December 27, 2017
James Franco,
You lying son of a bitch!
You and David Wolfe took a risk with your fake dating, and it back-fired in the worst way possible! You knew it went bad big-time, and instead of coming clean with your mistake you covered it up pretending something and someone that was never real or a man I EVER cared about was my destiny, my true love, a match, or even love at all.
Why the fuck do you think I walked on by when I saw David and that midget at Home Depot?!!! You fucking liars!! Since, you have altered the texts of previous journaling I’ve done before on my other computers I am uncertain if you left that previous message in there. I wrote it before. I walked on by the two of you. You squirted that STUPID COLOGNE in front of me, making me walk on by because I wanted nothing to do with ANYONE involved or connected in any way with that last dating experience!!
You were aware, and understood after that dating experience I was NEVER going to allow that to happen again. Because if you did it once, you would do it again, and I did not have the means to get you to stop as my pleading and begging for it to end was unheeded. So, you have denied me the chance to have a man to fall in love with.
What a horrible human being you are.
What person denies another person the ability to have love?
How much you must hate and despise women to do this to me – a great woman!
You have absolutely no comprehension of what it is to live a life where everywhere you went people are following you, and watching you. I could pick them out a mile away – EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!
Do you know what it is like to be constantly matched with men who are unattractive, dull, boring, physically unexciting, to have no romance at all, to never have any blushing cheeks from the embarrassment of desire, to never feel sexually desired by a man who you in return want with so much unrestrained emotion you could consume every ounce of him and not be satisfied?!
Do you know what it was like dating the red-headed Mark? Yet again, another unattractive man, dull, boring, uninteresting to talk to, yet I was in such a need to have a life with a man and not wanting to sit at home – alone – for the rest of my life I went on EVERY single opportunity there was to meet a man. Here I meet a man for a drink, and my first thought is – yuck. This is it?! I let him take me on a second date because, fucking hell man, there had to be more somewhere. Nope. He took me to that expensive restaurant, he gave me a rose, I had my car valet parked, I wore a nice dress, he was polite, it was a very good meal, but there was no more to it than that. Not a moment happened between us. Not a spark. Not a single flustering of my emotions, he never excited me, and I tried. Man, did I try, so fucking hard with every single date. And, I am easy to love. I am easy to flirt with. I mean I am fucking hot-as-hell, at least I used to be before – YOU, YOU FUCKING LOUSY MAN! Never once did any of the men I dated respond to me in any way. Can you possibly imagine what that can do to a person’s mind? Can you possibly imagine how that would make a woman feel? Can you possibly imagine how it would make a woman feel who had just spent years alone sacrificing her life for her family to then lose over 125lbs. to then be viewed as undesirable by every man who dated her?! Mark took me to that fancy restaurant, then I drove home, I was stopped by the train, a Sheriff’s car was in front of me as we were both stopped by the train and I knew, I was not alone. I turned my head as the tears started falling from my eyes because…
Do you know when I was on eHarmony, I instantly deleted profiles if they did not meet my height requirement. It was a good instinct too. Somethings will never change. Especially after the last dating experience I will not surrender my good taste.
I want nothing to do with David Wolfe anymore because of that dating experience. Until my financial dependence changes, I will be unable to forgive him for the horrible wrong and injustice he has done to me!
It is a terrible sin that you have taken away from me one of the greatest men I have ever known in my life. You did that James Franco. You knew he was an important man to me. You knew he was a valuable part of my life, you took him from me in the worst way possible because your ego believed you knew better. It is a relationship that can no longer be repaired because of you, James Franco.
I will write the story, but to protect myself from you, I will write this now. In the hospital room, sitting with my back to the open door – which I never do – instinct – with the lights off except for a light behind the hospital bed where my mother lay unresponsive, and I sat with severe stillness begging and pleading, and bargaining with God to bring my mother back to me for every reason I could think of, and I was asked to leave by the unskilled nurse who wanted to put a tube in mother’s nose, walking out of the room taking note of the time realizing I had spent hours praying for my mother’s life, I walked down the hospital hallway and I heard whispered in my ear, David. Years later, looking for David on-line I came across a MySpace page of David’s where he blogged about a loss in his family’s life. In the text David wrote a passage that I believed and knew he meant for me alone. When I read I scrambled quickly as I couldn’t believe it, he wrote it nearly to the minute I heard his name audibly spoken in my ear.
Whoever told you that all I wanted to do was sit at home and watch television when I moved here – lied to you! All I wanted to do was read and write, and find someway to get out of this place. For I had already lived in Florida too long.
You are disgusting to me!
I never want to live in your world.
Disgusting!
WE - DO NOT AGREE! 