July 12, 2017
To Jeremy Renner:
Flip-flops,
Let me start by saying if you do not hear from me in a day that is not a good sign. If I don’t even write here and yell at you, it should be a red flag for you.
Do you know that in a 10 or 11 hour shift it is so stressful on my body there that I cannot even manage to drink a whole bottle of water? Eating is out of the question.
I have been told over and over and over again what I can wear, what clothes to buy, what food to eat. I am not allowed to even have an opinion. I am not asking for a great deal. I am asking for the ability to make my own choices.
What if one day I feel like taking a shower. Another day I feel like a bath. What if I actually like one smell over another smell?
I heard in my someone claiming to be James Franco saying that he would “kick his ass” for doing what he did to me. This is so absurd. You obviously know nothing about my life. That will be the day when a man kicks another man’s ass for me.
As far as the state of my thinking – this is not new that I have been wanting, claiming, saying, and screaming-at-the-top of my lungs that I would rather die than to continue living in this way. As it is documented in my phone, I have also documented these same thoughts on every computer I’ve used and phones, I have made those supposedly in charge aware of what was going on with my state of mind.
July 19 2016, I typed in my phone: In shocking news today stocks plummet as news of its star killing herself during production. The mind control proved to be too much for the star as it seems the only way to regain control of her life. What’s more was well aware not only because of the mind link, but she had repeatedly documented the abuse and torture. Not only did do nothing, but also , and did nothing to stop the abuse. What’s more even the stars businesses were aware of her torment and suffering, but their own greed to continue production prevailed. Upon begging for her very life continued to ignore the warning signs and communication. What did the star want? More salary, better living conditions – all she asked was to have her life back. Yet, did nothing.
At the beginning of TCS, early days before the store opened we were all standing in a circle listening to someone speak. “Terry” as her name was, stood beside me and put her arm around me. However, she put her arm around me in a more possessive manner than a man would even put his arm around me. I immediately shrank. I remember trying to literally slide out of my skin. I froze. I stopped breathing even. I told “Erin” about it because I was so fucking creeped out. I told everyone there who tried to tell me that Terry was an okay person, and I disagreed. Everyone tried to make me feel as if nothing happened and it was no big deal. However, everyone refused to see it from my viewpoint and how it made me feel to have a woman put her arm around me. It was sexual harassment. I wasn’t even allowed to be upset or fully complain about it. I avoided her as much as possible.
I shouldn’t year and year have to keep saying and doing things to keep it straight! It’s humiliating.
Do you know how humiliating it is to be virtually dated?! It is humiliating to constantly have to choose Dave knowing he thinks I’m crazy, etc. as the only means to keep things straight?! It is humiliating to have been virtually dated and virtually fucked! It is humiliating to walk into Panera see David Wolfe sitting there knowing he does not want to speak with me, worse still it is humiliating to have walked in with that Edison guy!! So, I went out of my way to pretend I didn’t see him, laugh and have fun so that he or whomever would STOP following me! It is humiliating to be treated as a pet, as a baby, as anything other than an intelligent woman. It is humiliating to have been virtually pimped and passed around like a plastic vagina for years now.
I would never, ever have chosen a black hole?! Had I not been forced and manipulated into it.
I don’t ever want to see or know James Franco ever again. Two worlds that should never have met or known each other.
I am so humiliated by David Wolfe which is why I choose not to look his way anymore. I saw him (pants) at Starbucks but I didn’t look him in the face or go up to him. It is his turn to come to me. It doesn’t have to happen as far as I’m concerned, the humiliation is too great.
I want to tell you should be more of a conversation. I want to tell you that the down the line should be part of the conversation. I want to tell you to think bigger, but have a smaller focus. I want to share stories, the great and beautiful things I see in people, but after the hand incident which has hurt and humiliated me so severely I choose not to. It was a huge mistake on your part for which nothing and no one has made up for it.
I am not at war with any one or any party. I simply choose me instead.
Samuel at – James Marsden? I dunno. Same butt swing.
I want to tell you the reason I like Paul Watson because he understands what it is like to look in an animals eyes and see them. You have no idea how upsetting it is to look in your cat’s eyes and see he is not peeing of his own free will. It is upsetting to have to live that way for years.
I have not proofread this so it is probably a mess. Please cut me some slack.
I find you lacking greatly. I am so hurt and upset I don’t even want to yell at you.
Cherith J Gjestland
WE - DO NOT AGREE! 