September 22, 2019 READ: Since You Failed To Notice

September 22, 2019

Since you’ve all failed to notice how unappreciative I am that you delivered DEATH to my door by excess weight and fat upon my body, I am not writing anything until I am the body size I want to be!

Fatty, fatty, two by four – CAN’T GET THROUGH THE KITCHEN DOOR!

Fat, fatty in NOT nourished!

I was HEALTHIER BEFORE YOU FUCKS TURNED MY BODY INTO A LAB EXPERIMENT!

No, I really NOW, do not wish or want to meet the California man who is seen in the movie, Meet Joe Black.

At this moment, I am not sure either David or the real Hannibal Lecter can ever make it up to me.

GET THESE GODDAMN STARS OFF MY FUCKING PROPERTY AND THESE GODDAMN BORIS JOHNSON MOSQUITOS!

FUCKING FAT AS HELL AND HUGE AS HELL!  I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF YOU!

FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT WITHOUT ME!   YOU’RE ALL SO FUCKING SMART!  RIGHT?! 

IF IT’S NOT ONE WOMAN I AM ATTACKED BY IT IS ANOTHER WOMAN!

GO AWAY DAVID!  GO AWAY THE REAL HANNIBAL LECTER!  GO AWAY ALL OF YOU!  I WILL NOT THANK YOU FOR HURTING ME AND MY FEELINGS!

NO LONGER WORKING: DAY 1

September 21, 2019: READ: I Don’t Love You California

September 21, 2019

Be aware, be advised: I don’t love you California, not anymore.  You’ve made a fatal mistake.  I don’t love California anymore.  A very, real, and serious mistake has been made.  I don’t love California, like I used to.

All the years of my boyfriend laughing at me because I was so fat and overweight, this truth, is unbearable, and truly hurtful.

The fact that people keep pushing this weight gain as a means and way to try and get me killed, are beyond reproach.  It means “honest”, “law-abiding citizens” have found themselves, wanting me dead, and using criminals, and pushing their buttons as a way, for me, to die, and to be dead.

The love I once had for you David, is gone.  How dare you chose, Brianna and Courtney over me.  You are disgusting.

My former boyfriend, the real Hannibal Lecter, I, just, cannot, anymore.  I cannot be seen by a man who is supposedly supposed to love me, be seen, as such a joke, that causing me something like PID, means nothing to him.  I have been nothing more than a means of survival within prison to him.  I am so ashamed of him.

All the years, of joy and happiness, and laughter I’ve brought people, I wish, at this moment, I had never done.

There is not a single man I know who is worthy of me.

I am hurt more than words can say.

September 21, 2019: READ: WARNING: Confess And Admit Your Mistakes

September 21, 2019

Let’s get something straight, real fucking quick, STOP trying to replay history to justify your work, justify the means to the end, and justify your actions – ADMIT YOUR MISTAKES, CONFESS, IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT WILL SAVE ANY OF YOU, INTELLIGENCE INCLUDED, ANYMORE.

Who is the dumb, fucking moron that believed because I was friends, and friendly, meaning not HOSTILE, toward a co-worker at The Container Store, who “claimed” she was gay and in a lesbian relationship, that I, IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER, APPROVED OF HER TO WORK WITH ME IN AN INTELLIGENT WAY?!  WHO IS THIS DUMB FUCK?!  I SUGGEST YOU ADMIT YOUR MISTAKE, AND MISTAKES, IT WILL SAVE YOUR FUCKING LIFE!  SO, DO IT – REAL FUCKING QUICK!

WHATEVER EMBARRASMENT ANY OF YOU IN INTELLIGENCE MIGHT HAVE TO ENDURE BECAUSE OF ANY MISTAKES IN HANDLING ME WILL BE WORTH YOU BEING ABLE TO LIVE – THE REST OF YOUR NATURAL LIVES!  SO, FUCKING LISTEN AND READ MY WORDS, AND HEED THIS WARNING!  BECAUSE I AM, YET AGAIN, SAVING YOUR FUCKING LIVES!

Someone needs to be held accountable for this meet.  Correct, I did say, on my last working day, that I would not agree to this meet.  This meet was what?  A gay, lesbian woman, being used as a proxy for this man who handled and read me at the California restaurant.  Of course, I would NOT agree to this meet, had I known in advance, that there was another person involved, a straight white male, involved, I wouldn’t have gone.

What has happened to this man because of this meet?  Does anyone fucking realize you placed a goddamn death threat on his real life, just because you allowed a GAY, LESBIAN woman to be seen publicly with me.  THEN, YOU FUCKING MORONS ALLOWED HER TO BE SEEN AT THE CONTAINER STORE WITH ME AFTER EDISON!  WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!  YOU STUPID, STUPID, STUPID FUCKING GODDMAN MORONS!

