Category: Uncategorized

November 19, 2018

The note my mother wrote to me when I returned home from work about the two adult women from Spain staying as guests in our home.  Has been bothering me something terrible.

I did not know then, nor would I have guessed that a person would be able to create a stroke by ingesting something given to them.  It did permanent damage.  They would have watched her, not helped her, and did not get help for her.

I think my mother believed it might have worn off.

Not to mention my mother tried to get help from different places, different sources, different people about what experiences we were living through and received no help from anyone here.  I went with my mother to a lawyers, as an example.  In so many words he told us we were crazy.  Because how many people live as the target of your neighbors surveillance?  Perhaps more than are aware.  It feels like a standard operating procedure at the local law enforcement here.

It is so heinous.

Who those two women really were has been bothering me.

I am not your dog!

I am not an animal or a dog!

I want another job!

November 19, 2018

 

Here I am over the last few hours thinking and redesigning military uniforms.  Does anybody else do this?  In their spare time?  Redesign military uniforms?  Just me?  Oh, boy.  Cherith is a little, well it is probably a way to manage grief and anguish.

I was thinking of a way to place Kevlar into the fabric(s).  Using a material more like a durable Spandex material, and other fabrics, using Velcro closures with hook and loop fasteners to close the tops and attach the bottoms to the top.  I was thinking of ways to includes pockets everywhere.  Because I am sure there is never enough places to put useful items.

I also thought of making them less expensive to make.  Like I know how much a military uniform costs to make.  I don’t.  However, I am sure I could think of a way to make them better and less expensive at the same time.  Nobody else does this in their spare time?  Really?

I simply do not have enough access to information and information’s.

There is something significant about the belt.  About a belt.  I would need someone who knows everything about the details and reasoning behind its design of the US military uniforms and the military uniforms around the world.

There is something significant about the belts used in US military uniforms, how it looks, and what it says to people.  The shape it creates, the dimension of it, the statement a belt makes.

Sloppy is quite bad.  It is a bad look.  It is an IQ quotient.  An intellect factor, and, more.

At first, I thought the belt, or a belt was the equator.  I am not sure that is good enough.

That was as far as I got because, well, I need more information, access to more information, and research resources in order to get through the messaging.

November 19, 2018

 

I literally don’t want to write this.  It is very disturbing.  However, my conscience compels me to share what people have probably already wondered.

When I returned here from the driving trip in 2014 all I wanted to do was write.  Write about the drive and write about my mother.  I was told in my head repeatedly to stop writing about my mother, stop bringing up my mother, stop thinking about my mother.  Does anyone really wonder why Cherith reacts in such a way at times and over the last few years?  Is there anyone in the world who must listen to a WRONG person in their head?  Don’t think about my mother?!  Of course, I was thinking about her because she was already dead, and I wasn’t there.

The only time in my life I wasn’t there for my mother.

It has struck me as to why, why is this man in the news all of a sudden back in 2015 or 2016, why am I seeing this man in the news?

I cannot let go of the feeling that it was intentional against his mother.  Medically intentional against his mother.  From a doctor, intentional.

T-shirt this night confirms it.  Yet, it is a little more sophisticated and devious than that.  Mostly what I think, and feel is; it is about – love.  A mother’s love for a son.  A son’s love for his mother.

 

I know there has probably been a rational and intellectual conversation and description as to why black face has been allowed.  I still find it abhorrent.  However, its true meaning is so perverse and disgusting I am not able to find the words that can convey the true nature of its purpose.

 

I went to Chicago with a friend I worked with and her sister.  We took a picture in a store making it appear as though we were on the set of Star-Trek.

I understand that the “disguise” and make-up they placed on him was to demean and humiliate him, and me in the process.  What is his nationality?

 

Real father of mine, real brother of mine, I know, and I see it differently.  Relieve yourselves of any guilt, you did not know.  I am neither worried nor upset with either of you.

In a way, it is a relief to know the reason why I was so protective of my mother.  There was always someone in that neighborhood, in this state seeking to destroy my mother and her blood.

I spend more hours here writing then I can afford.  I spend almost as many hours here writing as I get paid for in manual labor.  The hardest job I’ve ever had.

I simply cannot write anymore tonight.

November 18, 2018

 

Vas-I group: There is a person that is location oriented.  10 Things I Hate About You, there is something in the location shooting of the movie, the location itself, something that wasn’t supposed to be in the movie, something along those lines.  It is in the background.  Something that means nothing to everyone except for one person.  It will be very difficult to find.  There could also be a connection in Australia where he actually lived, the city or town he lived and not just the city on his bio.  I don’t like to tell you this or write this, there is, that is the connection to his death and its location.  The location of his death.

