WHY AM I BEING MADE TO SMELL FAT TIRE?! THESE PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN VIRTUALLY BEING MOVED TO WASHINGTON DC AND THE FUTURE OF THAT NOT BEING A WORRY, AND THE PRESENT PROBLEM OF PRETENDING!

IS THERE A REASON LEGAL TEAM, THE MAN WITH THE HAT AT THE POOL TODAY SUPPOSEDLY DIRECTED TOWARDS ME, SAID THE WORD BITCH?! AND MARIA, THE FAT DISNEY WOMAN AND THE BAD SPY GOT TO PHYSICALLY ASSAULT ME TODAY AT THE POOL?! BECAUSE I WANT TO GO WIN THE WAR IN AFGHANISTAN THEY GOT TO ASSAULT ME?! WHEN DOES THE NATIONAL GUARD GET HERE?!

THESE DUMB VIRTUAL MOTHERFUCKERS WHO THINK THEY CAN MAKE A VIDEO OF ME COOKING AND WIN A TRUE BELIEVER UNDERSTAND – NOTHING ABOUT AFGHANS OR THEIR CULTURE! CONGRAT-U-FUCKING-LATIONS ON INCITING THEM TO FIGHT AGAINST AMERICANS! FUCKING MORONS!