May 15, 2018

Nicest thing any one has said to me in a long time if that really was the green t-shirt telling me Miss Understanding.  It brought tears to my eyes.  As every day there feels like a new way to beat me up.

Meghan McCain, I heard her voice.  She was careful and considerate.  Making me wonder what it was they used to get her to speak to me.  I strongly said in my head you are not authorized to be here.  Get out!

They are going to use this, but they have it wrong.  It is a set-up, a stunt they use over and over.

Meghan McCain you were used.  I was used.

It is time for the man behind the curtain to leave.

Before I step into the building on May 15, 2018 I have shut my head, my brain down.  It takes me nearly all night to understand why.

Sometime after 2 am I say in my head, who’s here?!

Then I start looking in my head for them.  Are they criminal?  No, they do damage.  They do not break the law.  It is the cyber-bullies!  These posers and punks that I cannot stand.

Let me paint the picture of their interaction in my head, poke, poke, poke, tee-hee, tee-hee, tee-hee.  Poke, poke, poke, sniggering, sniggering.  Juvenile, child-ish, immature.  INAPPROPRIATE! 

OUT!  Get OUT!  This is my brain-head!  Get out!

This is their idea of a test.

I want to rip their heads off for their lack of compassion, understanding, and thought-process.

If you missed it I will say it again, it is time the man behind the curtain left!  It is because of these cyber-bullies pushing buttons, creating NOISE in my head, then placing someone like Meghan McCain in my ears and head to get a reaction out of me, so they can blame it on ignorance and hatred of her sexuality, politics, or family.

This is an untruth very, very, very close to criminal behavior.

Creating a problem in my head, then placing a voice in my head to respond to are not the same thing at all!

If I were you Meghan McCain I would be just as upset as I am.  These cyber-bullies do not “teach” anything other the lack of their own moral character.  If I were you Meghan McCain I would be ashamed that you were used in such a way.

It is very close to criminal behavior.

As if I for one moment give a care about another person’s life or sexuality except when it causes harm to another person or themselves.

Have you had to go on trial to prove your sexuality, Meghan McCain?  Or anyone else in the entire free-world?!

No, I thought so.

But, I have.  For years.

I made this comment in my head several weeks ago, remember Matthew Shepard?  Beaten to death for being gay and left to die on a fence.

I thought it had happened in the 80’s.

No, it was 1998?!

Have we learned nothing about each other and the world?!

This is 2018?!

We are still killing each other and fighting each other because of sex and gender?!

I want to scream and yell and tear my skin off I am so upset by these notions in this day and age!!!!!

Co-exist?!

How many years has this PR band-wagon been playing?

I used to buy into this notion that it was acceptable and correct to co-exist.

I say NO!

No, it is not enough.

And, no it is not the way it should be – EVER.

It is not enough to say that it is acceptable to live on the same or different sides of the street.

This is it?!

This is all that we as Americans, citizens of the world, human beings are ONLY capable of – existing?!

I demand more!

I demand that we think more!

I demand that we believe more!

I demand that what we do as a nation, as a society, as people is more than exist with one another even if we never meet in our entire lifetime.

What we create, what we put out in the world, what thoughts we create, what worlds we imagine are more than existing.

It has nothing to do with sex, gender, or color it has to do with belief!  With believing in people!  With believing the possibility for more in people IS POSSIBLE!

If you are wondering about the connection or puzzle piece between the McCain’s and me, it is my conversation with Stephanie Meyer.

I told her in my head of my belief in the power of people.  In believing in people.  It has nothing to do with their body, the size or shape of them, the color of their skin, their nationality, their country of origin, their hair color, eye color, sexuality, religion, or anything other than the power of believing in people.

That possibility exists within people.

Because of this conversation I was electrocuted.

Let me paint this picture for you.  Could you believe it was possible that saying and having such thoughts of truth could bring condemnation upon yourself?

Effects were used to burn my skin, it felt like I had been struck with lighting down my back and neck.

How do I get to get help for that?  How do I get to explain that?!

I had to keep working.  After being electrocuted.

This first time was not enough, they had to up their own stakes by placing a terrorist in my head.

How is this possible to allow?  To allow to continue?

Every day is not enough to simply NOT kill each other.

Fighting over matters that are not problems should never take place.

You and they failed to understand I can see and read brains.

Do not get it confused Meghan McCain was careful and considerate even after I told her to leave.  The blame belongs with the cyber-bullies who have not been challenged to heart-think with their mind.

So, I challenge you, cyber-bullies put down your VR, take a step back, step out of the shadows and into the light, allow the fresh air to breathe life back into you.

It is time you remember you are more than your job, paycheck, or clothing.

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Because I am at a loss as to understanding the soap and coffee situation.  Because of the events of 4/23/2018 and 4/24/2018 I feel more delays in my writing are happening.

I have to go back to bed.  To lie down.  To rest.

But, what I want are vitamins, clean skin, lotions, the smell of perfume, water as I am so thirsty, clean clothes.

I don’t know how to get that.