September 9, 2019: READ: WARNING: I’M UNEMPLOYED!

September 9, 2019

I was getting paid to write before, while on “leave” I was getting paid.  I’m not getting paid anymore.  I am really pissed.  I am still made as hell.  I really don’t like this man, is he English?  Yelling at me, still.  I don’t appreciate being yelled at when I’ve done nothing wrong.  I’ve done nothing wrong.  You’re trying to relieve your guilt by blaming me for something that has no consequence.

I am beyond in my upset regarding Harry.  Beyond.

I’m unemployed.  I’m not writing anymore.

September 7, 2019: READ: WARNING: Stop Hurting Me

AUTHORIZED CLEARANCE PERSONNEL ONLY!

 

September 7, 2019

If you haven’t figured out by my lack of writing, I cannot trust you people anymore.  I am at a loss for words over what feels like deception and lies.  It is unwise, we are not friends.  If there was a time, we were friends, you’ve lost me.

Again, I want no harm to come to this family.  However, I am not a friend, nor am I a foe.  You fired me because I love my boyfriend, love David, and you seek to want to take that away from me.

It has been more than twenty-eight years since I’ve had a boyfriend or any romantic male companionship, and you fired me for loving them.

Stop de-coding movies and television like it is Gospel.

No one believes in me anymore, that is another reason I’ve stopped writing.

When you’ve brought a resolution to the Vietnam War like I have…a loss for words.

I reject your man/woman team, Britain.  I am so appalled.  I am so hurt.  I am a real person, not a bargain, or a trade, for you to use as you please.

I feel I can no longer trust any of you, pound for pound for have proven untrustworthy.

I am so hurt.

Septemeber 5, 2019: READ: WARNING: I Am Beyond In My Tolerance For Incompetence

AUTHORIZED CLEARANCE PERSONNEL ONLY!

 

September 5, 2019

If the date of the London bombing in the movie Zero Dark Thirty is correct, the date was specific, and it is not code for my name, it is the age I was when I moved from California to Oregon.  The move from California to Oregon was orchestrated by a subversive against the United States and its allies.

River Phoenix’s death is code of for PR, Public Relations, meaning someone wanted the attention and notoriety of a celebrity’s death.  Someone would have had to have been close enough to the person who gave River Phoenix his death drugs because it is a slight of hand trick, most likely.  It is connected to the time I took a red-eye flight from LAX to TPA, Los Angeles airport to Tampa International.  Someone had a tail on an intelligence person who watched me get on my flight to Tampa.  That is the connection.

Black September tells me someone created such a diversion they culled files of intelligence while the worlds attention was on the event.  It makes no other sense, if they were sent to kill athletes, they would have killed them and not been noticed.  So, to want the worlds attention, says another plan was in play.

Jodie Foster looks like she was cast in The Silence of The Lambs as code, Jo, die, meaning it was meant for me to figure out that my maternal grandmother’s death was murder, and not natural causes like a stroke.  And, it looks like I have stopped and prevented more than one attempt on Jodie Foster’s (killing celebrities makes no sense) life, probably for the reason that she is not a good enough representation of me as the Weapons of Mass Destruction working within the FBI from other people’s point of view.  Again, since I know who I am, what I am capable, and able to do should stop the “killing” of celebrities by natural causes, like heart attack, stroke, or overdose.

And, CELEBRITIES AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD, STOP TAKING DRUGS!  IT MAKES YOU AN EASY TARGET!  DUH!  THESE PEOPLE AREN’T YOUR FRIENDS!

There is information I need in my boyfriend, besides the fact that I am unwillingly to unlove him, just as I am unwilling to unlove David.  My life is not real.  I have also known my boyfriend the longest, just about, since I have known of him before, I moved back into my parent’s home.

No More Lies has more than one meaning, it is not just about my bed or bedroom, it also means, No Double Agents, No Subversive Work.  Get it?

I find it very difficult to trust anyone since you’ve fired me, and I am unemployed.

I believe everyone has failed to understand the importance of men in pants, trousers, or denim jeans.  Men in dresses or skirts will only emasculate a man.  Something I am not interested in doing to any man.  It serves no purpose.

