Author: Dgbcfhn

You need to speak with your brother, David.

You along with everyone has failed to understand my brain.

How could I possibly understand that there are people in the world that can see into another person’s brain?

Do you remember the first time I met your brother?  I do.

At your apartment both you and he came prepared with alcohol and liquor.  The point, I guess, was to get me drunk.  So, you could bed me and dump me which is your M.O, and I knew it.  That is why I never allowed myself to get drunk-sleep with you.

Ironically, isn’t that what Edison was?  A way for you to dump me after having “slept” with me.  I will never see it that way.

In less than a blink of an eye I knew.

Your brother has never approved of me.

Did your brother actually help you with braces because he believed you had poor self-esteem mostly in part because you were so affected by me?

Me, an over-weight, fat woman no man would want to present in public.  This is how he saw me.

That is how your brother Tim Wolfe saw and sees me.

You have no idea how hard I tried to win his approval.  You will never know.

He disliked me instantly.  Before he met me.  He disliked me, and that has not changed.

He was never going to like me.

I have tried for years to get away from you, David Wolfe.

I will never be able in truth – to ever be a part of your family.

Anyway, at best I was nothing more than a funny side-kick to you.  The friend who never gets to be the leading lady in her own life, have a man who will cherish her above all else, or a sex goddess a man is willing to wage battles and wars in order to protect her honor and reputation.

Just a friend.  At best – a best friend, a person easily replaced by others.

You have no idea how humiliating it is to have to walk under your legs every day.  It is so disgusting, to have to walk under a married man’s legs, and if I don’t than I am stuck with endless hours of puppy/dog training pads.  Because you are unable to allow me to wash myself properly.

Yeah, you really know the way to a woman’s heart – to this woman’s heart.

You have the perfect trophy wife.  Every man would agree she looks better on you than I ever could even if it was possible for me to ever have feelings for you again which it is not.  I will not allow myself to ever get near you like that again.

You knew it when you invented Edison.  It would never again be possible for the world to stop and start just by looking at your face.

It was wrong of me in college to hold you with my gaze.  I dismissed Tim.  I dismissed his opinion of me and you and me.

I should have ended our friendship after meeting your brother the first time.

I held you in my eyes because I could.  It was wrong of me to do so.  Your brother is right, you are better off with the picture-perfect Courtney.

They forced weight gain on me – again – with my groceries this week, they have no idea the harm they do in doing so.

Hard enough as it is to not be allowed to be clean, then I am forced to gain 5, 10 or more pounds in a matter of a couple of days by eating less than 1,000 calories a day.

You have no idea how women think if you believe this to be acceptable.

It is bad enough I have a patchwork stomach, stitched so you can monitor me, then proceed to humiliate me.

You knew better David.  You knew better than to allow that Alabama/Mississippi woman dressed as a man near me.

Any good idea or belief I ever had in you has long since been replaced by these years I’ve had to live.

Your brother, Tim, if asked will cleverly avoid and deflect any confrontation or acknowledgment of my assessment.  And, you will believe him.

Let me go.

Let me live without you.

Let me live without you and your family.

Let me finally have a man I can spend the rest of my life with because it will never be you, Edison, or James Franco.

Your epic failure – Edison.

Your epic failure – was not believing in me to begin with.

I will never be able to fully write my feelings in regard to having/being forced to live here has done to me, my brain, and my faith that there could ever be a man I find sexually attractive who would want me in return.

A man or woman that does not allow a woman or person to wash properly is a pervert.  Her vehicle should never come into play – at all.  Ever.

Brain work is harder than it looks.  Then, try years of being starved, deprived of food, force fed calories and weight gain, not being allowed to wash properly, forced to sweat, soggy crotch, not allowed employment that I can live off of by myself, not being allowed proper nutrition, being experimented upon by being drugged over and over and over again.  How is it I have a varicose vein in the shape of a Y?

How could I ever think or feel the same way about you or your family ever again?

You have laid be bare, exposed me to be shamed, ridiculed, humiliated, laughed at, spurned, scorned, and left for dead.

All because I have a special gift that allows me to see more in others than ever before believed possible.

There is no fix to this problem.  There is no solution.  There is no remedy.

In placing me in this housing complex you have lied to the entire world.  It is not possible for either direction to ever be possible.

No way can I ever be a lesbian/black, or a woman’s baby.

No way can I ever allow myself to feel a part of or want to be a part of your family.  Talk to your family.  They have never liked me.

I thought you knew.

All these years I thought you knew.

I am not fit emotionally or mentally to detail the event that took place Tuesday night April 24, 2018 that caused a complete shut-down of my brain.  You knew better than to allow that to happen and whomever was responsible for my hand – for I know it was not me.

Tim Wolfe and others may be able to control and predict outcomes of circumstances, however you have failed to understand they cannot now nor ever predict or control feelings or emotions.  They cannot predict or control my emotions.