Most likely, they had his name written on a piece of paper and placed that in this man’s wallet, this man at the bar that I stared at, while Casey was trying to talk to me, and his pants, read California, and I was trying to figure out why this man at the bar was NOT walking over to me and TALKING TO ME.  I was looking at his pants, and his face, and his pants, and why was he not walking over to me and talking to me because he read that he wanted to.

Yes, most likely, after you allowed “Casey” to be seen at The Container Store, talking through co-workers to me, someone, not me, placed a death threat on Edison – BECAUSE OF CASEY!  YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!

So, these geniuses decided to tamper with my A/C unit to “try” and interpret my reaction to him and the problem, check the temperature, code: the, Ch, meaning, the Cherith.

Once this gets published, most likely, it will stop most, if not all, of the death threats.  You stupid fucks!

Either give me what I need, from the movie, Zero Dark Thirty, MEANS, EITHER GIVE ME THE MEANS, THE MONEY, A WAY TO ACTUALLY PAY FOR THESE ORDERS AND OTHER MEANS OF COMMUNICATING AND COMMINICATING PURCHASES, OR STOP WORKING IT IN THIS MANNER!  These fucking assholes, use these purchases to work intelligence, yet they do not ACTUALLY put into consideration, HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO PAY, WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THE FUCKING MONEY COMES FROM?  LIKE I CAN REPLICATE IT, XEROX MONEY AND CURRENCY?!  WHERE’S YOUR FUCKING HEAD?!

Silence of the Lambs, is not code for slots, it is code for, Lot’s wife, it means that while I was at Dachau, as my mother and I were walking to the crematorium there was in front of us in about 180 degrees of sight, work, and people with jobs, that were worked because my mother and I were there, I turned toward my mother, and we walked no further toward the crematorium.  So, to my nine and ten o’clock, were the greatest threats, to my three and four o’clock, on my mother’s side, was at least one US double agent, my eleven and twelve o’clock’s were military, my one through three’s were mostly blocked with trees and buildings, this is intelligence work, and they had the worst, eyeline.

How they coordinated and orchestrated, (Mr. Holland’s Opus, and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels) the silence was having all persons and parties, at the same time, inaudibly, give the loudest noise, most likely, they had people silently scream to me, or at me.  Perhaps, some included names, and so on.

They didn’t block me.  I still see them.  Why someone would do that to me is the only thing that has perplexed me all these years.

Missed three appointments, from Silence Of The Lambs, this is about my Englishman, in this line of dialogue from The Vow episode of Sherlock, you can’t go, I’m pregnant, and the three appointments are my mother, my brother, and myself when we lived in apartments, and the appointment, is me telling two black women in a waiting room, how to defeat – Brain Research.  He learned this information too late.  Self-defense, in advance.

A lot of white noise after 9/11, from Zero Dark Thirty, means a lot of – black noise.  You fried my Blackberry, you fried the whole village, from Leap Year, Leap means, a leap of faith, year being the year I visited Germany, and brought the Berlin Wall down, and the code is: fried me, FM, Blackberry, was not supposed to be a woman with me when I saw, The Matrix.  The whole village is just a way to reference my head and brain, they thought it was the noise that affected my head, it’s not.

Why the fuck would someone go to all that trouble with and for me?  That’s what this has been all about.

Has anyone looked at this: Lord Of The Rings, LOTR, rotten, lady.  Meaning Tolkien, disapproved or did not like someone, a woman, at his present and current time of living, most likely, an Earl’s wife or something similar.  She is seen, in my mind’s eye, as the inspiration for the Ringwraith’s.  And the lidless eye, is just another way to describe a mind palace, as seen in an evil, or wicked mind.

The car that backfires in the Scandal episode of Sherlock, is a cat, morons!  That is my Barney, the most perfect English gentleman, in the body of a cat, that’s my Barney, in the hatchback window of our car as we drove to Florida from Oregon.  Backfires, code: back-fir.  Probably, the reason it is a backfire, is because they did, these handlers, did not get to transfer to Florida, with my family.

It is referenced in 12 Strong, car backfires, fir on your face, it is what happens when you kiss cats, fir on your face.

The recently returned home sports man, from Sherlock, has no “s”, it is, recently returned home, portman, meaning inaudible, portman.  Recently returned, means this man who pushed my mother in the wheelchair while we were at the Brisbane airport, saw the relief on my face, as he took care of my mother for me, for just a little while.  R&R, rest and relaxation, Cherith needed a break, a vacation, some rest, they were working her too hard, often, and much.  In my opinion, incorrectly, they were working me, incorrectly.