The dog shot in John Wick 3 by the man who looks like a Vincent Cassell cover, just looks like an example, and not real intelligence, or the work of a real man.  It is an example of what would happen if you killed a penitent man working with Cherith.  Meaning, I would not take it well.  Since, these men are working for the good guys.

The sword through the hands in John Wick 3, just means, and this is really not that exciting, Cherith never liked the movie, Swordfish.  Probably because there is something wrong in it, only talks to correct the television from Sherlock.

David is seen as the man who works with Dr Julia Kelly in the movie, The Peacemaker, taking orders from me, and me, the military man, with the exception of dialogue, we weren’t meant to find the video until after he was dead, meaning until after Cherith was dead.

If David was seen (supposedly) as the only man in Amazon who wore pants, I am telling you it is better that David, as he is all man, was the man then to have ANY OTHER MAN SEEN AS A MAN/WOMAN!  A HE/SHE, NOT A TEAM, BUT AN EMASCULATED MAN!

I AM BEYOND IN MY TOLERANCE FOR SUCH INCOMPETENCE.

ABC, does not necessarily mean fire extinguisher, it means, cab, cab means the movie, Collateral, and Collateral means there were pin-hole cameras, or other means of watching me while I was working at the call-centers, just like mentioned in the movie, Zero Dark Thirty.  Just like the scene of the cab driver warning the lawyer someone was in the building trying to kill her in the movie, Collateral.

Are there actual bones, or some part of my mother, if only some of her ashes that have been placed in that Amazon building?  The only way to detect that would be if there was some maintenance work done on the building after 2014.

If Charly has not been an edited name into the movie Chocolat, it says, Chief Charlie’s, Chief Charlie’s says, David Baker, Baker, says both Baker Street and Downing Street.  The dog being back and white, if this was done on purpose, that says, the Oracle in The Matrix.  If this FBI man’s former partner identified herself as a black woman, it is not a good sign.  It says she believed herself to be, dirty, not doing clean work.

Chocolat, the title of the movie, looks like code: Baker’s chocolate, a baking chocolate, and Baker Street.  Is this interesting to anyone?  Really?

Chief Charlie’s is where I performed Dinner Theater (full of nothing but snow-birds, meaning people from Canada, elderly, and retired who were more interested in the lame, disgusting, over-cooked meal than the show) with my former fiancé, Right Bed, Wrong Husband with a very overweight David Baker.  He was probably 260, or clos to 300 pounds, and tall, full head of hair.

His Last Vow episode of BBC’s Sherlock, with me as Magnussen, Pressure Points, code: PP, pee-pee, meaning bathroom or toilet.  They disabled my mother, disabled daughter.  Lady Smallwood, her husband as a pressure point, this is this other blonde woman (is she FBI?) who does not like my other FBI man, and was she a former partner of my FBI man?  It’s not good, if it is true.  Small is the code, I was supposed to be small.  Not kept overweight, and hairy.

Twilight, the vampires in Twilight, do suggest that brain researched persons like my boyfriend are able to live and function normal lives, and not return to criminal activity.  Vegetarians has more than one meaning, it refers to masturbation instead of sexual intercourse, specifically, straight, sexual intercourse, um, sex.  A person survives masturbating, but it is not really living.

The reason the cat wears a hat, in The Cat in the Hat, is just a way of showing, describing, giving a visual aid to show brain research, as the hat is the skull our brains are housed in.  And, Ron Howard would have directed the newer version of The Grinch because he also directed, A Beautiful Mind.  Whose mind?  Mine.

And, I was correct, wasn’t I?  I have always said this notion of painted black, was wrong.  And, Benedict Cumberbatch did correct it with me, to be seen as correcting it, with my right shoulder/arm, since he was in his own skin color.

There was a paparazzi piece with Benedict Cumberbatch arriving in LAX wearing a plaid shirt of blue hues, it was meant for me to see, I still remember it.  How long ago was that?  More than decade, less than two decades.

Please do not tell me, it was a former girlfriend of Benedict Cumberbatch’s that had me not look at Brandon in the eyes, was it?  On the last night of my night shift?  Most likely, it was because she hurt him.  Didn’t she?  She didn’t actually hurt him because they spent all those years together, and it turns out, she didn’t really love him?!  It would make me angry, if no one figured that out since I’ve always liked Benedict Cumberbatch.  Please don’t tell me they had a financial arrangement as a couple, did they?  This would also make me angry since I find money, in this way, gauche.

