July 15, 2017
To Jeremy Renner:
Flip-flops,
I have no idea what happened tonight at . I can tell you right now I am tired of driving all over this fucking town! I am not driving to order pizza that I never wanted to begin with. This driving around town to pick-up pizza is not my idea.
I heard in my head earlier this week that Joanna wanted to get involved. Who the fuck asked me?! I’ll tell you no one asked me!
You think you can fucking potty-train me?! Playing toilet paper games! Then, when I choose the men’s side of the toilet paper – which is what it really amounts to – I am blasted with bull-shit air.
I AIN’T your baby, bitch! That goes for all of you!
I am not spending more money to go driving all over town to buy fattening pizza just because I have no control over my fucking life! Fuck you! I am so sick of pizza!!!!
That stupid fucking movie! I hate that ! It makes me miserable every single day! I have hated every single since discovering The Container Store was not real!!
I was thinking in my head getting ready for work today about getting my groceries earlier in the week. Now I am unable to order them in the day I want to order them because fucking signs all over the god-damn road about open house Sunday!
You are useless! Talking to this computer is useless!!
So, everyone at work is at me because I dared to make up my own route instead of being told which route I can take?! Fuck you, man! It’s not my fault you used the worst possible model!!
I have no idea why I am working because all I see and feel every single day is how much everyone dislikes and hate me! Which is why they torture me there.
I have no idea why I am working at when 2 never applied, or was EVER applicable!!
I don’t even want to park at the parking lot because there is not a anywhere.
It was never any of them! I am so fucking pissed!!!
I can’t believe you sent me to have to drive to get pizza I don’t even want?!!!
Who the fuck are you wasting my money like that?!
I am still so angry and upset about my fucking hands all I will ever say anymore is I want out. I want my life back!
What a stupid fucking idea driving to get pizza!!
Do you have any idea what it is like living like this for over 3 ½ years?! In truth, to live this way for over 5 years now. Living off of no more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep every single fucking day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck you I ain’t driving!!!!!!!
You get me another because clearly, I am not valued, wanted, or welcome at because I refuse to lie to myself or to others just for the sake of a !!!!! I would rather die than lie to myself, or lie to the world. Are you ready to watch me die?
What the fuck did they do to my fucking chair?!
I can’t even have a fucking chair in my house because they ruin everything!
Do you know I heard in my head on Friday that I should be happy I had big ?! Like I have no idea or comprehension of what a big would be. My whole paycheck is gone! It’s already spent! According to the bankruptcy worksheet I am negative every month by the tune of nearly $700.00!!! For what?! So, I can buy something to have to return it?! It is so unproductive and so dumb!
They used a needle, they use needles to inject my fruit with all kinds of things. The melon is super heavy. I feel terrible and heavy.
I want to go back on the cleanse diet, I am too heavy. I don’t feel good ever.
I wear the bandana so you don’t see my frown. Why would I ever smile when I am treated in this way.
I have been sexually harassed at place since and including The Container Store.
Heavy. I feel so heavy.
I hate to tell you this – I was writing this earlier in the week in my head and someone stole the words from me – I had no idea why people were being placed in front of me. I had no idea what was going when this started. I had no idea for months. So much was made about how I was a bad person, morally lacking, that I had to prove my sexuality, that I had to prove I was a decent person. When I would go driving it would make me so crazy because I was working so hard at making sure I was being moral and straight. In an attempt to understand what was going on I wrote to my computer and made videos on my phone. I thought at the time that I was nominating or voting for people. I thought I was tagging people while driving. But, this has been so played out. This has been years of this. Could you or anyone do the same behavior every single day like this? I am too old for this kiddie shit. I want to move on. I still have no idea why people are placed in front of me. Nothing makes sense to me. I have no idea what my other than to possible. I have no idea why I am there when everyone hates me, doesn’t like me, and I am subjected to being alone. How could I possible talk to anyone knowing they are fake.
It was Rob D’s idea to make me give a false name when I had my oil change at Midas. In my head, I had been told to give a fake name. In my head, I have been forced to change everything about myself even if I don’t like it.
I am so fucking tired of having to live this way. I am tired of having to tell you the reason why I have been forced to do things the way I am. Like the only bathroom I can use is the one I use because there are no “itches” there.
I am so tired of re-watching movies I’ve already seen. I am tired of watching new movies because they make me relive TCS and everything I have been trying to get away from.
The day after my brother’s fake wedding I wanted to spend some time in Disney before I had to go to work. I wanted to go to Character’s In Flight just to see how much it would cost. But, I was and still am so broke. I saw David in the area where Character’s in Flight is wearing a long sleeved yellow shirt. I missed the turn or something and decided to go on. I went to Test Track at Epcot. It looked like “Erin” in line in front of me. It must have been because at work they tortured me with it. I did not get out of line because I was not going to go out of my way for that bitch ever again. Her last day at TCS I said good-bye and that was it as far as I was concerned. Remember, she’s drugged me more than once. And, she is not the only one. When she and Cat left TCS those were good days for me. Here’s why The Container Store, the reason why it was there, and happened was NEVER about them. I was the reason it happened and existed to begin with. They and that should never have been a part of the plan, design, purpose, or story.
I still can’t believe Disney allowed what took place there the second time I worked there. I’m beginning to think they had no idea the way they would torture me verbally, mentally, physically, and emotionally. They knew.
Saw David on the way to work that day again showing me or reminding me I wanted to get a pair of running shoes since I forgot to pack flats. I bought a cheap pair that were so uncomfortable. They tortured me so bad at work I just threw them away. You see because they had been telling me for so long what a bad person I was, morally deficient that I had to keep proving them wrong by living with nothing. Then, the things I did have they ruined. I had to throw out one pair of Nike’s because they had ruined them with fungus either from me running in the water or because they came into my house. I had to throw out another pair because of the stupid black and white bull-shit.
I am never and I will not give up those memories I have of David they are one of the last remaining memories that are real. But, I will not turn his direction again. It is too humiliating. He’s conspired against when I have not.
Due to circumstances beyond my control I am retiring the black Reebok shoes from my work attire.
Because of my hands: I want to tell you that I knew Cleveland at TCS was different when in conversation I casually touched his back, and oh wow, muscles. That back was not Cleveland. Upon seeing Ryan Phillippe on morning television, I made the connection. Or, I could be wrong and everyone is making me believe something that isn’t. But, because of my hands I won’t tell you anymore.
There is so much more I would tell you but, why should I?! You can’t even help me or stop programs and storylines from playing that should never have existed to begin with!
I am so disgusted by everyone involved with The Container Store.
You know I am not that special, anyone would have discovered they were being followed and watched. They were fucking everywhere. I mean, no one goes to a hotel pool in Orlando and wears a wool beanie cap on their head when it’s 90 degrees plus outside. That’s the monorail day. The day I spoke with James Franco on the monorail.
So disgusted and appalled,
Cherith J Gjestland
WE - DO NOT AGREE! 