He also showed, that is was possible for a man to date and eventually marry me, and me take care of my mother also.  It was my family as a unit that needed to be seen, as a unit, and not individual parts, persons, and people.

The boomerang being washed down stream, this is my brother’s baptism, you should ask him about it, although I was there, it was not about me, and I do not remember the people that were there.  My brother’s baptism took place in the Columbia River.  My baptism was done in a church.  I am pretty sure my brother thought that it was “neat” at the time, to be baptized in a real river.  And, it’s been played out with an actor from 12 Strong in an HBO series, Boardwalk that I stopped watching when they killed off the best actor in the series, and the only reason to watch the series, Michael Pitt.

When I worked for Disney, the second time, they were just curious if I knew what these repairs meant, and what they were doing.

The dryer they’ve broken in this townhouse, means you have a local threat, he has probably been arrested on smaller charges, a few times, and he is still causing problems.

The ice machine and water dispenser, I forgot what I said a few days ago, I have a lot I am going through.

The electrical, the outlets that do not work that need repaired, the outside light, the light on the staircase, these are death threats, not specific, at least not specific enough.

There was a threat against Harry by Casey when my electricity went out the other day.  Do not let her anywhere involved.  She is not smart enough, to begin with.

The hang sandwich in the movie, Leap Year, is code: NAG, my father’s initials, H, the H, is an 8, and half of an 8, is 4, Norm, it also says, either way.

Send her down there, from the movie, Rescuers, code: SH, Sherlock, down, Downing street, there, meaning, Cherith was already working on Downing street as a child.

You caught her sending messages in bottles, code: bot, tells, meaning, bot, is not a robot, it is computer language or code, meaning work orders that were placed in computers, and tells, just means, Cherith will be able to tell you the work she did.

The black hole reference in the movie, The Rescuers, says, Space Race, Space Race says, the Russians won the Space Race against the US and America, meaning, inaudible and a linguist when I was in my mother’s womb, and, I’m scared to go down there, is an opposite, as Penny says, I’m not scared of them like you are.  And that is about the most of me that is seen in the movie, The Rescuers.  I am not an orphan, I am not and was not a child that thought other girls were prettier than me, it did not live in my mindset as a child, I was not insecure, shy or timid.

Whoever adopts me will have to adopt Teddy, just means, that Cherith is a US citizen, as Teddy, means, Teddy Roosevelt, one of my favorite President’s, he seems very contemporary to me still today, adopt, code: POT, President Of The, ad, means, da, or yes.  The reason for the word, adopt, is not, for me to be seen as POTUS, it just says, Cherith is a US citizen, or they wouldn’t have put the da, the Russian.  Here is another reason why I am not seen as POTUS, this line of dialogue, you’ve had her down there for three months, this means someone met me, pretty close to my real age of three months, and they brain-spoke to me, probably in Russian, and other languages, and they saw recognition in my face, and also, most likely, they brain-spoke a persons name, a man I would have liked, who died, and I cried!

All of this information, fact, and knowledge is really unremarkable to me.  I don’t see it as anything else other than fact about who and what I am, nothing more.

You people have swag that’s based off of false bravado, my confidence is from me actually fucking knowing what the truth really is.

These marriage – I do’s, were never supposed to be covers, or false, I really am supposed to get and be married, in a sexual relationship with a straight man who loves me, and who I love in return.  I have no idea why anyone has allowed it to go on so long, or to be seen as such.  The reason I said, my be-married dress, just means that as such a small child, I already saw myself – for real – being married to such a man.  An intelligence man because, wow, he had such a brain!

If anyone is interested at all, the – her confidence, line of dialogue, is from a purchase I made of a coffeepot set made in Ireland.  That purchase, showed someone, I still knew what I was talking about.  George, in Zero Dark Thirty, is a man, I do not yet know, who had worked in Washington, DC.  It looks pretty true and correct, this man, this real man would have spoken to me about Bin Laden, and I would have told him his whereabouts before 9/11.

Probably Chris Pratt was cast in Zero Dark Thirty, code: Chris, Is, R (our), Ch, Cherith, Chris is code for, Is Our Cherith, the United States.

Magnussen, from Sherlock, unless you let me flick your face, this is just, I believe I have already written about this, is a make-up bag I used to have that I used when we travelled, I specifically remember it at the Wyndham hotel near Sea World, in Orlando, Florida, that had the words War Paint on it, war paint says, the reason they named the character War Child in the movie, Point Break.  It’s not really that interesting or of any importance to solve any crimes, other than details, I still remember.  If it is in the script or from the direction of the director of Sherlock for the actor to use his middle finger to flick his face, it just says, not Fuck You, it says, the middle finger is the longest finger, that’s all.  Nothing more.  Nothing significant.