Must not rule in Sherlock, also suggests, that people were worried that me, being a mirror, was not a good thing to have being seen in connection to the British royal family.  Um, why?

And the lie, or reason behind, my former manager and I not being allowed to be alone together would be because a gay woman was using a straight woman as my manager to try and manage me?

Something else is still wrong, still.

Charles Augustus Magnussen being a newspaper man, means the movie, Newsies, Newsies being a double feature I saw with Beauty and the Beast in Lakeland, Florida, the location is not important, meaning, most likely, a double agent working within the team or department that was working with me at Disney when I worked there.  And, without me going through my records (which could have been altered by now) I am pretty sure one of my mother’s strokes (the last two strokes were the most damaging, one in 2005 and the other in 2006, the last one causing her complete dependence on care, nursing care, or skilled care) was before the London bombing in 2005.

Charles Augustus Magnussen, means, CAM, CAM mean MAC, the reason for the wielding of a knife in that episode, MAC, means zoot suits, zoot suits means the movie, Drunken Angel, Drunken Angel, means Japanese military and the man I saw as a good man and representation of the Japanese government when I saw him in the eighties, at my home in Gresham, Oregon, when I dropped to the ground on my knees weeping with delight, as in that moment I understood all the work this man had done with our Japanese exchange student to show the worth and truthfulness of the Japanese government working with the United States, who went on to have a yellow Toyota car that she sent us pictures of, it was such a nice and gracious gesture, to me, just a child, I cried.

Is this really of any interest to anyone?  It seems completely insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

There is a timeline here, Xeriscaping, Zero Dark Thirty, Xeriscaping being what, well, my whole family did at every one of the homes we’ve lived in since I’ve been alive, Xeriscaping: my front yard specifically, in our Plant City home, I re-did after my mother’s strokes, in front of the kitchen window, I planted a birch tree (I love Birch trees, so visually interesting) with a bronze, solar-powered tiered bird bath, I took out the old hedge, replanted it in our yard, I did not throw it away, I re-purposed it within our yard, I replaced it with Loropetalum for the color (it also does not need to be regularly trimmed or pruned against our yellow with white trim house, I built a small dry stone border as I widened the sidewalk with loose stones or rock and pavers, for two people to walk since my mother needed someone to walk with her always, Agapanthus (Agapanthus is found often in California, not in Florida, I love them) on the other side of the walkway, Plumbago in front of the mailbox that cascaded blooms over the nearly three foot height dry stone retaining wall.  An Almond tree, a Dogwood tree (these blooms might be important, what Capital(s) have Dogwood trees, Camphor tree (natural bug repellent) I cut down to make a stump for a bird feeder, it was blocking the sunshine for most of the yard, a cinnamon tree, an Aspen tree (most beautiful leaves in the breeze), and I am not sure that is everything as I am getting tired of writing; however, the birch tree, is significant, since Tom Cruise gave an interview at one of his houses, where he had a Birch tree grove.

Birch tree says, TB, tuberculosis, nurses talked about it with me when my mother was in the nursing homes, they tested her for TB, as a skin prick, negative.  TB, meaning, Tube, or the London Underground, and something isn’t making sense other than to say it looks like the works of a double agent.  Or is it?

Also, we had a night-blooming cactus in our backyard, that my mother gave cuttings of as gifts, to more people than I would be able to name.  I have written this more than once, and grapefruits the size of watermelons, with skin inches thick, it was not the most delicious, but the size was incredible, given as gifts to people.

There are certain people who would have an appreciation for a garden, its design, and its beauty, that others might not.  Might not be able to see its significance or purpose.

September 4, 2019: READ: WARNING: No Wonder Timothy Was Pissed

AUTHORIZED CLEARANCE PERSONNEL ONLY!

 

September 4, 2019

Everyone better fucking pay attention if my Timothy is pissed.  No wonder Timothy was mad, and not just mad, pissed, you fucking idiots!  Do you really want to piss off the American military?!  The United States military?!  Do you really?!  You just fucking did, you dumb fucks!

Timothy, you mind explaining to me how they got to out-rank you?  Block you?!

There is no such thing as rivals.  It is all made up.  Make-believe.  No one should listen or buy that story.

