Lakeland,

I am so fucking pissed at you!!  Let me set something straight right now!!!  I SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO GO OUT OF MY WAY to avoid you, or NOT CHOOSE YOU!!!!  Do you have any idea how fucking ridiculous it is that I am CONSTANTLY made to go out of my way?!!

How can you NOT see what a waste of time, energy, resources, and talent it is to constantly set ME against you?!  What the fuck am I doing there if you do not want me there?!

I SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO GO OUT OF MY WAY FOR YOU , LAKELAND!  I SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO BE ASHAMED OF YOU!  I SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO BE SEEN AS LESS THAN THE MOST VALUABLE PERSON, COMMODITY, ASSET, FIGURE, AND PERSON YOU HAVE EVER KNOWN, OR HAVE HAD THE FUCKING PRIVILEDGE OF SPENDING TIME WITH AND KNOWING!!!!!!!!!

You keep me tired to KEEP me from KEEPING YOU HONEST!!!

I am not finished with you!

I will not back down!  

I could have done better!  I could do better!

My whole life I have said this in just about every thing including jobs, movies, acting, writing, performances, directing, and so on – I could have done it better!

And, I ain’t changed liked that!

DO NOT EVEN BEGIN TO TELL ME YOU ARE TOO DUMB, STUPID, AND MORONIC TO UNDERSTAND THE PLAY ON WORDS IN THE TITLE, FUCKER(S)!!

Can the sight of a man wearing a t-shirt be a moment you remember?  Because I remember going to Siesta Key Beach – which is my favorite Florida beach – with Rachel Memorial Day Weekend 2013.  I was late because I worked out in the morning before going to Rachel’s house.  There were more than one unusual sightings for me.  We parked at a church parking lot and walked across?!  Yep, I think that was a plan.  At the end of the day walking back to the car I saw a man wearing a Twentieth Century Fox t-shirt.  It stopped me, it created a snap-shot memory for me.

I cannot believe that I have to write this!

First, I want to say, I am still not writing which is not a good sign or in any way good at all.

STOP this copy cat stupid nonsense and bullshit!!!  I do not write for solitude!  I have never wanted to be alone in my entire life!!!!!!  I have never in my life EVER been alone before moving here.  I write because it is in my head.  I write because I can.

I should never for one moment EVER have to call into question, doubt, guess, find or read clues into purchases, vote for people, read into descriptions, fly or wear certain colors, or in any other way not yet mentioned doubt Lakeland!!!!!!!!!!!  Lakeland should in every single way do better than the best by and to me.  ALWAYS!!!!

David Wolfe you should be very worried right now.  James Franco should never have been in the picture – EVER!  Because if I am unwilling to yell at you at all, it is not good, and you should be very worried.

I want to live free and independently!!  I have not been able to do so since 2012!

Put an end immediately to working off my computer screen and imitating and copying what I watch and read.  I have a better plan.  A much smarter and more sophisticated plan that is better than anything you could copy or think of.  I have been painting, drawing, writing, and creating since before I ever met any of you including David Wolfe.

I will say this: The moment “Bill” at TCS touched me I was immediately repulsed.  I believed he was gay.  Trying to persuade me that sitting around drinking and having dinner could be considered art, or an artist.

SOYLENT GREEN MUST END!!!  Do you not even understand the political and social economical statement that movie was trying to debate and raise?!  Women are not furniture!  People are not slaves to be worked into an early death!  It is about distribution of wealth and equality.  Jesus Christ it is abstract!  I don’t have time to go on!  For fuck sake I cannot believe how fucking stupid this is!

New York and Lakeland you fucking mishandled and mismanaged me!

At the moment the only thing I see in other people is how much more money they have and make more money than me!  When I watch movies what I see in the actors and crew is how they are able to do something they want and enjoy, and I DO NOT!!!!!!!  I see how much more help and well off every one else is!

I am fucking sick of it!

 

I was unable to write Coffee and Breakfast yesterday.

Coffee and Breakfast, as well as, every other titles, series, and other postings have been postponed until further notice.

I have been under the weather which is plain to see it was not by accident it was purposefully planned.  It should never have been allowed to happen.

Until I feel better which includes rest, I will not be writing.  I will be resting my bones for my soul has withered away.

The glow that could not hide that came from within me, emanating out of me – like the New Years photograph – is gone.

