Category: Uncategorized

Do Good – Not Evil

Do Good – Deeds

Do Good – Not Harm

Do Good – Works

Do Good – Love, With More Than Everything In You

Do Good – Writing for yourself, for others, for the world, for history to learn from and not repeat itself again and again, and again and again.

Do Good – Art

Do Good – Creative Things

Do Good – Theater

Do Good – Film work

Do Good –  Mindful Thinking

Do Good – Representations

Do Good – Caring for yourself, for others, for the world to know darkness and evil will NOT be tolerated, not now, not ever.

Do Good – Laughter, so the world can know joy exists.  So, every person can see the light from within is impossible to diminish.

Do Good – Health

Do Good – Work

Do Good – Eating

Do Good – Drinking

Do Good – Actions With Purpose

Do Good – Talking and Speaking

Do Good – Active Thoughtful Listening

Do Good – Speeches

Do Good – Loving

Do Good – Relationships

Do Good – Parenting

Do Good – Rest

Do Good – Wakeful Purpose

Do Good – Not Shame

Do Good – Not Humiliation

Do Good – Not Cheating

Do Good – Respect

Do Good – Sincerity

Do Good – Happiness

Do Good – Dreams and Dreaming

Do Good – Serenity

Do Good – Sincere Apologies

Do Good – Holding Your Tongue, so you do not have to apologize later.

Do Good – Without Fear

Do Good – Admitting When You Are Wrong

Do Good – Grace

Do Good – Peace

Do Good – Fighting For What’s Right

Do Good – Balance

Do Good – Beliefs

Do Good – Believing

Do Good – For Every Person Regardless of Sex, Creed, Religion, Color, Nationality, Sexual Orientation, and Body and Shape.

Do Good – Decisions

Do Good – With What You Have

Do Good – Do Not Destroy

Do Good – At preserving what you have, so you do not have to live with regret as some things can never be replaced.

 

TCS: Dressed as an older lady in the office section of the store – Kaitlin Olson unhappy to be there, tried to get me to have a conversation with her.  She was so unhappy and somewhat violent, she seemed like a person to stay away from.  So, I did not spend more time than I needed to with her.

I am so disgusted with all the deceptions!  Stay out of my bed!  I have not invited any man – let alone a WOMAN!  To my bed!!!!

The reason the Bluetooth pushed the cum button, spoke in a male voice and said boobs were his favorite is because of Michael Wayne Brown.  Near the end of my relationship and near marriage to MWB when we had sex he would cum between my boobs.  I have no idea how many women MWB slept with while we were engaged.  He slept with our agent, my headshot was on their wall, to get and book jobs.  MWB is uncredited in Edward Scissorhands.  MWB is uncredited in There Is Something About Mary.

The last man to ever love me, loved to see and watch my face as he kicked me.  He would not knock me to the ground like a dog and kick me, he used to kick me while standing up.  Sole to sternum.  He received great satisfaction watching me unable to breathe, watching as the air exhaled from my lungs.

The police could not protect me which is why I never reported him.  This was the early 90’s not 2018.  MWB knew too many people.  He had connections to people.  He had a hold on me that has not left me to this day.

So, going from an abusive relationship, to years of solitude because no man wanted me no matter how hard I tried, to being ripped open, all my female reproductive organs removed to be replaced with a cum button, to being tricked with a skin suit and mind-control after being stitched from the inside out, I know with great certainty there is not a possibility for me to ever love again.

This is not a life.

I have standards.  I cannot be with a man who is willing to take advantage of me.  Jimmy Tan, Eddie, and other men who were only seen with me because they knew I would buy their drinks.  There is only so long I can let that go on.  I am not that kind of girl.

Jimmy Tan who called me in the parking lot at Target after I was released from the ER and the first car “accident”.

If you think I am changing my husband’s profession in a game you are dumber than you look.  You want me to believe I saw a woman who is wearing a waitress uniform singing about She used to be mine – you are dumber than you look.  No Means No!

If you think I am changing the kind of cat litter I buy because of the picture on the product, you are dumber than you look.

The fact that I have to share these personal pains and torments – is inexcusable and unforgivable.

