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Disclaimer: Men Born Male Only, No Gays, No Skirt Wearing Fairies, No Transgender, No Tires, No Women Allowed!  No African-America men, no black men.  This is about properness and correctness not the color of the skin.

 

Have you ever read something one place and put the information in another place?

I just did.

Disclaimer: Men Born Male Only, No Gays, No Skirt Wearing Fairies, No Transgender, No Tires, No Women Allowed!  No African-American men or black men. 

Make sure the seasoning is correct.  It is salt and pepper for flavor on food.  It is all about the flavor on the tongue.  Tongues, mouths, they are not sinister or bad.  Being orally-fixated as I am is not wrong, or a problem that must change.  I used to be able to wear my mouth naturally.  Usually it was slightly askew.  I believe it was a thinking place for me, a tethering position of the brain because then I can do other things with my eyes.  Only brain-thinkers might truly get that.  It is one reason I enjoyed gum.  Gum makes no noise.

He will be a very lucky man whenever I get to be with him in the flesh.  He will need to buy stock in water and hydration products in order to keep going.  No joke.

Disclaimer: Men Born Male Only, No Gays, No Skirt Wearing Fairies, No Transgender, No Tires, No Women Allowed!  No African-American men or black men. 

For the Love of God

Do not get confused in thinking that you are able, capable, or worthy of being in the room with me.  I am using what I have available to me because it is more important to be able to see beyond editing, to know he’s are in agreement with me about me being correct in knowing my sexual orientation and wanting it to stay straight unable to want anything other than the inner truth, for the world is a better place when I am able to see all of it.

Disclaimer: Men Born Male Only, No Gays, No Skirt Wearing Fairies, No Transgender, No Tires, No Women Allowed!  No African-American men or black men. 

Because sometimes strong language is what’s needed to get the point across.  This internal betrayal came under scrutiny because I knew and was aware of impending danger and dangers that were being planned and formed – live, while it was happening.  Immediately, I was made beyond excessive force to try and believe otherwise for the safety and security of my job and employment when I knew I was correct.

What I have done is not entertainment, I quite literally saved people and the world from grave harm.  I was not alone.  For if others had not responded with immediacy when informed, today, this moment, being able to read my work would quite possibly not be here.  I might not be here.  You might not be here.  None of us might not be here.  None.  Think about that.  Take a moment, let that sink in, this is of an extreme serious nature, this gross misjustice.

Because my work did not involve or include a group of people, persons, management, and leadership they tried beyond excessive force to turn the truth into a fallacy.

It is more than beyond a gross misuse, misjustice, and mishandling of information, and me.  A very serious misjustice.  A very serious misuse.  A very, very serious mishandling.

It takes a truly disgusting person to take away from me my credentials, my authority, my beliefs, my well of truth, my victories, my position, and my nature.

I need you to think this through very, very carefully.  Because if you do not remove this immediately there is going to be nothing but bad and badness well past the ending. I cannot stress this enough.  Think very, very carefully.  Because it is happening as I write this.

Corporations are at risk, reputations are at risk, lives are at risk.  And, I have not seen nearly enough of a response to the correcting of it all.

Disclaimer: Men Born Male Only, No Gays, No Skirt Wearing Fairies, No Transgender, No Tires, No Women Allowed!  Until this matter is corrected properly no African-American men or black men. 

Correction: I did understand the purpose of the man I saw, I am specifically not writing about some details on purpose.  It was the role of the media that caused and made significant damage to the investigation of a serial killer.  It was not about freedom of the press, or freedom of speech.  The story grew out of control allowing for panic and fear to take over when if the media had been properly handled, managed, dealt with there might not have been as many killings as there were.  This is a huge point.  One that is of the utmost seriousness.  Because there are people still about who do not have the proper training, the proper credentials, the proper authority, the proper agenda, the proper motives, the proper ideas, the proper values, the proper input, the proper wherewithal.  Again, this is a very serious matter.

For security purposes, I think and believe it is best to not re-use people.  One person should only be allowed to be one person’s proxy, and not be used by several and multiple people.  It is a damaging process in allowing such interference.  Reputations, names, countries are at risk by allowing such practices.  I want it to stop.  For security, it is not possible for some people to just hop in and out.  For security.  Very, very, very important.  I do not – I see a happening, an idea forming in people’s minds thinking they can and should play war games.  This is real.  This is a very big deal to me.  Very big.  I am not able to stress this enough.  I do not want, nor will I allow certain very important people to have their lives ruined at the best.  Crucial.  Seriously crucial.  Of the utmost importance.

