Category: Uncategorized

How I miss writing this.

How I miss writing in food.

How I miss men.

I do not feel like writing this.

This is me, pushing myself to write this:

Say you’ll go with me.

Say you’ll go with me to the farmer’s market and empty their stalls of fresh produce.

If I had the means and accessibility I would juice for you.

Carrot juice.

Parsley, parsnips, and apple juiced.

Kale, spinach, and pineapple.

I would juice and juice and juice and purge the body of impurities.  Flush it with fresh water.

Powdered chlorophyll with some mint that refreshes the palate in water – drink plenty of it.

I was offered a job at a local health store that was run out of their garage – true story.  Years later they built a separate building on their property.  I would have made the same pay as I was getting from the job I was working; however, I would not have had benefits.  So, I did not take the job offer.

It is normal to look back on your life and wonder what would have happened had you chosen differently.

The health food store was much closer to my home.  I would not have driven so far, every day.

Perhaps, my brother would never have been in his car accident too?

Truth be told, I am not happy at the moment.

So, say you’ll go with me to the health food store and I will buy everything, so we will every one of us be well.

B-vitamins.  How I miss liquid B-vitamins.  Sublingual B-12.  Your body will never overdose on B vitamins, you will simply pee it out.

Vitamin C, your body will tell you you’ve reach your limit of intake when you have diarrhea until then your body needs vitamin C.

Kefir, acidophilus, your gut health is important to the rest of your organs.

Oil of oregano.  This stuff tastes terrible.  A few drops in water.  It does not taste good, yet it is like an internal scrubber.  Anti-viral.  Good for health in general.

Holy Basil.  For adrenal fatigue, and support.  Can you imagine what would happen if he military invested in nutrition and nutrients like Holy Basil in MRE’s?

It is all I can think of for now.

Perhaps it might not ever happen.

Still, it is a nice thought to have.

There is a frenzy.

This frenzy has become dangerous.

It is time to step away from the congratulatory campfire and return home to families and loved ones.

It is time to stop patting each other on the back, hooting and hollering.

It is time to set aside the big moment and live in the small, every day, mundane minutiae that is life.

Because life is full of routine that does not make front page news, however it is still valuable, or it wouldn’t exist.

Go back to your homes.  Go back to your loved ones.  Go back to friends.  Go back to living life.

Look your family in the eyes.  Individually look them in the eyes, talk to them, tell them what they mean to you, let them hold onto a memory that will live until their dying breath.

Kiss your children regardless of their age.  Kiss and hold them, so they will always remember the love of their parent.  Tell them to their face, look them in the eye and tell them what they mean to you, unashamed, unfiltered, pure, uncompromising, and with greater honesty than you thought you had or knew existed, tell them what they mean to you.  Never let go, yourself, of what it means to you to create a memory with your child that will live in yours and their well of truth that cannot be touched, perverted, changed, or sensationalized.

Hold your children as if your very breath depends upon it.  Hug your family members as if there may not be another chance to let them know or create the memory that becomes the core of their being.

Families are not always related by blood.  Some families are created do not leave these families out.  It is important to belong.

It is a part of what makes us human, belonging to one another.  To matter.

Please go back.

Please go back, hold on to the big moments in life, hold it within your well of truth, measure it, let it live there.

But, please go back to everyday life – and live it.

I will remind you I never had a choice in living the life in am in currently.

If I had a choice it would end immediately.

I miss and want my Tuesday and Thursday back.  This was a wrong.  They never should have been taken.  Because the circumstances of my life were available to persons who were not great thinkers.  It is a terrible, terribleness to use animals as a way of manipulation.

I have not had a choice.

People deserve the right to choose.

This duplicitousness nature and maliciousness being spread around I will not tolerate.

A duplicitousness being used within the American government that I simply will not allow.  Be wary of such inappropriate uses of misleading.

The American government, the American people deserve greater respect than I am seeing these days.  They deserve greater respect than I am reading as well.

Be careful with code.

I caution you to not take it so seriously.

You can take any sentence rearrange the words and letters and turn it into another sentence or wording.

However, if persons and parties do not agree on the meaning, then it is meaningless.

Without meaning, it is nothing more than Scrabble.

Before you see otherwise, let me tell you I was once told by someone that a woman changing her hair was a way to get over a man.  It felt like a pointed comment to me.  Within myself, I stepped back.  It was and is untrue.  I have often changed my hair and hair color.  Partly due to boredom, partly because I believe I am greater than my hair color or style and it does not define my character, abilities, worth, skill, or attractiveness.

I miss you.

For clarification: I am uncertain if this really is misunderstood or just a storyline being asked of me to write about because it is plainly obvious to me that both Elisa and Zelda are the same person.

Ask my garage.

Technically, they are the same person at different times in my life.

You Better Fucking Believe It, Man.

Still Here.

 

I was about to write a bunch of things yesterday, however there was a warning in the back of my mind again.

Here we go again.  The routine that makes me exactly what I am trying to avoid.

My guess is there was someone in the room who did not want to be evicted and vacated from the premises.

They need to leave.

It is MIB not WIB.  As in op, as in understanding not a color.

Be careful because they had no idea what they were doing before.  Jesus Christ, I needed help from my own employer.

This brain, my brain, head-room is not the same as any other working condition.  It is very specific.  Capiche?

So, how many more years must I prove that I once loved a man?!

At the exclusion of all other available men?

For how many more years?

He did not frighten me, this man I saw today, nor did he want to – it is an understanding that I do not need to discuss other than that.

Also, my house is not in order.  I cannot function without order and organization.  This is also understood that is used to put me down, keep me from functioning well, and bullying me into shame, humiliation, and tears.

FBEM, you better be about.

Post Traumatic Stress.

Too much, too soon.

Oh right (just an expression), I forgot.  I’m not allowed to have feelings and emotions.

Whoever it was near me while I was writing yesterday, I was resisting them because they were wrong.

I am overwhelmed.

Problem.  Problems.  Problems.

None of it makes sense to me.  You are wrong.

Overwhelmed.

Greatly unhappy.

Sick to death of celebrities treating me with cruelty.

I want to live on my own.

I want a life of my own.

I miss food writing.

I miss creative thinking.

 

I miss being allowed the freedom of choice.

Overwhelmed.