Is it in the books, in the LOTR books, do the trees actually talk in the books?  Because trees do talk.  Sort of.  Has anyone been to the California Redwoods?  We vacationed once at Mt Hermon, it is a Christian retreat with cabins, and I remember being all by myself under those redwoods and listening.

There is also a detail of a photograph of my mother sitting on a sofa with a Norway poster behind her, that looks just like the last fight scene in LOTR, of the entrance.

No Man’s land, in War Horse, just means and shows how Cherith survived when none of you men, no man, loved me, in all those years, and being a brown horse, is a suntan, and practical for a farm horse.

The Legend of 1900, a movie I watched over and over, code: LOT, 1900 is code for 1009, remove the zero’s and it is a 1 and 9, meaning ten.  It is not Lot as in Lot’s wife, be careful you are not led astray, it is LOT, meaning biblical, and 10, meaning Downing Street.

The reason I love the movie, The Legend of 1900, is just one scene alone, the scene of Playing Love, of the character Tim Roth playing an impromptu song while he looks at a young woman walking in front of him.  This is actually supposed to be the real Hannibal Lecter, this is supposed to be my boyfriend, I am supposed to be the young girl, it is not factually correct of a read on him when he was on the cruise when he gave me Pelvic Inflammatory Disease from the toilet paper in the bathroom of our cabin.

I was all alone, when I went back to our cabin to use the restroom.  As I went to wash my hands, I was in immediate pain.  Doubled over in pain.  The real Hannibal Lecter is seen in the Vow episode of Sherlock, as the character, and in the dialogue, it won’t hurt the little one, meaning I would still have sexual function, and be able to have children.

Reliving this is actually really painful, hurtful, and upsetting.  The PID, means he, the real Hannibal Lecter was also, appalled, repulsed, angered, upset, disgusted, and ANGRY, at how fat I was.  So, you fucking morons, that keep PUSHING ME INTO FAT AND BEING FATTER AND FATTER, are now doing it to make my boyfriend angry, so he will do something stupid, like attack me again, or maybe perhaps, someone thinks and believes, this time he will kill me.  Just by making me fatter and fatter.

It really is upsetting that by weight alone, you are placing death threats on me.  By making me fatter and fatter.  Yeah, I am angry at the weight and size of me.  None of you are helping me, you are all trying to kill me.

I am finding it really difficult to write the words, my boyfriend, as my boyfriend at the moment.  I am really hurt by this.  Emotionally hurt, and truly saddened.

How did the real Hannibal Lecter get so much information on me?  While in prison?

I am so hurt by it because I can see it from his mind’s eye, from his mind.  It’s extraordinary hurtful.  He is now, not the same man; however, I don’t actually get to work through this because I don’t get to talk to him or anyone else.

Isolated, we could tell him anything from Zero Dark Thirty, code: is, so, late, meaning she missed her period, late.  We could tell, meaning, people could tell I was pregnant.  Him?  This Englishman.  Anything?  Do you have any feelings for this Englishman, Cherith?

David since Courtney, we have never been the same.  I have no idea how and why people continue to allow her to attack me over and over.

I know the real Hannibal Lecter is sorry for all his crimes.  Sorry, for giving me PID.  At the moment, I am so upset, it is so hurtful to see me through his eyes.  He has told me he is sorry; he has not asked for my forgiveness.  I am working on it, all I remember over and over about the PID, and everyone’s reactions and looking at me, I’VE DONE NOTHING WRONG.

I guess this is all I can do for today…too much hurt.

September 21, 2019: READ: WARNING: Are You Fucking Kidding Me?!

September 21, 2019

Are you fucking kidding me?!  Congratulations, I am through the fucking roof, mad as fucking hell!

Haven’t I written this before?  No, I do not like, if this is her real name, Leslie Van Houten.  If I don’t like you, you’ve got a problem.  ‘Cause, I’m friendly.

It does suggest that Leslie Van Houten because she has refused to accept Christ as her savior, she is still, not just involved, not just following, taking orders from Charles Manson.  Wow, you’ve got a real problem.  Because Leslie Van Houten has a following in the prison where she is being imprisoned.

Does anyone want the real answers to the Charles Manson murders?  Or, is everyone happy to just let it all fade into the history books?  Because the Charles Manson murders have always bothered me.  Meaning, the police work was insufficient.

I suggest Brianna, if she is knowingly attached to Leslie Van Houten, disassociate completely from her.  I wouldn’t speak with her or have any association with her whatsoever.

Don’t you fucking people, get it?!  Leslie Van Houten is still a criminal, she is still a problem, she is still working from her unreformed, mindset.

There is a real fucking difference between brain research and criminal activity.  They might appear the same because brain researched persons often commit crimes, not always, often.  However, they are in no way similar, or the same, AT ALL.