David the reason this man got to yell at me for doing my job, was what?!

Please tell me you did not fire me because two royals are already divorced?!  Please do not tell me any one of you were that idiotic.  Please tell me you didn’t fire me because Andrew and Sarah are divorced?!

There is nothing wrong with divorce.

Did you actually fire me based off of one line of dialogue in BBC’s Sherlock?!  You fucking morons!

Must not rule?!  This is a detainee that is already DETAINED!!

Did you think it was about any of you or are you so self-interested you just want to know about yourselves?!

Who do you think benefits from the protocols with royals?  The royals or the commoners?  Both.  However, what I have seen in these men is a mindful pursuit in those who are willing to trust their own self.  Some might call that confidence; I call it my well of truth.

My well of truth I see within myself, is a place deep within the center of the earth, inside my being, a very deep well, indeed, surrounded by the largest boulders and rock, boulders and rock that have been around since the dawn of time, I see myself in this water, surrounded by the boulders and rock, with very little light from above, as the water is not dark, and I place whatever belief I might have, a thought, a truth, an idea, a solution, anything, I place myself in that water with the thought or truth I am determining, and when the boulders and rock no longer vibrate, cause a disruption in the water, when the boulders and rock and water do not move, are completely motionless, completely still, I know it is the truth – for me.

Everyone should have their own well of truth.  Find your own.

Did some dumb morons just want me to know what it feels like to be un-popular?!  Not the favorite?!  Wow, like I haven’t been there before.

How about you fucking morons, do the world a favor, grow the fuck up, and DON’T PISS OFF THE UNITED STATES MILITARY!  I FUCKING LIVE HERE!

September 4, 2019

September 4, 2019

He’ll want to know this information: the bombing scene in Zero Dark Thirty, we’re being social.  This is a meet that a man would have requested to see me, and they arranged it at a restaurant.  I met with other women (women) I worked with and we exchanged Christmas presents.  However, the meet this man wanted to see was me with another man.  To be see dating.  To see me dating.  Out with men, as I wanted to be, as it was so very obvious that is what I wanted.

I did on other occasions have lunch with a man a few times after my shift.  He was in his early twenties, or just eighteen, he was awfully young, so the age difference did not allow for any conversation to be romantic in any way.  I was nearly thirty, I was not looking for a boy-man, I needed a man-man, still do.

The bombing of the bus, in Zero Dark Thirty, says, reads, the movie, Speed, Speed says, California, and the location of the bombing tells me there were English who were working, or cooperating, or involved somehow with me, and my work, who were not straight, or Americans working in UK offices.  Because I can see and brain-know the origin of a message all the way back to the original person.  So, if a straight person was asked by a gay person to tell me something, especially at my workplace, it will be read on me.

September 3, 2019

September 3, 2019

Did you think I was going to continue working in the same way, for free?

I really don’t like being lied to, I really don’t like being tricked, I really don’t appreciate being treated in this way.  What has been the real purpose for all these years because I very much doubt it has anything to do with entertainment?

When you put together a puzzle, a jigsaw puzzle, what is the first thing you do?  You place all the pieces on a surface, and the first thing you do is find all the border pieces.  The border pieces of the puzzle that happen to all have one side that is straight.  When you put the border pieces together, usually, I do, most people, place all the border pieces where they look like they will go together according to the picture before you place the intersecting pieces into one another.  Until you’ve started putting all the pieces together what might look like one piece belongs on one side might actually belong to the other side.

Loyalties change, sides change, they might actually stop fighting the Taliban, and start fighting each other, from 12 Strong.  Perhaps this has nothing to do with politics, or tribal leaders, and perhaps it is possible they are actually following films, movies, and the cinema.

Make friends with us river rats from Chocolat, and you’ll make enemies of others, code: Figure out that River Phoenix’s death was murder and not an overdose, and the real criminals will have to go to jail.  Because I never believed River Phoenix’s death was an accidental or purposeful overdose.  I have believed it was murder.  I have always like River Phoenix as an actor.  So, this tells me, someone or people found a way to try and get my attention.  So, it is also possible that the celebrity deaths could stop, just because I know who I am, and who I am to people.