I am aware that there are more than several high-profile, important, wealthy people and businessmen who have said and told people I should be given what I am asking for.  Nearly regardless of what I ask for it should be given to me.  For reasons I do not have to discuss.  This is also a very big, serious matter that has not been handled correctly or at all.

Let it be known, I will not be re-parking my car at work.  I am not a woman wanting to be disguised as a man.

Also, hard-armwood, it is the football and sports connection that has yet to be properly corrected.  Until then, I must cease.  I do not want it to be misunderstood or construed as involvement with the current sports connection.  It needs to be properly corrected, affirmative.  Notice, that is not a question mark.  The best start for this will be with the left foot.

Please stop being careless.  GI’s do not apologize.

Make certain you understand I will always love David.  I have written this more than once.  When you love someone it never goes away.  However, I will never be able to be in love with him.  It is the risk he took with whatever the fuck that was.  A dating experiment?  To see if they could create another show?  I will never believe it was a test of any kind, not at all.  Everyone who has known me, monitored me, spied on me, watched me, knows better than that.  There was no evidence of any sort on my part of any misconduct.  None.  Remember they’ve had listening devices and hidden cameras in my homes for decades.  To say their conduct is illegal is one thing, it is so immoral.  I am beyond words.  To know that David was also involved in this behavior damages any hope of speaking or any reconciliation at all.

Again, there has been no purpose in these hand years.  Because a person does not become gay or want the same sex just because a great man will no longer be available or no longer be great to me.  I write this because they wanted me to write that David believed I was gay.  They wanted to use me to pick a fight with David.  He knew me better than that.  They made me upset at work about it, making me think about it using mind control.  It is so hurtful.  I had God moments with David.  I will never want a woman to replace him.  It will always be a man that will be in my life.  To think, create, cause, and do otherwise is beyond dumb.

I am no longer going to be providing a diary, or details of my life to be investigated to prove that I am correct.  It is more than about time that – they, every person, come forward, be forth coming, and confess.

I have a theory.  A theory about my brother and his involvement.  I believe he was paid for information and details.  I believe he was blackmailed.  They must have had something involving him in such a way.  It might take him a while to work through those memories, but when my surgery was discussed he was off.  I could not understand it.  He was worried, concerned, fearful.  I saw him looking in his mind at conversations and details he had shared.  I believe he sent them to an email address that could have been read by several people.  He had people he messaged through his phone.  But, the surgery was a worry for him.  He looked like a man who had gone too far and did not know who to trust, how to get help, how to break off communications, and stop the process.  Do not be confused, I do not believe he did or said anything intentionally.  I believe after the surgery was brought about he wondered how it could be used or misconstrued.  I do not believe for a moment my brother ever said or believed I was gay.  He was trying to figure out what they had planned.  What they were doing and what they were going to do.

He was nervous on the day of the operation.  One person was extremely nervous who was with me before I went into surgery.  I was not able to understand that reaction as well.  I almost asked her to leave it was so disrupting.  I have not lied, nor never lied about wanting children, having a family, and getting married.  It is all I wanted after taking care of my mother.  My time for struggling, living like a teen-ager, and wanting to pursue acting, film, or singing was over.  I wanted a man to love.  I wanted a home with him.  My time felt short, at times it still feels short.  Half of my life is gone.  I wanted to spend the rest of my life loving and being loved by a man.

Two things, my brother helped me with.  We both tried to get a divorce for my mother from our father.  Power of Attorney over my mother was needed for her to go to a nursing home.  For reasons I will not share, I believed my brother should have Power of Attorney for my mother.  Had I known that my brother was working with other parties, I would not have allowed it, not for a moment would I have allowed it.  The divorce the attorney could not help with.  I believe it is because they needed my father’s income somehow.  Somehow, they were able to siphon off money not just from my mother and father, I believe they used money I lent to my brother as a startup cost of some sort, or to be used somehow.  I loaned a lot of money to my brother, who had been a professor at a University, when he returned home, he had an unusual amount of debt considering his job, income, housing, and spending.  Unusual.  The attorney my brother went through also did adoptions.  They were not Russian, or a Russian lawyer.  I am not sure any of it was legal anymore.

For my brother it would seems as though it was coming from a good place that it was going to be a good thing.  When it was not.

