August 19, 2017
David Wolfe:
David,
Do you know I have no time to write because all I can do is scream my fucking head off at you! You had no right to do what you did! I am so appalled by you!
It needs to be said that I never wanted a new phone back in 2014. My new phone with the 949 area code, I was talked into. My internet or my computer, I don’t know which kept giving me that option, I had to keep changing it back to 813. Because I had no idea what was going on anymore, I thought I was supposed to use that number even though it did not make sense to me why I would have a phone number in a place where I didn’t live. Also, I was shamed and judged for not waiting and being waited on in the store. I went to the Verizon store to try and purchase a phone – something I would never have done before – nothing in the store made sense to me because I would never have done that. I didn’t understand how people were being waited on, the people in the store didn’t make sense to me, the grease trap in the parking lot didn’t make sense to me, I didn’t understand what the fuck was going on at least that has never changed I still don’t understand what and why you fucking people are doing this to me, so I left and ordered the phone from my computer exactly as I would have before. They were playing football in the street outside my house. I was constantly being told to look out the window – that is the only reason I ordered that phone. I tried to return it. I tried to return the football phone, but I don’t know how they did it, they deactivated my old phone.
Do you not understand that I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO TALK TO YOU EVEN TO TELL YOU ALL THE FUCKING WRONG THAT YOU HAVE DONE ME?!
All I wanted was to be able to start my life with a man who loved me and I loved in return. All I wanted was to give love and receive love in return.
I understand you called me crazy because you didn’t want to be my friend or talk to me anymore. How does that give you the right to deny me sharing my life with a man I could love?!
YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!
A whole year of dates and dating men that were sketchy, oddly matched, in disguise, and you wonder why I felt FORCED to have sex with Edison?! Do you know one date I felt panicky the whole time, either because of the mind control Bluetooth or my own instinct, but all I felt was he was not being truthful. The first words out of my mouth were not hello, but how old are you really?! He didn’t look underage, but nothing matched up. Do you know after the dinner with Mark, who I was not attracted to but I needed to date it was and is important to me to be seen as sexually desirable to men, even though it was a lovely dinner, I got to wear a dress, make-up, have my hair done, he gave me a rose which was nice, I couldn’t help but notice the man sitting at the bar who was paying more attention to me and I could tell he was listening? Finally, on the drive home, I broke. I couldn’t keep up the façade that I was unaware of being seen, that something about the date was not right, and I couldn’t figure out why this was happening to me, and I cried the whole way home. Because it wasn’t real. I felt nothing for Mark. I felt bad because it made me feel like I used him for a good meal. I just wanted to date. Because I believe I am good enough and deserve to have a man of my own to share my life with.
I am not sure I said this correctly before, the performance I gave with Edison I felt I had to prove that I wasn’t so obsessed with you that I couldn’t find a man of my own. I am sorry that I ever messaged you again after you basically told me to go to hell on facebook. Now, it seems I have no choice but to address these things to you since I have no idea who else I can fucking SCREAM AND YELL at for misjudging me, and for my overall treatment in this life that is not real, nor one I want.
But, then again going back to Edison, I guess how could it not feel a bit like a performance since you were also in the room?! Sometimes, it felt like I could almost see you because I could definitely hear you.
Having sex with Edison took me too long to figure out something was wrong. It was just sex and nothing more. I know the difference. I did not need any training wheels, or education in how to date. I believe there was a lot of mind control going on during the sex, as well as, other times. Because I felt blinded. I am unable to recall things and details I would normally have noticed and understood. The sex was never satisfying. Did you think you could continue with the “fake” dating after Edison?! Once, I realized Edison was wearing a skin-suit, either through mind control, the Bluetooth, or my own instinct my whole entire being was filled with such shame and mortification I have never recovered. Nor, do I have any hope of ever recovering from that occurrence.
The humiliation has killed off a great part of me. It has caused me to NEVER AGAIN look at you the same way – EVER!!!!!!!!!!
I still don’t have any idea why it happened other than to think you and James Franco believed I was some kind of pervert.
It never should have happened in that way, you disguising men to fake date me. You had and have no idea the effect it would and did have on my psyche.
Did you honestly think I could go on after that?! Did you honestly think I could continue the same as I had before?!
If it were up to me, James Franco, Knight Electric, West Tampa glass, all of it would move out. If it were up to me, the garage code would be taken off my neighbor’s garage and the hole in the asphalt would be filled in.
All I wanted after caring for my mother – and my family as well let’s not forget that point also – was to start my life with a man who I could love and give my love to and would love me too. I never wanted to be a star, famous, or act, or anything anymore. I had given that up years ago. Because I was never any good at any of it anyway. At my very best, I have been nothing but average. And, that’s the truth. The point has certainly been made well aware to me.
I don’t know why I am actually spending all this time writing. It is one thing to write as a means of journaling, and another to write actual stories. It takes so much more time to write, flesh out details, and form a well thought out story. Do you know that I used to write while I went running? It helped me to clear my mind. Do you know I can no longer run because the of the air violators? Because I am not allowed to leave this townhouse, or my job site?
Do you actually think I care for James Franco whom I do not know, who has done nothing but humiliate me, who is only using me?! Just like you are doing, David.
Do you know, how long it takes to write, clean this townhome – which for some reason takes three days to clean up after four days of working and I still do not have a set routine considering I have been working there for a year and a half. You know what, I am sick to death of yelling at you for something you should have known better.
I miss my house. I miss the outside spaces. I miss the flowers and the trees, and everything I created there. I miss my pool. I miss my ponds. I miss that sunroom and the view it gave.
I believe you took all my female organs from me because you thought I was a bad person, a pervert, and you want me followed and watched for the rest of my life. All I want any more is to kill myself. Because this is not a life worth living. Because I will not date again after the violation of Edison. You have sentenced me to a life of celibacy and solitude. You have sentenced me to a life not worth living, for I am barely alive.
Do you not understand that I re-use partially used paper towels because I cannot afford it?!
Do you understand that I just don’t think like you perverted people?! I don’t even know where it came from as far as who started all the sick, gross connections and associations. But, it is destructive to be so juvenile. I left childish-ness a long time ago.
Do you know that I read an article – who knows if this is really true since I believe my computer back from 2009 was probably monitored, honestly what did you expect to find – about how UCLA was giving their patients Arnica after surgery which proved to give their patients better and faster healing time from surgery. Do you know how much less expensive Arnica is than drugs?!
David, did you know that when I went to the Busch Gardens audition I didn’t understand what was going on when I arrived? I felt I had been duped and tricked into being unprepared for the audition. I left only because I had been tricked so many times previously, I thought and believed people were trying to help me when I believe they were keeping me from EVERYTHING! The drive, what went on in my head, all of it I didn’t – still don’t – understand, so I left. I still don’t know what to make of that event.
Do you know the only reason I did not get off the bus in Las Vegas at the Grand Canyon at the first stop where there was a man in a lime-ish colored blazer was I wanted to see the other stop on the tour? But, it wasn’t worth the time or humiliation of disembarking at the second stop.
Do you know I want to live – at least – for a time in Ireland? And many other countries.
I just realized I am actually journaling at the moment. From now on I am going to be more careful with what I write. Because we are not friends. I do not wish to talk or write any more to you than I am truly being forced to do.
Cherith J Gjestland
WE - DO NOT AGREE! 