WE – DO NOT AGREE!

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December 22, 2018

Upon waking: 124.2

 

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December 21, 2018

 

The mother and daughter on the plane were the double agents.  From JFK to Munich it was the mother and daughter.  The daughter was the worst.  The daughter was taller, she wore a camel-colored coat with a Dukakis pin, they both wore slacks.  The daughter wore a handbag in the price range of an Anne Klein handbag.  They both were dressed down in price from their usual attire.  They were being presented to me as something to aspire to.

I am looking at the daughter wondering why is she looking at me?  Who the fuck are you?!

Something to aspire to.  No.

Both EF and Academic Adventures in America should be investigated.

Both the color of Sandy Hill’s hair being red and the color of the rental car being red is saying something different to someone else other than me.  They are both a danger.  I believe my mother had been warned about a red car.

The reason for my God moment.  The reason why I believe I had a God moment, I believe my mother and I were being followed.  The reason I said in my head when looking at the bunk houses at Dachau, it’s not so bad.  Was someone else was near-by.  A Jew-hating lesbian.  It’s not so bad, God heard it, and told me so.  He told me what a terrible thing it was to hear.

Jews.  The Jewish people are God’s chosen people.  It is as if to say though you have killed my son, I cannot stop loving you.  God cannot stop loving.  Love.

This notion is being presented to me of a gay man in a relationship with another gay man that has been around me for years.  It is being presented in connection with Bing.  If this is correct, how he does not want any man having sex with me.  What has been shown to me, suggests that he is sexually attracted to me or is a sexual pervert.  I believe it is the former.  If this is true, I suggest he seek the help of a therapist.

I expect the man to be the initiator.  I expect the man to open the door for me.  I expect the man to ask for my number.  I expect the man to ask me out.  I expect the man to pay for every meal.  I expect the man to initiate interest.  I have been denied this my whole life with the exception of one man.  That man from this house doesn’t count in my opinion.

This is the constant story being played out with David.  David has been with so many women.  David could be with this woman other than you, Cherith.  David could be with this woman, who is not you, Cherith.  David could be with this woman, Cherith.  Or this woman, or this woman.  Then, in my opinion David is not worthy of me.  David has never asked for my phone number.  David has never asked me out.  David has never initiated conversation.  David has never really talked to me.  Ever.  David is not worthy of me.

If the only value David has is how more valuable, he is to other women than he is not worthy of me.  This is how it is presented to me over and over.  If the only value a man has is how much sex he can get from other women than he is not worthy of me.

We should never have moved from California.  My parents would have divorced.  My mother would have married up.  My father would have remarried.  We would have stayed in that house.  My father would have moved.  Both my parents would have been happier.

Mad as hell.  Beyond rage.  Upset.

128.8 lbs.

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December 21, 2018

 

I am only a number to someone that is all I am.  I cannot believe I have to tell you the double agents in Germany were the mother and daughter on the plane.

YOU ARE IN VERY BIG TROUBLE WITH ME!  IF NOT WITH SEVERAL GOVERNMENTS!  This man was gone so fast.

California used to be the place I thought I would return, the home I thought I would return to.  I spoke this out loud on my drive home and in my head.  No one spoke it to me, I said it.  No one else.

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December 21, 2018

CHELSEA AND CHRIS ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A LYING SCHEMING WHORE!  WHILE I WAS AT WORK AT AMAZON SHE AND HE SNUCK INTO MY HOME, THAT IS AGAINST THE LAW, WITHOUT PERMISSION, CUTTING MY NORWAY ARTWORK IN AN ATTEMPT TO GET ME TO PURCHASE A PHOTO MAT SO THEY CAN CONTINUE THE PRACTICE OF FORCED AIR UP MY CROTCH MAKING ME ENDURE A WORK ENVIRONMENT OF WET UNDERWEAR, SO THEY CAN GET OFF SEXUALLY!

MY NORWAY IS SUCH A THREAT?!

FIRE CHELSEA!  FIRE CHRIS!

128.6 LBS!

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December 21, 2018

3:10 to you ma, mom.  They poisoned my mother giving her a sort of stroke because I took a personal break at Disney that was not on my schedule.

