He is very far away from me. There is a sadness there, I question. It feels like it is not enough for him.
I question his approach to me, I believe, I feel, he should have done differently. He’s chosen to step back, and coordinate as if I am a member of his team. Talking at me, telling other’s to handle me as if I am a member of his team. When he has felt and seen me differently. So, I question why it is not possible to treat me more like a person with special knowledge and access and less like a person needing to finish tasks, chores, or a list of assignments.
He has grown greatly dissatisfied with the arrangement recently.
He is slightly frightened of me – this is a good thing.
Doubts circle his head. Does he receive flak because of me. Because I am only a civilian who comes from nothing? Yes.
Astonished to find out he wanted me to visualize myself in dresses like those not off a sale rack, at a function where money was so abundant.
Outside a small town in Texas – oh, there are a lot of problems in my head going back to the first drive – I parked at a nursing home. Why, I don’t know. I was told to. Walked around the landscape, through a neighborhood, there was a big cross, a school, more neighborhood, I got back to my car as the sun had just gone down. The lights of the town below in front of me were twinkling in the dim light. It was a beautiful picture.
Jerry Jones. There is an unspoken connection. He does and gives a lot away for those persons not seen. A lot. He feels it is never enough. He’s probably right. However, he gives to them.
While at Hilton, a trainer complimented me on my outfit. I remember because as I can describe it now, it was not a compliment from her. I was wearing denim overalls with a light sage green cardigan. I had a scarf around my neck. Make-up and hair neatly done. I probably had my Sak’s Fifth Avenue loafers on, the shoes I don’t see. See, I may have been overweight, yet in my head – I was not. So, I didn’t read as a heavy woman.
My brain is too tired. Synapses dulled, hurting, greatly unhappy.
You should know I am a little upset with you. You are selfish with my time. Greedy. Am I disagreeing with you or someone else?
He wanted me to visualize me at a fancy function, in a gown. It is not just because I wrote about it. Then, what I get is bowling ball food, food and drink keeping my head unworkable and in bed. Indigestion. Bloating and pain. Body unclean. Leaving me un-wanting to brain-speak.
Yeah, you have approached me incorrectly. Because you are dishonest in your feelings.
Lying down again. Wash cloth on my head.
WE - DO NOT AGREE! 