My surgery I believe, beyond not allowing my lineage to continue, also disfigured me.  My stomach has never been the same since the surgery.  I used to do almost 200 sit-ups and crunches a day, I worked-out, I ran, and I was never able, have never been able to lose my belly.  It is a round bulge on the front that regardless of how much weight I’ve lost does not go down and flat.  I believe not only did they take out my organs, they placed fat, they rearranged fatty tissue and placed it on purpose on the front of my stomach.  It is malicious.  There is no connection to the muscle below my skin around my belly button.  None.  It is lop-sided.  One side sticks out more than the other.  It is with malicious intent not only to remove my reproductive organs, but to create an unnatural stomach and belly.  Why would a person or any person do such a thing?  It is cruel.

I surprise and impress people every day with how well and accurate I am with my skills.  Yesterday, while going through some work, I saw that a woman was dead.  The image had been altered and edited, the details I will leave out, no one needs to know everything, I knew from looking at the photograph that she was already dead and had been for some time.  I heard him in my head, impressed.  Almost remarkable.  I do it all the time.  This one is missing but is dead.  This one is still missing.  This one has been abused and it is horrible.  On and on.  I am not alone in this.  There are many people who have this skill and ability.

Do not be fooled, they have not trained me to be able to do these things.  How many more examples must I write that happened before any of these scripts took place?

God dammit, tonight they wanted to know why something had taken so long for an answer.  It is something that I am able to dismiss, set aside, ignore, whatever helps you see it in your head.  If I am not asked properly and in the proper manner, or asked the question at all, most likely I will not answer it.

I am not interested in giving specifics on my cats when I am asked.  I have my reasons.  You need to stop asking me, being involved, and causing problems where there should be none.

Do not forget, I am the only person with the key.

Blow Jobs, I want to know why you allow this to continue.  You allow for them to deliver damaged products that will harm me, inflate me, make me sick, or worse.  These are products and brands from companies with reputations including Amazon.  So, I want to know why you would allow them to, for instance, deliver gum that will blow up like a balloon when chewed, or hair dye or hair spray or shampoo that will cause my hair to break or my hair to be removed from the scalp, or adult beverages that will sedate me or make me sick.  Why do you allow this to continue?!  Because it could be considered negligence.  Not to mention the damage it will cause on the reputation of these companies.  Many companies are involved.

Blow Jobs, why is it that it is my job to first be a human experimentation of products to then complain about so that it gets written about?  Why is it not the other way around?

A brand of cat-litter that I used to use before, I bought because it did the best job for me, my wants, and my cats.  I was made to stop and change to a different brand because it used walnut shells instead.  Walnut shells being a food that you do not eat.  Why was I made to change what worked for me before?

Disclaimer: Men Born Male Only, No Gays, No Skirt Wearing Fairies, No Transgender, No Tires, No Women Allowed!  At this time because of work problems no African-American men or black men.  This actually hurts my feelings to write that.  I cannot believe I am writing this, but Murphy said, he doesn’t mind me including this part of the disclaimer, he knows it has nothing to do with the color of their skin, as do I know it.

 

Um, so why has this man had his hair changed from what it was a few hours ago, and why is he wearing plano glasses?  Why is he looking so specific?!  Wait, damnit!  I missed my turn.  I missed my kitchen!

This I do not understand.  Perhaps it is a just not yet, I do not understand.

Again, I am not eating.  Still full.  Thirsty.  Liquid is all I am able to manage.  It is so bad.

After the article I just saw I am having a hard time not throwing away every piece of electronic equipment and drowning myself out back.  I am so disgusted.  Because no one truly seems to believe how unbelievably hurtful, harmful, damaging, and destructive these years have been.

I do believe after tonight that I am not in the minority.  Black paint and black face are so disgusting.  It is so repellent.  That there are more men that believe with me.  That these hand years were not just unnecessary, but ruthlessly cruel in their intent.

Last time I was in Boston I ate in a decent restaurant, however I enjoyed looking at the water, being at the water, smelling the water, feeling the air off of the water.  I believe I am correct that this he agrees with me, that I did not need to move here.  That these years have not been useful in any degree or at all, that it has been an enormous waste of time, that it has far exceeded its time limit, that it has done nothing but lie to me.  More importantly, it has done nothing but damage me.

Where I wanted to go was the World of Coke in Atlanta, where I ended up was at a Pilot gas station.  Told in my head not to go to the World of Coke, I went to a museum.  A museum is better than nothing at all.

