Category: Uncategorized

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September 17, 2018

No, Teacher I will not be washing my car, garage door, and sweeping my garage today!  Fuck you!  I am more important than a piece of machinery or vehicle!

If you haven’t figured it out yet, my blinds being closed – still – is NOT GOOD!

Since last Thursday, since the last food at my door, I have seen nothing but death for me.  Snipers, bullet-wounds, gun-shots to the chest, the head, versions of suicide, no future only death.  I have gotten to the point that I no longer can see much past it.  I have accepted it and prepared my last will and testament.

Military, you will have to leave to my left and my right.  And, The White House pressure is not worth the name.

Disney you will have to leave to the left and to the right – it is…there is just no way.

Do you understand they made a test of the Secret Service Police?!  They did not get very far, yet still?!  You allowed this?!  I was beyond upset for days about it.  A POW, a detainee, I felt was killed almost instantly.  Random killing of children and innocents.  My family.  Not to mention the White House.  Fucking UNACCEPTABLE! 

No, Donna Branda.  My mother would not be proud of me.  My life is not real.  Some things are more important.

The first thing this person does after being released from rehab is to go for my hair?!  This person wants to see me bald and bawling?!  And you allowed it?!  Fuck you!

This person tried to get me to think that Tim could not read me, thought I was nothing more than a fat lesbian that would be content to live alone my whole life.  I know better.  He is smarter than that.  He may not have thought that David and I were supposed to happen.  But, he is not that dumb.

Do you understand we are talking about vaginal reconstruction?!  Is that normal procedure for a hysterectomy?!  I don’t think so.  A woman who has never had children before would have no need to have reconstructive surgery of her vagina.  Do you understand the damage they did in that surgery that someone else paid for?!

No.  That movie is a fucking movie it has nothing to do with cleaning.  Or did you think I forgot how I was lied to for years about my mother’s death?!  It has nothing to do with hands and editing.  You fucking MORONS!

Do you not understand?!  I see them.  I see the sick obsessive, perverse, desire and wanting to control – me.  About my body.  They fondle me visually.  The lines and curves of my body.

Do you not understand, you allow this?!  It’s gross and disgusting!

I was being a good citizen.  A person who would visit a person in jail or prison they knew.  No.  No alarms went off.  No wonder when he was faking and pretend acting.  He never was in jail or prison or arrested or convicted.  He was never guilty.

Of course, we were not buddies after his release.  Why would I do that?!

I guess someone thought I needed the exposure.  Because as he saw when I was talking with him, children do not willingly seek out a person wanting to do them harm.  Do they?

Do children run up with their arms outstretched to a person who wants and desires to hurt them?!  No!  You sick fucks!!!!!!!!!!

How many years and decades have they seen and witnessed the expression on the faces of people of all ages who have never met me before?  They have no excuse.  No excuses.

This is not that difficult.  I cannot believe someone thought there was a difference other than, modes of transportation, places I’d rather be other than where I was, and me, me and my animals, my love for animals, and my ability to communicate with animals.

Real or not, who knows.  They do not do enough to keep me informed on my correct thinking and vision: Wisconsin.  A serial killer over many decades.  Perhaps had been many years ago.  He looked similar to Robin Williams in One Hour Photo.  Able to hold an hourly job, yet off enough to keep people wary.  Been off the grid before if not numerous times.  Worked at a retail store.  Skinned, flayed, and dissected his victims.  Making things from his victims.  Blood and tree sap into objects.  Intestines dried and strewn throughout woods and tree tops for wildlife to finish where there would be no evidence.  The blood.  How he loved the blood.  The warmth, the tactile of the blood.  He has a tendency to panic.  Become panicky.  Jerky.  Nervous.  Trying to escape.  It is his tell.  I told them a few weeks ago, if you find him, approach him, question him, and he becomes panicky trying to make excuses to leave, look further because it could be him.

Or, Cherith is crazy.  One or the other.

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September 11, 2018

There is a very big problem for me about.  I am very unhappy, so I am not writing nor am I reading.  Because the teacher is still about.  She and they are still about.  I am greatly, greatly, greatly unhappy, very, very, very unhappy.