You will be our enemy if you stay, from 12 Strong, this has nothing to do with the US military or its allies, this is – again – allowing gays to interfere with the work, specifically brain work, but also allowing gays to be involved with Cherith.  So, historically, they have attacked our homeland because you allowed gays to be seen as having fired me, and you did it again.

Tell me you didn’t submit the paperwork, from 12 Strong, this is deceptive because when they fired me at Hilton, they didn’t walk me out of the building like they were supposed to.  They let me get my things and leave.  This tells me, they were afraid someone in the building would see me fired before they had time to prevent it.

I am not doing well.  This feels like death around here.  I have no interest in continuing going on job interviews for fake companies like they have done since 2012 before they let me have a job from a real company.  It’s the same pattern.  Whether it is a real location and real company before I ever get to the job interview, they have already decided whether or not I will be employed.

I would not have placed my pristine military man with that woman.  I would have placed him on a better team.  A two straight man team as it is supposed to be with me, a man on the ground and a man who reads me.  No bullshit.

Your glory lust for my talent is most unbecoming of everyone who has used me to get ahead in your careers and not mine.

Of course, I wanted to further my career, I have never wanted to stay an entry-level worker all my life.  Bring me back a bottle, from Zero Dark Thirty, code: bring me back.

Joe Bradley and Dan in Zero Dark Thirty are the same man, it looks like this other FBI man, and it looks like he was working on other things to be focused on Osama Bin Laden.  And, it is true, he really doesn’t understand Pakistan or Al Qaeda, the way I do.  However, he still has information that people will need.

This house in the movie, Munich, with the chandelier on the floor, the house being a person I wrote before that I wouldn’t have trusted; this is the bleeding Vicar.  This is a Catholic priest.  I like him, I like this man, but I wouldn’t have trusted him with any intelligence work because he doesn’t have the mind for it.  He doesn’t understand the criminal mind.  I am sure he has done other good work, or he wouldn’t have been involved in the movies, but I wouldn’t have trusted him.  He is seen again in the movie, Chocolat, as the Priest, and singing, you ain’t nothing but a hound dog, just confirms what I’ve already written.  Hound dogs being penitent men.

If you don’t understand the criminal mind, intelligence work, is not where the person belongs.

Is this actually real?  I am finding it most difficult to believe Harry’s marriage.  Did they actual have Harry marry an actress with black skin, just because of the heavy stickers at Amazon, red and black.  Meaning Harry’s red hair, her black skin, and when I was (sort of) around Harry before I was too fat and heavy for him to be attracted to me?

If this is in any way true, a straight-forward approach would have been better, if you wanted me to figure out it was Harry that day in December.  This trying to story-tell events, I find most gruesome.  And I don’t believe them anymore.

I want no harm to come to any of them, but I don’t want to be involved.  My feelings have been most hurt.

Do you know this picture of Harry with his face shaven, I have not allowed myself to think it in a sentence until today, audible or inaudibly, this picture looks like a boy I know?  Have known.  Like, Bella and Jacob from Twilight, we used to make mud pies together.  I have no idea how that could be unless it was from when I lived in Gresham, Oregon.  Perhaps, I read it off of a man who was near me.

I am sure, you thought I would rush to my computer and write after watching John Wick 3.  You guessed wrong because of my situation.  When John Wick and the other man go to sit down on the sofa with their backs to the camera, as the audience you visually place the other man on the other side of the sofa after John Wick sits down.  When this other man gushes over John Wick at being allowed to meet John Wick, I don’t think anyone but me understand how funny that bit really is.  It was the funniest thing I’ve seen in decades.  Decades.

There is also so much sadness in that dialogue it’s more than one person could hold onto.  It was like seeing on film how I’ve made another man laugh (as this is about one real man) for decades.  And it is not true, I have disappointed him.  Probably for one reason alone, how many decades has it taken for me to see I am already in the movies, as intelligence.

Most of John Wick 3, is really not interesting to me, I don’t see movies the same anymore.  All the stunts and actions really could be from all these years of men using virtual reality, and since I don’t usually know who is on the other end, I’ve fought back, punched, and beaten the living shit out of them.  By now, people should have figured out, I am not the laying down woman type.

No, we are not the same, as this person then changes into another person.  The dog shot would have been a man I cared about.  So, it would have made me angry.

Is all anyone cares about is the code in movies?  Pay me for it then.