I will not retract what I wrote yesterday, do not be confused…that – he, that he along with all the other he’s who have never actually touched me in real life were so very wrong.  He knows it.  More and more people are telling him so.  More and more men are telling him so.  He has left me without a single man of my own in the flesh to love and be loved.  It is simply more than not enough.  It is cruel.  Has he gone these years without being loved by a woman in the flesh?  No.  Yet, he has made me live a life without a moment of actual love.  For what?!  A laugh?  A joke?  For money?  To make money off of me and nothing more?  It is sick.

Please stop telling me this is about love.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Do you know what happens to me every time I have been made to masturbate?  I am so ashamed, I cry.  I weep helplessly because it is not the same as being loved by a man in the flesh.  Worse I feel cheap and sickened as I try to shove out the thoughts of what random stranger has just viewed me in the flesh naked that I will never in life see with my own eyes, let alone be able to give consent to have them look and see me naked.  Hundreds and hundreds of men have looked and watched me naked that I will never know or be able to see them face to face and actually give my consent.  Hundreds.  It is disgusting.  I weep helplessly.

Everyone, it seems has gone along with it because he is famous, because he is a famous actor.

Everyone, but me.

I never have, I never did.  I was never given the choice.

He believes I am so simple, stupid and small-minded that when I discovered that it was a famous actor who watched me, looked at me on a monitor while another man was in the room that I would be so overcome, I would believe for years and years.  I have not.  I never have.  I have just not had the choice of my own.

To tell the story again for the millionth time, when I told David of my jaw and he fell to the floor immediately in laughter it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.  It is not enough.  All these years later it is not enough to keep me like a virtual slave.  Fingers in or you get heavy problems this teacher to my right tortures me with.

Let’s never meet again.  I no longer feel the same way about you, David.  How could I?  I never want to meet or see you ever again in my life.

I want him to admit he was wrong.  I want him to admit his failure.  I am not now nor; will I ever be a black woman’s baby.  He has done nothing but torture me for years, and you have all watched with him as if it was real when it never was.  I will never love James Franco.  I will never have nice things to say about him.  I will never of my own free will ever work or want to be associated or involved with him in any way.  Do not be fooled there is no love lost.

If James Franco believed I was gay, he is a dumber fool than I would have taken him for.  I have never lied about my sexuality or my wants.  He has.

Talk about psychological damage, he or a man plays in the background out of sight while a woman stands in front of me, basically coming on to me, and I am supposed to what?!  Not be disgusted?!  He is so very wrong.

I do not understand why David went along with it.  I do not understand why anyone goes along with it.

Again, I will never love David again.  It is only human nature after such betrayal and lies.  Do not be fooled there is no love lost.

A specific he asked me to write this story – this has nothing to do with a black woman walking around in a t-shirt last night.  Oscar Wilde.  I did not like reading Oscar Wilde.  The Portrait of Dorian Gray.  I found him conceded, mean, self-righteous, smug, dumb with silliness.  A gay man in a marriage to a woman who could have written a future for the world instead wrote about how vain, and ugly it is to be gay.  He was in the wrong sexual relationship.  If he had been in the correct sexual relationship perhaps his writing would have been different.

If no one wonders why I am so angry flipping traffic cameras off all the time, it is because I am in the wrong sexual relationship.  I should be with a man I can hold for the rest of my life.  Nothing else matters without that.

There was a he who walked out front, I might have worn my face on his shirt, however I am not talking about it.  There were no hands involved that I am aware of.

Tonight, while at work I was sedated, drugged, and over-novicated.  He knows it.  He knows he did wrong.  You try this, because this is how it feels, you try performing brain surgery while under anesthesia, or sedated.  It is something that happens.  I was sick and unable to work.

It has been made obvious to me that when I write about my cats it gets noticed.  However, when I write about myself nothing happens, actually worse, it does not correct itself it gets worse.  Because I am actually nothing and no one to any man.

I used to have a four-bedroom house with a sunroom and pool with property that had plants, and now I have a hallway.  And nothing more.

Disclaimer: Men Born Male Only, No Gays, No Skirt Wearing Fairies, No Transgender, No Tires, No Women Allowed!  At this time because of work problems no African-American men or black men.  This actually hurts my feelings to write that.  I cannot believe I am writing this, but Murphy said, he doesn’t mind me including this part of the disclaimer, he knows it has nothing to do with the color of their skin, as do I know it.