Listen to me now, I want to move on from you David.  I have said it time and time again, over and over uttering it under my breath, as well as, thinking it loudly in my head.  However, I will not give up, surrender, deny, ignore, or pretend that those moments were not real.  They are the last real and true memories of moments I have.  As you are the last connection I have to the real world where people actually speak to one another, where they erupt with such laughter they fall off a stool onto the floor.  Where the sight of you full of laughter, taken aback by the surprise of my quick, imaginative, vivid picture, unassuming, and detailed wit allowed me to see you.  It was beautiful.  All I wanted to do was get close to you, to be alone with you which never happened because you were always surrounded by people.

Does anyone want to know why David fell in laughter?  A question went around the table of college schoolmates and friends, Is there such a thing as too big?  A question of size.  A man’s penis.  Debate and answer went around the table when I finally spoke up after reliving an encounter with one of God’s most glorious creations of a cock, yes.  There is such a thing as too big because my jaw does not come unhinged.

Boom.

Drop the mic.

David fell.

If you missed it, a snake can un-hinge its jaw.  Travel show at TCS, Alfredo/David with a snake contact lens laughing, but I had already stopped laughing by then.

I only write this because I believe I have been betrayed which is why I do not feel well now.

I have to go.

Do not have time for coffee or breakfast today, nor do I feel like eating until my body has returned to its former pre-New York self.

Shit storm David.  It will be the only thing I will be writing.

Can I just say I do love babies just not that one.  Babies and children it’s what I wanted to have, and give the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with.  Whoever and wherever he might be.  Until, you took it away from me for no reason.  I do not enjoy surprises, I do not react well to them.

But, I will not kill myself writing it does not work that way for me.

So, no food talk.

How can I possibly share coffee and breakfast with this swollen body and belly?  I certainly do not feel like going out to eat.  I don’t feel like eating at all.  I don’t have an appetite.  So, my breakfast is another tall glass of cold water only.  My belly cannot deal with anything else except perhaps a small glass of fresh squeezed orange juice that would be nice.

New York, we have officially broken up.  I will not allow myself to be treated in this way.  You have no right to treat me as a science experiment, guinea pig, dog, cat, animal, or anything other than a most intelligent woman.  You make me ashamed of the female sex.

I am so ashamed, upset, and hurt that you have allowed the wonderful and amazing things I see in people, perverted it, turned it into a contest and game, thus turning intelligent and lovely people into bad characters that I have to vote against.  It is a crime against human kind and humanity that I will NOT stop complaining, arguing, defending, and YELLING about!!!!!!

I will not stop saying this – Fire the baby boss!  Fire Green!  Fire Swagtron!  They are all a violation of OSHA!  It is unacceptable behavior and policy.

David Wolfe – Buckle up, Buttercup.  Your shit-storm is about to start.

You will have to wait as I do not feel well, so I am going back to bed.  Pulling the covers over my head, and passing out.

I would never hurt or treat women the way they have hurt, treated me, mismanaged me, handled me, harmed me, devastated me, destroyed me, used me, planned and plotted against me, stolen my voice, taken away my chance at happiness, used me for profit, public gain, notoriety, denied me my rights under the constitution, denied me free access to the internet, denied me rights as a human being, denied me rights as a woman, denied me rights as a thinking individual, denied me the ability to seek out and pursue a life I want, denied me my right to happiness, and denied me my right and ability to say, write, and share the truth of my story.

In a million years I would never give a woman or man food that I knew and/or had added calories to cause and force weight gain, indigestion, the shits, bloating, or any other digestive problem.

I know what it’s like to be overweight.  I know what it feels like to be looked at by other’s as an overweight woman.  So, I would and am steadfast in my support and my encouragement of humanity.  For, there is nothing artful about forced weight gain.  Forcing weight gain and losing weight is not an art because any person can lose or gain weight.  Not every person can be an artist, singer, writer, actor, or performer – not even if they have the ability.  There is a huge difference between the two.  And, that distinction must be made.

The way you treat others is a great measure of self-worth and character.  It is easy to hurt, harm, and manipulate.  It is a great deal harder and more difficult to defy other and declare yourself a great woman.

I am first and foremost embarrassed for the women who’ve been involved in this show that has forced me to gain ten pounds in a matter of days.  It speaks so little to their character, to their humanity, to their growth as a human being living on this planet, to their very fundamental nature, and ability to choose between right and wrong.  I would never have thought my fellow women would be so low and cowardly.  I would have only seen women as I see myself, one who would help, protect, and work for the betterment of all mankind.  This is a proven fact.