The chocolate shop in Chocolat is not a chocolate shop, it is my backyard in Plant City, Florida.  My mother did plant all sorts of exotic plants, some from retail stores, some from the University of South Florida, they held an annual plant sale that was open to the public, and my mother planted things that were not common.

One plant that happened to end up in between our backyard fence and the fence of our neighbor was a Dragon fruit.  I had never seen one before, we had some neighbor over at our house, and this man told me it was a bad plant to be destroyed.  I have no idea why any person would want to appear so dumb as this man is to me by speaking to me in this way.  It is manipulation and I believe manipulation is not a smart thing.

I am not Catholic, I am a Christian, I have been baptized in a Presbyterian church; however, I do not believe in the politics of Christian denominations.

Christ said, I am the way, the truth, and the light.  He didn’t say, I am the Baptist way, the Presbyterian way, and so on.  He said, I am the way.  I believe.  I believe it.  And, I did stop going to church, but I have not stopped believing in God or Christ His Son.

Every father is a son.  Not every son is a father.

Juliette Binoche is code for Juliette, as in Romeo and Juliette.  As in one of the greatest love stories of all time.  Tragic, but true.  Like David and me.

The imaginary kangaroo that hops away from the little girl, is not a good thing, this is Cherith no longer believing in herself, her abilities, or everything she has already done.  The little girl and Juliette are the same person.

The wheel in the shop is my inner ear.  Or people’s inner ear.  Someone once told me that women were better marksman and shots because they had better inner ears.  I wonder now if this is in any way true, or just another time someone told me about myself, as this was said to me when I was on campus at college.

Juliette’s performance is pretty close to how I was when I moved back to my family’s home, people would almost use me like confession, talk to me when I was working, and I would make them better.  Guess their favorite as in guessing how I could make them laugh when they didn’t want to, and not everyone thought my humor was appropriate, as if it made me appear not serious enough.  I did it, of course, I used my humor, mostly because I am so over serious.  Most people saw it as a way to deflect how embarrassed and upset I was at my body size, as I am still upset about my body size.

Why is this a constant in my head, failed to meet.

Whose safety is everyone actually worried about mine or Harry’s?  Or someone else’s?  If Harry is actually in any way interested still in me, he couldn’t have chosen a more dangerous woman if he tried.  I am known by terrorists, criminals, in and out of prison, by spies, intelligence, I am known around the world.

I am really not interested in writing more about the events that happened at Amazon, you placed a gray pick up truck in front of me here, having them open the gate, then you have a line of other cars behind me.  To me, this was a set-up, a set-up for failure, so I DID NOT FOLLOW.  So, that the line of cars behind me, did not meet their doom.  I am in no way interested in having people follow me, if it only leads to their demise.  Got it?!  I do not have a lust for power if it is obtainable at the expense of others.  There is no victory in that.  Not for me.

The Cat in The Hat is a way of telling children how to protect their minds from intrusion, brain research, people are not supposed to hurt children’s minds when their parents are away, or while they are sleeping.  The cat shows you how to clean up your mind, categorize, deduct, rule out other possibilities, and so on.  This is also done, biblical, as in putting on the Lord’s armor.

Thing One and Thing Two, are men’s balls, and you’ll need a set of mental balls when dealing with brain research.

Why did you never date me, David?

My boyfriend is the first man to have loved me back from Michael.  Loved me back from pain and hurt, and brain-malfunction.  He loved me because he saw the truth in it.  Straight love back to my mind.  I am so grateful to him for that.

If this is in anyway true and not just edited in, if the name Harry, in Buckingham Palace, in Sherlock was in the original script it is meant to show, there was a problem with my facial hair, as it was not in my family or Norwegian genes.

I am not working.

I am not doing well.  There will be a lot of people who are happy about that.

Good-bye.

August 31, 2019: READ: WARNING: Something’s Wrong

August 31, 2019

I have approached this day with trepidation.  Now, I know why, something is wrong.  What have you people done?  What have you allowed?  Something is wrong.

If you haven’t figured it out, I am unhappy because my life if not real.  I am ceasing my writing until further notice.

August 30, 2019: READ: WARNING: When Do I Get My Life Back?

