man who is supposedly supposed to love me, be seen, as such a joke, that causing me something like PID, means nothing to him.  I have been nothing more than a means of survival within prison to him.  I am so ashamed of him.

All the years, of joy and happiness, and laughter I’ve brought people, I wish, at this moment, I had never done.

There is not a single man I know who is worthy of me.

I am hurt more than words can say.