It’s the game they played using me.  Guess what movie this is from, I am never wrong.  This is also me.  I have never been wrong.

Celebrities, Hollywood that brings death to me and my family.  Look to my windows.

Leon, Spain these are the sisters from Spain and Gorka.

126.4 lbs.

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December 20, 2018

Before shower after returning from work: 122.4

Upon waking: 124.2

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December 19, 2018

 

They were two lesbian women who were in charge at Promus/Hilton when I worked there.  Whoever was there followed me to Disney.  I cannot comprehend why they would have set out to harm, hurt, then kill my mother. Man.  Men.  These two words are very destructive to a woman who would not mind if men were removed from the planet entirely.  It is obvious to me those gypsy posers piggy-backed onto our electricity making me pay for their electric bill while they did not have to pay.  Masturbation has never been a lifestyle choice for me, I have been waiting for men to come along and been denied access to men for decades.  My mother.  They sought out to kill my mother, men are a very big trigger for this person when they are around me especially if I like them, look happy around them, flirt with them, and glow around them.

Today’s numbers.

Return from work: 124.0.

Before shower: 124.4, 124.8.

Upon waking: 125.8.

AUTHORIZED ACCESS ONLY!

 

December 18, 2018

 

Here are today’s numbers.  From now on this will be the only thing I will be writing since the Chelsea and Chris combination means I am only a number to them it will be all I write about.  Since I am not writing about anything there is no need to read anything.

Lying sack of shit is what I said about David yesterday.  It could be because they wanted me to believe he and Courtney (Chelsea) were broken up when they are very much together.  If the picture of Courtney has not been edited, she is very pregnant.  I am so beyond these two and their lies to me.

The Russian photo I saw says, middle-aged frump with the sex appeal of Janet Reno.  It couldn’t possibly be any more grossly wrong about me.

I used to weigh 109 before Courtney was allowed access to my food and me, probably David and others too.  I am only 5’ 2”, you have incorrectly placed me on the high end of the BMI for my height.

No, I am not going around and cleaning up after any of you.  If you are incapable of doing it correctly the first time, there is no point in me going around and correctly placing the Authorized Access signs in the building.

No, you are mistaken.  The notion of a person whispering into a baby’s ear is me talking in my head and that psycho woman wanting to be a baby before she was molested and me taking care of her.  She is sick beyond measure.

I am so beyond mad.  None of you have the good sense to comprehend the timing of events.  You will find out how very wrong you were by not ending it sooner in hind-sight, again.

No, you are wrong.  The notion that of the White House being represented by trash bins in my garage shows how very incapable you are of comprehending what is truly going on in the world.

I used to write, creatively.  It was brain-cut away from be by lesbians.  How very gross of you.  How gross of you to degrade the progress made in society regarding gays and lesbians.  I am ashamed of you.  I am ashamed of you all.

No, you are wrong.  I am not impressed with any of your editing.  Norway is not heavy.  My Norway is not black.  I know my own family.

Tim and David I think its best if you are not at work again.

I deleted every one of my news apps.  I will not be reading your news until I am satisfied with my body.  It is my body not yours.  I will only be writing about what I care about, my weight.

12/17/2018 Left for work with clothes on: 130 pounds.

12/18/2018 Returned from work with clothes on: 125.6 – 126.2.  Could not get an accurate number on the scale.

12/18/2018 Before I showered, clothed: 124.6 – 127.8.  Again, not accurate.

12/18/2018 After shower no clothes: 125.6.

12/18/2018 Upon waking: 126.0.

12/18/2018 Before shower: 127.6, 128.8.

12/18/2018 After shower: 129.2.

I did not get Norway gas on purpose.

Beyond mad at all of you.

AUTHORIZED ACESS ONLY!

 

December 17, 2018

 

Very bad!  Very, very bad!  So bad!  I cannot begin to describe how bad this profile is.  Massive.  Too many people for me to take apart.  Light-headed!  Made me physically light-headed!  Wow!  Bad!

Raneem Oudeh profile – very, very bad!  Too established, bad!  Too successful, bad!  Just so very bad.