Category: Uncategorized

I have a list a mile long of items I need.  Who’s going to pay for all that?!

What a lousy thing they did to my bed.  Who’s going to pay for a new one?

Tired of living like this.

Day 1,560.

I am not eating.  Have whatever you would like to eat.

Tired of cleaning.  In my mind I am letting someone else clean, tired of the task, and tasks.

I am sick with upset and sadness because how many years must I live like this?  Without a man, living with me, taking care of me, sharing a life with me?

I feel like a prisoner and nothing more.  When I have done nothing wrong.

There is no reason, none, for me to live all alone like this for all these years.  There is no reason I have been made to live alone for decades.

I am angry with upset.

How many more years?

How many more years must I be alone?

This woman cannot live alone her whole life, she never has wanted to.

This woman cannot live in her head all alone – only.

Sick to death of being made to swallow for no reason.

Barney, best gentleman of a cat lived to be 21.

I don’t know how many years I must say this, it doesn’t work in my head alone.  Never has.  Never will.

Day 1,559.

When I was work, I was thinking to myself, if you thought about it there could be a lot of ways to celebrate the party moment I wrote about a few days again.

If you thought about it – it could be a charity event.  It could be an expensive plate per person dinner with the proceeds going to a charity in celebration of the party moment.  Or, any cost charity event celebrating a party moment.  Raising money for others as a party.

If you thought about it could be a local event.  Perhaps the local library needs to be refurbished, added on to, updated.  Perhaps one of the schools need a new gym, or permanent structures added, or help with a program.  Where the community could gather perhaps at the location and funds could go to the local need as a party moment.

If you thought about it perhaps a neighbor is in need, or a family, or a local park or pool, a hospital, or clinic, or road clean-up, or anything.  Where neighbors and the community could gather helping one another in celebration of a moment.  If you thought about it the possibilities are endless.

If you thought about it – it could become a worldwide movement of a moment.

What if around the world instead of crimes, killings, problems and tragedies it was reported, word was spread of how the smallest of locations, towns, villages, and biggest of cities took time away from their lives and gave of themselves, their time, their energy to have a party moment?

What would happen if around the world the news became stories of parties?  With a question mark at the end of each asking, now what will you do?

What if it became an annual movement?

What if it became an International holiday?

What would happen if countries adopted a party moment?

What if it became a humanitarian day?

What if countries adopted a humanitarian day to celebrate?  Where people gave of themselves in some way, but it didn’t end with the event it ends asking the next person to take responsibility and action.

What would happen?

What would happen to the world?

Well, it was just a thought.

If you didn’t feel that, here’s how it feels to me.  I enter the cosmos, beyond the atmosphere, thinking of possibilities, then return to my body.  Usually with a heaviness of mind, a slight thud, and sadness because of my life, then go about my way.

Because how it feels and the only way I see it anymore as I am just as much a prisoner as the ones before my eyes.

Otherwise, I would be allowed to live my life in obscurity the way I want.

Put it in perspective, my perspective, I have lived for six years isolated from the rest of the world.  Denied friendships, my pets, my family, boyfriends, and men.

I am sick with upset.

Devastated.

There was no reason for them to place in my body what they did.

None.

I am just heart-breakingly sick.

It is just as easy to exclude you as it is to include you.

I have yet to meet the man that…

If you are wondering, you are correct.  It would have bothered me so much I would have wanted to work it out.  However, what you may not know is that my job is not the best thinking place.  I imagine you knew that.  You expected me to go home and think it through.

My life is not a Hollywood movie – it takes the time it takes.

Someone was pushing for an answer on Sunday.  You receive it on Friday instead.

I am correct.

You know I am.

Perhaps, I will think on it.

Now, why did you do what you did to my beer?

Pizza?!

Based on a conversation I had with a friend after seeing the movie Forest Gump, I have a theory.  Because I disagreed with my friend about the role and importance of intelligence and IQ as being the only determining measure for success in life.

I am not the smartest person in the world, yet the supernatural is real.  God is real.  Angels are real.  There are powers unseen at work in the world.  I know this to be true.  A person can do and be something extraordinary it is not required that they are the most intelligent.

That first car accident had help or it never would have happened to me.

Not everything has to be spelled out in black and white to be understood and spoken.

How Amazon long have worked you for.

Day 1,558

The word master and master class has been turned into something other than the truth.  When a person achieves something beyond the classroom or training they are then in a class all their own.  It is not the same as a person controlling them.

So, tired of thinking at this point.

My imaginary night is over, where I only imagined eating food because I am on a diet trying to take off this fake weight.  Perhaps I will go on the cabbage soup diet also.  Still working on getting rid of unwanted weight and fat.

It seemed to be a nice jog, although I will only be able to run in my mind.

Have whatever you want, I need my scale to go down, down, down.

I had such plans for this place when I moved here, how I was going to decorate, create a dining room with storage because this place is set-up as a microwave-meals only facility rather than an actual kitchen.  I no longer have bar stools, or dining room chairs, etc.

It is hard to live in a place where everything must be covered up.  Life, imagination ceases to find me.

And, I miss my home where I had sky lights and was surrounded by light.