AUTHORIZED ACCESS ONLY!
July 29, 2019
But, I don’t.
I am prepared to believe you any minute now, but I don’t.
I told you not to bring him around. I told you not to bring him near me. I told you not to. Perhaps I was thinking of my own protection and not yours. He doesn’t love me anymore. He broke up with me. No one is happy or in love anymore. I am devastated. I am tired of swollen, tear-soaked eyeballs crying – again – over a man who doesn’t love me anymore. Just like David. Now, I have no love whatsoever for any of those men. None. I am devastated.
Were you jealous because the real Hannibal Lecter does better work than you? And, that is why you planned and plotted to take him away from me? Because the combination of me and him working together was too successful?!
By my weight in code, I do not believe you.
I think you underestimated my importance – by a lot – not only in this process, but my ability. You took a man away from me because my manner, my approach, my thinking to bring about a change in a man’s past behavior and actions was to befriend him. Are you fucking kidding me?! Why am I the only one who understands that intelligence work is about building relationships?
I am devastated.
I have been tricked in my own home after I made it most clear I had a boyfriend, I had a man I wanted to be the only one, and you tricked me for reasons that do not make any sense. You have people around me who are actually thinking about planning a wedding! How absurd! They are in their minds planning a wedding to an already married man! It is most absurd! I took down my awards, I took them off my wall because I will not allow myself to continue to be used by proxy so married men will stay married. They should do that on their own. This is not the best use of my help.
The one man who needed my help the most, the one person who needed my help the most was the real Hannibal Lecter, and simply because the way I work, the way I see and know will work, would work was to befriend him, you immediately started working to take him away.
You completely underestimate me; you completely underestimate the power of my feelings! Do you think the reason I am seen as The Ancient One in the movie, Doctor Strange has anything to do with spells, or everything to do with visualizing in movie form so others are able to see what actually happens in mind work and brain thinking. Showing a person as a mirror their true (Astral) self.
You have people who have read me as physical. This would have been as a child. Physical, physicality, it is in too many movies in action and in dialogue such as the line in Silence of the Lambs, my driver detests physical labor, reads: my driver, physical. This goes back to the time my mother’s arm was injured and I had to help her drive by changing the gears, I think I was seven or eight years old at the time.
Physical corresponds to sexual. I was never sexually immature; I was simply underage. Sexually immature means you have no idea how to think about bodies, body parts, and the correct placement of them in your head and mind. They have always seen me as an adult child, or I wouldn’t have been responsible for ending the goddamn Vietnam war! Do you think an immature child, an immature brain would be capable of ending the Vietnam war?!
I have been read as physical, so what do these morons do? They physically place “reads” on me such as up my nose, for me to read. Well, that’s just dumb. Do you think a person who is a mirror would be better able to read it off of another person instead of on their own person? I do.
I am devastated at the loss of my boyfriend. I want nothing to do with you people.
Devastated.
I am on strike, I am too fat and weigh too much, I want a day shift.
WE - DO NOT AGREE! 