Don’t be fooled by her appearance, by Leslie Van Houten’s appearance, she looks contrite, complicit in her reform, and following orders; well, SHE IS NOT.

Creggan, be real fucking careful, my boyfriend, you can trust, anyone else in the prison system, run it by me first because I swear to fucking Christ, these assholes have no fucking clue what the fuck they’ve been doing!  And DON’T trust any women, other than me!

Who’s the fucking moron who’s corrupted my Word program, so that it doesn’t open properly, anymore?

I WEIGHT TOO MUCH!  I AM TOO HEAVY!  YOU FUCKING MORONS!

September 20, 2019: READ: WARNING: You Have A Serious Problem!

September 20, 2019

You have a serious problem that has yet to be addressed, charged, arrested, admitted, confessed to, and God knows what else I could write.

Who is actually behind and responsible for my car accident that would never have happened, had they not had help, and help from within the police department?

Who is responsible?  Brianna?  Edison?  Courtney?  Who else?  David?!

This is a very serious problem that has gone unchecked since January 2013, when it happened.  I told the police officer, my brother, and everyone else who asked since it happened, I swerved right, and sped up, at the stop sign, where I was – stopped, I swerved right to avoid the car collision.

The car that did not get a ticket, swerved into me and my car.  He hit me.  I doubt there would have been a collision at all.  He had to cross the double yellow line to get to my car, and me because it looks like someone paid him and people – to kill me.  Because I was not supposed to live beyond remembering all the work, I’ve done, according to someone else.

This is the truth, as Magnussen says, in Sherlock, I am no evil villain, I have no evil plan.  Cherith is no evil villain, Cherith has no evil plan.  And guess what?  There are real terrorists, that know, that is the truth.  You have people who are just waiting for the US intelligence to make such a fuck-up, so they can and will attack us and are allies – again.

You dumb, fucking, MORONS!

Be careful, you people are not just following along because someone else told you what it meant, rather than, understanding the true meaning behind, the truth.  I was not meant to survive, the car accident.  My head was not meant to survive, the car accident, and you people have it in the news, and displayed all around me, that celebrities are connected and involved with my car accident, and I was not supposed to have survived, so you dumb fucks, by allowing celebrities and other people to appear in black paint, on television, around me, and in the news, have placed death threats on them.  With black paint alone.

I have not done this.

You people have.

You dumb fucking morons!

As I am looking at this photo in the news, of the Texas man, kills grandmother, the right eye, says, true.

Be real fucking careful, no, I very much doubt that Edison, wanted to clean my carpet.  If you knew me at all.  If you were really trying to access my brain, you would not have sent a Hispanic, you would have sent, a Russian.  If you knew me at all.  If you thought you understood the Genesis, the beginning of it all, you would have sent a Russian.  You dumb, fucking, swaggering, peacock, FUCK!

Either this is real, or I don’t know what I am talking about, this FBI man, while he was still in FBI Academy because his Russian is pretty good, is it not?  No joke, his entire career, then, has been sabotaged, JFC, before he graduated, internally, a communication would have been intercepted, and he was assigned a lesbian partner, what most, if not all of his career before her death?!  Just because his Russian is pretty good, and he would have been a good resource to me, most likely.

Would we have made too glamourous a couple, for some woman?  People?  Be real fucking careful, I should be seen as glamorous.  Warning.

You have thirty years of intelligence that has been mostly, or, JFC, without my fail-safe, would have been corrupted, by gay sex-brain, alone.  And, that is not my brain.  Shame on you.  You’ve known better, and not fixed it.

Well, now there is another FBI man now, who is too upset about not knowing this shit had really been going on, to allow it to continue.  He admires me, loves me, and wants to know more.

Yeah, I got it, it was a high-profile meet, guess what?  It really doesn’t matter to me.  How many years, have I been doing this?  Someone one else’s opinion should matter to me?  Well, I know, the fact that it doesn’t to me, and they know it doesn’t, MAKES THIS FUCKING COUNTRY – SAFER!

I’m cool with it, bro, from the movie, Zero Dark Thirty, is code, not in words, in symbols, Code: I, C, W, I, B: W: take the W, turn it upside down, take the “B”, and separate it, that makes it a, “W” and an “I”, turn the, W, upside down, take the “C”, and turn it upside down, take the “I’s” and underline the W’s and C, you have two mountains, and a head.  That’s my MAP head.

When I write, my handwriting, as well, as Word, do not use a Roman Numeral, I, like a column, or pillar.  It is a simple up and down, I.

It’s the new sexy, from Sherlock, if you thought it was code for, Tin-Sex, you got it half-right, it is code for Tin, sex, meaning, when children play, “telephone”, they use two tin cans and a string, connecting the two, together.  This is David, talking to me on the telephone, at Disney.  They rest is really, a lot, and not flattering at all, to his then, girlfriend, and I am not interested in writing it all at this time.

I don’t understand, from the Scandal episode of Sherlock, means David’s then girlfriend was not going to marry him.  They had broken up after Sherlock.

I have pages and pages of notes, I could write, and publish.  I have a backlog of writing, I’ve already done, I could publish.  I have cigarettes, I could buy because I am going to smoke every one on this “Op”, from the movie, Zero Dark Thirty, I am so ashamed of my country, this means, people, in high intelligence, knew, they were going to take away, by surgery, my ability to have children when I could have still conceived and had children before the movie was released, and no one did anything to prevent it, and they allowed my sterilization – to happen, and my military brain, the greatest military brain in all of history, has been – lost, for future generations.

I’m a private detective, from Sherlock, is NOT code for Police Department, it is code for: Director of Photography.

I am still recovering.  As the A/C unit with the bad blower motor, was a death threat against me.  How greatly unhappy I am, at the moment.

Yeah, I am no longer employed, so I’ve changed my computer’s pictures from those of the Department of Defense’s protection, to the photos of my haggard, ragged, and destroyed, pretty, and beautiful face.

Do you want to know why Papa, is so important?  Can anyone guess?

They gave me a choice.  A choice, as a child, of missions.  I, as always, chose, the greatest priority, to our country, and to the peace and welfare of Western civilization.  I chose, Papa.  How many other people knew the work he was “caught” in?  I chose him.

That doesn’t mean the other people they showed me, were not worked, it means, I chose Papa, for a reason.  He is most certainly alive today because of me.

September 18, 2019: READ: Swindled And Angry!

September 18, 2019

Swindled for nothing but money since I’ve moved here!

Had I known my life was going to be this way, I would never have sold my house, moved here, or given up caring for my mother.

None of you know anything about me, or women, and women’s feelings.  Congratulations David you just lost me.  Just because it’s in a movie or television show doesn’t mean those reads and feelings live forever.

Angry.  Angry about constantly being swindled for nothing but money!  None of you have allowed me to be loved by a straight man I love, and me love him in return since I was seventeen years old.

Go away!  Swindled!  Angry!

 

 

September 17, 2019: READ: WARNING: I Am Not Amused

September 17, 2019

I am really not amused.  Because I was coughing up blood from being overheated and overcome by the heat last week, they have decided to cripple my air-conditioner.

No one, and they, are really not interested in me surviving being terminated and fired from Amazon, for doing nothing wrong.

Yes, this man who was coughing next to the room I was in when they terminated me, it appears people are conspiring against him because this man really does know how to sexually please me.

Be careful Tim, and my military men, it looks like at least one person wants to make sure the US military is weakened without me. The phone call my father received today, proves it.

DDLM

September 16, 2019: READ: Upset.

September 16, 2019

I am simply too upset and hurt beyond words.  All my writing, I’ve placed on hold and haven’t published, and I’ve stopped notetaking.

Probably someone thought they needed to make me famous, as a way to stop the attacks.  What they forgot to realize, or failed to realize, all it would have taken would be for me to truthfully understand all the work, I’ve already done.

There is no reason for this televised life to continue with me all alone.  You have taught my father to live without me, and my brother to live without me, as if you are preparing them for my death and funeral.

Shame on all of you for not allowing me to get married for real, and love for real.

I cannot stand your deception.

I am so upset, I am not reading or writing, anymore.

September 14, 2019: READ: WARNING: STOP DECODING!

September 14, 2019

Jesus fucking Christ!  I have yet to see or read ANY PERSON who is able to accurately decode movies, television, film, or books, concerning me, OTHER THAN MYSELF!  DO THE WHOLE GODDAMN WORLD A FAVOR AND STOP FUCKING DECODING!  YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE DOING!

YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!  YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME, IF ANY PERSON ACTUALLY THOUGHT, IN TWILIGHT, BELLA (BELLA IS NOT REALLY ISABELLA FROM WUTHERING HEIGHT, FOLLOW THAT LEAD IF YOU WANT TO, IT WILL GET YOU NOWHERE!), IF YOU THOUGHT BELLA HAD TO CHANGE, HAD ANYTHING TO DO WHATSOEVER WITH TRANSGENDER, SEXUAL RE-ASSIGNMENT SURGERY, BEING ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN, OR ANYTHING WHATSOEVER THAT RESEMBLES THE WRITING OF THE BOOKS, OR MOVIES!  LITERALLY!

BY THE WAY, THAT IS MY REAL MOTHER ON THE GURNEY, HAVING ME AS A CHILD, YOU DUMB FUCKS!