Stop sending celebrities and actors to deliver goods to my home.  I am sick of seeing famous people, who are better off than me upset, angry, disgusted, and unhappy to see me.

Why would anyone want to be famous or a celebrity after being treated the way I have?  To be opened up as if my whole life is for the world to choose, take apart, edit, alter, and reinvent.

Keep your fingers, I don’t and never wanted them.  You cannot alter my vision like that!

Stay out of my BED!!!!

 

Summertime 2014, Lunch break: Cypress Point Park, sitting on a bench looking out over the water trying to imagine a world and life beyond my then role, I hung my head in sadness and depression from a lack of love.  As I walked back to my car, an old man on a bicycle wearing the google glass eye went the opposite direction.

David Wolfe never even said, hi.

July 2014 starting my shift at The Container Store, Anna Paquin as “Jamie” went over the announcements.  I interrupted her, and corrected her which threw her off because I was stronger than her, more sure of myself than her, it filled the whole room.  “Jamie” looked to “Sarah” for support and direction.  “Sarah”said, Keep going.

You see other’s may have been able to book jobs I never got, but they cannot take away from the me that is deep within.  For if I wanted to, there isn’t anyone I couldn’t “Wipe the flor with”.  It is who I have always been.

Ask David Wolfe.

Upon not knowing the definition of a MILF because why would I know the definition of a MILF, I was not a teen-ager when American Pie was released, I asked everyone at Thespis to tell me the definition.  I couldn’t understand why it was such a taboo topic.  You don’t know the answer to a question, you simply ask, right?  David Wolfe finally told me after asking and asking everyone.  He had to whisper it as he walked past as if almost ashamed or embarrassed to tell me, Mother I’d Like to Fuck.

As he left I thought, ok, and…

Here’s my point to be clear: I was heavy and overweight when David spoke MILF, but as I in my previous blog described myself I am one part Mae West and one part Ruth Buzzy.  Funny and sexy.  As overweight as I was I could have had any man I wanted because in my mind I was not in my right body.  I was not an overweight woman.  I was hot as hell.

Also, much has been spoken about me seeing red before.  I spoke about this with friends while I understand now I was being recorded.  If I ever get to write all the stories that lead up to The Container Store the world will be forever ashamed for separating a most glorious truth.  The world will forever be ashamed of taking one moment of entertainment or pleasure from the separation of something that cannot be replicated, engineered, or designed.

David Wolfe and I used to argue – every time we saw each other.  Also, we used to look at each other, and the entire world fell away.  PJ called it mind-fucking.  We argued one time, I was so upset with him I literally saw red.  He went storming out the door.  It took everything in me not to follow after him to make it better.  There was such a pull.

The Bluetooth knows this:  Backstage David had Alisha on his lap in what appeared as a kiss, I walked in on them.  She got up and left.  I went charging up to David for I was going to show him what a real kiss was like!  Then, the thought occurred to me, what if he really liked Alisha after all?  In an instant I stopped.  Because I loved David with the best of me.  If he preferred Alisha over me, I had to let him be happy.  Even if it came at the expense of my own heart break.

Later that day or later on in the performances, I walked backstage and David entered at the same time.  The look on his face was such sadness it instantly broke me.  Quite literally down the middle everything fell down.  David had been speaking and spending a lot of time talking with other people in the previous days and not with me.  He had been spending a lot of time talking with Stacy.  But, in that moment when I saw his face all I wanted to do was make it all ok for him.  I asked him if he was ok.

I will not explain the rest.  I doubt he ever knew how he broke me.

There is an impossibility that has existed between David and I.

I thought it was David that smiled at me at the bar touching my knee in such a way that everything just went away.  However, I no longer know.  He has lost a friend for life because of what has been allowed to happen.  Yet, the past still remains.

Also, I believe I was handled by a psychiatrists who did not have the same energy level as me, and could not keep up with me.  So, she decided to keep drugging me to make me sleep for days.  Shame on you.

There was something else I was going to write, probably about all the times I have been drugged.

Perhaps, there will be a part three today.

Still sick from last week.

I cannot dream in food or speak in food – still!

David Wolfe dressed as a french fry on Facebook.

Still sick and sickened!