However attractive South Carolina may have been to me I will NEVER allow myself to EVER believe that COULD ever be a possibility.  I will NEVER believe you.  I will NEVER believe those voices you place in my head that are not my own.

I am not as naïve as you believe me to be.  I simply have not had real choices.

I will NEVER allow myself to BELIEVE South Carolina.

Tuesday night was exceedingly harmful, yet despite that I still gave of myself.  I don’t have to.  You never acknowledge my hard work that is harder than what I get paid for.

David Wolfe, the thought of you is so disgusting.

Tuesday night was a fracture.  A separation of myself.  How much longer do you think that is possible to continue?

How long until I plow my car into a streetlight in hopes of ending the light and vastness of my brain?

Until further notice, my blog and writing is stopped and shut-down.

I think you need to be reminded of how many abused women do not seek medical attention.

If you failed to understand from the events that took place on Tuesday – all further writing has ceased.

Writing, blogging, my postings are cancelled until further notice.

Puzzle pieces, articles, everything has been cancelled including that goddamn car!

Until my ugly belly and soggy crotch are corrected!

Cancelled!

Coffee and Breakfast is cancelled until further notice.

Ugly belly, ugly belly, ugly belly, ugly belly, ugly belly, ugly belly, ugly belly.

Soggy crotch, soggy crotch, soggy crotch, soggy crotch.

I do what is asked of me.

I do what is best for me and this is the thanks I get.

Cancelled.

I do not understand your vision.

I do not understand her vision.

I only understand my vision.

I do not, nor have I ever, nor could I ever understand anyone else’s vision other than my own.  If you think about that for a moment you will figure that out.  It is impossible for any person to be remade into another person’s ideal.

It goes against the very grain of nature.

It goes against my nature.

I am unable to accept that.

What can never be, will never be, so I do not understand.

I do not understand any of this.

Here is your debriefing.

Soggy underwear.

Soggy crotch.

You need to feel the ripple effect of what you caused rather than what you created.  So, until my situation is cleared away of contaminants, debris, and other barriers to keep me from thinking straight I will not be writing in full detail.

It was unnecessary to make me sweat in each arm pit.  The end of the world was not going to happen because we spoke.  I will be writing that again when I write in detail.  Either people find it interesting or it is merely busy work to keep me occupied to write about everything I see.

People fail to realize that I am a real person going through real problems, real grief, real pain, real hurt, real trauma, not a machine that was created to perform.  If your mind was a coliseum filled with people, spectators, contests, and killing you would do want you needed to do to give your own mind a room where you could shut the door.  If little else to keep other’s off the scent.

There were many puzzle pieces at the gas station – no time today.

Herman Melville.  If you want to know why Moby Dick got remade into a movie, ask my brother.  Because I spoke to him in the kitchen of our family home about being able to see Herman Melville, how he wrote, what he liked about writing, how his mind worked, and how something as simple as a nutrition deficiency, or a skin problem such as soap or clothing effected his mind creating disruption in his relationships ultimately damaging himself and his career by tarnishing his reputation.

If you want to know why Fifty Shades of Grey was written.  I am the reason.  Fifty Shades of Grey was written to straighten out Irene Adler’s character.

Ugly belly, ugly belly, ugly belly, ugly belly, ugly belly, ugly belly, ugly belly, ugly belly ugly belly, ugly belly, ugly belly!

Situation.

There is a situation in my underpants.

There is a situation in my panties.

So, until there is no longer a situation in my underwear, I will not be writing or speaking to you.

I don’t have to look at any of you.  I don’t have to write the nice things I see in you.

Since, I would rather be dead than live like – FUCK OFF!

Every single day living my worst nightmare than you create an abnormal situation, you lie.  Every day the blue tooth lies.

I don’t give a fuck about your editing abilities.

The longer you keep this up the worse it gets for you.

It is extortion and coercion.

How would you like to live every day not being able to wash your privates?!

Fuck off!

As if it is my fault I am attracted to the men I am attracted to and NOT attracted to the men I am NOT attracted to.

Like that is my fault.

You would push back too being forced into an arranged marriage to a voice in your head!!!  Fuck you!

There is no excuse whatsoever for not being able to have clean panties and privates.

You are the worst men and women I have ever none to allow such behavior.

Fuck you.

Virtual Reality does not work.

I do not know how many years I have to scream, yell, and repeat over and over that VR does not work.

You failed to accept the fact that I can see into another person’s mind.

September 11, 2001 is the proof of an awareness in other’s of me and my gifts.

Naturally, VR and the way it was used on me would end in complete failure.

You have blamed it on me when in truth it was NOT MY FAULT.

To whom was I supposed to respond?!  The person in front of me or the person operating the equipment, or the person overseeing everything?!

Create your own expletive for yourself.  I am sick of writing and speaking about it.

Married men, attached men, women and gays – STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY BED!  YOU  NEVER HAD A PLACE THERE!