Declassified Files: A Series Of True Events Being Brought To Light

Dear Mr. James Franco,

You no idea the harm you have caused me.

Please listen carefully.  I never wish to see you, hear from you, know you, or in any other way ever be associated with you ever again!

I regret meeting you on the monorail that day.  How carefully set-up that was.  I knew I was being watched and followed which led me to the monorail with you in it.  You were obviously not a tourist, or a Floridian, so I asked you if you were going to work.  Because what else would someone like you be doing on the monorail?

I am not your black hole!!  It will NEVER be right again!  And, I will never be ok again!

I am not your cat, or dog, or horse, or pet of any kind!

We are not now, nor will we ever be in the future, friends.  You were a co-worker once who fell asleep in front of me, and nothing more.

You set me up on the worst dating experience of my life!  You had to watch from the other side of glass because you were already not available.  Because you didn’t want to be the one in the room.  Because you couldn’t speak to me face to face.

Let me begin with this, I never want to see you again.  I never want to hear from you, to know about you, or in any other way be connected, tied, or associated with you.

You will never be able to begin to heal the hurt that you have caused!  Years later and I am still not okay!  You, lying sack of shit!

I wish there was something more meaningful that I could take away from this experience, but you’ve left me void of emotions other than complete shame.

How dare you come to me          saying your head should rest on my chest.  I don’t know you!  I don’t want to know you!  Then, I have women constantly making sexual overtures at me because of you!  You’ve made me despise my own sex just to get away from you!

I feel you have raped my mind, body, and soul for your financial profits.  I am not in a better place having known you.

I am not your secret code agent!

I want to be able to breathe again!

Let’s get something straight right now, you did not teach me to paint!  I painted long before I ever knew you.

Fuck you with your beards vs. moustaches, with your men vs. woman!  Fuck you for not allowing me the freedom of choice, and the freedom to eat and need in life!  Fuck you with your hard vs. soft!  Fuck you with your baby bullshit making me gain weight and bulk!  Fuck you with your making me wear diapers!  Fuck you with your driving game!  Fuck you with your utter lack of respect for me as a person, as an individual, as a woman and not a child, as a competent, talented, and good enough without having to change for any man, woman!  Fuck you for not listening to me.

Do you know having been imprisoned here – since I am no longer able to live in my own home – I have given up on all dreams for my future, for planning my life, given up on all desires including men, writing, or anything I have ever done in the arts.  How could you possibly think you could have a positive effect on me?!  Turning me into some sort of pet project, making me change every single thing about myself including the color of my own skin?!

I would say I am disenchanted with you, but it goes well beyond that.  I cannot believe the years I have wasted my life being forced to believe that it was real.  Playing along that you were real when all along you and everything along with you is simply unavailable, to be polite.

Did you think that just because I shook hands with a celebrity – you – that I would fall down in ecstasy?!  That I would be so flattered I would wet myself?!

You are the biggest egoist I have ever known!

No matter what anyone says to me.  No matter what anyone will say to me it was not you, nor will it ever be you.

We live in different worlds and that is how it should be.  You should live and stay in your world.  I am happy for you that you are successful and happy in your life.  However, I want you to know I do not wish for our worlds to ever collide again.

You have no idea what you have done to me, nor do you care how I am treated.  I think it must be impossible for you to think beyond your ego.

I am tired of going to the window for you!  I am tired of the direction you take me!

In my mind, I have punched your face a thousand times for everything you have taken from me, for everything I no longer am, for the unbearable humiliation and shame I must endure because of you.

I am trying so hard to remain civil, however I want to scream at the top of my lungs about the hurt and humiliation you’ve caused.

I am not now nor will I be in love or care for you at all.

Soft, does not, nor has it ever opened this box.

You fucking asshole!

I don’t care about the TiVo commercial, or WDW expo audition that I didn’t book.

You stay away from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you think I would be flattered, or think it was real speaking to you at Disney on the phone while you spoke of your wife?!  Did you actually think I could deceive myself into thinking that you and I would ever be real?!  Nothing more than a stupid metaphor and story line for me to follow along with.

You had to threaten me with losing my      in order to fake-believe in you, or turn your direction.  What does that say about you?  The fake dates, and you think you can or should be able to teach me something?!

You owe me more than an apology.  You WILL do right by me which is not a direction, and this is not a request.  What you have taken from me, from my life, from my very soul you will NEVER be able to replace, or repair.

If the only way that you are able to correct the problem is to never come near me again, or ever be involved with anything in my life again – YOU WILL DO IT!

I have not nor will I ever shed a tear for you!

You are a terrible woman!

None of this should come as a surprise to you.  I have been saying this through my computers, and phones for years now!

The state of depression that I am in is because of you.  Drugging me, medicating me, hurting me all for the sake of your ego alone!

How is it my mother died?!  You fucking asshole?!

Making me live this way for your benefit alone.  How deceitful and cowardly you are.

There is nothing more I wish to say to you.  There is nothing you could ever say to me that will ever make it okay.

You left me unable to ever have children again, and a scar that always hurts.

You left me without the freedom of choice all because I believed in a man that was not you.

I will forgive you.  I will forgive you for my benefit.  I do not want this deceit and hurt to define the rest of my life.

I wish you nothing but the best.

I will not forget.

Cherith Gjestland

 

Author: Cherith Gjestland

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, THIS IS INTENDED FOR GOD AND GOD ALONE TO READ! I PRAY TO GOD AND GOD ALONE! GOD IS MY HEAVENLY FATHER, I PRAY TO HIM FOR THERE IS MUCH TO FEAR - IN THE WORLD TODAY! THIS IS ONLY INTENDED FOR GOD AND GOD ALONE TO READ! FEAR GOD FOR HE IS MIGHTY AND THERE IS MUCH TO FEAR - THE WORLD IS IN TERRIBLE TROUBLE, I DO WHAT I CAN TO MAKE SURE THE WORLD WILL BE SAFE AND ALIVE, YET THERE ARE SOME THINGS I CANNOT DO, AND I CANNOT UNDO ONCE DONE! BELIEVE IN JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR PERSONAL SAVIOR AND ASK HIM INTO YOUR HEART, SO YOU WILL HAVE LIFE ETERNAL! IN ALL OTHER WAYS, I DO NOT SPEAK OR REFER OR TALK TO ANYONE HERE - OTHER THAN GOD, AND GOD ALONE! FEAR GOD! THERE IS MUCH TO FEAR IN THE WORLD TODAY! FEAR GOD! GOD IS IN CONTROL, AND GOD IS A CHAIN-BREAKER!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: