Fa Mulan

Disclaimer: Men Born Male Only, No Gays, No Skirt Wearing Fairies, No Transgender, No Women Allowed!

Please, do not tell me that wolfy thought I should disguise myself as a man to be in the Army?!

That is not the reflection.

That is not who I am inside.

Also, it is not a matter of me not being able to proofread, my vision, I am having eye trouble.

Coffee and Breakfast: I Am Telling You There Is A Greater Story Here

Disclaimer: Men Born Male Only, No Gays, No Skirt Wearing Fairies, No Transgender, No Women Allowed!

August 15, 2018

Day 1, 597

 

Need I remind you, that I was told a story when I worked in a store that I knew was false and faked, I knew it was untrue.

Need I remind you, water does not have a color.

Need, I remind you it is all about the water.

Need I remind you of my name.

Need, I remind you of my names.

Need I remind you, well of truth.

Need, I remind you, that it is not about the number 4 or the number 2, it is about the color that frames my painting.

Need I remind you, that it is all about the painting.  It is all about my painting.  It is all about my painting that the teacher did not think was worthy of consequence yet was chosen none the less.

Need I remind you, that it is not paint by numbers.  Teacher is not valid.  I have been painting for many years.

No, numbers, I do not work like that.

I am not interested in trying to dissect the photo pieces.  There is a greater story here.

Correct, you made an error in the rat poison.

Need I remind you it is all about the decision-making abilities.

Incorrect, he has a flat stomach.  I saw through the disguise.

Incorrect, you had him speak to me in my head of words that a she told him to say at another she’s direction.

The time for descriptions, word choices, and verbiage in purchases must end immediately.  There is a greater story here.

Need I remind you, a normal snack for me when at the beach used to be Arizona green tea with ginseng and red Twizzlers.  For the flavor.  Not the brands.  Not the color.  Not the can.

Need I remind you, that not every word is used.  Some are crossed out.  Not every letter is used.  Some are crossed out.

Need I remind you that Murphy is not a duck, nor does he waddle.  Affirmative.

Let me tell you that not a single person needs to be around for any amount of time.  Except for myself, of course.

Do I honestly have to write and tell you that I did not chop down the cherry tree?!

Need I remind you that I will not write everything.

Ssshhh, there is not enough in that shadow.

Need, I remind you I have no way to zoom.

The letter was faked because it NEVER happened.  I will write no more on the matter.  It is too disgusting!  It is too mortifyingly disgusting!!!!!!  Do you not understand that they use illegal means of control within my body to force sensations?!  It is such an abomination!  It is something that no person SHOULD EVER HAVE TO ENDURE OR LIVE THROUGH!  It is appalling!

Was there actually an American-Idol like voting process regarding filming me without my consent?!

Connections need to end.  There is a greater story here.  The time for related food or items purchased must end immediately.

Before I continue, there is another serious problem I am having, therefore, there is a problem.  All I see in so much of what I read is a woman, or perhaps several, having a sort of crush on me.  Deluding herself into thinking we can work together, we can be friends, and that is why she played doctor on me, hacked my electronics, and created a false story, narrative, and gave false information to a lot of important people.  There must be an end to this.  The air must be cleared.  The truth must finish.  The truth must be told.  The damage of this is beyond measure.  There was no reason for it.  None.  Time and time again telling a person no.  Telling her no.

I will not give my support.

No, I will not be told what to write.

No, do not tell me that the reason there is not a sign on that ladder has to do with buying a new shower curtain or washing the one I have.  No person gets to tell me what is and is not clean enough in my own home.

No, there was no understanding that the drive to the west coast was going to book work for me in the following years.  Had I known I would have chosen differently.  The route would have been different.  The stops would have been different.  The purchases would have been different.  It has not been my story since this started.

I am telling you there is a greater story here than using people as food, purchases, or villains with consequences.  Why have you not let go of using people as teaching tools?  Why do you not use them as living props from my stories instead?

Take down the bathroom signs it makes no difference now.  Do not use them anymore.  Do not use it in connection to anything.  Until she is removed I will protect myself against her.  So, I am telling you there is a greater story here.  You are harming people.

Do not tell me that all the filming amounts to me walking to and from the bathroom.

Do not tell me that talking through people actually works.  So much of that is very damaging.

Again, why not use people as living props from my writing?  A living story.  It is interesting.  It is not performance based.

Coffee and Breakfast: I Have a Serious Problem

August 15, 2018

Day 1,597

Disclaimer: Men Born Male Only, No Gays, No Skirt Wearing Fairies, No Transgender, No Women Allowed!

