January 6, 2019: I Hate That Job!



January 6, 2019

Somebody lied to you, David.  Of course, I never spoke to my brother about you, David.  It is so obvious that I would not speak to my brother about something so intimate.  The day we said good-bye to each other as you went off to University, I let you go.  I knew you had made a decision in your mind, and I was no longer there.  The love that used to be there is gone.

You did not see, you failed to recognize that is was not David that I needed.  I did not need David to be the proxy.  I went straight to the source, immediately, as soon as I saw it.  I have done so every time.  I can, turn it off.

I used to weigh 109, I hate that job.

I understand that it is how someone saw me.  Benedict Cumberbatch is the best approximation of me, my talent, my skill, my charm, my good looks, my attractiveness, yet as a man.  I am obviously seen as a woman.

It has been taken waaaaaaaaaaaaay out of context.  Because you are not able to understand how quickly it changes and moves back and forth within the script.

How could you associate with those neighbors, David?!  How could you stand there in their driveway, watching me work in my yard, and not even walk up, walk over, and just start talking?!  All you could do is stand there and watch me?  And talk about me to those neighbors?!

Sirens, alarms, SCREAMING, in my head in the presence of Nicole.  SCREAMING!  SCREAMING!  SCREAMING!  SCREAMING!  SCREAMING!  IT SCREAMS IN MY HEAD AROUND HER, ALWAYS HAS!  She is mean, cruel, vindictive, manipulative, it is very bad!

If you in any way cast an Adam because of the Adam that my brother was seeing, God help you.  That Adam I had such a bad and strong reaction to, he is on his own.  They used him through my brother to get to me.  He is nothing more than a piece of trash who used my brother for money.

If you in any way allowed “KC” to create the scenario of my hysterectomy, God help you.  Obviously, she cannot be my father.  Obviously, I would not in any way have my father perverted in such a way.  You couldn’t be more wrong.  She is sick and looks like she has some delusional fantasy about me and my family.  She needs psychiatric help.  Not from me.  Wow, I must agree to everything she says and does, or my job is in jeopardy, I hate that job.

You (many people) were sold bad information.  The betting on his life, Mycroft’s life, is about them doping my food to create the scenario of my hysterectomy.  It is not about weight gain.  It is about how grotesque obesity is seen.  It is like people sitting around a police scanner listening to the calls going out and “guessing” I bet the husband is guilty of the domestic violence, or I bet the neighbor stole this or that.  “Bet”, is just a figure of speech.  However, someone did take matters into their own hands, someone who is incapable of reading people, of reading me, and decided I need a hysterectomy, that I never needed to be with a man again for the rest of my life, that I never needed to have love, or anything I want, or like again for the rest of my life, wow, I hate that job.

I don’t ever get to work during the day anymore, I hate that job.

I don’t ever get to be a real person again, I hate that job.

I don’t ever get to do anything I want, like, or enjoy, I hate that job.

Lambert, shoots people out of the sky, he is a gunner, he is a sharp-shooter, he is a marksman, it has absolutely nothing to do with the direction, down.  You are wrong.  I hate that job.

My blinds are closed because I feel tricked from last night at work.  I hate that job.

They use the air to bald me.  Because?!  Because they took the top off my light outside my garage and I am supposed to change it with the one next to me?!  I hate that job.

Wet underwear!  I hate that job!

Balding me!  I hate that job!

I used to weigh 109!  I hate that job!

Here’s what the Peak t-shirt designs say to me, the yellow semi-truck shirt, is just about racing cars.  The airplane t-shirt is just about using Amazon as a cover for a drug business, obvious to me, I don’t agree with that or will allow it.  The Peak shirt with the smile on the sleeve is just about Lambert and Maurice, they both have slim waists.  None of them are that interesting to me.  Not anymore, I hate that job.

I don’t ever get to be a real person again, I hate that job.

I don’t ever get to do anything I want, ever again, I hate that job.

I am so unhappy, so upset, I hate that job!

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