 

There is something else that has been bothering me.  There is something in the photograph of myself and my brother in our living room in Gresham after I received the Best Supporting Actress award at Dexter McCarthy Middle School.  It has nothing to do with any recently written stories of mine.  It is something someone saw a few years ago, or at the time it happened.  It could be in the bookshelves, an item in the bookcases, however, I believe it is something on my person.  I was wearing nylons.  Knee-highs.  That is not something a person is able to know from the photograph.  I dressed myself, I was years and years ahead of my time, my surroundings, my neighborhood, and my circumstances.  I believe this, and I see this in someone else’s mind as well.  Whatever it is it means nothing to me.  Yet, I believe there are others who will be able to understand the connection.  The colors, the color of my watch, or just my whole look at such a young age.  Someone with credentials should look at these photographs, I am on to something.

 

It is going to be difficult to manage having a shopping program if I have no money to spend.

 

What happened in production?  Because the conversations that created the problems, death threats against me, and the contract killings to kill me happened within the building.  There are at least two problems.  One I told you about.  Where?  I asked where he was.  I told you.  The other, the other problem was in me helping DC eliminate threats to citizens.

The reason I refused an item on the visit was my instinct.  The reason I cancelled appointments was instinct.  I was correct, there were designs to injure my eyes, create a car crash in an attempt to at the very least harm me with the desirable effect of killing me.  I also, saw snipers.

Meanwhile, you have placed with the help of my area manager my employment in the balance just to hear me speak.  I do more than anyone else in that building.

Do you honestly not know what message that sends to people?  Because I do, I know what message that sends.  With the help of my PA, and Area Manager you have sent messages that the work I do and am doing on my own is of such a threat to criminals and War Lords, and so very valuable that you are allowing my Area Manager to threaten the security and safety of our government and its people along with governments around the world and their citizens.

I am not willing to stand for that or allow that.  Are you?  Would you agree with that?

 

This is what it feels like, push, push, push, Cherith, keep working, keep working, keep working, stop feeling, stop feeling, keep working, push, push, push, push, push.  It is hardly unreasonable after receiving such terrible news to take some time for myself.  It is very selfish of others to not allow me time to grieve in private.  No one else in the entire world lives a life like mine.

November 18, 2018

 

What’s my name?!

Boom!  Norway!  Norwegians!  Boom!

What a really good start!  Wow!  How did they do that?!  I want to know how they got that!  Boom!  Yeah!

I want to tell you what really great minds we have in this country!  What really great minds we have employed here!

I would also, cover all bets, Rear Admiral.

 

Yet, here I am sitting on my kitchen floor in grief with you China.

The loss of my mother.  The loss of years caring for my mother – for nothing else than discrimination against our British background, my heritage, my countries, my people, I am crying on the inside.  It is so extreme.  So bad.  I cannot cry.

Abuse of power because these are daughters of local law enforcements against me and my family because we were not from Plant City and nothing more.

I am sitting on my kitchen floor, drinking, listening to Gospel, forgetting that there are people in the world who want nothing more.  Who want nothing more.

 

I will forever be connected to the Jewish people!

I will forever be a Francophile!

I will forever be an Anglophile!

 

I miss my Thursday something terrible.  I see how they persecuted me through my vet and other ways because of their names Tuesday and Thursday.  There is nothing wrong with their names.  How, once moved here they tried to separate Thursday from me just because he was born male.  I am so aggrieved.

How my mother loved people and accepted them as they were, and into our home and how my mother loved people.

 

I received such news that would seem great and a justice and it is except it cut me to my core.  I asked for time off, and gave enough time, yet I was denied.  I had to leave work early.  The pain is so great.  My grief so great, I could not continue anymore.  I cannot at such a speed.

I am so aggrieved.

 

SIGN OUT!  Yes, I was asked by Chris to stop wearing my t-shirt disagreeing with the women at Amazon.

FIRE CHELSEA!  FIRE CHRIS!

 

Yes, I have been concerned and worried about Australia because of an actor who appeared in person at work because of his whitest film because it was one of the worst moments in my life THAT THEY FILMED!

Does any person live to be raped in front of an audience?  Because that is what it felt like.

Your sympathy and compassion are overwhelming.

Something has been spent within me.

No longer am I able to keep going faster and faster so I feel nothing.

 

I want another job.

It Is not my fault that Amazon hasn’t figured out that Norway is where it is at.

I am beyond emotionally spent to wash him at the moment.

November 17, 2018

 

What is this?  Somebody is wanting me to watch Fern Gully?  I brain-space see this.

Here is the problem; this means there is a problem in the Amazon.  In the actual Amazon.  With tree-logging, I see a drug business problem, there is a people problem there too.

There could be a problem at Downtown Disney at the store Basin also.

It could have to do with the missing persons in Bolivia.

Rachel purchased handmade shoes in Peru.