Don’t like red, like blue.  Don’t like blue, like this.  Don’t like this, like that.  Don’t read that news, read this.  Don’t use this picture, use this.  Don’t wear that, wear this.  Don’t do that, do this.  Don’t do it the way you like, do it this way.  Whatever it is I like, I enjoy do it another way.  Don’t walk this way, walk that way.  Don’t go that direction, go this direction.  Don’t walk how you want, walk this way.  Don’t place the stickers how you decide, do it this way.  Don’t go here, go there.  Don’t write beards and men or with authority, write like this.  Don’t do this, do that.  On and on.  Without an end?  Ever?!

Will there ever be an end to this mindlessness?  To this mindless drivel?

I am so very, very unhappy.

I could say it was the leaves that caught my attention first, but that would be inaccurate.  It was the rose that caught my attention first, and the color.  Wow!  Really and truly, wow!  Personally, wow!  I have yet to have the time to enjoy them.  Still, wow!  How very lovely.  What a lovely gift.

How a small gesture can make all the difference in the world.  How a small gesture can create a tipping point in events.

I am not able to work any faster than I am.  I am unable to turn myself into this version of the teacher – let me show you the picture I see from she and them, half-crazed, unwashed matted hair pulled up, dirty-faced with no make-up, sweating, panting like an animal, unable to think for myself.

Let me remind you it is their job, her and their job to keep me employed.  Not to be coached by she, and her, and them.

I am unable to pay attention by being written up at work – ever again.

She is not a reflection of me.  I see her.  I see them standing behind her.  She tries to put on a front of congeniality, upbeat, she is a buffer and a front.

Last night, I see them gleefully happy at my being so worn-out, worn down to a nub, so tired from lack of sleep to accomplish a task list of chores, racing against a clock, so that I can hardly move a muscle, or pick up my feet, or move – or think.

Why?

Because I was helping.  I was working with people with governments, agencies, law enforcements, official personnel, or I was not.  Either I was helping them search through locations, or I was not.  Either I assisted, or I did not.  It is either one or the other.

It takes time to go in my mind and brain and look, see, picture, and then say, answer, or show what it is I see.  It cannot be rushed.  For a reason.

My job will not require a purchase to stay employed.

I am so very, very, very, greatly, greatly, greatly upset I am sick.

It is obvious to me what needs to be done.  I am sick with having to buy products this way or another, or a teacher task list, or a drive route weaving.  I have reached my end.

Because I stood up for Jeff Bezos as the real owner of Amazon, at work it has been turned into a heavy weight pressure against me.  Because Jeff is not a she.

I am sick.

I am just so sick.

I am so upset with sick I am no longer going to write.

My brother, as I have seen him most recently is scared.  He looks scared.  I don’t like that.

I do not bring these world leaders, I do not go to them, they are brought to me.  They are brought to me for a reason.  They are placed in front of me.  I do not go to them.

Either I warned people – for real – of real danger and real threats that were eliminated, or I dd nor.  I am not seeking this out.  I am not doing it for fame or glory.  I would rather never be in public view ever again.

David, you have never loved me the way I loved you.  I loved you enough to want nothing but your happiness and have love.  You have denied me and not allowed me to have love or be loved by a man who loves me for real.  For years, and decades.  I loved you enough to want nothing but the best version of yourself.  Greater than you thought or could imagine because I believed in you.  You have not done the same for me.  I am forever changed in how I feel about you because of these years.

I am not able to play pretend couples anymore.  I am not able to lie about this and these men.  I want them to go back to their wives and stop trying to play at stories that could never be.  I am not able to look at a proxy and pretend that it is another man and that we are involved or a couple.

I will have it for real or nothing at all.  This and I have not change since this became known to me in 2014.

I am too sick with upset to write about my cats.

I am too sick to think in food at work anymore.

I am too sick with upset to write anymore.

She told me she coded my time.  That tells me she could not figure it out.  Good.  For it, I was written up, punished, penalized, and I am sick.

She must pay for what she has done.  I am forever changed, my body is forever changed, she and they have taken something from me that is not ever able to be corrected.

