Trying To Hold On

 

There are worse things in life than having cared deeply for a man once and still remember him for what he inspired in you and remember that goodness in times of grief and pain.  It is certainly not a crime to remember a man, remember him well, and wish nothing but his great happiness – always.

It is called having a heart wanting to use that heart correctly with purpose and meaning.

There are worse things in life than not only waiting but demanding for not just any random Joe, but a man who will love me straight and true.  Take me in his arms, make me feel special and loved, more importantly waiting for the man who will inspire and hold me, be my tethering point above any other man.  Call me old-fashioned but he will have to find me and not the other way around.

I have been so badly treated, misjudged, hurt and harmed for sport, misrepresented, and mischaracterized.  If it has not happened in truth I have been made to feel as though all of the above has occurred.

Since moving here nearly four years ago, I have never felt more alone, seperate and seperated from the rest of the world, and more un-like myself.  This is not my home in any way.

So tired of this false reality around me.