I Want It All To End

I have been lied to by every employer I’ve had since 2013.

All about when the control would end and I would get my life back.

The last few lied about timing.  First I was told six months and it would end – it didn’t.

Then, I was told three months and it would end – it didn’t.

I have been placed in isolation, separated from the entire world since 2014.  My entire surroundings are controlled.  Every person I meet already knows who I am.

This is entirely unfair to me, more correctly it is extremely cruel to do to a person.

I am unable to speak to people, have a social life, or any resemblance of a life other than going to work and immediately home.

I have never been more depressed in my entire life.

I don’t even get to say no.  I don’t get to say this is enough.  I don’t get to say I don’t want anymore.  I don’t get to say leave me alone.  I don’t get to say I do not want a virtual life.  I don’t get to say I don’t and never did want to be virtually fucked.

I don’t get to have a life.

How can a person live without being able to say no and be heard?

How can a  person live without the ability to control their life?

I have been lied to again by my employer which has really hurt considering the source.

I don’t know how to continue any longer when every time I’ve been lied to about a time line and when this will all end where I get to have my life back again where I get to have my mind and my brain to myself alone.  Where no one enters my mind.  Where if someone wants to know what I am thinking they have to ask me in person.  Where no one is able to create pain or sensation in my body virtually.  Where no one can contaminate my food, or the air, or control the weather, or the traffic.

I could tell there was something wrong at my job in 2013.  It wasn’t until the beginning of 2014 I knew my entire workplace was faked, and it ruined me where I could no longer be myself anymore.

I can’t stand looking down anymore.

I can’t stand being walked in mazes and driven in circles.

I can’t stand this fake life – I never could.  I was told it would end in a one year.  Well, this control has been happening going on three years now.

Can you imagine three plus years without having a single friend to talk to in your life?!  Let alone not being able to even have a boyfriend for more than three years?!  To constantly be stuck in a virtual world not of your choosing?!

Changing jobs doesn’t help.  The virtual control remains the same regardless of where I go or do.

I want to live and have a whole and complete life.  I want a man to talk to, to love and be loved in return.  I want to be the love of his life.  I want to be wanted by him.  I want him to want to spend the rest of his life with me.  I want him to find me.

I don’t want to be locked away in a virtual prison anymore.

I want to be set free.  I want to be sprung from this cage.

I don’t want to meet famous people, actors, or celebrities in disguise, or virtually.

I don’t want to follow clues.  I don’t want to choose numbers or sides.  I don’t to be shown or told what to buy.  I don’t want anyone to control my underwear, or the air.

I want an end to this fake life, or I will be forced to end my life.