I have proven this fact over and over and over for years.  It is an established, documented, and proven fact as I have been spied on through my employment, friends, relationships, through the radio, television, and my internet being hacked into.  I do not know of any other person in the world who has had to prove their sexuality, character, worth as a human being, or as an employee for as many years as I have.  I do not believe there is another human being on this planet who has been more thoroughly vetted as I have been for years, and continue to be.

There was never anything wrong with me to deserve being drugged, locked up in some isolation chamber while a shrink worked on me while I slept.

I am ashamed to have learned this lesson about my friends.  I am ashamed they were talked into participating in any way.  I am ashamed and embarrassed for every person that has been involved in all of this since it started.

It is a show and a policy that must end immediately.  Everyone involved with deception and trickery – this time come has come to an end.

For art cannot be measured by the pound, nor dollar amount.  Some works are priceless.

The original text had been altered when I brought this file up on my computer.  Almost every file, declassified or otherwise, has been altered if not all of them.  I have tried to go back and correct the text to reflect the real and truthful version I first sent out.  I first sent this out to the only source I knew could get it through to James Franco.  Then, I tried, unsuccessfully, to get this to David Wolfe who is the last and closest person I can call a friend.  However, that is quite a loose translation of the word.  I do not know the meaning of the word friend that would do, say, or knowingly allow the things that have happened to me.

David Wolfe:

FYI

July 13, 2017

You motherless fuck James Franco,

Bitch, you ain’t my black!

Who the fuck do you think you are?!  You think because you’re some stupid celebrity you have the right to tell me what I want, what I like in my cunt?!  You think because your face is in front of a camera you have the right to deceive, manipulate, and trick me?!  You think it’s funny to laugh at someone who’s been raped?!!  Because that is the only way I will ever see the events that took place in this townhouse.

You are not welcome in my bed in any fucking way!

Bitch, you are not welcome in my fucking head!

I have been fucking SCREAMING at the top of my lungs since I found out you fucking deceived me, screaming that I only go and do ONE fucking way!!!!  For over three years now! April 2014, you stupid fucking bitch!

You thought it would be funny to humiliate me like that while I was at work?!  At every work place you humiliate me like that.

You honestly, think I have been so stupid and dumb to believe this stupid marriage bull-shit?!  There is not any man I have ever met that I am interested in marrying.  To make me think there was ever any stupid notion of “marriage” other than a way to perpetuate this stupid story is reprehensible.  I am not that simple.  When really it was just a matter of my brother’s fake marriage and sitting at the wrong side of the fake marriage.

I would never have voted for you, or purchased anything connected to you if I hadn’t been coerced and forced into as a means of keeping myself employed.

Please, do not do me the disservice of feigning any notion of love.  There is no love between us.  I don’t know you, bitch.  I don’t want to know you.  If I was allowed to be employed elsewhere I would be so gone.

You fucking douche bag, you thought I was gay?!  Is it my fault no men find me attractive?!  Is it my fault you have me locked up away in isolation I am not able to meet any men?  Is it my fault the men I find attractive and sexually appealing are not interested in me?!  Is it my fault men do not ask me out?!  It’s not my fault the only men eHarmony set me up with were either too short, overweight, unattractive, uninteresting, boring, and not sexually viable!

Either side of the glass, it was never you!

Either side if the glass it was never that person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To set me up with some skin suit, dildo wearing, dumpy fuck is beyond explanation, or any apology you could give.

I don’t want to hear your explanation.  I heard you owe me an explanation, let me free you of that burden.

I don’t want to hear from you again!

I never believed in you.  I never believed you ever had any feelings for me other than a co-worker.  You used this notion of marriage as a way to perpetuate a lie.

Bitch, I ain’t your bitch!  Got it!

Now stay the hell away from me!

Please let me go!

Please allow me to move on with my life.

Have you ever had a friend so jealous of your weight loss, and ability to maintain your weight loss for years they make a special trip, go out of their way, to make themselves feel better by harming and hurting you as if your emotions and feelings were whims for their use and entertainment?

I have not one single person I can call friend anymore thanks to The Container Store.  Truth.

Every single woman and female friend I have ever known has recently used me, tricked me, hurt me, physically abused me, mentally abused and scarred me, kept me from being able to have and find real love, and share the rest of my life with him.

It’s a shame you don’t know the meaning of the word – friend.  It’s a shame you don’t know how to stand up for a friend.  Instead you’ve played a part for your own purpose.

How fucking dare you Rachel Robar!