DO YOU KNOW HOW YOU RIDE A HORSE, YOU STUPID, FUCKING PEOPLE?!  DO YOU?!  YOU BREAK THEM!  THAT IS ALL THE BACK MEANS IN TWILIGHT, WHEN HER BACK GOES OUT AND EDWARD, HER FUCKING HUSBAND, YOU DUMB FUCKING IDIOTS, CATCHES HER HEAD!  GET IT!  HER HEAD!  IT’S A GODDAMN FUCKING METAPHOR!  YOU STUPID FUCKS!

YOU FUCKING MORONS ARE CONFUSING STORY-TELLING WITH ACTUAL FACT!  JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!  STORY-TELLING, SO PEOPLE WILL BE ENTERTAINED, AND PEOPLE WILL BE ABLE TO MAKE MONEY OFF IT!  STORY-TELLING!

I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW FUCKING STUPID, YOU FUCKING MORONS LOOK!  AT THIS MOMENT, YOU MAKE ME ASHAMED TO BE AN AMERICAN BECAUSE THIS LOOKS LIKE PURPOSEFUL INTENT – FROM AMERICANS, AGAINST ME AND MY FAMILY BECAUSE WE ARE ALSO, AMERICAN!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!  NEED TO KNOW!  FOR FUCKS SAKES!  I’VE BEEN ABOVE YOUR PAY-GRADES ON PURPOSE!  THEY CHOSE ME TO KEEP THE SECRETS BECAUSE I HAD ALREADY PROVEN TO THE VERY TOP MOST CLASSIFIED PERSONS, I AM ABLE TO NOT DIVULGE INFORMATION, I AM A PROVEN FAIL-SAFE, AND YOU FUCKING MORONS THOUGHT I WAS NOTHING, AND ALL OF YOU WITH YOUR BADGES, HAD ALL OF THE FUCKING INFORMATION WHEN YOU’VE OBVIOUSLY, HAVE NOT!

CHARLIE, FROM TWILIGHT HUGGING HIS DAUGHTER AFTER SHE’S BECOMES A VAMPIRE, MY DAUGHTER THAT LOOKS LIKE MY DAUGHTER, BUT NOT, YOU KNOW WHY?!  BECAUSE OF THE ACTRESS’ BODY SIZE! 

THE CREEPY EYES IN TWILLIGHT, REALLY NOT THAT INTERESTING, BUT THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS: HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TO AN OPTOMITRIST AND HAD THEIR EYES EXAMINED?  EVER HAD YOUR EYES, DILALATED?!  IT’S ALSO IN SHERLOCK, PUPILS DILATED, THAT’S ALL IT IS.

REALLY IT’S JUST SOME SCARY STORY, FROM TWILIGHT, YEAH, LIKE THE SCARY STORY I TOLD TO A ROOM FULL OF GIRLS WHILE AS A PRE-TEEN WHILE HAVING A SLEEPOVER BECAUSE HER GODDAMN FUCKING FATHER WAS WORKING WITH INTELLIGENCE, PROBABLY FBI, AND LITERALLY HAD THE PAPERWORK, FILES, AND SO ON OF MURDER CASES HE WAS WORKING ON AND I FUCKING READ IT WITHOUT EVER HAVING BEEN IN HIS GODDAMN FUCKING OFFICE, I TURNED THE DETAILS INTO A STORY FOR THE GIRLS, SO THEY WOULDN’T BE AFRAID OF WHAT WAS IN THE GODDAMN FUCKING HOUSE!

THIS FUCKING DETAIL ISN’T INTERESTING TO ME EITHER; THE REASON VAMPIRES ARE HARD LIKE MARBLE OR STONE, THIS IS A WOMAN I USED TO WORK WITH AT DILLARD’S WHO SUPPOSEDLY HAD BREAST IMPLANT SURGERY AND IT WHATEVER’ED IN HER BODY AFTER THE SURGERY, SO HER BREASTS WERE UNMOVEABLE, AND HARD, AND BEFORE YOU STUPID FUCKING PEOPLE CAME AROUND I NEVER SAW ANYTHING WEIRD ABOUT GIVING A CO-WORKER A HUG.  I AM A FUCKING FRIENDLY PERSON, YOU DUMB MORONS!  THIS DOESN’T MEAN THIS WOMAN ACTUALLY HAD BREAST IMPLANT SURGERY, SHE COULD HAVE BEEN WERE FAKE BOOBS.  SO WHAT?!  LIKE I’D REALLY GIVE A SHIT.

YOU FUCKING PEOPLE LOOK PERVERSE AS HELL!  YOU DON’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE, OR YOU REALLY DON’T KNOW HOW TO READ, OR YOU REALLY DON’T THINK I WAS SMARTER THAN YOU BECAUSE I MADE YOU SMILE AND LAUGH AND FEEL UNTHREATENED!

