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September 9, 2018
Watch, she is going to try and write me up because I didn’t do something on her chore list like replace the batteries in my fire alarm, or vacuum, or something like that.
Is he really about?! Read on.
He brings me coffee in bed because I am too worn out. And because he is here in my life in my bed sharing life with me, flesh to flesh, my mind gets to working. Just some coffee and soon I am off thinking and making lists of things I want done around the house to make it a home. He is off around the house doing whatever he wants and needs to do. For I am not that difficult of a person.
A person should not be difficult to love. If a person is too difficult to get to, or unavailable emotionally, or too strict, or too much, you stop wanting to love them. In fact, you don’t love them.
Soon, I give him my honey-do list of things I need. He will get them. He thinks I have good ideas too. And, he wants a home as much as I do.
It is Sunday, Family Day in my mind. So, we have a get together of all our families. Belgium waffles with maple syrup, European butter, or Irish butter, your choice. Sliced strawberries and blueberries, and whipped cream, your choice. I have such expensive taste. Fresh-squeezed orange juice, coffee and espresso, cream and sugar, and still water. Turkey bacon and turkey sausage. Sliced oranges, and sliced strawberries. Enjoy yourselves.
It is the person I used to be, eating as such because I used to be able to go running outside whenever and however I wanted, and I used to be able to work out how I wanted to as well.
We are having fun you and I, so we decide together to spend another day with just each other going to a local museum like Ringling or Chihuly, and we are going to spend the day at Sanibel Island. Sanibel is so great. It is so wealthy, yet it is still old Florida. Old pines, scrub oaks, and it is not so developed with sky-scrapers that is has lost its soil. I have no idea how long it has been since I’ve been to Sanibel.
Going through the town and shops arm and arm, my arm hanging on to your elbow to keep you close, so I can keep touching you. As gentlemen are always supposed to stand on the left of a woman. We go to the beach, sitting, reading, frolicking, and looking into each other’s eyes.
We go to the Dairy Queen as we walk, just for fun. We share some ice cream. Then, have a nice dinner in a local restaurant.
New Year’s Day 2013. David in disguise as an old man. Another younger man trying to get my attention, he did to a point. Because I saw him. I saw him and I. And I knew I was better, and worthy of more.
My whole adult life they have kept men away from me.
I knew I didn’t need to play pretend with a boy who was not bad yet was not capable of being with me fully. Because I could have mopped the floor with him without thinking.
Because I am a sexually confident woman, a self-assured woman however the number of men. They tried to pawn me off to a man and men as training wheels. As if I needed the experience, guidance. They are so wrong.
I never needed training wheels.