You should have seen the look on my face when a nurse asked me if I was going to freeze my eggs when they were getting about to cut me open because I knew that she knew there was no way I could afford such a procedure.

I am just so sick.

She says last night, I brought this present.  As if she could ever be me.  How many years must I say she is not capable.  I have quite literally blown them out of the water with what I have done.

Either I was helping London with solid buildings that in my mind I cold only describe as hot because it was bing, bing, bing, ping, ping, ping all over the place, or I was not.

Because she and they saw me driving with the radio on full-blast in my car for years and years believed that was the extent of my value and talent.  My car is an office now.  The radio has been removed because of it.  It is an office I do not get paid for.  Either I do the work, or I do not.

Now, I am not able to purchase bacon or fake bacon because of a game?!

Either it is real, or it is not.

If it is not real do not present yourselves at my person anymore.

If it is real, I am too sick with upset anymore.

I will not write any more.  It could be a permanent change.  It could be a forever change.

I am just too sick with upset.

I am not writing anymore.

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September 9, 2018

Watch, she is going to try and write me up because I didn’t do something on her chore list like replace the batteries in my fire alarm, or vacuum, or something like that.

Is he really about?!  Read on.

He brings me coffee in bed because I am too worn out.  And because he is here in my life in my bed sharing life with me, flesh to flesh, my mind gets to working.  Just some coffee and soon I am off thinking and making lists of things I want done around the house to make it a home.  He is off around the house doing whatever he wants and needs to do.  For I am not that difficult of a person.

A person should not be difficult to love.  If a person is too difficult to get to, or unavailable emotionally, or too strict, or too much, you stop wanting to love them.  In fact, you don’t love them.

Soon, I give him my honey-do list of things I need.  He will get them.  He thinks I have good ideas too.  And, he wants a home as much as I do.

It is Sunday, Family Day in my mind.  So, we have a get together of all our families.  Belgium waffles with maple syrup, European butter, or Irish butter, your choice.  Sliced strawberries and blueberries, and whipped cream, your choice.  I have such expensive taste.  Fresh-squeezed orange juice, coffee and espresso, cream and sugar, and still water.  Turkey bacon and turkey sausage.  Sliced oranges, and sliced strawberries.  Enjoy yourselves.

It is the person I used to be, eating as such because I used to be able to go running outside whenever and however I wanted, and I used to be able to work out how I wanted to as well.

We are having fun you and I, so we decide together to spend another day with just each other going to a local museum like Ringling or Chihuly, and we are going to spend the day at Sanibel Island.  Sanibel is so great.  It is so wealthy, yet it is still old Florida.  Old pines, scrub oaks, and it is not so developed with sky-scrapers that is has lost its soil.  I have no idea how long it has been since I’ve been to Sanibel.

Going through the town and shops arm and arm, my arm hanging on to your elbow to keep you close, so I can keep touching you.  As gentlemen are always supposed to stand on the left of a woman.  We go to the beach, sitting, reading, frolicking, and looking into each other’s eyes.

We go to the Dairy Queen as we walk, just for fun.  We share some ice cream.  Then, have a nice dinner in a local restaurant.

New Year’s Day 2013.  David in disguise as an old man.  Another younger man trying to get my attention, he did to a point.  Because I saw him.  I saw him and I.  And I knew I was better, and worthy of more.

My whole adult life they have kept men away from me.

I knew I didn’t need to play pretend with a boy who was not bad yet was not capable of being with me fully.  Because I could have mopped the floor with him without thinking.

Because I am a sexually confident woman, a self-assured woman however the number of men.  They tried to pawn me off to a man and men as training wheels.  As if I needed the experience, guidance.  They are so wrong.

I never needed training wheels.

 

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September 8, 2018

I did not want to sit here and write this today.  No, you do not get an all-clear.  No, you do not get a-go.  The extent of my upset, I am so very discouraged by placing my time and energy into so very many people.

You allowed a game, a video game, and games to have control and access to me, my address, my purchases, and my home.  It has been allowed that games over the express and direct communication from world leaders as to the importance and value of me and my work, allowed disruption, shut-down, and the impendence of me, my person, my health, and the world as we know it.