Is this real?  Because if this is true, you have death threats out there, you haven’t gotten rid of all of them.  You placed the blame on my brother to bear the burden of when it was to be revealed, shame on you, he didn’t know what he was doing.  When my brother texted me that he would take the cats, my cats, that is all he wrote, I’ll take the cats.  He didn’t say I would take them to the pound to be killed, people made certain, I did not know this was going to happen or I would never have given them to him. 

I CAN ONLY BE SO UPSET BY THIS BECAUSE IT MUST STILL BE AN ACTIVE AND PRESENT DANGER TO REAL FUCKING PEOPLE, AND THIS INCLUDES CELEBRITIES, I AM STILL SO UPSET ABOUT MY CATS, TUESDAY AND THURSDAY BEING GONE, IT MUST MEAN YOU DUMB FUCKS ALLOWED FOR THERE TO BE REAL DEATH THREATS, REAL KILLS, REAL CONTRACTS, PLACED ON REAL PEOPLE’S LIVES, AND THAT INCLUDES, BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH AS HE WAS SEEN IN THIS HOUSE, WHILE YOU FUCKING MORONS ALLOWED ME TO BE WATCHED IN MY OWN HOME THROUGH THE TELEVISION BECAUSE YOU REALLY HAD NO IDEA WHO I WAS AND AM, BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH AS MY THURSDAY!  STRAIGHTEN THIS FUCKING SHIT OUT AND I MEAN – NOW!

THERE ARE REAL DEATH THREATS ON REAL PEOPLE, MORE THAN JUST CELEBRITIES BECAUSE THERE WERE CONNECTIONS MADE TO THEM WHEN I LIVED IN PLANT CITY, FLORIDA, CONNECTIONS MADE THROUGH MY CATS, TUESDAY AND THURSDAY, CATS, ARE SEEN AS – CHILDREN, AND OR, AGAINST CHILD ABUSE AND SEXUAL CHILD ABUSE!  YOU DUMB FUCKING MORONIC PEOPLE!

HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO MY BROTHER!  HE WILL NEED HELP!  BOYFRIEND, YOU MIGHT NEED TO TALK WITH HIM!  BECAUSE THIS HAS CONNECTIONS WITHIN THE PRISON COMMUNITY!  YOU FUCKING IMBECILES!

EVERY SINGLE DAY, IT IS THE SAME, I AM BEYOND FEVER-PITCH UPSET, ANGRY, MAD BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE ARE STUPID, AND I WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN AFFLIATED WITH ANY OF YOU, HAD I BEEN ABLE TO HAVE ANY AMOUNT OF CONTROL!

David, you seem dishonest at the moment because you included your former girlfriend.  She continues to be a menace to me, and you look like you are enabling her.

David, I have no idea how you could possibly be able to knowingly watch me eat or drink or wash myself that you know has been tampered with and contaminated with to make me heavy, fat, and ugly unless you really are trying and want me to unfriend you, and worse, place death upon you.  No joke.  When you include yourself in this behavior, of air-cheating, you are asking me to literally kill you.  That goes for EVERY person involved in the air-cheating.  You are literally asking and begging me to kill you.  Is that what you really want?  To be dead?  To die?  Really?  All of you?!

And, every person that reads this will also have this information, that people want to die.  I write it so there will be an end to the abuse.  Abusing me with air-cheating.  Be careful, any amount of love I have for a person might not be enough to stop death from happening.

David, Brianna is bitter, bitter, bitter, about how your relationship happened, and ended.  Bitter.  Courtney is angry and entitled to feeling she deserves to have me as a possession, something she owns, like a shirt.  David, why have you never protected me against any of these women, or at all?  Figure that out and you might be able to then live in my heart again.

You understand David, it is not possible for you to be able to knowingly watch fat being added to my body, knowing it is going to hurt and upset me, seeing me bald-ed, knowing it is going to hurt and upset me, and you actually love me.  You can’t possibly love me in any way and have yourself involved with actually hurting and harming me.  You show to the world, you don’t love me.  It is in fact, monstrous and grotesque.

It is in Twilight, when David went to University, I cried so loud every night, for months, I screamed, cried.  It probably has to do with more than him.  Being denied to love a straight man – again.

I don’t appreciate the tricks you played on my skincare products, and the red splotches I have under my eyes.

This other FBI man should know, it appears Edison, has altered my perfumed products because he is threatened and jealous of this other FBI man because this other FBI man is more of a man, an all man, man, than Edison is able or capable of being.

What is the real reason Louis is gone?!  People went to all that work to bring him here, and now he is gone?  What is the real reason?

I am so upset I have stopped reading all of your news sources.