There will be no Coffee and Breakfast today.  It has been more than twenty-four hours since I’ve eaten.  I had cups of coffee when I woke up, but I have not had solid food in more than twenty-four hours.  This is not a norm for an adult of my age.  I will not write the good stuff until this has relented, surrendered, and given themselves the pink-slip.

We all suffer because of someone else’s tampering, interference, and involvement.  We all suffer because of it.

As Murphy brings his brows down while I am talking to him as if to say, concern.  Both Maurice and Lambert should be more stable by now.  They should not be shaking so after all this time.  Why is that?!  Because of people in my house?!  Seriously, unacceptable!!!!

I am still thinking about a Coffee and Breakfast not just for last night, but for myself as well.

Because of an altered photograph I saw, I nearly didn’t write anything at all because I was so mortified.  It is so disrespectful.  It is an all-stop for me.  It is a something I would never respond to.  Because it is so undignified.

Until then, let me tell you of a true story, I planted flowering peanut in my front yard of my house.  They are a good plant, require not much water that is important so as not to waste resources.  They cover the ground keeping weeds from causing problems and hindering the landscape with eyesores.  I planted Wisteria, I did want it to do more, not cold enough here.  Geraniums are also good, they keep certain bugs away naturally.  Yet, I so enjoyed my Allium.  They have a nice tall flower, it covers the ground, and the colors go so nicely with flowering peanut.  And, that just happens to be a true story.

I believed the story went that Jesus washed Mary’s feet when she tried to wash his feet.  However, my internet is trying to tell me a different story.

Where and to who this took place matters not anymore, however it is still true.  Once I said I have a theory about cats – that they communicate with their eyes.  He will remember it.

Please, do not misunderstand me, both Lambert and Murphy would be very good husbands.  Lambert, I have yet to create the best character for him, but he is most like a 007, or secret agent, smart, capable, lethal, and so good.  Both Lambert and Maurice have salt and pepper whiskers.  Lambert’s are, if you were to look at just his whiskers, stick nearly straight out from his mouth and are ridiculously long.  Murphy is so smart, sharp, sturdy, solid, dependable, and so cute with his white whiskers.

Ta-ta for now.  Until the heaviness relents there will not be much here.

Have you figured out the code yet?

Disclaimer: Men Born Male Only, No Gays, No Skirt Wearing Fairies, No Transgender, No Tires, No Women Allowed!

Due to safety concerns at this time there will be no access to African-American men or black men.

Did they truly ruined and damage my Brita water and filter?!

The carpeting is ruined here from all the forced steaming.

Disclaimer: Men Born Male Only, No Gays, No Skirt Wearing Fairies, No Transgender, No Tires, No Women Allowed!

Due to safety concerns at this time there will be no access to African-American men or black men.

Nearly passed out working tonight.  Because I had gone outside on my balcony before work– again this has to do with day shifters messing about in my head and how it transfers – they turned up the heat on my station.  I thought I was going to pass out.  I could barely move.

I haven’t eaten in nearly twenty hours, I am still full.  I haven’t eaten in nearly twenty hours and I am still full.  Who is going to correct this problem?!  It is normal to eat several meals throughout the day.  It is not normal to eat less than 300 calories a day, be gorged in the belly, weighed down and heavy.

Who is going to correct my soap problem?  They have added weight to my soap.

This is really someone’s idea of a job list all the problems someone does in my home while I am at work?!  It is so disgusting.

Star Wars you have a woman to blame for losing me as an audience member.  Because of her I will not be able to in any way support what has been a most criminal of activities.

For the millionth time I am not a woman’s baby.  It is not possible.  I will never love David, but that doesn’t mean in any way that I will go the way of woman?!  So, fucking stupid!

Do you think any logical person would ever be able to love a man who used them as a dog, told them the greatest they ever saw in them was to be re-trained as a dog?!  Or, a cat?!  It is so disturbing!

Tell me why do I use a grocery service if the only thing it does is abuse me?!  Take my money and disfigure me?!

Do you know what it is like to live without soap or shampoo?  I do.  So, I always keep a supply of soap or shampoo.  Guess what, most people do that.  Most people use more than one soap.

No, a game on my device does not rule over my choices or change my mind.

Until that bitch gets off her throne, off the podium, off the bridge, I am not writing.  I am looking for another job.