On the flight home from my mother’s faked funeral while suffering through the humiliation of – yet, again more baby diaper button pushing, air tricked manipulation because I was wearing thong underwear – I saw David Wolfe – I will not comment on his upper lip since the flight departed from Canada – taking a young girl wearing pink by the arm down the aisle of the plane looking as if he could barely contain his excitement.

I was deeply unhappy.

Some things, have not yet changed since then.

Shall I continue with David Wolfe sightings?  Let’s see, at The Container Store: while “Nay” helped train me on merchandising the store with beads of sweat on his forehead, he talked about the term, kissing the lip, with a look of uncertain excitement.  When “Nay” was departing the store I was about to walk past him when he with natural ease went to reach for me and hug me from the side, he stopped himself almost upset and unhappy with himself.

How about the time I helped two ladies at the check-out at the register at TCS who had a baby or small child, I don’t remember the age.  The woman had eyeliner on the shade of aqua which was unusual since it did not match nor blend in with anything she was wearing.  After, they left the store I was about to walk into the stock room when David Wolfe as Alfredo Cruz walked out of the stock room as I was about the enter which took me aback with the biggest grin of pleasure and certain happiness all over his face.

Brother from guilt for not being allowed to sit on your side at your faked wedding I went to the DMV on your birthday to renew my tag.  It just happened to work out.  I stayed up all night and all day and all night again trying to correct what I felt and saw as a wrong.  Upon being issued my new tag, I looked behind me, the midget was yet again allowed access to me.  He raised his ball cap, and I mentioned this to the lady putting on an accent at the DMV because I wanted him to be noticed and noticeably REMOVED from my life permanently!  Which is why I am not backing into my garage again!

How many years does it take for me to say NO before I am heard?!

I hate to constantly repeat my directions, it makes me feel as though I am never heard or listened to.

You have to understand something, Lakeland – this is all one experience to me.  Every moment of my day is one experience.  It does not change because I am at home, or driving, or at the movies, ordering groceries, pizza, or deliveries, or anything.  Every single moment is the exact same one experience for me.  So, the effect you have when you change handlers, managers, leaders – even in a given day – has not only an effect on me, but it has an effect on every single person involved including the audience.

I am going back to the person I was before the walls fell down and I realized everything was faked.  It is the very reason ANY of you are here at all.

Before I get to the rest of that, let me finish this thought real quick.  If you think for one moment that I will ever become or am now an intelligent woman who cannot see or appreciate the great good works that Steven Spielberg, or JJ Abrams have done, and will continue to do, then you are MOST SEVERELY MISTAKEN!  If you think for one moment that I will not stand alongside civil rights leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr., then you are MOST SEVERELY MISTAKEN!  These two instances are not the same at all!!!!

Also, there is such a time delay in the way things are managed currently.  I am constantly working forward only to have weeks and weeks sent into reverse to clean up and clarify YOUR mistakes!

Another thing quickly, it is David Wolfe’s old apartment I drive past every day – NOT Roy’s!

New York, you broke my spirit with The Only Living Boy In New York with the shot of Jeff Bridges at the bar set against the window which is how I had envisioned myself grieving after my mother’s death.  I was trying to emotionally preparing myself for her death as we are all subject to our own mortality, so I envisioned myself grieving and drinking at a bar with the exact same window, seated in the exact same spot at the bar.  Also, I saw myself at a beach thinking and staring at the water with a fabric I was wearing blowing in the breeze.  Like a picture.  To capture the sadness and grief helping myself to not be overcome and shocked into immobility.  You angered me with the beard comment because I have in no way come into agreement with any person about appearing, or making a presence, to be a beard.  It is dishonest.  I cannot accept the dishonesty of it.  Friendship I can accept.  A working relationship I can accept.  A pretend romance or relationship, I cannot accept.  It opens me up to improprieties.

