In going through these previously private conversations I see there are omissions, additions, and rearranging of words. I have only corrected or deleted to keep my intentions clear and specific. Confusion and chaos have been taken off the menu. I say this again, you cannot make or create a trait counter to the way a person is born. A lie will always be a lie no matter how you dress it, color it, or claim otherwise.
July 10, 2017
To Jeremy Renner:
Flip-flops,
First off I have to explain something; everyone appears to me as if they believe nothing extraordinary happens when they enter my brain. Everyone acts as if they are simply listening in on my thoughts, however my experience of it does NOT feel that way. The best way I can explain it is if you can imagine someone taking their foot and stepping on your brain, then shoving it down all the way past your head, past your neck, sometimes past your chest, and sometimes it’s shoved all the way past your feet. Then, if you can imagine that foot wearing cleats and shoving your brain down. Then, if you can imagine having your brain squeezed from all sides while it is being squeezed down – how that could make a person feel. Of course, for some people that is not enough, then they violate the most sacred part of a woman’s body and violate my body, violate my trust, and violate my spirit. Of course, that is also not enough for some people because on top of it all I am not allowed to say anything, to utter upset, hurt, or disappointment. I am not allowed to be angry. I am not allowed to cry. I am not allowed an opinion. I am not allowed a way to make improvements. I am not allowed a way to change or correct things. I am not allowed any human – anything!!!! No one can imagine what it feels like to be me even if they are listening with the cap. Got it!
So, I was told in my head I had a melt-down at work yesterday. Let me say this, I do not believe you should be with me at all. I believe I behaved miraculously. Because even through all of that mind torture I still stuck up for myself, for women as a people, and for a positive work environment.
Nowhere, in no place of business does your work follow you from home or from your drive. In every business, you leave everything at the door. Work needs to be work. Drive needs to be drive, and home needs to be my home alone.
Ladders – are on the right side of my garage b/c no one is allowed in my house.
Communication – this needs to be greatly improved upon. I do not need any method or pushing or anything else to drive, or I don’t know what you people are doing. All you have to do is ask. But, I do have the right to say no if I choose. More on this tomorrow.
is the one who told me my cats where dead. Keanu Reeves, the tire I believe is being used differently from my personal experience. He is the most zen motherfucker I’ve ever spoken with. I must choose left b/c I have to keep you fuckers straight!
Oh Yeah, Hi Marvin/Jeremy Renner. Break room at TCS. Foot on a chair looking at the tv monitor acting impressed because I remembered somebody’s name. Or, am I wrong?
Learning by driving is a problem. The lag time between understanding the route and how it relates to my work and home life is disastrous! Anyway, they need to be separate.
I don’t have time – thank you fucking lightning – to get into talking about direction (directing) and movement at work other than to say this. Moving me around is killing my fucking , got it. Some things are too real.
I’ll work on the shaper, black-out curtains some time.
PS After yesterday, why the fuck would I ever want to thank anyone?! Why wouldn’t I want to say over and over I want my life back. End of discussion. Because of yesterday I do not wish to talk or see David Wolfe, James Franco, or Adrian Grenier again. I can’t tell you how hurtful it is to say that about David Wolfe.
Got to go.
Cherith J Gjestland
WE - DO NOT AGREE! 