My real mother is not from Georgia.  This has nothing to do with the President of the United States, this about an imposter.  A person trying to play at presidency.  I will not stand down my address from the very, very dangerousness of this disguise.

I am the credit from my real mother and my real father.  I am who I am because of them.  I am who I am because of me.

Grade yourselves.  Look at the physical appearance of me, my hair, my face, my body, the shape and size of my person and grade yourselves.  What grade would you give yourselves after what I have done for all of mankind?

Because I would fail you.

It is not a matter of recognition.  It is about contempt, disruption, and violence towards me.  Must I again remind you, I was purposefully punched in the face while at work.  At this moment I will not write about what I saw a couple of days ago.  I have my reasons.

There is a very real work about in regard to the destabilization of the United States and Western civilization.  I’ve seen it in many ways.

So, what work do I really go to everyday?  Purchases and projects?  Or, the real work?

I think the real work is of greater value, more important, and what should be done.

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September 8, 2018

No, you do not understand.  I want to leave for real.  I want to move on for real.  I have been more than patient these years.  This has taken too long.  This is too many years of my life.  I want to move on for real.  I want to leave for real.

I am not interested in working for a company or with persons that allows me to be hit!

I am disgusted in every person that has allowed this to happen.

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FEDS Work

 

September 8, 2018

No, I am not going to get my mail again.  It is so dumb.  It is as if saying every car that is on my left has power over my vehicle.  It is a proven fact they do not.  Do you really want what happened with my order to go all the way to the top?  Because it will.  I am the one.  No one else.  Do you really want that to happen?  Or, are you really and truly incapable of understanding the extreme seriousness of such actions?  Because I do not.  I will not permit such pressure to persist.  It is the actions of persons who are not able to do the real work.

I can.  I have the vision.  No one else.  I have the smarts.  I have the ability.  No one else.

I do not believe in copy cats.  I do not believe in these years of watching television or films and feeling involved, a part of it, or that it relates to me in any way.

I believe in the ability to create moments through art and artwork.

I do not believe in games.  They are not allowed in my pay grade.  This is not fun and games.  This is real life.  These are real lives at stake.  I understand that.  These other people do not and have not.  How many years must I ask for them to be removed for security?!

Since when has Canada ever been confused or replaced by the state of California?  Remove these.

I want to know why such pressure and pressures have been allowed even now?  Because I know a man and men who will not be a woman, or women, or change skin.  I have done more than my work to place correct barriers.  For a reason.  I understand these minds and I understand how they are trying to manipulate circumstances, and you will be sorry later.

Pressure is not power.  Pressure does not equal power.  And, power is an illusion.  Real strength does not have to be pressured.

I do not have to write or speak to people who are unable to do the work.

My work speaks for itself.  I have never needed these intruders since there is no place for them here.

I have not read anything in these couple of days that has been helpful.

There is programming about that should be denied access forever more.  Reduce the exposure to nil, or you will be sorry.

I am beyond unhappy these few days.  There is no creativity in busy work that is not in the correct frame of mind.

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CODE: GLAMOROUS

FEDS Work

 

September 7, 2018

Granted it requires time.  Since the actions of others have been set against time.

Need to know: I will be unable today.  Those nearby know why.  I need another day.  I am still…

Please, Hewey knows I need my gun back.  Smoking guns don’t live forever.

If you are still interested in me writing that story changes must be made.  The trac has it.  I will not allow anything less than above board, across the board to the precise igloo office.  It must be.  There is no tolerance for such behavior.  None.

Paraguay, many years ago, and the answer has never changed.  Extractions for sure.

Silent gaze.  Not to worry.

Lambert’s back?  On alert.

Lean turkey meatballs in dill sauce.  Slightly cooked green beans, a small bit of butter, salt and pepper thoroughly coated.  A dish of salad with a variety of vegetables, honey mustard vinaigrette.  Bread and butter if you want some.  Dill bread, or a crusty white with butter.  White wine in a wine glass.  Apple pie ala mode or whipped cream with grated cinnamon and dessert wine.

Coffee and espresso if you are going to be working.

Me?

Hum-ba-lala.

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MURPHY!!!!!  GET ON IT!

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Would you mind, placing a detail around my fathers.  Get on it!