No, I do not apologize for the disclaimer, read on and you will understand.  Need I remind you that my blinds closed are not a good sign.  Something is wrong with me.  It is not good.

I have a serious problem.  Upon arriving home, my cats were there at the door to greet me.  Lambert, Murphy, and Maurice.  All waiting for me.  Lambert talking and talking so loudly.  Lambert likes me to get in the house, so it is a home.  Until I am upstairs, he says I have not yet gotten into the house.

The other day when I arrived home Murphy was not there to greet me.  Lambert was there.  Maurice was there, but no Murphy.  So, I started calling to him when I see Lambert go upstairs and rather quickly Murphy and Lambert walk down the stairs.  Lambert when up the stairs and told Murphy to greet me while I take my shoes off.  That Lambert is just so good.  At the time I believed I had not done enough work with Murphy.  Obviously, I needed to spend more time with Murphy because he just wasn’t responding.

Until this morning when I arrived home, they were all there.  Except, Murphy is not acting normal.  Murphy is acting traumatized.  I am looking at Murphy and he looks scared and upset.  Then, he tells me, he does not like the person that enters my home while I am at work.

WHILE I AM AT WORK SOMEONE IS ENTERING MY HOUSE?!  UNACCEPTABLE!

There is a story being asked of me, you do not get my support.  I am beyond politeness and manners at this point and time.  My cat, Murphy does not like you in my home!  He told me so!

Let me tell you more, by the way did you get me a cup of coffee too?  No.  Well, the correct person was in the fast food store, not behind the wheel.

The bathroom was closed to me tonight.  The bathroom at work was closed to me tonight.  Why?!  Because I cleaned my floor in my home how I wanted to clean it and NOT how she told me to clean it.  Are you fucking kidding me?!  Whose house is it?!  It is not hers or yours, it is my home.  My floor was clean.  However, I did not clean it the way she told me to clean it, therefore, she closed the bathroom.

You do not get my support.  Until this changes, I will not write this story – if at all.

Do you actually wonder why I want another job?  I had to say it out loud tonight.  I am so grossly unhappy.  I am so grossly unhappy with heavy, heavy, heavy weight.  I am looking for another job.  Grossly unhappy.  I want to move on.  I believe I have more than earned the right to move on.  Every day it is the same thing, I want to move on.

See, they get all excited because I write about blow jobs and how much I enjoy giving blow jobs, however, there is bad works about, causing problems that are weeks and days behind.  So, for some men I am unable to give them the time of day.

No, I am not unisex.

No, Maurice is not unisex.  Maurice is not gay.

If you had to adapt my stories about my cats into a movie, Maurice is the good, stable, affectionate man.  He would be the man so in love with his wife that he just enjoys and loves – just being with her.  It doesn’t matter that it is the dull, boring, everyday stuff of life because he gets to be with her.  There is nothing wrong with that.  What a wonderful way to be.  Honestly, I have no idea what that is like in my real life.  How wonderful though that it is possible that men could be so.  He still has a problem with being held, he shakes when his middle is touched, Lambert does too.  But, you should see this roly-poly boy so happy he has a home and is loved just enjoying himself while I am home.  Sometimes climbing the walls, rolling on his back, stretching out with satisfaction.  He is Maurice the Handsome!

Did you actually think ponchos would frighten me?  Affirmative.

Certain things I will not mention.  I have my reasons.  You have your orders.

Yep, fragile about this female weight problem.

No, there is nothing wrong with red.  It does not mean rage.  It does not mean anger.  It does not mean anything other than being a color.

No, there is nothing wrong with blue.  It does not mean pregnancy.  It does not mean babies.  It does not mean dog and dog training.  It does not mean virus.  It does not mean dirty.  It does not mean fat, or heavy.  It does not mean anything other than a color.

I soooooooooooooooooo did not want to let him in front of me!!!!!!!  If I did not see that he was not going to stop I would have hit him because I did not want him to be in front.  Because I said he was dead to me, does not mean I want to kill him, see him hurt or injured?!  But, that was really hard to let him in front.  I did not want him to be!!!  Yep, I changed my mind because of who was in the building tonight.  I am tired of throwing things away.  No, I am not a dog to him.

Had you let it happen naturally it could have healed something between us.  Because once they illegally placed the Bluetooth, they did not realize that something like a God whisper could happen.  God whispers a name in your ear, and they know its true.  They’ve seen the playback.  Yet, they stuck me with that short person who I did not want to introduce, so we will never be able to speak again.  I want to move on.

To be understood, I loved him, I was not in love with him.  There is a difference, and when he went away, I never for one moment ever thought about killing myself.  He would not be able to have that effect on me.  Ever.