August 30, 2019

What I walked into on August 27, 2019 was a multi-scale war.  Louis is not a good man.  He still reads bad; you should be worried.  I am no longer working, so I have no reason to rehabilitate him, or solve, or fix the problems that have already started.  Louis has yet to make it into my military.  Multi-scale war.  That is what I saw.  Make sure he does not escape.

They would have me believe he is responsible for my mother’s death, and my surgery.  If this is true I have yet to see anything that would appease the other side for this loss, yet.  I have already told you what they will do, and Louis is worried.

They wanted a body, in a body bag with the kill of Osama Bin Laden, that is why they sent that team in.  I would have wanted to drop a bomb just like in the movie, Zero Dark Thirty.  With all your dip, gear, and bull-shit, code: dip, smokeless tobacco, Bubba Gump, this would have been a real military man that I would not have approved of, it does not mean it is from the same time of my military work.  Gear, code: drugs, I do not approve of drug use, this is probably also other military men while on active duty using narcotics.  Bull-shit, code: lying, meaning not telling the truth about work they were doing.  These are things I don’t tolerate, if they don’t make it, they don’t make it.

My boyfriend in all the work he has done, has always done a verification check with me when we were working.  He knows the truth of it.

It should be of great concern that I am not living a real, normal life.  How many men are going to be brought to me that we will be good matches for each other and I never get to be seen with them in the flesh?  To never marry for real?

It should be of great concern.  When do I get to be a real person?  When do I get my life back?

August 29, 2019: READ

August 29, 2019

I am miserable.  I don’t want to eat.  I am finding it difficult to drink, anything at the moment, including coffee.  I am only writing at the moment because it looks like from Louis point of view, this, being with me, listening to me, is helping him.  Well, isn’t that a good thing?  That’s the way I see it.

I have no idea why you fired me for no reason and no cause.  Just like you did when I worked at Hilton.  I have been saying this over and over, and writing it, that it is a problem in the world for Hilton to be seen as having fired me, the threat is not from me, it is from others.  I have, more than once, told people to make a deal, so that Hilton will not be seen as responsible anymore.

He needs to realize how helpless he is, from Zero Dark Thirty, reads: intelligence, US intelligence needs to realize not how helpless, but how helpful I am to them because I am the way that has ended wars and regimes, and I actually help because it is the correct thing to do.

It is really disturbing to me just looking at my manager, she literally creeps me out.  Especially when she does hand moves over her crotch.  Gross.  I go to stand up, I listen, so why do you and everyone else threaten and punish me for good work?

You read it wrong, Louis is not interested in the affair I had with Harry.  It is of no interest to him.  The fear was what Louis needed from me to see he needs to change his ways.  He needs to find his well of truth within him, so he gets better.  He does want to live, so that makes him smarter than everyone else has made him appear to be.

I am not going to follow Louis as a leader, and that is how it was set-up.  Well, that’s not good enough.  So, why fire me?

This other Englishman does not wish or want to be involved with me, a straight woman, and a lesbian.  I have no idea why you’ve allowed him to be involved as such.

The way they set it up, I was supposed to know by every person painted black from the time of Home Depot on, that my mother was dead.  It also included a death threat to every person who participated in appearing with me.  Most celebrities probably would not have a problem since they could be seen as just doing art-type of work.  I wouldn’t do that to anyone.  I am not interested in making death threats because someone else killed my mother.

It does appear that Brianna has a crush on James Franco.  It should have been as a red flag if Brianna wanted to be seen as my manager.  It looks unhealthy, very unhealthy.

They removed the classification of my computer because the man responsible or connected to it, looks like he had his privileges revoked because of his actions.

So, at the moment, Amazon terminating me is real until otherwise.

The garage(s) in Umbrellas of Cherbourg are code for military.  The reason Guy quits the garage shows how the French dishonorably discharge their own based on conduct unbecoming.  It’s a good thing for them to show the world they require their men to conduct themselves in their duty as such.  The other garage Guy works at is just to say, another branch of the military.

The moustache on the man that Catherine marries is just to show a double agent, he looks like a Barnaby, from Babes in Toyland, he is in no way a double agent, criminal, or pervert, it is to show how France is not willing to have double agents in their intelligence.  That’s a good thing.

Kind of like Gandalf, in Zero Dark Thirty, means, you shall not pass, meaning terrorists will not be allowed to enter the United States.  It is not about penitent men.

