I Ask You

When you have gone to every resource possible, when you have gone to every person you know and can, when you have told as many people as you can, when you have done everything you can think of to find, get, and receive help, yet you are received, turned down, given a deaf ear, and worse misled, turned away, given no compassion, understanding, or help – what other recourse could a person have?!

If you have been shouting from the rooftops – not just for days, but for years now – this is too much for me, I don’t like this, this is not what I want, I can’t deal/handle/manage with this surrounding environment, circumstances, and situation any longer, yet nothing happens.  People choose to ignore you and walk away.

If you have sought every source to help you out of the final breaking point from which there is no return – still nothing happens and everyone ignores you and carries on as if you have not just been screaming in their face, what other choice do you have?

What has been happening to me for the last several years is so unnatural, so un-me, so terrible it has left me in the darkest place possible where I no longer want to wake up in the morning.  Still I know I have told as many people as I possibly can that I am in this emotional, mental place of suicide and depression, and no one has even bothered to stop what they are doing to listen to me and help me.

I am right.  I am correct when I say I have spoken, written, and advised countless people I am at a terrible emotional state where I only dream of ways to kill myself as the only solution I know possible to end the charade and parody that has become my life.  For years I have been screaming I want to deactivate all of it.  Yet, people look me in the eye, uncaring, then look the other direction.

I want to live my life in obscurity any longer.  I want to be left in peace.

I am afraid that will not happen and my only other recourse will have to be suicide.