Suicide skin, now, I am used to being able to think in infinite room and space.  In my world above my head there is universes – plural – of room and expanse to think through.  Although tonight I was not allowed that.  Tonight, I was pushed down to just a few inches off the floor.  Fuck you!

I shudder just recalling this.  This person is highly educated, upper middle-class income, educated, however often fantasizes about suicide.  If they do not get a redirection of mind-thought-energies, they just might.  They might anyways.  They would not be hurting others merely choosing to end their life.  It was a heavy, heavy night for me.  If you take a person leave them in a dark place for years without the sun, for years, their skin would change into a sort of porous material.  Not like over-dried sun skin that is like leather.  It would, to touch it, the skin would sort of ooze, sort of ooze a watery like substance.  It was like wearing suicide skin all night.  YUCK!

Hardwood, this man helped me see things differently.  This is why specificity is so crucial, so important, of the utmost security.  This hardwood does not stem from a belly or stomach.  It is groin.  It is legs.  It is erect.

Yet, do not believe I am so simple as to fantasize about this.  Yet, I saw things differently because he was there.

Wilkerson, I do not know how this got confused with a black fan.  Nope, not in a million years would he, could he, intimidate me.  I know who he was keeping eyes on and for.  But, this notion of a black fan is a problem.  So, my movie choices will remain until this is corrected.

Ride ‘em hard!  There will never be in a million years a soft pull.  Your time is over.  You’ve had your chance.  You never had a chance.  It will always be hard, hard, hard, hard, hard, hard, hard!  It will always be me riding him so hard his eyes roll back into his head.  We must stop to eat, rehydrate and go again!  Hard!

Serious problem, Murphy is having a problem because someone is entering my home who has no right, is not allowed and should not be here.

So, in addition to this heavy weight, my gross unhappiness, my Murphy who used to always say before, did you need something Cherith?  Just tell me.  I will do it.  I am the Murphy.  Murphy the Magnificent.  Murphy the Brilliant!  What did you need?  Just tell me!  Is giving me signs of trauma.  Trauma?!  Trauma!!!!!!!!!

I have a serious problem if Murphy or any of my cats are unhappy!

Therefore, so do you have a problem.

Coffee and Breakfast: Penis Time

August 14, 2018

Day 1, 596

For Men Born Male Only!  No Gays!  No Skirt Wearing Fairies!  No Transgender!  No Women Allowed!

No, I do not apologize!  This is not discrimination.  I place my vote where it matters at the polls!  This is my writing!  This is not a restaurant!  This is my writing!  It is not the same!

To be understood, the exclusions are so beyond necessary because it is as though asking a fast-food worker to step out of their shift and perform brain surgery without scrubbing up and believing the patient will be able to survive.  That is the same comparison.  That is why it is necessary!

I am not allowed personal relationships.  I am not allowed male contact.  I am not allowed penis in the flesh, so I do not feel bad nor apologize for wanting and writing and speaking to what is rightfully mine.  I am denied – everyday – a heterosexual life.  Everyday.  There is nothing wrong with men.  There are a great many wonderful things about men, their cock, their penis, that exquisite piece of machinery between his legs, I will never get enough of it.

Men, if I was ever allowed to be in the real, dating, talking, flirting, allowed to be me, I would be taken off the market so quickly.  I would suck you dry and it would be hard not to want to give that up.  Suck you dry.  So, drink up.  Guzzle some fluids and lots of it because I would suck you until you had nothing left.

Tell me because I have been so out of the entire world is it really true that men do not like blow jobs?  Head?  Or to be drained of all cum?!  Really?!  Just wondering?  Sarcasm.

Last week, I spoke with a man in my head about food, boysenberry pie, salad, and a sandwich.  I ordered a salad from Prime Now that added ten pounds to my weight in one meal.  Ten pounds from eating salad.  Ten pounds from Prime Now.  What are you going to do about that?

A change in supervisors for me at work, yet it is exactly the same.  Nothing has changed.  So, nor will my wardrobe.

If you are looking for cat stories, or food, my body is too heavy.  So, you will have nothing.  Because you have yet to protect against these women and gays hurting and harming me.

Do not be surprised if I spend my days off applying for other work, and not eating anything.

Coffee and Breakfast

No gays allowed.  No women allowed.  Male born men only.

Get me a restraining order against 1, 2, 3!

They’ve hacked into my computer not allowing me to sign in.

I had to dump that entire ABC order.  Not fit for human consumption.

It is only human nature to never want to see or be apart of someone’s life after being so deceived.  I can hardly wait to get away from David.  I can hardly wait to move out of this house.

Too tired.  Too worn-out.