Now, the image of a man wearing glasses with a woman holding a baby/child I cannot accept.  It opens me up to improprieties.  It is inexcusable.  I have never come into any agreement of such a situation, not even once.  Here is your proof if you require it: play back the tape.  While “Kate” was speaking to me, she used air tricks and manipulation to create a sensation in my crotch, so that the lips of my vagina were screaming.  It was not an enjoyable sensation which is the kindest way I can write this scene.  Having to carry on a conversation with a person and a woman while my crotch and vagina were being violated – let alone for the sake of entertainment – is such an inexcusable act I cannot see any other cause of justice than immediate separation, loss of privileges, forced resignation, public exposure to the truth, and fined heavily to be donated to a good and worthy charity.  The evidence was the tears of my humiliation streaming down my face having to endure the sexual abuse, and having to endure the sexual abuse by a woman.  Let alone having to endure the sexual abuse in front of a live audience.  I am writing as kindly as I can for I do not want or wish for my feelings to be overshadowed by the truth.

 To treat another human being to such an activity – let alone without cause or proof of any evidence or justification – is inexcusable.  To treat another human being to such an activity for the sake of entertainment is inexcusable and should be treated as an abortion of justice.

It is a humiliation I will not forget because I was raped that night.  It is the only way I see it.

You cannot make something a reality that has never been, will never be, and does not change for the sake of entertainment.

None of this is art, nor is it leadership.

Pressure washing is neither art, nor leadership.  Weight gain is neither art, nor leadership. Chore lists are neither art, nor leadership.  Breaking things to be repaired are neither art, nor leadership.  Spending hours scouring descriptions of purchases are neither art, nor leadership.  Copying and modeling after someone and something is neither art, nor leadership. There is no creativity in simply doing as instructed and told.

There was mind-control used with Edison, so I have forgiven myself for being shamed by him.  There was not one moment of love or affection.  I simply wanted to move on with my life.  I wanted to not see David everywhere.  I wanted to move on from David as he closed that door.

I want this understood: I have a habit of not discussing certain people, I do not see that changing.

If you do not have one person who is overseeing the entire works, then you have made a huge and grievous mistake which must be rectified immediately!

I have mentioned, written, and said this more than once.  I would hire actors.  I would hire actors, I would give them direction.  However, I would allow them to use their own creativity to create a character.  And, I would base it off of my writings.  Since, there is no room for dialogue, the only way I see it is in movement.  Not so fast that everything swirls into nothing.  But, the front, the back, the sides choreographed into a moving work of art.  Art of every color, without bias, forced persuasion, or manipulation.

Also, I would reach a definitive end date.  It is a must!  It is time to tie up all the loose ends finish what should never have started.  Because I will never be able to see this as positive.  You will read more later.

Now, going back to the person I used to be – I am going back to the person who follows traffic laws by making a right or left hand turn and turning into the closest lane rather than crossing lanes to get to the furthest left lane.

Lakeland, you must take responsibility for your mistakes.

Lakeland it should never have been, nor should it ever be a combative environment or relationship.  It is inexcusable.  Take responsibility.

Again, I want to mention the manipulation of my money and internet is inexcusable.  One moment I have plenty of money, the next I am destitute.  No more lying.  No more tricks.  No more deceptions.  There is no art in manipulating the information.  Deliver what I order.

STOP THE NEEDLESS DRIVING!!!

ENOUGH!

Then, end it all.  I am closer to 50 than I am to 30.  I am no longer a teen-ager capable of living off of pizza and chips.  I have to think about how I will retire rather than working until the day I die.  I choose the tire only because it allergy-free it is something that has been forced on me.

I am getting so tired of this.  I want to move on.  This should never have happened to anyone.

Also, I choose not to see Jumanji because of what happened with the red-haired-heart-shirt.

Plus, it was me, Cherith while working at Disney.  I spoke with someone on the phone about The Golden Girls.  The opening to The Golden Girls featured the Back Lot of the then MGM Studios which is now Disney’s Hollywood Studios.  I joked about how it was not as though people were really living in the homes.  It was a good bit.  I knew it.  I felt it and heard it on the phone.  I heard the person on the other end of the phone – thinking.

Also, I would like to mention, I remember reading a fb post of David Wolfe’s about his least favorite show was Desperate Housewives.

Put those two together.

Starving someone and leaving them without resources, or food does not equal creative good works.

The driving route is a huge problem as it does not equal or a true measure of my heart, intent, values, works, thoughts, or creative ideas.

You have been so wrong.

You must take responsibility.

