Where Did I Go?

It’s a problem when you don’t like the person you are anymore.  I have been turned into someone else’s creation of who they think I can and should be.  But, I can no longer stomach to look at myself in the mirror anymore.  My eyebrows pinch together in hard angry sternness.  The color in my eyes has gone.  I used to receive compliments all the time on the color and shape of my eyes, and the quality that can only be seen and felt first-hand when you meet another person’s gaze has left my heart permanently.

Only a jealous person would be so low as to harm another person to take away their natural good looks.

I am so sick of the abuse I endure because I have no other choice in the matter.

Worse still, I am so sick of the good and lovely, the joy, the kindness, the beauty, the pleasant, the astounding, the sad, and the broken, the lonely, and the afraid I see in others, in my surroundings taken from me as if it is their right to do so.  Then, cast in false disguise, claimed as art and regurgitated back to me as a truth and real.  When I know it is a perverted portrayal.

The me that used to command attention wherever I went because it simply came out from everywhere of my being – has left me entirely.

So, what is there that remains?  A nothing.  A void.