Tall, white beard, from Zero Dark Thirty, probably does mean the woman David was then seeing, and then married?!  I actually find it difficult to believe he married her.  Since, it is obvious he doesn’t love her like that.

This other FBI man just needs to work on creating boundaries in his mind.  If David ever worked with him, it is probably why David also needs to work on creating boundaries in his mind.

If anyone is uncomfortable around David or myself, it just says, I and he, are stronger people than they are.  They’re all cowed, from Zero Dark Thirty, that is what cowed means, cowed means unable to work at the level of these very scary men.  Cowed meaning afraid.  I do not believe any strong person should have to carry a weaker person in their work performance.  It is like having to do multiple person’s jobs just because the strongest team possible was not put together.

I think she’s fucking smart, from Zero Dark Thirty because there really was a Jeremy at college with me, means he could not find the words (can’t explain, song lyric) to express my ability and talent.

Protect the homeland, in Zero Dark Thirty, I am the homeland, I am what you protect if you don’t want any more bombings or wars to occur.  That is how it reads; I am the homeland, Cherith is the homeland.

They sent an email about meeting with a person in HR to reinstate me at work.  Well, I am so miserable I went to sleep nearly as soon as I got home and stayed in bed.  I didn’t want anymore bad news.  How was I to know they would do that so quickly?  Immediate termination after being told not to do something once and then not doing it anymore, not going underneath the conveyor belt, truthfully, is very threatening, and not how to protect me.

The reason the legs at Amazon are important, that is how sex happens, that is how procreation happens.  The mayor’s wife in the movie Chocolate is to show the world that having Trinity from the movie, The Matrix, appear as genderless, sexless, androgynous, was being seen as a mistake, since it is not biblical.

No, I am not interested in hugging another woman.

My Fair Lady, the word is Fair, meaning fare, as in the fare my mother took to get from Canada to Los Angeles, California.  It is also, the one thing I couldn’t prove after my mother’s stroke, so that she would receive her Canadian pension.  My mother is seen as Audrey Hepburn in the movie, My Fair Lady, and the ball is to show how well she managed herself working in the field, she fooled a Hungarian.

All I know is my mother was in a car accident in California, in her VW, I do not know anymore information other than that, she didn’t tell anyone about it, her car accident is probably because of Umbrellas.

My mother lived her whole life telling me her gun shot wound was self-inflicted, a suicide attempt.  I no longer believe that story.  She also, kept that secret, all her life.

Am I never to be allowed to have a real life, ever again?  Am I never to get married, and have a life without being recorded?  No real life, ever again?

David do you just love the work?  Only?

If any of these men loved me, they would want this reality show to end, so we could be together, live as man and wife.  Am I never to be loved by a man in the flesh and live with him as his wife?

Making me so miserable and unhappy is not the way to create a true Vatican cameo.

Harry Potter the movie, just looks like it is from the time I was seen by English handlers when I lived in Gresham, Oregon.  Most of the characters look like me.  Hogwarts means, warts, planter’s warts, it just says the swimming pool at Mt. Hood Community College.  Hog means, Dukes of Hazard, and that means American television, and that means when I watched Great Expectations.

If the only reason you brought me into HR to terminate me was to tell me that this FBI man broke the rules and that is why he is seen in Black Hawk Down as being yelled at regarding his safety.  I am at a loss for words over it.

David did you really get back together with an old girlfriend, have sex with her, and then come to me in my bedroom, and then let your girlfriend fire me because you still choose another woman over me, just  like you did in college?  Because you still think you can do better than me?  After you’ve proven to yourself you can’t?

Whoever set that situation up, doesn’t know women at all.  They certainly do not know me at all.  I am really hurt by it, David.  Offended and hurt.

A man’s penis is in his pants.

I have no idea why after Michael, none of you in intelligence weren’t shoving dick in my face.  You should have been having me dating – constantly.  Military men, specifically.  Why did no one think of that?  It is what would have prevented, probably all of the attacks.

I am so hurt by you, again, David.  I don’t believe anyone – in the world – was really seeing it as David’s pants only.  They saw it as men.  Well, that’s where the penis is, in men’s pants.

I am so hurt, so sad, I am at a loss for words.  I don’t want to write anymore.