 

 

Hi,

My name is NOT Kate!  I am in no way any man’s or woman’s beard, baby, cat, dog, horse, or any other such animal.  The very idea of any such nonsense is SO ridiculous that my very precious brain does not and cannot conceive of such a notion.  The thought cannot form in my head.  It is such a waste of time to even have a conversation about.

It is NOT possible to create, force, contrive, or in any way shape or form create something that does not exist.  End of discussion.

I am so sick and tired of the farting and belching and tricks with my food and home.

It was David Wolfe as Alfredo Cruz who told me in the break room at The Container Store, beer is cheaper, but liquor in quicker.  You should have seen the look in his eyes as he spoke this to me.  It was David Wolfe as Alfredo Cruz who was holding the green crunch can with the chevron pattern at The Container Store who was talking to me, almost pleading with his eyes because I was so disgusted anymore with the pretend once I realized that Edison was wearing a skin suit, and that is why nothing ever added up or made sense in all the conversations, touching’s, kissing, amd just everything.  All the walls fell down when I realized that EVERYTHING was fake and faked.  I lost everything I had for David Wolfe because of the deceit.

I just wanted to be loved or even liked enough by a straight man who love women to be seen as sexually desirable and wanted.  Instead I got that thing.

When I realized the deception of the skin suit I understood I would never again be able to date, or have a relationship with a man again.  Because it was not real.  It was all designed to set me up, hurt me, and laugh at me.  I am tired of saying this.  I have said, written, made notes, time and time again since April 2014.

Again, the reason chrome has become swag-tron is to FORCE me to no longer like the things I used to like and enjoy.  I loved The Container Store.  I loved helping people.  I loved David that will not nor never go away – it has only changed the way I see him and nothing more.  I love to be organized, I love to be clean, I love people, on and on, these things are NOT things that can change in any way shape or form.  You change your underwear, or hair do or color, or job, or the man you’re dating, but there are fundamentals that do NOT change.

Anymore, what I see are people who do not have to worry about the brand they use because of a picture on the cover, or the soap, or food, or the description used to sell the product, or any other such nonsense.  I cannot be limited by these ANYMORE!!!!  You cannot make something exist that in no way shape or form ever existed!!!

I cannot be handled by a woman.  I cannot see a movie and believe in any way that it allows a woman or any person access to me simply because they are wearing glasses while they are acting!  It is in no way the means to create for and because there is no such reality for it at all, in any case, by any means, and so on.

I have to go, I know I am forgetting more than I can remember to write in the amount of time given to me.  Oh yeah, just because a company has a logo that says, oh, I don’t know, Yes 2 You, does not in any way shape or form allow them access, give permission, or come into any agreement.  I cannot control the logo another company uses.  It is a ridiculous notion to literally translate something that can mean many different things to many different people.  It is NOT A RULE for which any person should have to live.

Do you know the reason why I left notes at my home behind while working at TCS about wanting to write a one-woman show (Brian Cranston) because I was so disgusted with what was happening I knew I could do it better.  Because I wanted to live my life and not be forced to live alone, and I am tired of having to constantly say a man.  It will allows be a straight man who loves women, I was born that way you cannot alter me differently.

All of your choices and options are not correct, applicable, or valid in my mind!

David, I do believe you are nothing more than a Scrooge.  All you care about is money.  You care nothing for me or you wouldn’t have allowed such access to me and you would have ended it, or never have even begun it to begin with.  You know how upset and miserable I am, distraught and unhappy, and you allow yourself and other to do nothing more than make money off of me.

Here I am again, having to hurry and remember EVERYTHING and EVERYONE and mention it ALL before I leave for work.  Why?!  Because you have an ill functioning, poorly managed, and improperly controlled situation on your hands.

First of all, it is not as well controlled, secure, or stable as you allow yourselves to believe, Lakeland.  I saw it on the dock awhile ago, I saw it again today.  You better be careful because it is more than my life, welfare, and safety you have to answer to, Lakeland.  You invited and allowed a presence to breathe the same air, exist in the same reality as myself and others, but you failed to see the great and grave danger forming, brewing, and building in their minds.

But, I did.

So, again I will say.  Be careful, Lakeland.  You are not as secure as you think and believe you are.  I saw it.

I saw it. Continue reading “Open Letter: 1/15/2018”